Star Trek -

Zemporer

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You know what's pretty awful?

Although I must admit I haven't read many of them, but the few official Star Trek novels I read were all glorified fanfiction, every one of them had clear self-inserts, this random lieutenant that wasn't on the show but is suspiciously friendly with the senior staff. Plus they have to have their favorite characters in all of their book. Data showed up in so many of these books, here's the catch; I DIDN'T READ A SINGLE TNG NOVEL.

Two of the very worst I've read for example, first the Voyager Relaunch novel. That deals with what happens when they got back. The TV show gave us nothing except fake closure. So finally get to see what happens!!


... Yeah well, awful garbage happens. Holograms trying to have a revolt, while Star Fleet intelligence goes lock down on all Voyager personnel. And a plot about the head of Star Fleet intelligence trying to turn herself into a new Borg Queen (Which was apparently abused/raped by her step father. You know, something that would make Gene spin in his grave. We find that thanks to random segment about "The hand" that feel so out of place in a Star Trek novel)

Of course they need Data's because of The Value of a Man. Oh and the author wrote "Picard's hazel eyes" ... HAZEL?

And then, this one really fucking broke my heart, but "A Stitch in Time" co-written by Andrew Robinson himself, Garak's memoires of his early days and time at the obsidian order. Sounds like the best thing you could ask for. But it was dry, so dry, and shows Garak too much like he was on the show and not as anything else. Plus has this whole tale about how he was hiding in the sand for some excersize and befriended some sand creature he called Mila. It was bad, it was dumb, it made the Obsidian order seem like a joke and I could never bring myself to finish it.

I think the only novel is vaguely enjoyed was huuh, Unity of Duty? I forget but it was about Rougal, that young Cardassian orphan that was raised by Bajorans until he's eventually reunited with his father and returned to Cardassia. It's cool because it basically shows the entirely of the events of the DS9 timeline but as seen from the perspective of the Cardassians. Rougal ends up being coerced into military service by Dukat (Because gotta shoehorn the cool chars) and does get out of the Dominion war alive, but certainly a changed man.

Anyone read anything decent?
For books, my tastes run to The Original Series, but I'd recommend reading The Kobayashi Maru by Julia Ecklar. It deals with members of the Enterprise's command crew stuck on a shuttlecraft retelling their version of the Kobayashi Maru test. Scotty's version of the test is great, and Kirk's fleshes out what we know from The Wrath of Khan. We also get Sulu and Chekov's versions as well.

Another is Prime Directive by Judith and Garfield Reeves Stevens. I remember enjoying this, but some serious shit happens in this book to the crew and the Enterprise itself that it’s hard to reconcile it with everyone just going on with their careers and lives after the story ends.

I guess the good and the bad with ST books is that there are so many to choose from.
 

werewolf rape erotica

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS!
kiwifarms.net
I found the Starfleet Corps of Engineers stories to be generally fun enough space adventures, but they feature Sonya Gomez, aka The Chick That Had Three Tits In Total Recall And Spilled Hot Chocolate On Picard, so that may trigger your concerns.
I also enjoyed Q Squared, sorta Q vs Trelane
For books, my tastes run to The Original Series, but I'd recommend reading The Kobayashi Maru by Julia Ecklar. It deals with members of the Enterprise's command crew stuck on a shuttlecraft retelling their version of the Kobayashi Maru test. Scotty's version of the test is great, and Kirk's fleshes out what we know from The Wrath of Khan. We also get Sulu and Chekov's versions as well.

Another is Prime Directive by Judith and Garfield Reeves Stevens. I remember enjoying this, but some serious shit happens in this book to the crew and the Enterprise itself that it’s hard to reconcile it with everyone just going on with their careers and lives after the story ends.
I second all of these recommendations, and I also recommend the Vanguard series of books. There's some dumb filler in them, but overall they're reasonably tightly written and it's obvious that the writers had the whole story arc outlined in detail before writing their prose.

edit: also, the Captain's Table series is pretty good.
 

Sir Wesley Tailpipe

kiwifarms.net
I went into the Shatnerverse as a teen knowing it'd be shit but at least entertaining, and I wasn't surprised. I went into it with the same feeling I had after reading TekWar.

You have read TekWar, haven't you Kiwis? Kids gotta learn about TekWar sooner or later.
Said the robot pimp, disdainfully.


As for Trek books, Prime Directive, by Judith and Gardfield Reeves-Stevens is really good. Not only does it tell what happened on the Enterprise’s last mission before the refit in The Motion Picture, it’s a scandalous and embarrassing enough fiasco the it’s entirely credible that it wouldn’t be spoken of publically, or referenced in anything that took place after, but still manages to be a satisfying story.
 
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ExceptionallyExceptional

I farted in my hazmat suit.
kiwifarms.net

ExceptionallyExceptional

I farted in my hazmat suit.
kiwifarms.net
Jeffrey Combs is a fine meatbag and I would feel very bad about killing him.
You could always replace 51% of his organic matter with cybernetics and declare him an honorary robot. He's not a man with machine parts, he's a machine with man parts! Then there's no need to murderstab him with the rest of us bipedal biochemical goop factories!
 

Flexo

Drunk posting normal. Beware sober posting.
kiwifarms.net
You could always replace 51% of his organic matter with cybernetics and declare him an honorary robot. He's not a man with machine parts, he's a machine with man parts! Then there's no need to murderstab him with the rest of us bipedal biochemical goop factories!
But I've seen his work and I'm nervous that he'll start bringing back to life all the humans we just killed.

Oh the other hand.... that could make for a fine theme park for the kids...
 

Uranus Pink

kiwifarms.net
But I've seen his work and I'm nervous that he'll start bringing back to life all the humans we just killed.

Oh the other hand.... that could make for a fine theme park for the kids...
As long Jeffery Combs and Bruce Campbell don't starred in a movie together we should be safe.
 
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