• "I curse all of you in the name of YHWH, that you die, and that YHWH takes your life, and that your insides rot with pestilence!"

Off-Topic Shitty Etsy Products

Discussion in 'Beauty Parlour' started by entropyseekswork, Jan 1, 2017.

Forum Guidelines

The Beauty Parlour is for women or not-women in the sphere of cosplay and the beauty industry that is not strictly limited to lolcows.

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  1. My favorite part of regretsy was the terrible steampunk junk that was posted. As a lover of Jules Verne and as an occasional Victorian clothing collector and costumer it always made me laugh. Especially paired with this song that (was inspired by and...) I first heard on April's site.

    I know it's not periods and Putin paraphernalia levels of dumb but these are all labeled "steampunk"
    il_570xN.713608074_e1ax.jpg
    as an amature tintype photography, this is just strange il_570xN.847175746_ljwr.jpg I also have several Waltham pocket watches, so this is another sticking point...I hate shitty cheap faux pocket watches.
    il_570xN.758654851_gpja.jpg il_570xN.902035627_58cf.jpg il_570xN.948063884_i4g2.jpg
     
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    a_name_but_backwards

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  2. the best parts of regretsy would be those photos where the person taking the photo had a mirror in the background and you'd see their naked reflection in the pic
     
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    day_man

    day_man a-woooaahh

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  3. DietCherry

    DietCherry A Real™ Woman

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    DatBepisTho

    DatBepisTho Cryptid shitlord

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  4. Who the hell wants a sex toy that is cast from two fucking cucumbers. It doesn't even look aesthetically pleasing...
     
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    Varg Did Nothing Wrong

    Varg Did Nothing Wrong Au milieu de mes semblables / Je vois des monstres

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    PolexiaAphrodisia

    PolexiaAphrodisia Life just kills me. Do you have any pot?

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  5. Never trust a woman who calls it a "yoni".
     
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    a_name_but_backwards

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  6. Y'all knew it was coming.
     
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  7. Well that's one way to make your yeast infection pay dividends.
     
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    Varg Did Nothing Wrong

    Varg Did Nothing Wrong Au milieu de mes semblables / Je vois des monstres

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  8. if you just post links to shit, i will poison your well
     
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    Lackadaisy

    Lackadaisy you claim to be a player but i fucked your wife

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  9. speaking of yonis :cryblood:


    yoni - Copy.png
     
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  10. That's like something you'd see from GWAR.
     
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    Mesh Gear Fox

    Mesh Gear Fox Ghosts appear and fade away
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  11. The sextoys of etsy never fail me when it comes to providing cringe.

    Xenomorph Giger Alien Dildo
    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]


    Why?:cryblood:
    If anything they're kind of unsexy considering the serrated edge and what chestbursters do.
     
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    DatBepisTho

    DatBepisTho Cryptid shitlord

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  12. Can I hear a "FUCK NOOOOOOO" :o
     
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  13. Don't you just hate it when you feel that dreaded itch down below, or when your hooker of the moment inspects you and shakes her head and the grim realisation hits you: no sex for you today, because you've got an STD?

    Worry no longer!

    STDs shouldn't fill you with shame or... regret. Indeed, Etsy teaches us that there's no need to worry when you get a down below disease, in fact Etsy says we should proudly tout our achievement (after all, STDs mean you got laid) and should capture it for posterity.

    You can now mark the arrival of your special status with a charming cross-stitch of the hitchhiker in question. Such as, say, Syphilis:

    https://img0.etsystatic.com/007/1/6648634/il_875xN.389785796_agx5.jpg

    Or if you've had a REALLY big night out (or just want to be prepared) you can get ALL THE STDS in one handy pdf file:

    https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/151558981/instant-collection-of-stds-5-std?ref=shop_home_active_28

    https://img1.etsystatic.com/009/0/6648634/il_875xN.460563953_9os6.jpg

    Since STDs are no longer taboo, don't hesitate to needlessly bring them into the conversation! Show your friends you remembered them on their special day with this pdf of a birthday card that features a joke with a punchline you won't know until you've bought the pdf for yourself!

    https://www.etsy.com/au/listing/108...tted-disease-birthday?ref=shop_home_active_32
     
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    #76 For The Internet, Jan 18, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2017
    For The Internet

    For The Internet Tits and ALL
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  14. IMG_1797.jpg
    Perhaps not as horrifying as all the vagina related items and vaugely dangerous dildos but the price of this is quite horrifying
    For only 47 Canadian dollars, you or your child could get a badly made soft toy of a sexually designed chicken
     
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    Bugaboo

    Bugaboo I have to kill fast and bullets too slow

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  15. To be fair, it does say it's the 'scary version'...
     
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  16. Does the creator actually expect someone to buy that for $47 CAD?

    That doesn't look worth $15, not to mention $47

    Someone really should do a scientific study into Dunning-Kruger effect in regards to handmade crafts and shit on Etsy. Why is it that such terrible crap gets priced so high?
     
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    #79 Varg Did Nothing Wrong, Jan 18, 2017
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2017
    Varg Did Nothing Wrong

    Varg Did Nothing Wrong Au milieu de mes semblables / Je vois des monstres

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  17. It has to do with artist compensation gone awry.
    It's 50-50 whether or not people realize that stuff created by an individual will cost more than a mass produced item. On one hand, you get the people who are like "well, I can buy X from Wal-Mart for $5, why are you charging so much?" because these assholes don't realize that when something is handmade the creator takes much more time and effort to make it than a machine, and that the creator can't mass produce items, meaning that they can't buy materials in bulk and have to pay more for the materials. This results in sometimes comically increased prices, but it's necessary for the creator to do so in order to make a semi-decent profit; this is why commissions tend to cost a lot. There has also been a lot of discussion regarding how artists/creators should be compensated, especially on sites like Tumblr, which eventually led to the creation of sites like Patreon as a way to sort of circumvent the losses of individualized work. It's effectively the halfway point between living from project-to-project and having a steady income for your work, which works for some people. However, people just starting out and people who do this kind of work as a 'side thing' don't have that level of pre-interest to work with, hence why things like Etsy and commission work stay.

    This is combined with the attitude of some new/unprofessional/unknown creators-especially lazy ones-who don't realize that there's a limit to what people will pay for something, and that a person has to want something quite a bit to pay money for it. This GENERALLY translates to making a better or higher-quality product, or a more unique, interesting one; but people are lazy, and expect to make cash on their lazy or just unprofessional work 'because I worked hard on it! It's handmade!'

    TL;DR: entitlement.
     
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