Star Trek -

TaimuRadiu

Kaiserin
kiwifarms.net
To those who bitch about Vulcanians being cunts in ENT: They ARE cunts. The major Vulcanian in the franchise is a haafa named Spock, who's about as much "Vulcan" as Worf is a "Klingon": an outsider, not someone in the mainstream.

This is what Vulcanians actually ARE: scheming knife eared bastards who manipulated Earthers into doing their dirty work for them while saying "muh logic muh logic." Muh logic bullshit, Sarek had a creepy Human fetish, there was a 2 parter in TNG where a Vulcanian was trying to get an incredibly deadly psionic weapon ("Gambit" is one of my favorite TNG two parters and was much better than any of the season finale cliffhangers except BOBW), and the Romulans were right to separate from Surak since the reign of Surak's philosophy caused Vulcan to stagnate - supposedly Warp drive was completely lost until whenever the Ferengi got it, some time after 1949. The FERENGI.

Honestly, an entire show about The Doctor could actually be really good. His episodes were some of the best in Voyager's run. Hell, his cameo in First Contact was probably the funniest part of the movie.
He was also in a good episode of DS9, in what's basically one of its two only "crossovers," of sorts, with VOY. (the second being the premiere episode of VOY where Quark tries to one of Trump's Chosen People Harry and he's saved by Tom)

The Dominion War is referenced a few times in VOY, once when the Doctor shows up on a Federation experimental warship for reasons and again when they re-establish contact with the Federation in the last half of the series

fake edit: god I love that wordfilter
 

Miller

You're gonna extract HIM?!
kiwifarms.net
This is what Vulcanians actually ARE: scheming knife eared bastards who manipulated Earthers into doing their dirty work for them while saying "muh logic muh logic."
1561678563014.png

I agree. Archer was right to not trust them. Despite having established the First Contact, they never helped Starfleet to reach for the stars. If I recall correctly, in the ENT episode First Flight, they suggested the higher-ups to abandon the NX program.
The funny thing about the Vulcans is that they act like they're better than everyone but the only emotion that most of them have not learn to supress is arrogance.
 

TaimuRadiu

Kaiserin
kiwifarms.net

I agree. Archer was right to not trust them. Despite having established the First Contact, they never helped Starfleet to reach for the stars. If I recall correctly, in the ENT episode First Flight, they suggested the higher-ups to abandon the NX program.
The funny thing about the Vulcans is that they act like they're better than everyone but the only emotion that most of them have not learn to supress is arrogance.
Let's not forget that the Vulcanians refused to intervene when World War 3 was going on. Learning that actually caused my boyfriend to have a bit of a melty.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Cyril Sneer

The Great Chandler

"Pickleless girls don't marry virgin boys"
kiwifarms.net
You really think this shit is going to have that happy an ending? Really?

After this fucking shit?!

I know I keep sperging about this bit but...fucking jesus I swear to god this clip was so fucking wretched it legit traumatised me, its like if in TLJ you had a five minute scene of luke skywalker whacking off on the cliffside to loli hentai while mariachi music plays, and then halfway through he stops for a moment, looks at the camera, and just says "#ImWithHer" before resuming.
Tom Kenny's French narrator accent in Spongebob is much more convincing and funnier than this.
This is just...
 
Last edited:

werewolf rape erotica

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!
kiwifarms.net

I agree. Archer was right to not trust them. Despite having established the First Contact, they never helped Starfleet to reach for the stars. If I recall correctly, in the ENT episode First Flight, they suggested the higher-ups to abandon the NX program.
The funny thing about the Vulcans is that they act like they're better than everyone but the only emotion that most of them have not learn to supress is arrogance.
Over the course of the series it was revealed that Vulcans repeatedly stonewalled, obstructed, and borderline sabotaged Starfleet's Warp program.
So would the modern Federation. Goes against the Prime Directive.
...unless this week's plot demands otherwise.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Pixy Misa

ExceptionallyExceptional

I farted in my hazmat suit.
kiwifarms.net
You know what the single best thing about Star Trek: Enterprise was? This scene:

I never much got into Enterprise when it first came out, so I didn't see this episode when it first aired. How I eventually did see the episode was one day I was flipping through the stations on the TV and stumbled across this scene. I thought initially I had just caught the ending to the movie First Contact and decided to watch it because why not?
I was totally caught off guard when he whipped out the shotgun and yeeted the Vulcan.
 

XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
To those who bitch about Vulcanians being cunts in ENT: They ARE cunts. The major Vulcanian in the franchise is a haafa named Spock, who's about as much "Vulcan" as Worf is a "Klingon": an outsider, not someone in the mainstream.

This is what Vulcanians actually ARE: scheming knife eared bastards who manipulated Earthers into doing their dirty work for them while saying "muh logic muh logic." Muh logic bullshit, Sarek had a creepy Human fetish, there was a 2 parter in TNG where a Vulcanian was trying to get an incredibly deadly psionic weapon ("Gambit" is one of my favorite TNG two parters and was much better than any of the season finale cliffhangers except BOBW), and the Romulans were right to separate from Surak since the reign of Surak's philosophy caused Vulcan to stagnate - supposedly Warp drive was completely lost until whenever the Ferengi got it, some time after 1949. The FERENGI.



He was also in a good episode of DS9, in what's basically one of its two only "crossovers," of sorts, with VOY. (the second being the premiere episode of VOY where Quark tries to one of Trump's Chosen People Harry and he's saved by Tom)

The Dominion War is referenced a few times in VOY, once when the Doctor shows up on a Federation experimental warship for reasons and again when they re-establish contact with the Federation in the last half of the series

fake edit: god I love that wordfilter
seriously Vulcans are assholes
 

Pixy Misa

Your local evil magical girl.
kiwifarms.net
To those who bitch about Vulcanians being cunts in ENT: They ARE cunts. The major Vulcanian in the franchise is a haafa named Spock, who's about as much "Vulcan" as Worf is a "Klingon": an outsider, not someone in the mainstream.
seriously Vulcans are assholes

Also, let's not forget how Even Tuvok, who was textbook emotionless and laid back, once he stopped suppressing emotions, the first thing he did was go on a rant about how he could kill (erase?) The doctor, how Janeway was weak, and how all humans disgusted him:

 
Last edited:

XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
to be fair they address that idea a lot, that yeah Vulcans are colossal dickbags and that's even WITH the hoops they set up for themselves to jump through
iirc it's explicitly said that Vulcans DO feel and feel a shitton and it's only the adherence (such as it is) to logic and all that even keeps them anything less then genociding everybody around them
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
I know I keep sperging about this bit but...fucking jesus I swear to god this clip was so fucking wretched it legit traumatised me, its like if in TLJ you had a five minute scene of luke skywalker whacking off on the cliffside to loli hentai while mariachi music plays, and then halfway through he stops for a moment, looks at the camera, and just says "#ImWithHer" before resuming.
That would have actually been pretty good. I'd have watched that. It's the mariachi music. That would have really held the scene together.
 

Judge Holden

Corpsefucker
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Also, let's not forget how Even Tuvok, who was textbook emotionless and laid back, once he stopped suppressing emotions, the first thing he did was go on a rant about how he could kill (erase?) The doctor, how Janeway was weak, and how all humans disgusted him:

To be fair, he had spent every moment of his life aboard voyager tormented this fucking creature....
neel1.png


...so he can be forgiven for quietly wanting to murder absolutely everyone around him.

That being said, he was still less embarrasing than anything I have seen thus far in Picard and I shudder to think what that scumfraud kurtzman will do once he finds out how unpopular neelix is in the old fandom considering that whole ichaeb thing. Probably retcon him into a serial child rapist and have him skinned alive by the new female Q antihero-sue in the opening scene of Season 2
 
Last edited:

Judge Holden

Corpsefucker
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Also, Tuvok had Vulcan mind sex with psychic Brad Dourif earlier that episode. That would turn anybody into a psycho.
Compared to mandatory dinner with neelix, im guessing Tuvok only went crazy after realising being brain-raped by jack the ripper was objectively less painful than five minutes with neelix

Also slightly offtopic but I have just come to a horrifying realisation of pure hackfraud "MEMBA THIS? MEMBER THAT?" that will probably happen at some point in the next two seasons.....

