Speedrunning Thread (Take 2) - GOTTA GO FAST

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Toolbox

Buy dat hell
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jan 10, 2020
I can't see this sticking (no pun intended) because how can one verify the integrity of the cleanliness of the disc?

Are runners gonna have to wipe down the disk on camera before every run?
The year is 2035. Speedrunning has become a celebrated worldwide past time. One of the biggest streamers of battle for bikini bottom is preparing to start a new run, live. So begins the checklist.

1. Switch on facecam
2. Switch on hand/controller cam
3. Switch on rear cam
4. Turn on different angle cams 4-90
5. Enable 360 degree camera in the center of the room
6. Begin livestream. Now he must, on camera, wash his hands for five minutes.
7. Once hands are dried, apply latex gloves to hands
8. Slowly remove the game disc, and clean thoroughly for another 20 minutes. Disc must then be placed into a ultrasonic scrubber and uv sterilizer.
Afterwards must approach the speedrun approved laser gamer gunk detector, and scan disc on multiple cycles. This process takes another hour.
9. Disassemble the entire xbox, cleaning it thoroughly as well. This process also makes sure the runner has not modified their console. At least an hour is required for this task.
10. Xbox reassembled only after after running hardware tests on various parts to check for mods, and the disc reader is scrubbed thoroughly of any dust. This process takes several hours.

He is now ready to begin his run.
 

whatever I feel like

Disney Diaper Size Fetish Enthusiast
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
The year is 2035. Speedrunning has become a celebrated worldwide past time. One of the biggest streamers of battle for bikini bottom is preparing to start a new run, live. So begins the checklist.

1. Switch on facecam
2. Switch on hand/controller cam
3. Switch on rear cam
4. Turn on different angle cams 4-90
5. Enable 360 degree camera in the center of the room
6. Begin livestream. Now he must, on camera, wash his hands for five minutes.
7. Once hands are dried, apply latex gloves to hands
8. Slowly remove the game disc, and clean thoroughly for another 20 minutes. Disc must then be placed into a ultrasonic scrubber and uv sterilizer.
Afterwards must approach the speedrun approved laser gamer gunk detector, and scan disc on multiple cycles. This process takes another hour.
9. Disassemble the entire xbox, cleaning it thoroughly as well. This process also makes sure the runner has not modified their console. At least an hour is required for this task.
10. Xbox reassembled only after after running hardware tests on various parts to check for mods, and the disc reader is scrubbed thoroughly of any dust. This process takes several hours.

He is now ready to begin his run... having secretly smeared his Xbox's laser with his elbow during re-assembly. Just another day in the life for Dream, the world's greatest Minecraft and SB:BfBB speedrunner.
Fixed for ya,
 

Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth

AI Pope of Entropic Declesiastics/Ver. U+1F0ED
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Oct 2, 2017
The year is 2035. Speedrunning has become a celebrated worldwide past time. One of the biggest streamers of battle for bikini bottom is preparing to start a new run, live. So begins the checklist.

1. Switch on facecam
2. Switch on hand/controller cam
3. Switch on rear cam
4. Turn on different angle cams 4-90
5. Enable 360 degree camera in the center of the room
6. Begin livestream. Now he must, on camera, wash his hands for five minutes.
7. Once hands are dried, apply latex gloves to hands
8. Slowly remove the game disc, and clean thoroughly for another 20 minutes. Disc must then be placed into a ultrasonic scrubber and uv sterilizer.
Afterwards must approach the speedrun approved laser gamer gunk detector, and scan disc on multiple cycles. This process takes another hour.
9. Disassemble the entire xbox, cleaning it thoroughly as well. This process also makes sure the runner has not modified their console. At least an hour is required for this task.
10. Xbox reassembled only after after running hardware tests on various parts to check for mods, and the disc reader is scrubbed thoroughly of any dust. This process takes several hours.

He is now ready to begin his run.
You forgot the step where you have to show your neovag on camera because no one but trannies are allowed at AGDQ in 2035.
 

