SO EXCITED FOR 2020!!! | Vlogmas Day 17 2020 12/17/2019 - I’m so excited I can’t withstand it right now

[CindyChafe]

Our gorl is early today. We get a cleaning montage and more planner spergery.

Amber gets hit by the sands of time and realizes she’s going to be 29 in 10 days and 30 in 1 year and 10 days. Will she see 30? I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

so many planners for someone who does so little...

Amber apologizes for a lame vlog and ends with the usual *mwah* see you in the next one.

total skip if you don’t want to see the herp that’s out in full force.

 

[oasys]

New festive icon up for grabs, happy Herpedays to all!

 

[ThoughtsAndPrayers]

What ... now storms are to blame for her stomach hurting ???!!!
This is amazing

 

[Chihiro]

She seems very excited to gain more weight next year, all while saying she's losing.

Also, nice thumbnail. Jesus.

 

[El_Guapo's Sweater]

Is that thumbnail doing a little "foreshadowing" for 2020?! Looks like Hamber carrying a damn urn!! RIP Beggy ...

 

[dingobaby]

What ... now storms are to blame for her stomach hurting ??‽!!
This is amazing

Those rain clouds should up their PH for our dainty gorl

 

[oasys]

What ... now storms are to blame for her stomach hurting ??‽!!
This is amazing

Clearly it's the wind that's shaking and quaking her bowels and definitely not the several pounds of sushi she inhaled the night before.

 

[ThoughtsAndPrayers]

is she buying planners instead of journals thinking people won't say they're the same and she already have plenty of shit to (not) write on

 

[THOTto]

i know I make this suggestion quite a bit but-

Die amber.

 

[darkwingosonichugorl]

"There are people that use up to 20 planners. I don't know how they do that!"

You have 100s of them somewhere in the hoard.

 

[Masta]

These proportions just freak me out.
She looks like an obese midget right here.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

In which one is she going to track her infections and ER visits? You missed an opportunity to buy a funeral planner, gorl.

 

[a llama weighs 450lbs]

 

[ThoughtsAndPrayers]

In which one is she going to track her infections and ER visits? You missed an opportunity to buy a funeral planner, gorl.

And who's gonna inherit her hoard and her YouTube money?!
Imagine Ambers and Beckys mom's fighting over it

 

[pegecag785]

I wish we got a full shot of Mount Pilimanjaro to see how big it is, Becky seems to be pretty far from Hamber

 

[lowsodiumsituation]

These proportions just freak me out.
She looks like an obese midget right here.

That fist looks like Photoshop. Jesus Christ.

 

[dingobaby]

Lezzbereal, those stickers are rewards for Becky when she fetches you 20 piece nuggies

I wish we got a full shot of Mount Pilimanjaro to see how big it is, Becky seems to be pretty far from Hamber

View attachment 1055311

Becky looks like Artax sinking into the Swamp of Sadness

 

[ADHD]

Archive:

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

My soul has died.

Spoiler: Recap of this stupid bullshit

Recapping because I’m bored and I hate myself.

0:00 Nice to see we’ve completely given up on raping our ears with that horrid intro!
0:21 AL is putting’ out those matin’ skills informing us that yes, she’ll be 29 in 10 days… which means she’ll be 30 in a year and 10 days. If she’s lucky. Edit: Except we both forgot that 2020 is a leap year, so 1 year and 11 days. DAMMIT.
0:28 Goes through what her typical routine was today. Woke up, weighed herself (lolz you a lah), showered (hair is in a poop bun, you still a lah), got ready (meaning drawing sad eyebrows on her face).
0:33 First friends mentioned - speaking with them on Marco Polo or some shit. Like we care, Amber. We all know you don’t have any real friends.
0:51 Oooo, we’re going to clean today. Yay. How excited.
1:04 Worst music ever as she gives up sped up waddling and rearranging shit.
1:33 Now she’s going through her chokers and jewelry and shit. We are liveeeeen.
2:00 Shows up a still overly loaded box of earrings and chocker tree, professing she actually got rid of a lot of stuff.
2:34 Shows boxes of shit that she’s going to give away or give to her ‘friends.’ More shit for D&D.
3:02 Sperging about Disney +, we get another Amberism. Two, actually. First, “We’ve been watching Christmas movies and we’ve seen majority” followed by “I’m actually so excited right now that I can’t even withstand it.” Authorlynn strikes again!
3:20 Laments that she only made it halfway through the Christmas movie she was so excited about because she has a super short attention span. Can’t expect anything more from our gorl. Then goes on to show us the weather outside. She is disappointed that it doesn’t look as dark on camera as it looks in reality.
3:23 Whining that her stomach hurts and blames it on the weather. Dumbass. And she then goes on that she loves the rain, but hates the storms because thunder, lightning and wind are scary.
4:15 Amberlynn shows us her lacking dexterity by being incapable of opening a door.
4:42 Going on to the Gucci bamboo set. With the ‘rolly on’ that’s going into her purse.
5:27 Explains how she’s afraid to try new lotions, but finally got around to the Gucci shit and it ‘smells like heaven’. Apparently Becky loves it. She speaks with so much enthusiasm it’s hard to believe! Becky’s enthusiasm was evident in how much she moved from her spot on pillow mountain (spoken not at all).
6:46 Wow, they hang their pictures with duct tape. Talk about trashy.
7:05 Sperging about planners and wishing she was sponsored by said planners. Planners! To plan all that shit in her life!! Like breakfast and lunch and dinner!
7:40 Now going through her cyuuuuuuooooote planners. Going to write what she’s grateful for and other bullshit in this crap. Dude, it’s a fucking daily planner, meant for people who actually have shit they have to organize and schedules they must make. AL has absolutely no legitimate purpose for these.
9:06 Ah, we have a start date. She’s going to be writing in her shit planners/memory diaries/what the fuck ever she wants to call them starting January 1st. This will be another thing to avoid talking about her weight gains.
10:07 We’re on the forth journal and I don’t give a shit. Let’s see. What she’s dreaming/gracious for, her memories, social media, budgeting, no more shits given.
10:58 The pastel striped journal will be for her meal plans, grocery lists, weight loss, etc. We will never see this journal again.
11:25 “These are my happy planner stickers. There are quite a few that I have boughten.”
12:00 Horrid chest-fat cleavage closeup. Thanks, AL. I didn’t need my eyes anymore; the bleach I will use to wash them after finishing this video will feel fantastic.
12:50 Going through what she uses stickers for. Ugh. So lame and boring.
13:05 She admits that her video is lame as fuck. I agree with her.

No comment of the day, no music save one stupid song clip during her sped up cleaning, no effort. 0/10, do not watch.

Edit: Had to fix an autocorrect. Apparently Notepad hates Amberisms.
Edit 2: I'm a retard and had to update because I forgot about leap years.

 

[Your_Fairy_Wish_Prince]

It's sad that this pathetic fat bitch has to assign herself "homework" in order to get through the day because she has no life. You don't need to write what you are grateful for Hamber, you don't need a fucking planner, as for keeping track of (whatever the fuck she needs to keep track of because every damn day is exactly the same as the last) she isn't going to do it, you don't need to keep track of something that you aren't going to do. What you need to do is set a fucking alarm every hour and get up and walk around for 5-10 minutes.

I am not trying to shit on people who keep journals but honestly, I don't think that many of us have lives that are exciting enough to write about every day. I could see if this was the wild west or the victorian age when a lot of exciting shit was happening but no one is going to want to read the exploits of a 600-pound 30-year-old child who can barely cobble together a cohesive sentence.