Kiwi Farms

‘What your campaign is doing is so incredibly damaging. There is no excuse for you to have this campaign up.'

‘Society viewing fatness as a negative thing is a thing that kills more than the cancer that you MIGHT get due to MAYBE something to do with you POSSIBLY weighing MORE than a CERTAIN weight POSSIBLY MAYBE.’

‘Your campaign is so damaging and fatshaming and I really hope it gets taken down.’

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In the same week both @LushLtd and @CR_UK contributed to fatshaming in the UK. Thanks for making the world shittier, you filthy cunts.

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Any centre of any city on any Friday or Saturday night has the same vibe. It’s as if there has been a fire at the prick factory and everyone has escaped. I always try to stay away. If I have a standup gig in central London, I leave immediately after the show and get back to my safe bed as soon as I possibly can. Alcohol brings out the worst in some people – and no one has ever drunkenly told me something I really needed to hear.

This happened on a recent Saturday. I had rushed out of a gig and got the tube to Kennington, south London, where I was waiting for my bus. I’d forgotten my headphones so I was hyper-aware of all the drunk people walking the streets, getting on the tube, going into the city centre to seek shelter in nightclubs where the music, fortunately, is so loud that no one can hear them speak, which means they never have to develop personalities.

I saw four young men approach. I was not surprised when they spoke – I expected it. “Oi, you fat cunt!” one of them said. “Oink oink,” said another. The rest is a blur because I focused on whatever was on my phone. It hurt, of course. As it would have hurt anyone.

Not having any idea what to do, I put it on Facebook, sharing it with my friends and followers. I just needed to do with that experience what I usually do when I do standup – take ownership of it and express myself. It felt a bit better.

I woke up the next day to see my post had been shared thousands of times. It was even in newspapers and on blogs. “Danish Comedian Sofie Hagen Says: They Shouted Abuse At Me” and “Men Shout At Danish Comedian – What Happens Next Will Shock You” and other such clickbaity headlines. People had posted such comments as, “I am really sorry that happened to you,” and “Those guys were massive pricks.”

It stopped hurting. The hurt immediately disappeared. And all I was left with was anger.

This is not a once-in-a-lifetime thing. This happens on a daily basis to hundreds of thousands of fat people everywhere. This is happening now, perhaps at this very moment, to a 14-year-old girl who has yet to realise that her body’s worth is not dependent on what the media tells her it is. It is happening to children. It will happen again. Maybe tonight when I am walking home from a gig.
This will happen online – some people will even be inclined to write it in response to this very article. People will tell me to stop promoting obesity and to just lose weight. People will tweet at me without having read the article and pretend that they are worried about my health. Some will even tell me I am making it up. Some fat people will say they have never experienced anything like that.
This will happen on TV, in movies and on the radio. As I am writing this, my fat friend told me that last week she was hit on the head with a kebab – and yes, that is a really funny sentence – I am but human, and “kebab” is a funny word and that is a funny image. It is, however, unforgivable.

It has always happened and it will continue to happen. But now it’s different. I no longer feel good when people pity or comfort me afterwards. I do not need people’s kind words. I need their fury. I need them to be angry with me. I need them to act.

I need everyone to realise the repercussions of making “fat” mean lazy, stupid, unattractive and unhealthy. Fat is not necessarily unhealthy, and skinny is not necessarily healthy. I need people to stop saying “You are not fat, you are beautiful,” as though they are mutually exclusive. I need people to feel angry – not at these four idiots at Kennington station – but at the society that created them.
I need people to demand change. Tweet companies who use fatphobia to promote their products, email TV shows portraying fat women as sexless, evil or motherly and goofy. Call out your friends, family and teachers.

If you won’t then OK. But keep your pity to yourself. I am a healthy, beautiful, intelligent, active and creative fat woman. I’m doing what I love for a living. I have friends and family who love me. I am good. I am no longer sad. I am just angry, and I wish you were too.

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Dieting is so boring. The last time someone told me about their diet, I smiled as I was slowly walking backwards till I could barely see their pouty little face any more. I am not listening to it any more. It is triggering to people with eating disorders, it is a dreadful type of conformity and it is neither feminist – nor healthy. What you are telling me, when you tell me you are on a diet, is: I am trying to look less like you. I am buying into society’s notion that I should be smaller in order to have more worth and beauty. Boring.

I am not here for that. I am already too far down the path of radical self-love. I post photos of my fat stomach on Instagram. I preach fat liberation, fat acceptance, fat positivity to anyone who will listen. I have the throwing-up emoji ready for anyone who says: “But what about your health?” Because shut up. Because you cannot look at someone and determine how healthy they are. No, you cannot. No, Google it. No, read a book. No, get out of the comments and into a library. No, stop arguing with strangers on websites.

