Songs rewritten to be about lolcows -

[Mondo Zappa]

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head and wondered if you could make it about a lolcow or the forum itself?

No?

Is... Is that weird? Am... Am I...?

Anyway, this has kind of been an occasional thing in chat, so why not make a thread about it? Take any song and rework some lyrics to make it about either the forum, a forum member, or a lolcow.

Example:

I met her in a club down in old SoHo where ya drink champagne and it tastes just like jizz and Fanta. F-A-N-T-A Fanta.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance, I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Rika. R-I-K-A Rika. Wait, no, Liz Davis. L-I-Z-D-A-V-I-S Liz Davis. No wait LOLZ IM JUST TROLLING YOU. No wait I'm Liz Davis again. No I'm not.

 

[hm yeah]

i wear my sun glasses at night so i can so i can

(lazy eye stuff goes here)

later

 

[FramerGirl420]

New project for when am not drunk. Which is not right now.

 

[_blank_]

I got an easy one for you - you won't even need to rewrite the chorus except change the "Mmm" to "Hmm"

Other than that, change Austin to Chris, and Pitbull to either Sonichu or one of his FB asspatters.

 

[hm yeah]

I got an easy one for you - you won't even need to rewrite the chorus except change the "Mmm" to "Hmm"

Other than that, change Austin to Chris, and Pitbull to either Sonichu or one of his FB asspatters.

the altered song would be about me

 

[_blank_]

the altered song would be about me

*pauses, looks at username*

*looks at original post*

*back to username*

Hmm, yeah.

*awkwardly backs out of the room*

 

[cypocraphy]

Everyday is like Spergday...

Everyday is autistic and gay...

 

[Dork Of Ages]

This thing came from Skyrim. It's about Commander Stryker and his happy place: Deagle Nation.

Age of Trolling

We blaze to our soldiers, for the days come and gone.
For the age of trolling is just about done.
We'll drive out Al-Gamerfood and restore what we own.
With our blood and our steel we'll take back our home.

Down with Tyce! The Marine Trained Teen!
On the day of your death we will game and we'll chill.
We're the soldiers of Deagle, and we fight all our lives.
And when Jack Stryker beckons, every one of us dies!
But this nation is ours and we'll see it whiped clean
Of the terrors that have sullied our hopes and our dreams

Down with Tyce! The Marine Trained Teen!
On the day of your death we will game and we'll chill.
We're the soldiers of Deagle, and we fight all our lives.
And when Jack Stryker beckons, every one of us dies!

We blaze to our soldiers, for the days come and gone.
For the age of trolling is just about done.

 

[telegramsamo]

China, my china
I've wandered the mall and it's not here
And I guess I should be stressed out
My walls have enclosed me
Have kept me alone for thousands of tears
But there's something I should tell you
All the young boys are dressing like tomgirls
I am a man who has
Squandered his whole life away
There is hardly a raised eyebrow
The pickleman told me,
This kind of thing happens every day
You see, behind a controller, the world is so tiny

 

[silvana-sama]

i have a song that's perfect exactly how it is more or less

so i don't know where to put it

 

[ASoulMan]

I'd do a Let it Go parody but it's been done to death.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Holiday in Cambodia would actually be the perfect theme for Social Justice Warriors.

 

[Queen of Tarts]

Pixyteri, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I come home in the Nippon light
My mother says when you gonna wash your ass right
Oh mother dear I'm Japanese so don't shun
And my shining has just begun
Oh my shining has just begun

The phone rings in the middle of the night
My father yells why you say I'm not really white??
Oh daddy dear you know you're yellow like sun
But my shining has just begun
I won't wash my Sakura buns

That's all they really want
Nippon!
When the Home Depot is done
My shining has just begun
Don't make me wash my stank cuuuuunt

 

[House Of Reeves]

I shouldn't be posting here, as I've been drinking, but here goes:

As the scabies fly,
On a cold and grey CWCville mornin',
Chris craps his pants and Barb is boring,
in the ghetto...
In the ghetto...

And his mama cries
'Cause if there's one thing she don't need
is a tomgirl son who is going to be seen
in the ghetto...
In the ghetto...

People, don't you understand
manchild needs a helping hand
cause he's already an angry old man today.
Take a look at you and me,
are we too blind to see,
do we simply turn our heads
and spam him with JULAY

Well his house burned
And a fat old man in greasy clothes
plays in his rental house with his Legos
in the ghetto...
In the ghetto...

And his hunger burns
So he goes to McDonalds for food everyday
and he gets mad online at people calling him gay
in the ghetto...
In the ghetto...

Then one night in desperation,
the lolcow goes insane
He buys a hooker, and steals a game
he tries to run, but can't escape his fame
And his mama cries

As trolls gather round to throw q-sands
Chris is down on the ground with his hand in his pants
in the ghetto...
In the ghetto...

And as her little man cries,
on a cold and grey CWCville mornin'
Barb bitches about all the porn
in the ghetto...

I feel so ashamed.

 

[cypocraphy]

"Dig For Patti" to the tune of "Dig For Fire" by The Pixies.

There's this sperg tranny
he lives in a horde
you can often find him raging on some message board
and I often ask him
"are you lookin' for Bob's clothes"?
huh?
NO
"No, you troll..I'm not that batty"
and then he said...

"I'm diggin' for patti"

I tried. Don't judge me, dammit.

 

[kagayaki]

“J.U.L.A.Y.” to the tune of “D.I.S.C.O.” by Ottawan:

J.U.L.A.Y. (3×)
He is Julay'd

He is J - Jackass pervy!
He is U - Unpleasant!
He is L - Lunatic!
He is A - Autistic!
He is Y - Why? Why!?

He is J - Jerkop-hating!
He is U - Uncaring!
He is L - Lazy crazy!
He is A - Abnormal!
He is Y - Why? Why!?

 

[TrippinKahlua]

We did this to lolcows when I was at retard academy.

Most fun we had with was making parodies to "Grandfathers Clock" and "Little Bunny Foo-Foo"

 

[Trombonista]

I want to rewrite "All About That Bass" to be about MylarBalloonFan.

I'll call it "All About Them Bratz".

 

[Randall Fragg]

This song:

Rewritten to be about Tyce and his goons...

T-Zones belong to the Kiwi's best know thugs
Here comes the 4-wheel drive minivan
Got yer hot wheels, skeletons, and Mountain Dew
We couldn't find a chick to sit in the middle
So we drink ourselves sick
Lean out the windows and puke on the highway

We are the Goons of Springfield
We're flying off your Livestream
We run down bikes and hitch hikers
'Cause we know we'll get off scot-free

We're the vigilante heroes of the tough-guy crowd,
Shooting punks and rags and fags
With our Airsoft guns,
No islams to blow away in the woods today,
So we go to Roslindale and shoot a black guy down,
Or waste outsiders 'round Springfield instead

We are the Goons of Springfield
We're flying off your livestream
We leave you in a pool of blood
'Cause we know we'll get off scot-free

Get 'em!

C'mere
C'mere-
Say something to me?

We've got him cornered
We've got him cornered
Is anybody looking?
Is anybody, looking?
No

Tyceeeed

The local papers paint us up to be big heroes
The local Chambers of Commerce want to make a few ties
We're the stoner Militia keepin' your town clean
Get a shitty paying job as a strikebreaker
Maybe huff some Jenk and get shot by the B.P.D.

We are the Goons of Springfield
We're flying off your livestream
We leave you in a pool of blood
'Cause we always get off scot-free.

 

[Arctic]

Somebody did a complete rewrite of Pretty Fly for a White Guy on DeviantArt about Chris, it's pretty hilarious.