They are totally gonna bring back fucking nu-Khan from the kelvin universe and have him take over the borg/fight the borg/create the borg.

It perfectly fits the mindless "THIS IS A THING NORMIES KNOW SO WE WILL PUT IT WITH OTHER THING NORMIES KNOW IN AN EBIC CWOSSOVER!" drivel these writers and showrunners shit out, and is also an ego stroking by kurtzman by bringing back *his* bendydick cummybatch khan and making him the real-true canon khan
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
kiwifarms.net
Compared to mandatory dinner with neelix, im guessing Tuvok only went crazy after realising being brain-raped by jack the ripper was objectively less painful than five minutes with neelix

Also slightly offtopic but I have just come to a horrifying realisation of pure hackfraud "MEMBA THIS? MEMBER THAT?" that will probably happen at some point in the next two seasons.....

They are totally gonna bring back fucking nu-Khan from the kelvin universe and have him take over the borg/fight the borg/create the borg.

It perfectly fits the mindless "THIS IS A THING NORMIES KNOW SO WE WILL PUT IT WITH OTHER THING NORMIES KNOW IN AN EBIC CWOSSOVER!" drivel these writers and showrunners shit out, and is also an ego stroking by kurtzman by bringing back *his* bendydick cummybatch khan and making him the real-true canon khan
There is a PARODY SHOW my buddy is working on a film of from a local theater that they did in tribute to star trek and - no joke - at one point in it Khan takes over the Borg.

So I give the odds of your guess at 100%.
 

Cyril Sneer

The Fuct of Pepsi-Man
kiwifarms.net
To sperg out just a little bit more about costume design and how that affects (consciously or unconsciously) how the audience perceives the characters, think of the Ghostbusters movies (the original and the atrocious 2016 reboot attempt).

In the original, the Ghostbusters are wearing mostly re-purposed military equipment. Ecto-Goggles, backpack frames, belts, boots, jumpsuits are all mil-surplus or the kind of commercially-manufactured tactical gear that you'd find in a surplus store (along with some interesting and mission-specific doodads like the Lifegard II PASS Alarm, a motion sensor intended for use by fireman which emits a very loud locator sound if the wearer falls unconscious).



We never actually see them buying/building any of this stuff, but to some extent, we don't really need to. The use of mil-surp should automatically communicate/reinforce several things to the audience, such as the fact that these guys are a start-up business, and don't have a huge amount of money to splurge on custom outfits/equipment, that ghost-busting is a physically-demanding job, rather than a clinical, laboratory-confined process (which creates an interesting contrast with the fact that three of the four Busters are disgraced, pencil-necked academics trying to survive and put their research to use out side of the university sphere of tenure and government grants, as Ray observes), and perhaps more subtly, that there is a combative element to what our heroes are doing, foreshadowing their eventual evolution from the paranormal equivalent of dog-catchers to full-on warriors for good against the forces of evil (also, military uniforms have been designed, to one extent or another, with looking "cool" as a factor in their creation since time immemorial, and the pilots' flightsuits that "the boys" wear consequently lend them a certain amount of understated, rough-and-ready flair and panache).

Now, compare that with...whatever's going on down here:



Setting aside the fact that none of the women above look even remotely comfortable in their roles in comparison with the men in the previous photo, what are they even wearing? Buttoned, beige, custom-made denim coveralls with orange safety stripes running all over everything? They look like a gaggle of hapless cleaning ladies who got mugged by an insanely aggressive OH&S officer, not a group of renegade, outcast scientists trying to monetize their research come hell or high water.