You cannot look at someone and determine how healthy they are. On top of that, even if you could, people are allowed to be unhealthy. People have autonomy. Other people’s bodies are none of your business. We can also talk about mental health. How unhealthy it is to someone’s psyche to be stigmatised and bullied. Do you really want me to send you fun articles called things like “Weight-stigma kills”?

So, if you were telling yourself that you wanted to lose weight because of health issues, I have got great news for you. It can actually be unhealthy to diet. There. Go eat a burger and delete the “before” photo on Instagram.

I understand why you want to be proud of your weight loss. Shedding weight was a thing I attempted to do from the age of eight to the age of 22. I read diet books more carefully than I ever read a book for school; proudly saying “no” to going out because I was “watching my weight”. Oh, and when those kilos started dropping, oh my, I felt like a winner. Like I was one step closer to that dream body. I put the photo I hated the most of myself up on the fridge to discourage myself from eating anything at all.

When people show off a weight loss, part of me thinks “bitch, please” – because in my lifetime I have probably lost more weight than anyone can imagine. I bet I have lost the Titanic in weight. Sure, I have gained it all back again. I’m not alone – 95% of people who lose weight, gain it back.
And two-thirds of dieters end up weighing more than they did before they started losing weight.
Which means, statistically, this is it. Statistically, you will spend this January miserable and hungry and by March, you’ll be fatter than you were on New Year’s Eve.

“As long as you are below your initial weight, your body is going to try to get you back,” says Dr Michael Schwartz, an obesity and diabetes researcher who is a professor of medicine at the University of Washington in this New York Times article. It is called yo-yo dieting and it is neither healthy nor safe to do. So have a burger. If you want to be truly healthy, stop thinking in kilos and circumference. Think about what will nurture your body – and mind. I am not overly worried about physical health. Yours or mine. I am as much a “strain on the NHS” as those of you living to be 115 years old because you have only eaten kale. I would rather die at 40 and have been even mildly amusing to be around than die at 115 and not have had friends since I was 30 because all I could talk about was CrossFit.

But I am very much into mental health. Oh, sweet, sweet mental health. Here is why it is my favourite: it is free. And that is why no one is telling you to do it. Why would the women’s magazines tell you to speak kindly to yourself? Then you would not need the women’s magazines to tell you how to become prettier and better. Why would television tell you that you should believe you are good enough? Then you are not going to watch the TV shows that make you feel bad about yourself. Capitalism made you feel horrible about yourself. So do not trust capitalism to get you out of it. This includes women’s magazines and the entire diet culture.

This is probably the body you have and will have forever. And it is good enough.
Instead of dieting this January or this year, or even this lifetime, do this: get in front of a mirror, naked. Look at yourself. Accept that this is how you look today. You deserve to think you are hot shit today. Cuddle yourself. Touch your stomach. Give yourself daily affirmations. You know, the ones you would hear on the Oprah Show. American fluffy stuff like: “I am worthy. I am beautiful. I deserve good things. Sofie Hagen is always right about everything. My hair is pretty.”

Then eat what you want. And do all the things you wanted to do once you’d lost weight. Because this is it and you can do all of those things now. Promise yourself a nice 2018 without restrictions and punishments – and with a bunch of radical self-love instead. I think you deserve that.

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If people really cared about fat people’s health, why would they use shame, ridicule, abuse and fear to make them change their ways? Those are not things that make people want to take care of themselves. Those are making fat people feel unwell.

So hey, hate fat people. But admit that you hate fat people. That whole ‘It is unhealthy’ speech is embarrassing and it’s getting old now. You don’t want us to be healthy, you want us to hate ourselves. Because you hate us. Own up to your bigotry.

And do not even try me with the ‘but the NHS has to pay for’ bullshit because you know who else you have to pay for through your taxes? People who live to be fucking 95 years old because they’ve lived on kale and misery all their lives.

Stop wrapping your fat hate in ‘pretending to care about our health’. Fuck off. Ever considered mental health? Why is that less important? What does shaming, bullying and harrassment do to a person? To children?

Oh, and do not think I am talking about my own mental health right now. I am not reading your tweets or comments because your opinions mean less to me than you probably did to your parents. I am talking about the fat people you people hate - and thus hurt.

If you genuinely think you care about the health of fat people, fine. Has centuries of shaming, bullying and scaring fat people made us lose weight? Or are there more fat people than ever?

And I am not buying into fat being unhealthy - it’s not inherently unhealthy and even if it was, fat people can do whatever the fuck they want with their health - but if I did pretend to accept that, your arguments are still fucked up. You just hate fat people.

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