So, let's say Chris does move out... -

[Ryan Rash]

The latest posts from the spy in OPL's facebook have shown that he is nearing his wits' end when it comes to being cooped up with Snorlax, and talks of moving out are becoming more and more prevalent in his facebook.

So, let us imagine that Chris finally says "enough is enough", packs however many video games he can into a suitcase, and moves out.

How likely would Chris be to find a new home, either a place to rent or own, or someone to take him in?

Will he just end up homeless and sucking cock for Big Macs?

Will he run home to mommy when it turns out living on one's own isn't all it's cracked up to be?

 

[Marvin]

He'd go to Rocky and she'd probably find him a dinky apartment he could afford. Maybe help him transfer his checks and whatnot to his new address. Really, he'd lean on Rocky pretty seriously.

If Chris pulled this off, I'd be more interested in Barb's reaction. I bet she'd destroy his ps3 or something before he could rescue it. (assuming he doesn't stuff it in his suitcase with his clothes, that is)

Edit: Oh man, she'd probably say something like "chrischunnn, yer killin yer mother~~~ "

 

[Kosher Dill]

(assuming he doesn't stuff it in his suitcase with his clothes, that is)

Pft, are you kidding? He'd pack it in before he ever thought of packing clothes. He'd throw clothes out of the suitcase to fit more PS3s.

I'd like to think he wouldn't be dumb enough to just up and leave without having a place to go... but anything's possible

 

[Mama Luigi]

He'll try to leave, but it will all end when mummy starts crying.

 

[Marvin]

(assuming he doesn't stuff it in his suitcase with his clothes, that is)

Pft, are you kidding? He'd pack it in before he ever thought of packing clothes. He'd throw clothes out of the suitcase to fit more PS3s.

Haha, that is true.

I'd like to think he wouldn't be dumb enough to just up and leave without having a place to go... but anything's possible

Heh, well, I doubt he'd have the balls to leave the parental nest on his own in the first place. I'm sure it'd have to come from some sort of monster fight between the two of them. I always thought Barb knew better than to fuck with Chris' video games, but I was proven wrong. I'm just waiting to see what happens next...

 

[GFYS]

Heh, well, I doubt he'd have the balls to leave the parental nest on his own in the first place. I'm sure it'd have to come from some sort of monster fight between the two of them. I always thought Barb knew better than to fuck with Chris' video games, but I was proven wrong. I'm just waiting to see what happens next...

Barb clearly has her own mess of mental problems, and a monster persecution complex, which I can see contributing to her throwing him out just for her to bellyache "woe is me" to herself. Their entire miserable lot in life is a culmination of them forcibly perpetuating an unhealthy and unsustainable lifestyle, for some insane reason or another (personally, I think it's a combination of spite and stupidity).

I was actually just thinking how crazy it would be to read Barb's comic, where she presents the world from the perspective of her own skewed inner narrative. She'd be this wonderful saintly mother, giving birth to a balding snake and a hapless cherub, while the world conspires to hold her and her baby down. And there would be lots and lots of ranch dressing.

 

[Descent]

Do you think Chris would ever "run away" and try to stay with Rocky for a few days weeks months?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Isn't Rocky married? I would think even if she was insane enough to invite Chris in (which I doubt - even she has a functioning nose), her husband wouldn't go along with such a thing.

 

[Marvin]

Isn't Rocky married? I would think even if she was insane enough to invite Chris in (which I doubt - even she has a functioning nose), her husband wouldn't go along with such a thing.

This. I wouldn't even think she'd do it if she was single. Rocky will work her ass off to help Chris out of (his earned) tight spots by calling in favors on other people, but I doubt she'd want Chris invading her actual space.

 

[Stratochu]

He would probably be living in the Aerostar at McEntire Park, assuming that Rocky wouldn't help him.

 

[GFYS]

If someone isn't making the important decisions for Chris, then nothing important is happening.

Chris running away would be like a 5 year old kid running away, because he doesn't want to sit in time out. He'll pack a bag of Cheereos in his purse, along with his electronics, and get about 3 blocks away before his tantrum wears off or reality kills him. Even during June in Virginia, it's quite possible to die from exposure at night - especially when you have the mental faculties and life experiences of a toddler. At least we know the fat fuck won't die of starvation. It's the millions of other things that'll probably get Chris.

