Sketchy Cookbooks and Recipes - or, What Can I Add Into This Fish Shaped Jell-O Mold
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Sister services, email, and search will continue to be negatively effected by the attacks. I made a thread to talk about it, if you're into networking.
There's so many great recipes in that book. And by "great" I mean hilariously lazy.From the ‘Mighty Marvel Superheroes’ Cookbook’:
damn bro you stoned af
gREEEEEEEEEr
kiwifarms.net
No thread of sketchy recipes can be complete without Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad, courtesy of Jack Scalfani of the "Jack Scalfani / Cooking With Jack" thread.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
His expression looks like the reaction of the artist who had to draw this. "You want me to draw him holding a pancake with what in it?!"
Cooking-for-Hoarders dude https://kiwifarms.net/threads/masaokis.5420 needs to write up some of his recipes. It's really more about the preparation than the ingredients.
MysticMisty
kiwifarms.net
Bumping this because my mom was reading a magazine or something and found an article about Thanksgiving/Christmas traditions that need to die. One of the things mentioned was Jell-O molds containing vegetables, which my mom had never heard of and immediately quoted that part of the article to me. Because of this thread I could confirm to my mom that yes, savory-flavored Jell-Os and Jell-O molds containing vegetables and other horrible things is, unfortunately, real. And then shared some of the pictures posted with her as proof. She's both disgusted and horrified that people actually ate that shit.
Confirmed: someone's been jerking off too much on The job. Especially to think of using this stuff beyond sandwiches, hoagies, and wraps.
Googled this dish because I couldn't figure out what it was, and this picture is actually one of the better versions. It's poched eggs in wine sauce, but it usually just looks an abortion.
Eggs Meurette
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^ Looks like some knockoff Xenomorph eggs.
I have never internally screamed 'WHY???' so much as I have whilst reading this thread.
Vegetables in jello. Bananas in ham. Eggs in wine. Will the gods not answer me as to why humanity thought creating such horrors would be acceptable?
We should have a Kiwi Farms horror cooking weekend, where a bunch of us make hideous recipes from the past and post photos of the results. If Kiwis were brave enough to cook Vegan Ginger's recipes, we can handle a few peas in jello and mayonnaise on fruit. Right?
Right?
Anyone?
Vegetables in jello. Bananas in ham. Eggs in wine. Will the gods not answer me as to why humanity thought creating such horrors would be acceptable?
We should have a Kiwi Farms horror cooking weekend, where a bunch of us make hideous recipes from the past and post photos of the results. If Kiwis were brave enough to cook Vegan Ginger's recipes, we can handle a few peas in jello and mayonnaise on fruit. Right?
Right?
Anyone?
I've been meaning to work up enough nerve to make some of the more horrifying recipes in my grandmother's jello cookbook, particularly that one in my OP.
I've been researching lime jello salads lately since I've started a tradition of making (edible) jello creations for the sake of retro fun on Christmas. I want to make a few good ones, but I might go all out and make one of the funkier recipes. And there are some FUNKY recipes out there.
Holy lolcow, they look horrifying. Excellent work!
Please report back with photos if you do make some insane jello dishes for this Christmas. Preferably with photos of the family's reaction to said jello dishes (god love and peace be upon them).
You know you're going to get the reputation as the evil aunt at this rate, right?
Most of the recipes in this topic are funny or mildly disgusting.
There is something viscerally terrifying about the Party Cheese Salad. I know there's things in this topic that are more directly disgusting, but Aunt Myrna's abomination seems to be more horrible because there's at least one person who can make it, eat it, and declare with a straight face that it's delicious. I know that person is Jack, who has a shitty palette to begin with, but somehow I expect better from him despite all evidence to the contrary.
I can watch that video a hundred times and each time, without fail, I will silently beg Jack to stop, even though I know just how this tragedy is going to unfold.
My personal favorite: Hulk's Sloppy Joe. Might as well just say, "Follow the instructions on the can."
Bonus points for including Spiderman encouraging kids to get started at clogging their arteries at a young age and Captain America giving the reader a shit-eating grin while eating a hero that looks way better than the sparse recipe next to him.
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Friends, this Christmas eve I bring you great tidings. Tidings of jello salad. I had an early Xmas celebration with my parents, grandma, and step-grandpa (who we'll call Fat Bastard) so I brought my soon-to-be-famous Cheery Cherry Jello Salad over. You see, Fat Bastard doesn't like cherry. No one likes Fat Bastard, so the flavor choice was obvious.
At the point this photo was taken, my cute little swirls of Reddi-Whip had melted into cum puddles but considering the nature of this thread, it might just add to the visual experience.
Beautiful.
So how do you make this?
Boil 2 cups of water and add in a packet of jello (in this case, black cherry). Mix it up until it starts to look and smell like cough syrup. Take 6 ounces of softened cream cheese and use a mixer until it looks kind of smooth. It should look like Pepto-Bismol at this stage. If you, like me, forgot to soften the cream cheese you should have a cottage cheese-like texture. Add in 2 cups of Seven Up and let the mix chill out in the fridge for an hour and a half. Mix in 2 cups of Cool Whip. You can also add 8 ounces of crushed pineapple chunks but I didn't because fuck pineapples. Put that in the fridge 4 hours or overnight to set. When you serve, add some cute dollops of Reddi-Whip and cherries (if you can find any)
Beautiful serving of Christmas jello. Smells a little like Pepto-Bismol. But the most important question is how does it taste?
It was fuckin' delicious. It's very mousse-like, it's light and fluffy and the flavor was very much like cherry 7-up.
I would have eaten more servings if I wasn't already stuffed with beans and pork. My dad and grandma agreed that it was tasty. My mom HATED the texture but thought that the flavor was nice. Fat Bastard wouldn't even touch it. Fuck you Fat Bastard. My jello salad doesn't like you either.
We've got enough leftover to finish tomorrow for Christmas Dinner, so I'm going to hold off on the second recipe until New Year's. Stay tuned for jello part 2.
Beautiful.
So how do you make this?
Boil 2 cups of water and add in a packet of jello (in this case, black cherry). Mix it up until it starts to look and smell like cough syrup. Take 6 ounces of softened cream cheese and use a mixer until it looks kind of smooth. It should look like Pepto-Bismol at this stage. If you, like me, forgot to soften the cream cheese you should have a cottage cheese-like texture. Add in 2 cups of Seven Up and let the mix chill out in the fridge for an hour and a half. Mix in 2 cups of Cool Whip. You can also add 8 ounces of crushed pineapple chunks but I didn't because fuck pineapples. Put that in the fridge 4 hours or overnight to set. When you serve, add some cute dollops of Reddi-Whip and cherries (if you can find any)
Beautiful serving of Christmas jello. Smells a little like Pepto-Bismol. But the most important question is how does it taste?
It was fuckin' delicious. It's very mousse-like, it's light and fluffy and the flavor was very much like cherry 7-up.
I would have eaten more servings if I wasn't already stuffed with beans and pork. My dad and grandma agreed that it was tasty. My mom HATED the texture but thought that the flavor was nice. Fat Bastard wouldn't even touch it. Fuck you Fat Bastard. My jello salad doesn't like you either.
We've got enough leftover to finish tomorrow for Christmas Dinner, so I'm going to hold off on the second recipe until New Year's. Stay tuned for jello part 2.
This looks like something I threw up once. I can't imagine how much more horrible it would have been if you had added the pineapple.
Thank you for sharing your holiday tale, and have a very Kiwi Christmas.