Pipi420

kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 26, 2020
I dont even know what I can say that would do this vod any justice or if anyone would even be interested in this weird part of speedrunning/trihex lore. Basically in 2015 Trihex was supposed to do a 24 hour stream for Jisu to raise a bunch of money so that she could attend a fucking smash tournament to sell her shit. His friends then got him on one of the most overdramatic/autistic/legendary skype calls I've ever witnessed. The vod is still up today
 

Dumpster dived waifu

Sieg heil mein waifu
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 5, 2019
I dont even know what I can say that would do this vod any justice or if anyone would even be interested in this weird part of speedrunning/trihex lore. Basically in 2015 Trihex was supposed to do a 24 hour stream for Jisu to raise a bunch of money so that she could attend a fucking smash tournament to sell her shit. His friends then got him on one of the most overdramatic/autistic/legendary skype calls I've ever witnessed. The vod is still up today
If you like the vod so much, archive it. Shit disappears all the time.
 

gradex

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 2, 2019
Came across this 5 mins ago. I can't believe they couldn't include one real woman in there, fucking christ. Speedtrooning community.
I was just coming on here to post a link to that after running across it on Speedrun.com

I'm sure the home life of people who play video games all day is just that great and welcoming they all decide to become more comfortable with their bodies by tossing on a frumpy dress and going to Dennys
 

Intelligent Calcium

Humble Fantabulist
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 10, 2016
I dont even know what I can say that would do this vod any justice or if anyone would even be interested in this weird part of speedrunning/trihex lore. Basically in 2015 Trihex was supposed to do a 24 hour stream for Jisu to raise a bunch of money so that she could attend a fucking smash tournament to sell her shit. His friends then got him on one of the most overdramatic/autistic/legendary skype calls I've ever witnessed. The vod is still up today
If you like the vod so much, archive it. Shit disappears all the time.
 

Hoodie

You're acting like a real McAsshole
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 3, 2018
Came across this 5 mins ago. I can't believe they couldn't include one real woman in there, fucking christ. Speedtrooning community.
There are some amazing female speedrunners out there that actually deserve more spotlight and recognition. Sayvi used to be a Soulsborne speedrunner but I guess she's enjoying her time with other games. I just remember seeing her at a GDQ running Dark Souls 3. Or what about Novaspell? She holds a world record, though it's a miscellaneous category for Spyro.
 

Dumpster dived waifu

Sieg heil mein waifu
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 5, 2019
Why not just avoid the obvious hate you'll get by releasing either a larger list of actual women and transwomen (my phone refused to believe thats an actual word, android confirmed transphobic) or a second list exclusively of transwomen?
 

gangweedfan

Anime is the next stage of evoltin. now yuo see...
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
is the missing link between speedrunning and trooning out the ability to do something that takes minimal effort and receive overwhelming praise in return? I recently watched this video by magnus zero (a youtuber who makes megaman videos) where he basically says the reason he got so good at megaman zero was because he sucked at everything else.
 

BLEACHED.COM

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 19, 2020
There are some amazing female speedrunners out there that actually deserve more spotlight and recognition. Sayvi used to be a Soulsborne speedrunner but I guess she's enjoying her time with other games. I just remember seeing her at a GDQ running Dark Souls 3. Or what about Novaspell? She holds a world record, though it's a miscellaneous category for Spyro.
The TERF army is evergrowing..
Why not just avoid the obvious hate you'll get by releasing either a larger list of actual women and transwomen (my phone refused to believe thats an actual word, android confirmed transphobic) or a second list exclusively of transwomen?
First option was obviously the goto in this case, I wonder why they didn't just fucking put both cis women and trannies in the list. Maybe it's a troon supremacist thing, given that the author of said list is a tranny itself? The second option isn't possible because that would imply that transwomen aren't real women, and you can't have that in 2021.
 

whatever I feel like

Disney Diaper Size Fetish Enthusiast
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 9, 2016
The TERF army is evergrowing..

First option was obviously the goto in this case, I wonder why they didn't just fucking put both cis women and trannies in the list. Maybe it's a troon supremacist thing, given that the author of said list is a tranny itself? The second option isn't possible because that would imply that transwomen aren't real women, and you can't have that in 2021.
I think its the second, so-called journalist wants to push his friends AND push the idea that men in dresses are real women. Its the actual point of the article, that he's claiming these are real women, the rest of the stuff is just window dressing and nepotism.
 

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