"Owes" Is a complicated take. Its not about Owes. its about how much sex is viewed as a value in your relationshipAh. Well, my position stands; until money is exchanged, no one owes anyone else sex. I haven't had a girlfriend before, though, so perhaps my reverse-incel judgement is improper.
But lets say your in a relationship with some one with high sex needs and you go to 0.If the magic isn't there anymore, it just isn't there. If you are young (say under 40) and physical intimacy appears to be permanently off the table then I'd say the relationship is over. If your partner refuses to be intimate with you anymore despite you still wanting them then they don't care about your feelings. If your partner is trying to strong-arm you into sex when they know you don't want to then they don't care about your feelings.
But what if its not psych meds thouIt's much more likely to be the depression itself that affects the sex drive, and the reasons for that can be myriad. But anyone performing sex acts as some kind of obligation whilst in a depressed mindset is opening the door to sexual aversion because negative correlations are real. If they subconsciously attach sexual acts with a specific person to their period of depression, you'll have a real mess to untangle. Similarly, the depressed partner performing through fear of being left otherwise is not really the greatest foundation for a relationship.
Reminds me of a Louie bit where he lets a woman tearfully manipulate him into fixing a door in her house and it ends up being a montage of doing male chores around the house that seem really boring, taking out the trash, fixing a doorknob, changing a light, unplugging the toilet, plugging her holes, building a shelf.Do you want your partner thinking "oh bloody hell, 'ere we go again" every time they look at your nob? If they're not into it, they're not into it and personally, I'd rather not be a chore for my partner; "put up shelf....change oil in car....do washing up...shag me bird, sigh."
I have no idea where you get that idea of European history as polygamous and celibates as it certainly does not seem accurate, unless perhaps you include pre-civilizational Europe. In any case, in these days we're all living in america, coca cola, wonderbra.The idea that every person has a "sex life" is strictly a modern, mostly American one. Sexual intimacy is indeed a part of life, but not necessarily a thing for it's own sake. Remember that through most of European history a substantial portion of the population was celibate, and in many other societies a portion of the population was polygamous.
"in many other societies" as in "non-European" (MEA) societies where polygamy abounded. Europe has very limited history w/polygamy as such, concubinage some in the elite (priestly and monastic concubinage was a perennial issue of course but by no means ubiquitous and a substantial portion was celibate)I have no idea where you get that idea of European history as polygamous and celibates as it certainly does not seem accurate, unless perhaps you include pre-civilizational Europe. In any case, in these days we're all living in america, coca cola, wonderbra.
We've all accepted the intellectual ideas of Kinsey, in regards to homosexuality and other types of non-progenitating sex. We've mostly all accepted birth control as a healthy part of life (I don't like it, but that's the mainstream culture). So yes, most Europeans have the idea of having a sex life too as a part of your life, besides the intellectual basis from Kinsey, we also were imprinted with hollywood movies and american tv. Sex and the city is only a very recent iterator of that message.
Romans weren't really polygamous either.
This.As far as sex drives go, they vary, like I said; and no, it's not like the hunger drive, nor is it like the drive to get intoxicated, it's somewhere in between and yet totally different and most of all depends on the context. We don't have sex because it benefits us. It produces babies, which actually rather inconvenience us as individuals but are essential to society and to fulfilling human potential. We like sex so much to make up for that. Our society is similtaneously ridiculously hypersexualized and ridiculously hung up about sex because it's totally dissolved the intrinsic bond between sex and it's natural consequence, having babies, and made "sex" into something broader which so many fucked up fetishes/orientations/whatever are out there, and why people who are in relationships with mismatched sex drives get put in such a catch22 or in psychology-speak a "double bind." Yes, mismatched sex drives are probably not good for a relationship but a relationship should neither ride entirely on sex nor ignore it and most importantly not take it out of proper context.
Just as I would never be in a relationship with a man who couldn't fix himself a fucking sandwich, I'm not going to be in a relationship with a man who can't masturbate."I'm horny" is just as valid a need as "I'm hungry", "I'm cold" or whatever. It's your partner, help them out for fuck's sake.
If you believe masturbation is a replacement for actual intimacy, you're never going to be in a relationship at all.Just as I would never be in a relationship with a man who couldn't fix himself a fucking sandwich, I'm not going to be in a relationship with a man who can't masturbate.