Shitty Beauty Hacks & Bad Advice You've Seen Online or Heard IRL - How do I make my hair grow faster? How do I get rid of stretch marks? How do I whiten my teeth naturally? Etc.

[General Disarray]

Addressing the staticky hair in winter: I have very fine hair and used to use a basic plastic comb after washing and throughout the day. I just switched over to a buffalo horn comb with a sandalwood handle for about $10 on Amazon. No more static! Great purchase and a beautiful comb too.
It says it also helps to distribute the oils along the hair shaft much like boar bristle brushes. I haven't noticed a difference in that regard though, I wash my hair every two days since Covid.

Tacking on to my request for mirror chrome polish, I just got a gel nail polish kit and absolutely love it. I'll try the chrome powder when I have a little extra money and post the results here.

 

[NoReturn]

"Makeup doesn't make your skin worse." as a blanket statement. I get there are some people who don't have issues with makeup, and I get that there's a difference between good makeup and dollar store shit, but the number of people who have gotten right up my butthole when I suggest they take a break from their stuff to see if it helps their skin is astounding.

 

[Sperghetti]

Tacking on to my request for mirror chrome polish, I just got a gel nail polish kit and absolutely love it. I'll try the chrome powder when I have a little extra money and post the results here.

I've had good luck with gel polish and the chrome powder stuff. (I've used the Sensationail brand.) A little messy, but it's definitely the shiniest and most reflective finish you're going to get. I have an iridescent powder too, which is neat.

I tried a polish called Santee Mirror Effect once and while it was a really good metallic, it wasn't exactly chrome. Looked a lot like anodized aluminum. Unfortunately, it tends to go a little weirdly thick in the bottle after a while.

 

[HickoryDickory]

Coconut oil is good for keratosis pilaris, at least for me. I noticed someone else mentioned it and it was the bane of my existence for ages. What's annoying is having to exfoliate twice a day to keep it under control. (In my case, anyways)

I generally don't trust "natural" options as I'm allergic to certain plant-based things and had a terrible reaction to a "dermatologist recommended" cream.

Does anyone remember when using milk of magnesia as an oil controller and primer was popular on YouTube?

When Regretsy was still active, there was a post about an Etsy seller selling homemade vag cleaner that included peppermint.

 

[neverendingmidi]

When Regretsy was still active, there was a post about an Etsy seller selling homemade vag cleaner that included peppermint.

Owwwwwwww.

It burns because it's working!

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

When Regretsy was still active, there was a post about an Etsy seller selling homemade vag cleaner that included peppermint.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

 

[President Joe Biden]

Coconut oil is good for keratosis pilaris, at least for me. I noticed someone else mentioned it and it was the bane of my existence for ages. What's annoying is having to exfoliate twice a day to keep it under control. (In my case, anyways)

I generally don't trust "natural" options as I'm allergic to certain plant-based things and had a terrible reaction to a "dermatologist recommended" cream.

Does anyone remember when using milk of magnesia as an oil controller and primer was popular on YouTube?

When Regretsy was still active, there was a post about an Etsy seller selling homemade vag cleaner that included peppermint.

Etsy is a scary place and I am a guy. You can buy dildos made from minerals and metals that have no business being in or near your body. Something tells me that a sex toy made of copper won't bring you the pleasure that you're looking for.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Fabric softeners leave behind residue on your fabrics creating a waxy layer that absorbs body oil and odors. You want to soften sheets and towels? Use a cup of white vinegar in the wash instead or get a set of dryer balls.

Is that what makes the pits in nasty old T-shirts waxy and hard? Wonder if shirts could last longer without using it.

 

[christie]

can confirm that white vinegar is a great fabric softener! my towels and bedding have never been softer. ♥

i'm guilty of having put various groceries on my head to try and manage my hair; i've used banana (oh my fucking god getting that shit out was a nightmare), egg, EVOO, honey, mayo, yogurt, liquid aminos, baking soda, ACV, molasses, probably some other stuff i can't remember. i was a clueless, newly natural teen with a THICK head of nappy ass hair. times were hard.

in terms of skincare, i was horrified by that charcoal + elmer's glue peel off mask that was circulating. i love peeling stuff (i use foot peel masks just for fun) and i used to love putting glue on my hands to peel it off, but i'm not putting glue on my face. btw, are people still oil pulling? ugh.

it's been mentioned already, but fuck the pushing of essential oils as these safe, powerful elixirs that will enhance every part of your life and body. i was watching (un)well on netflix (basically a docuseries about the wellness industry/alternative medicine) and i initially was interested because they were showcasing a nurse's use of essential oils as clinical aromatherapy at a hospital. then it cut to this "doctor" (of chiropractics, of course) z dude who is like obsessed with essential oils and uses them in/on everything, including in his kids' food and drinks. aaand back to browse!

 

[mutant clam ?]

This thread is bomb. I was definitely susceptible to "all-natural" "'beauty' and 'wellness'" "hacks" until ... basically the last five years or so, and had tried a whole lot of ridiculous stuff in the ten years prior that.

