So have you been caught masturbating - NO MOM I AM PLAYING WITH MY JOYSTICK

MRMUZZRAT SAUDIKILLER

kiwifarms.net
Summary: 5 years ago so I was at a family invitation with my parents,cousins,aunts and uncles being there so while my family was chit chatting I decided to jack off in the bathroom there one catch though the door lock was broken wasn't gonna be fixed until tomorrow but I said fuck it so when I nutted next thing I hear is the door opening and it was my mother given I was from a Islamic family welp thankfully I was only given a long lecture on what was doing was akin to raping good thing was that I was in a room while mom lecturing me Tl;dr no one in my family knows that I masturbated except for mom
 
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William Tell Underpass

#ApplesForHobos
kiwifarms.net
you must have been an early starter.

I was under the impression that by the time you hit puberty if you have a bad encounter with your mother its your duty to discipline her...
 

Absolute Brainlet

Local demon pimp shitposting on New Zealand forum
kiwifarms.net
Not once.
See, what I like to do in case someone comes in is this:
I take a flashlight and shine it in a box full of mirrors. Then I quickly close the box so all the accumulated light doesn't escape.
Then, whenever someone comes in, I open the box and quickly blind them with all the light before they realise what's going on. Works every time.
Try it yourself, if you don't believe me.
 

Absolute Brainlet

Local demon pimp shitposting on New Zealand forum
kiwifarms.net
Not once.
See, what I like to do in case someone comes in is this:
I take a flashlight and shine it in a box full of mirrors. Then I quickly close the box so all the accumulated light doesn't escape.
Then, whenever someone comes in, I open the box and quickly blind them with all the light before they realise what's going on. Works every time.
Try it yourself, if you don't believe me.
However, if you are caught, then don't worry: I got another tip for ya!
Just keep beating off. That's it. If the person that caught you keeps watching, they automatically become gay. Success is all about finding the silver lining in any bad situation.
Obviously, this only works if that person is the same gender as you.
Beware! This may have unintended consequences!
 

polonium

By your genders combined, I am Captain Tumblr
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
They absolutely all know, they definitely talk about it when you're not around.
The conversation went something like this:
"I caught little Derka Derka Junior masturbating the other day"
"By Allah's Beard! Why do we have all these beautiful goats around if he's just going to use his hand! I'll have a talk with him"
"No need dear I already did. Don't embarass him'
'You're probably right. They grow up so fast, don't they? It'll be time for his first bomb vest soon"
 

MRMUZZRAT SAUDIKILLER

kiwifarms.net
They absolutely all know, they definitely talk about it when you're not around.
The conversation went something like this:
"I caught little Derka Derka Junior masturbating the other day"
"By Allah's Beard! Why do we have all these beautiful goats around if he's just going to use his hand! I'll have a talk with him"
"No need dear I already did. Don't embarass him'
'You're probably right. They grow up so fast, don't they? It'll be time for his first bomb vest soon"
Makes it even more weird that i was jacking it to furry porn although i am not into furry shit anymore
 
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