But In fairness I stopped watching Nu-BSG after a certain point. I don't remember exactly when I stopped watching, but at some point that show became the early 00's version of "Orange Man Bad" ("exceptional Texan Man Bad".) Even if you agree with that, (and to be honest, yeah... I kind of do, Dubyah was an exceptional individual.) "current day" politics is *always* anathema to Science-Fiction when you're explicit about it.
Not to (hopefully) run off on another tangent, but I think the best assessment of Dubyah that I've come across to date was that he seemed like the sort of man who would be happiest and at his most useful as a pastoral assistant to a small Baptist parish.

I think there's definitively a place for grim darkness.

The issue isn't that Grimdark is bad, But rather its the fact that it's not what people watch Star Trek for because that's not why it was made for. It's on it's very DNA to be optimistic. It's like going to a greasy fast food place for healthy food. Technically it's doable, and they might have a salad there, but you are better going somewhere dedicated to it instead of getting something even more third rate than their usual menu.
I've got a taste for grimdark myself. I'm a huge fan of 40K, and few things can get me going like a really hopeless, fight-to-the-death-because-FUCK-SURRENDER! last stand scene, but just like you wouldn't want to eat hamburgers every day for the rest of your life, I don't want all of the sci-fi I read/watch to be relentlessly bleak and desperate. It's nice to be able to switch gears from the Imperial Guard battling it out to the last man to buy Mankind time to survive another day, to Mon Capitan verbally sparring with Q or trying to resolve some dispute between mutually pig-headed (sometimes literally) aliens in diplomatic fashion, depending on one's mood at any given moment.

You actually don't need any baseball knowledge to get the episode, the point of which is mostly "Vulcans are supremacist cunts".
It's also hilarious when Sisko tells his team to do some baseball chatter and taunts and all Worf can come up with is "Death to the opposition!"
Now I want to see a Klingon baseball episode. 😂

thats always been my favorite part of Star Trek, the cast members obsession with 200-400 years ago stuff. I would love for a live-action series that takes place in the present have the cast all happen to love Renaissance bullshit. have an entire episode of them acting out living under Cromwell's government.

If we don't find out in A Quiet Place 2 that the monster's weakness is Mozart's Symphony 25, a la Beyond's ending. I'm going to be pissed
Shut up and take my money.

You know what always bugged me? How utterly cuntish Paramount was regarding fanworks. The rules they have for making Star Trek fan films and such are anal as fuck, more or less designed to ensure that nobody could ever actually make anything decent.
They outright have a 10 part list of shit you can and can't do. While 6-10 are reasonable legalistic shit, 1-5 contains some really cuntish shit. Like limiting your production to a total of 30 minutes, barring you from paying anybody involved in the production, barring you from using anybody who has ever so much as worked on a Star Trek series, and trying to force you to only use "commercially available" props and uniforms (meaning, the ones THEY make money on).

Not even the fandom can save this franchise. The people in charge made goddamn sure of that.
Which is all the more depressing, given the astonishing labor of love that people have put into productions like Axanar or Star Trek Continues for no recompense beyond the enjoyment of fellow fans...

From someone who isn't American, I've always thought of Star Trek as deeply American, but in the absolute best of ways.

A beautiful optimism untethered by the cynicism of history that's deeply embedded in Asian and European culture.

The America that wrote the Constitution, won WWII, and went to the Moon because, fuck you, it was the right thing to do. That moved the world forward by sheer force of will.

The characters were the Apollo astronauts. Highly qualified, competent, and professional. They were the best of us. The people we wished we could be.

But it never crossed the line into being jingoistic. There was always a feeling that the writers thought about the whole world, and the issues that face everyone. I never felt alienated, as a non-American.

For all that the rest of the world likes to shit on America, Star Trek represents what we love about you guys.

