Orbiter Slingblade and Phil crossover thread. - It's containment for our own amusement.

UselessRubberKeyboard

Mergin' n' spergin'
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Did Phil actually terrify Jon away with his "I'm a crazy faggot with a gun" act?

That would be hilarious, since he should have just evicted him by telling him get the fuck out.
That's probably how Phil will spin it. Slingblade has already plumped for the "can't live in a place where someone has a gun cos suicidal" option, although as he's been there for years and isn't dead yet there's obviously something fishy about that statement. He did preface that claim with a long tweet screed about Phil being the filthiest, laziest person he's ever lived with, so bad that even an old alcoholic grifter like him couldn't take it. Guess it feels good to tell the truth, even if you have to use a figleaf of a lie (ie the gun story) to look fair.

Phil probably won't spill much, because he was terrified of Slingblade. Slingblade, however, I have high hopes for. He's a backstabbing fucker who uses any little thing possible to claim victimhood (and donations). Fleeing from a weapons-obsessed military larper who had him living in fear every second of the day could pay off well.

If anything, it's fascinating to see how boring middle aged weirdos make up ridiculous shit to make their lives more exciting.
 

Hellfire

Sugar Cubes
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
With Slingblade managing to clock up years of squatting and extorting Phil, Phil was by far the most exploited mark he's had in years. Even Tim eventually cut him off.

June 2015 (possibly earlier) to October 2015 (5+ months) - Roommate with a troon near Seattle, Washington, they allegedly got their eviction notice in September and I say allegedly because Slingblade could easily have lied about it to grift. Probably spent their money on booze instead of the bills and rent.

November 2015 to April 30th, 2016 (6~ months) - Slingblade had spent the past months grooming Tim Whitbeck into believing Slingblade was his "girlfriend" and that he "loved" Tim and when he got kicked out of the last place he ended up moving into Tim's mom's house in North Carolina. Tim's family almost immediately tried to get rid of Slingblade. By January Tim's mom was allegedly openly referring to Slingblade as "it" and "that thing," and likely told him to GTFO. They gave him 2-3 weeks notice in March after he had spent a week out in LA for the TEAs (probably with stolen money). He stayed past the deadline and after that 2 weeks had become 6 weeks (with him planning to squat even longer) they finally got him to GTFO on April 30th. While at the Whitbeck's, Slingblade stole money from Tim's mom, was abusive and refused to do anything around the house and screamed at them and blamed his "DID," put Tim in $2,000+ of credit card debt, and even long after they got rid of him he continued to manipulate Tim into giving him money.

May 2016 to July 2016 (3~ months) - An "awesome" troon he called his "benefactor" invited Slingblade to stay with them in California after he got tossed out of the Whitbeck's. It's unknown if this was meant to be temporary, but Slingblade may have expedited his ejection by drinking all their booze, by June he was trying to find someone dumb enough to take him in.

Late July 2016 to September 2016 (2~ months) - A married couple in Washington were the next rubes and Slingblade had a "good feeling" about it. Slingblade, who had been grifting continuously since at least September 2015, got called out for continuing to ebeg after this move. He almost immediately was pulling his "DID" shit with them, and he managed to last a little over a month before the writing was on the wall. I don't know what the last straw was but they had to yell at him for smoking weed in their apartment and 12 days later he had worn out yet another welcome and would be "homeless."

October 2016 to May 2019 (2 years and 7~ months) - Slingblade started trawling Twitter for his next mark and declared himself to be "homeless" on October 7th. This brings us to Philth, who was the only one stupid enough to invite Slingblade in, less than a week after getting moved into his spud cave. Slingblade took control of the apartment's bedroom and Phils new "girlfriend" forced Phil to sleep on a couch in the living room. Something happened a few weeks into this where Slingblade thought he was going to be forced out. While Slingblade played along for a month or so such as entering a suicide pact with Phil over President Trump, their 'relationship' quickly became just Phil's delusions, such as declaring a bicycle to be the 'daughter' of himself and Slingblade, and eventually Slingblade convinced Phil they were "queer platonic," and by March 2017 Phil began having fears that Slingblade was going to ditch him. At one point Slingblade proclaimed himself to be "living alone" and the only troon in the building. Both Phil and Slingblade started shit with their downstairs neighbor, with Slingblade calling the cops on him at least once and attempting to antagonize him further, and Phil openly discussing murdering him on social media. We don't know what these chucklefucks managed to do exactly, but we know they must have fucked up badly for Slingblade to bail on such a successful grift, and he started working on an exit strategy in early 2019 and officially broke up with Phil in late January, telling Phil he was going to leave in 6 weeks, and blaming it on Phil being unable to financially "provide" for him. This was short lived and Slingblade used his threat of leaving to manipulate Phil into giving him more control over the apartment. After being evicted or kicked out of at least 4 places in the last 4 years, Slingblade must have known something was coming as he began ebegging for nearly $4,000 to move yet again and spun a tall tale about him being "unsafe" at Phil's because Phil had a non-existent gun that Slingblade's "DID" headmates were going to get and kill himself with. He, stupidly, was able to grift $2,311 from this latest scam, was able to groom someone in Michigan to be his next host, and took off in early May, leaving Phil to face the possible eviction all on his own.
 
