So have you been caught masturbating - NO MOM I AM PLAYING WITH MY JOYSTICK

[Indian J.C denton]

Summary: 5 years ago so I was at a family invitation with my parents,cousins,aunts and uncles being there so while my family was chit chatting I decided to jack off in the bathroom there one catch though the door lock was broken wasn't gonna be fixed until tomorrow but I said fuck it so when I nutted next thing I hear is the door opening and it was my mother given I was from a Islamic family welp thankfully I was only given a long lecture on what was doing was akin to raping good thing was that I was in a room while mom lecturing me Tl;dr no one in my family knows that I masturbated except for mom

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

MY PANTS WERE FALLING OFF!
IT WAS A VIRUS MOM!

 

[DubbleBubble]

MY PANTS WERE FALLING OFF!
IT WAS A VIRUS MOM!

Damn Coronachan up in here rapin' errybody

 

[Biden's Chosen]

given I was from a Islamic family welp thankfully I was only given a long lecture on what was doing was akin to raping good thing

Pretty much what I expected. "Muslim family. That's like raping. Good thing!"

They're the only ones that get it.

 

[Foltest]

THE DOOR WAS CLOSED!

 

[William Tell Underpass]

you must have been an early starter.

I was under the impression that by the time you hit puberty if you have a bad encounter with your mother its your duty to discipline her...

 

[Curt Sibling]

You guys still have moms?

 

[Pina Colada]

Have your palms grown any hair since?

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

Not once.
See, what I like to do in case someone comes in is this:
I take a flashlight and shine it in a box full of mirrors. Then I quickly close the box so all the accumulated light doesn't escape.
Then, whenever someone comes in, I open the box and quickly blind them with all the light before they realise what's going on. Works every time.
Try it yourself, if you don't believe me.

 

[Super Colon Blow]

Wait for night time when everyone else in the house is snoring, silly.

 

[User names must be unique]

Caught implies being observed wasn't part of my plan all along, our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks.

 

[not william stenchever]

Tactical Espionage Masturbation: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Beater

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

Not once.
See, what I like to do in case someone comes in is this:
I take a flashlight and shine it in a box full of mirrors. Then I quickly close the box so all the accumulated light doesn't escape.
Then, whenever someone comes in, I open the box and quickly blind them with all the light before they realise what's going on. Works every time.
Try it yourself, if you don't believe me.

However, if you are caught, then don't worry: I got another tip for ya!
Just keep beating off. That's it. If the person that caught you keeps watching, they automatically become gay. Success is all about finding the silver lining in any bad situation.
Obviously, this only works if that person is the same gender as you.
Beware! This may have unintended consequences!

 

[Indian J.C denton]

Have your palms grown any hair since?

No

 

[Never Scored]

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Only cowards lie when caught mass debating. Be like the chad retard, wack it loud and proud.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I put googly eyes and a wig on my hand so to the casual observer it looks like I’m being blown by a beautiful woman.

 

[polonium]

They absolutely all know, they definitely talk about it when you're not around.
The conversation went something like this:
"I caught little Derka Derka Junior masturbating the other day"
"By Allah's Beard! Why do we have all these beautiful goats around if he's just going to use his hand! I'll have a talk with him"
"No need dear I already did. Don't embarass him'
'You're probably right. They grow up so fast, don't they? It'll be time for his first bomb vest soon"

 

[T_Holygrail_Jesuschrist 2]

i have never been caught masterbating.

 

[Indian J.C denton]

They absolutely all know, they definitely talk about it when you're not around.
The conversation went something like this:
"I caught little Derka Derka Junior masturbating the other day"
"By Allah's Beard! Why do we have all these beautiful goats around if he's just going to use his hand! I'll have a talk with him"
"No need dear I already did. Don't embarass him'
'You're probably right. They grow up so fast, don't they? It'll be time for his first bomb vest soon"

Makes it even more weird that i was jacking it to furry porn although i am not into furry shit anymore