Nu-Trek is the exact opposite.
All I can say is...:achievement:

-Leeta is a dumber than average thot, and I never liked her. Especially in this episode.
There were only two reasons why Chase Masterson was on the show... ( . )( . )

-A sports match with no spectators? That reminds me of Wrestlemania this year. I guess DS9 called that decades early.
If I were on Sisko's team I would have programmed in a crowd of spectators...and programmed them to boo the Vulcans. 😉

-Why the fuck do Vulcans even care about a defunct Earth sport that literally nobody on Earth but one random captain cares about? Surprisingly, this episode answers that question. The Vulcan Captain, a Starfleet graduate, only cares because he wants to fuck with Sisko. He literally spent years teaching an entire team of Vulcans to play an obsolete Earthling game, on the off-chance that he ever found himself in a position where he would have a team to go up against a team of Sisko's which Kudos, that happened, and he even won.
The great thing about "Logic" as your guiding philosophy is that you justify literally anything with it (hence Spock's observation, in his later years, that "Logic is the beginning of Wisdom, not the end of it").

-Worf says "Find him and kill him." While trying to tag a cheater out. Right on man.
🤣

To those who bitch about Vulcanians being cunts in ENT: They ARE cunts. The major Vulcanian in the franchise is a haafa named Spock, who's about as much "Vulcan" as Worf is a "Klingon": an outsider, not someone in the mainstream.
I'm still pissed that the ENT writers went and wimped out because fanboys were butthurt that Muh Purfict Spehs Elfs weren't being shown in the best possible light, especially since, as noted in-thread, the evidence throughout the franchise is on the side of the Vulcans being dicks in general.

Spock's combative childhood relationship with his peers in the 2009 film might be the most (only?) true-to-canon thing to ever appear in NuTrek:



This is what Vulcanians actually ARE: scheming knife eared bastards who manipulated Earthers into doing their dirty work for them while saying "muh logic muh logic." Muh logic bullshit, Sarek had a creepy Human fetish, there was a 2 parter in TNG where a Vulcanian was trying to get an incredibly deadly psionic weapon ("Gambit" is one of my favorite TNG two parters and was much better than any of the season finale cliffhangers except BOBW), and the Romulans were right to separate from Surak since the reign of Surak's philosophy caused Vulcan to stagnate - supposedly Warp drive was completely lost until whenever the Ferengi got it, some time after 1949. The FERENGI.
Another example might be Lieutenant Chu'lak, who murdered three other Starfleet officers on DS9 with an experimental TTR-116 rifle, because they looked too happy and "Logic demanded it" (although, then again, Chu'lak was afflicted by severe PTSD due to being one of less than a dozen survivors of the 1,250-strong crew of the USS Grissom, recently destroyed in battle by the Dominion).


I agree. Archer was right to not trust them. Despite having established the First Contact, they never helped Starfleet to reach for the stars. If I recall correctly, in the ENT episode First Flight, they suggested the higher-ups to abandon the NX program.
The funny thing about the Vulcans is that they act like they're better than everyone but the only emotion that most of them have not learn to supress is arrogance.
To be totally fair, Ambassador Soval also candidly admits to Archer that Vulcans are scared shitless of Humans as a species because it took them only a few decades to bounce back from a global nuclear war where the Vulcans needed centuries to recover from their own atomic holocaust, and because they adapt, innovate and advance far faster than any other race in the history of the known universe, so far as the Vulcans are aware (but that certainly doesn't rule out jealously as a contributing factor to the Vulcan High Command's attempts to hold Starfleet back in the early days, either). It's like, over here, you've got one colony of ants who are smart and strong and long-lived, and then right next door you've got another colony who might not have so much strength or longevity but are just as smart if not smarter, reproduce at an insane rate and will take all kinds of wild and crazy risks simply because they can.
 
Last edited:

XYZpdq

fbi most wanted sskealeaton
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Now I want to see a Klingon baseball episode.
Worf gets some Klings into baseball as an honorable combat could be a good hook for a video game
Spock's combative childhood relationship with his peers in the 2009 film might be the most (only?) true-to-canon thing to ever appear in NuTrek:
ngl I had pretty big respect levels for FlareTrek when they busted that out
 
Tags
None