Last edited:

muh_moobs

Lord of mspaint shitposts
kiwifarms.net
With Slingblade managing to clock up years of squatting and extorting Phil, Phil was by far the most exploited mark he's had in years. Even Tim eventually cut him off.

June 2015 (possibly earlier) to October 2015 (5+ months) - Roommate with a troon near Seattle, Washington, they allegedly got their eviction notice in September and I say allegedly because Slingblade could easily have lied about it to grift. Probably spent their money on booze instead of the bills and rent.

November 2015 to April 30th, 2016 (6~ months) - Slingblade had spent the past months grooming Tim Whitbeck into believing Slingblade was his "girlfriend" and that he "loved" Tim and when he got kicked out of the last place he ended up moving into Tim's mom's house in North Carolina. Tim's family almost immediately tried to get rid of Slingblade. By January Tim's mom was allegedly openly referring to Slingblade as "it" and "that thing," and likely told him to GTFO. They gave him 2-3 weeks notice in March after he had spent a week out in LA for the TEAs (probably with stolen money). He stayed past the deadline and after that 2 weeks had become 6 weeks (with him planning to squat even longer) they finally got him to GTFO on April 30th. While at the Whitbeck's, Slingblade stole money from Tim's mom, was abusive and refused to do anything around the house and screamed at them and blamed his "DID," put Tim in $2,000+ of credit card debt, and even long after they got rid of him he continued to manipulate Tim into giving him money.

May 2016 to July 2016 (3~ months) - An "awesome" troon he called his "benefactor" invited Slingblade to stay with them in California after he got tossed out of the Whitbeck's. It's unknown if this was meant to be temporary, but Slingblade may have expedited his ejection by drinking all their booze, by June he was trying to find someone dumb enough to take him in.

Late July 2016 to September 2016 (2~ months) - A married couple in Washington were the next rubes and Slingblade had a "good feeling" about it. Slingblade, who had been grifting continuously since at least September 2015, got called out for continuing to ebeg after this move. He almost immediately was pulling his "DID" shit with them, and he managed to last a little over a month before the writing was on the wall. I don't know what the last straw was but they had to yell at him for smoking weed in their apartment and 12 days later he had worn out yet another welcome and would be "homeless."

October 2016 to May 2019 (2 years and 7~ months) - Slingblade started trawling Twitter for his next mark and declared himself to be "homeless" on October 7th. This brings us to Philth, who was the only one stupid enough to invite Slingblade in, less than a week after getting moved into his spud cave. Slingblade took control of the apartment's bedroom and Phils new "girlfriend" forced Phil to sleep on a couch in the living room. Something happened a few weeks into this where Slingblade thought he was going to be forced out. While Slingblade played along for a month or so such as entering a suicide pact with Phil over President Trump, their 'relationship' quickly became just Phil's delusions, such as declaring a bicycle to be the 'daughter' of himself and Slingblade, and eventually Slingblade convinced Phil they were "queer platonic," and by March 2017 Phil began having fears that Slingblade was going to ditch him. At one point Slingblade proclaimed himself to be "living alone" and the only troon in the building. Both Phil and Slingblade started shit with their downstairs neighbor, with Slingblade calling the cops on him at least once and attempting to antagonize him further, and Phil openly discussing murdering him on social media. We don't know what these chucklefucks managed to do exactly, but we know they must have fucked up badly for Slingblade to bail on such a successful grift, and he started working on an exit strategy in early 2019 and officially broke up with Phil in late January, telling Phil he was going to leave in 6 weeks, and blaming it on Phil being unable to financially "provide" for him. This was short lived and Slingblade used his threat of leaving to manipulate Phil into giving him more control over the apartment. After being evicted or kicked out of at least 4 places in the last 4 years, Slingblade must have known something was coming as he began ebegging for nearly $4,000 to move yet again and spun a tall tale about him being "unsafe" at Phil's because Phil had a non-existent gun that Slingblade's "DID" headmates were going to get and kill himself with. He, stupidly, was able to grift $2,311 from this latest scam, was able to groom someone in Michigan to be his next host, and took off in early May, leaving Phil to face the possible eviction all on his own.
They became queer-platonic when Phil declined sex with John and used asexuality as an excuse to not have to revisit the issue.
 
Tags
None

About Us

The Kiwi Farms is about eccentric individuals and communities on the Internet. We call them lolcows because they can be milked for amusement or laughs. Our community is bizarrely diverse and spectators are encouraged to join the discussion.

We do not place intrusive ads, host malware, sell data, or run crypto miners with your browser. If you experience these things, you have a virus. If your malware system says otherwise, it is faulty.

Supporting the Forum

How to Help

The Kiwi Farms is constantly attacked by insane people and very expensive to run. It would not be here without community support.

BTC: 1DgS5RfHw7xA82Yxa5BtgZL65ngwSk6bmm
ETH: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
BAT: 0xc1071c60Ae27C8CC3c834E11289205f8F9C78CA5
LTC: LSZsFCLUreXAZ9oyc9JRUiRwbhkLCsFi4q
XMR: 438fUMciiahbYemDyww6afT1atgqK3tSTX25SEmYknpmenTR6wvXDMeco1ThX2E8gBQgm9eKd1KAtEQvKzNMFrmjJJpiino