If someone with some damn sense were to intervene, he could get set up with a small rent-controlled studio apartment, with utilities included. Many such properties get a government subsidy to house - and manage other expenses for - mentally challenged or socially disadvantaged people like Chris. Maybe they can set up an escrow account that is automatically funded by his SSDI, which handles his rent. I can see Rocky asking someone from their congregation to help out. It would be trivial to a various legal, administrative, or real estate professionals. I guess a big question is, would/can Chris pursue such help?

Another big question is, how far would Barb go to stop him? As I stated earlier, Barb is all kinds of fucked up. Who knows what extremes she's capable or reaching? I genuinely would have no difficulty believing Barb capable of earnestly threatening to harm herself or Chris. I think a half-ass suicide attempt might be enough to wrangle Chris in.

 

[Male]

If Chris leaves what'll happen to the dogs?

 

[introman]

I can see Chris living in an assisted living facility. It's pretty much a dorm room for disabled people. Rocky would probably pull some strings to get Chris in to a program like that. He would be paying like 200 a month for rent and keep the rest of his tugboat to do as he pleases.

Section 8 housing might be an option as well. Chris gets to live in suburbia sponsored by uncle sam. He's already on medicaid, SNAP, and SSDI. Section 8 would be the paint on his little tugboat.

 

[Some JERK]

finding an apartment is a fucking pain in the ass and takes a decent amount of effort. In Chris' case it would take even more effort since he's on a fixed income. He'd have to get someone like Rocky to help him, because there's no way in hell that he'd manage it by himself.

But i seriously doubt he's going to do that. I don't know how much of the tugboat goes towards the bills at 14 Branchland ct, but it's gotta be less than what an apartment+utilities+internet would cost.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

When I was really little I got so upset that I tried to run away. I shoved a bunch of clothes and action figures into my backpack. No food or water because I was used to those things magically appearing whenever I needed them so I never stopped to think about it. I went into epic ninja mode and snuck out the front door when my parents weren't looking. 15 minutes later they found me a block away, crying in the corner of a park bathroom which was right next to my school.

So yeah, that's what I think would happen to Chris if he tried to move out. He'd probably pack more action figures than the six year old version of me though.

 

[OR 345]

If he DID get a place, he'd have to keep going back to get all of his toys. Barb would try to convince him to return, and he'd eventually cave, stress sigh, and move everything back. I don't think he could win.

 

[CatParty]

Chris does not like moving. That takes effort.

 

[Chaoslord]

Chris moving out is probably next to impossible without any additional assistance. Even if he did leave he'd dry up whatever is left of his meager funds in....I dunno.....a week?

 

[GFYS]

When I was really little I got so upset that I tried to run away. I shoved a bunch of clothes and action figures into my backpack. No food or water because I was used to those things magically appearing whenever I needed them so I never stopped to think about it. I went into epic ninja mode and snuck out the front door when my parents weren't looking. 15 minutes later they found me a block away, crying in the corner of a park bathroom which was right next to my school.

So yeah, that's what I think would happen to Chris if he tried to move out. He'd probably pack more action figures than the six year old version of me though.

You had the benefit of someone caring enough and/or able to look for you. Who would look for Chris? His best bet would be if Barb called the police on him out of spite, and said he committed a crime, because there's no way they're going to issue an Amber alert for a 31 year old man. I think the only other people who care enough about his well being (general well-wishers, his congregation, and members of this forum) wouldn't find out about him going missing until he were already dead from exposure, or couldn't tear themselves away from fellating 10 bottles of ranch dressing long enough to do anything about him not responding to your screams for a few hours (Barb).

I can't speak for Greene County, but around Norfolk there are a number of small rent-controlled apartments that offer inexpensive zero-maintenance living for folks on SSDI, people living below the poverty threshold, mildly disabled, and/or rehabilitated criminals. Their rent covers all utilities and maintenance, and it's easy to set up automatic payments from a checking account or an automatic escrow funded by a fixed income source or annuity. These are people who need help maintaining a place to live, but can still function day-to-day without a caregiver. Many other metropolitan areas have such housing projects. Most are reasonably nice, if very spartan. Unfortunately, a number are slums, mismanaged by scumbags seeking to scam the government for subsidies or rip off residents. But, they are out there... One of my clients assists employees in finding such housing near their facility, and they've all turned out pretty OK-ish, for the short term (like 2 years).

It's wouldn't be impossible for Chris to find accommodations, if only Chris' own stupidity or obstinance didn't make it impossible.

 

[Sweet and Savoury]

Barb is the last rock Chris has left in his life.

He's not going anywhere no matter what.