• "he does not ban or even rebuke the impersonators or penis photo senders."

Off-Topic Shitty Etsy Products

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by entropyseekswork, Jan 1, 2017.

Forum Guidelines

The Beauty Parlour is for women or not-women in the sphere of cosplay and the beauty industry that is not strictly limited to lolcows.

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    JSGOTI Just some guy on the internet
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

  1. i think the first one looks like someone just went to Home Depot and bought a wooden dowel or banister shaft and cut it in half. Height of no effort.
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    millais The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas

  2. When looking like a planet isn't enough.
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  3. Brings a new meaning to 'You're the centre of my universe.'
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    Lorento Nick Clegg's biggest fan
    True & Honest Fan

  4. For the on-the-go HAES-loving fativist who wants everyone to look are her because she has danger hair and is wearing ill-fitting, skin-right clothing in neon colors and loud prints but she's totally going to pretend it's due to being fat so she can use it for the acquisition of oppression points.
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    Broken Pussy

    Supervisor True & Honest Fan

  5. "Since I'm not a sex toy manufacturer I can't give any guarantees but I been assured that this silicone is skin safe by the manufacturer." The "Item Details" subheading contains a long political rant, and be sure to check out this guy's other listings! [Edited to fix link]

    My little cousin pointed to this mug, rolled his eyes, and said, "That's a gift for someone who thinks NPR quiz shows are hilarious." Truer words, etc.

    "Thank you for supporting the Psychic Liberation Army (PLA). Your purchase helps defeat The Impending Forces of Doom (TIFOD). Our psychic warriors depend on your support as they use psych-ops, freak flags, breakdowns and revelations to prevent douchebag billionaires from taking over and ruining everything." Insufferable hipster or genuine insane person? It's anyone's guess!

    Personally, I particularly like the utterly hideous, yet sincerely-intended tributes. Like this thing. Yikes.

    That is, scrolling through Etsy listings for "Donald Trump" offers plenty entertainment value. A++++++ would search again.
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    #26 Durable Mike Malloy, Jan 2, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2017
    Durable Mike Malloy

    Durable Mike Malloy Fine &/or dandy.
    True & Honest Fan

  6. First link is broken.

    Edit: Fixed now. Thanks @Durable Mike Malloy
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    #27 Cuck Norris, Jan 2, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2017
    Cuck Norris

    Cuck Norris dude weed lmao
    True & Honest Fan

  7. The Putin butt plug though.

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  8. I miss regretsy so much, but hopefully judging shitty crafts here will be just as fun :heart-full:
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    Blake Bumbleby

    Blake Bumbleby [yasscat intensifies]
    True & Honest Fan

  9. I found a couple of creations when I looked up `juggalo' on etsy. These look like they were made up an autistic ten year old with crayola model magic.

    screenshot-www.etsy.com 2017-01-02 20-39-03.png

    screenshot-www.etsy.com 2017-01-02 20-47-26.png

    Maybe I'm judging these too harshly, but they look like shitty products to me.
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  10. I love those keywords in the title of the item

    whoop whoop
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    Varg Did Nothing Wrong

    Varg Did Nothing Wrong Au milieu de mes semblables / Je vois des monstres

  11. Look, I thought the Jesus and Mary dildos/buttplugs were funny, but shoving anyone you disagree with up your ass seems like overkill.
    Plus it makes it seem like you would want Trump or Putin in your butt. Not exactly something one thinks about people one hates.
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    PolexiaAphrodisia Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?

  12. That's the thing. I wasn't really sure which demographic this was aimed at because of that.
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    Golly [warbles internally]
    True & Honest Fan

  13. the hatefuck demographic.
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    Becquerel sweet spergy doctor spouse

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    Un Platano

    Un Platano big blatano xDDDD
    True & Honest Fan

  14. I have a friend who collects those. She displays them alongside other glass trinkets, like those glass thermometers and unicorns and shit. She gave me a little glass flamingo when I said I didn't want a dildo.

    She will also gladly show you her assortment of actually used dildos. I do not go to her house anymore.

    Literally looks like shit. Don't shove shit up your ass, people.
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    [Insert Meme Here]

    [Insert Meme Here] Bonjour--I mean, Buenos Diás!

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    cuddle striker

    cuddle striker the aftermath of a figurative shit storm
    True & Honest Fan

  15. Since when did Etsy turn into a second-rate Spencer's?


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    Pina Colada

    Pina Colada HONEY SLASH!
    True & Honest Fan

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    Sadcake Mah beetus