Now I have really streamlined, pretty simple personal care routines that aren't even that expensive. Turns out that sometimes, buying and using a product with ~ingredients you can't pronounce~ can actually save a person some time *and* a lot of money, while also achieving far greater results in much less time!! Remarkable, right?!?! Better living through chemicals, 4 reals.

Indeed, I almost typed up a full sperg about my new fave products and routines, but should probably take that over to the more relevant thread.

* edited because hit "post" too soon *

 

[Otterly]

Essential oils can be harmful - tea tree and lavender are two that may contain stuff that has hormone like effects and there are case reports of oestrogenic effects in boys (breast enlargement.)
They can be useful - inhaling a few drops of the mix of menthol/olbas type stuff can certainly help with congestion from the sniffles a bit. Overall if you like the smell go for it but I wouldn’t be putting any of that stuff on skin directly.

hair: the two main things you can change are nutrition and water. If your iron levels are too low your hair will not grow well. So get a decent checkup and your iron levels checked (there are many different ways to measure various iron levels in the body like ferritin/forms bound to proteins etc.) check your thyroid is working OK. Check your B vitamin levels are OK and you’re ok for protein.

The other thing is the water you wash in - really hard water can leave a residue in hair that feels like pencil graphite. You can buy clarifying shampoo which has EDTA and other stuff in as a detergent (go easy on it) or just dump a bottle of cheap club soda over your hair as a final rinse once a week. There are specific hard water shampoos amd they really do work.

also make sure your hair is TOTALLY dry before you pin it up.

if your water is that hard, you can also put something that’s a chelating agent in the laundry as well - there are laundry agents that can do that (calgon does one in the UK, not sure what the US equivalent is.) EDTA is the main active ingredient. It makes things softer and helps to prevent whites going green

 

[eternal dog mongler]

Oh! A few pages ago someone was talking about weird yeast infection hacks. I'm surprised no one brought up the ACV one, where you soak a tampon or cotton ball/round in ACV and then shove it on up there. There's also the one where you use a clove of raw garlic. Just go ahead and make a salad in your vagina.

I had a patient come into the emergency department once who dipped a tampon in peppermint oil and inserted it into her vagina in order to kill off her yeast infection. It's pretty effective. Kills the yeast and also your vaginal lining.

 

[Beluga]

I had a patient come into the emergency department once who dipped a tampon in peppermint oil and inserted it into her vagina in order to kill off her yeast infection. It's pretty effective. Kills the yeast and also your vaginal lining.

What in the actual fuck, my vagina hurts just reading this

 

[Otterly]

Etsy is a scary place and I am a guy. You can buy dildos made from minerals and metals that have no business being in or near your body. Something tells me that a sex toy made of copper won't bring you the pleasure that you're looking for.

Copper probably is ok (chilly though) but yeah the stone and mineral ones are basically a porous matrix for all sorts of hideous pathogens to breed in.

Nothing should be going up your vag that’s porous unless it’s a disposable tampon.

This, as any ER doc will tell you, is advice that is soundly, amusingly and often horrifyingly ignored

 

[Underestimated Nutria]

Copper probably is ok (chilly though)

Oh thank goodness

 

[StoicMoose]

Copper probably is ok (chilly though) but yeah the stone and mineral ones are basically a porous matrix for all sorts of hideous pathogens to breed in.

Nothing should be going up your vag that’s porous unless it’s a disposable tampon.

This, as any ER doc will tell you, is advice that is soundly, amusingly and often horrifyingly ignored

Even copper would be nasty if it's repeated on a regular basis. Its toxic, not enough that just stickin a copper rod in your ass will kill you, but it won't be good for the organisms that live in these areas that help keep everything in working order.

 

[WubWubz The Cat]

All of these hair stories are reminding me of a buddy I had while in high school. This dude cared more about his own hair then his friends, and it was obvious. If he even sensed you were reaching for his hair, he'd flip. I remember driving him to the salon to get his hair cut once, and I just remember the car REAKING. Me, being the awkward loser I was and trying to be a good friend, shrugged it off and got him there as fast as I could. When we got inside, and he sat down in the chair, his hairstylist gagged so hard and asked him what the hell he put in his hair. The dude has the balls to say that he read how amazing urine was for the hair and scalp, and was soaking his hair in it for about 5 days now. Never in my life have I seen someone verbally dragged through the dirt that bad, and he was quickly tossed out and told to come back when he washed his hair and stopped smelling of piss. It was a very quiet drive back to his place.

 

[Super Colon Blow]

Apparently it’s a thing to wax your genitals with hot sugar in places where hair removal shit like Nair isn’t sold. The consistency basically becomes wax-like then you rip it off

Yeast organisms love sugar. I would never do this.

 

[Cake Farts]

I used to be in the homemade masking group until someone recommended raw egg whites to reduce the look of tired eyes. Yeah no, I’m not going to put salmonella around my eyes thanks.
The absolute worse that takes the the cake in my own experience was in the Flo anonymous forums (cheap source of entertainment btw) where some chick recommended douching your vagina with Hydrogen Peroxide to get rid of smells and old period blood. I tore the dumb bitch a new one.

 

[Stoneheart]

Copper probably is ok (chilly though) but yeah the stone and mineral ones are basically a porous matrix for all sorts of hideous pathogens to breed in.

Gold should be pretty good, massive gold....