Star Wars Griefing Thread (Formerly about Last Jedi) - It's nothing like Empire... like.... at all, we promise

The Shadow

Talk to the Hand
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I think that's why they're so desperate to pull every dirty trick in the book to get the SW movie rights back from Turner, which currently holds the rights to broadcast the films exclusively on their networks.


Speaking of Frozen, sites are listing that Frozen II will be competing against IX as a potential rival, along with Jumanji 3, the new James Bond, the new Terminator, Wonder Woman 1984, Universal's Wicked and even Sonic the fucking Hedgehog. Kinda odd Disney would be releasing two of its biggest film IPs around the same time.
Will buy a ticket for Sanic if I decide to see IX in theaters then. That way I can support autism awareness while seeing a megacorporation turn the corpse of one of my old favorites into a dancing puppet.
 

Elwood P. Dowd

President of the Maxliam Fan Club.
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Speaking of Frozen, sites are listing that Frozen II will be competing against IX as a potential rival, along with Jumanji 3, the new James Bond, the new Terminator, Wonder Woman 1984, Universal's Wicked and even Sonic the fucking Hedgehog. Kinda odd Disney would be releasing two of its biggest film IPs around the same time.
Your information is out of date. The only real competition is Jumanji 3 and Cats. Meaning, probably not much.

Jumanji 3 release date 12/13/2019 but it is still being shot. I wonder if they'll be ready? And if it is ready if it will be rushed and awful?

Cats - 12/20/2019 - Only homos and middle aged cat ladies care about this exercise in enforced faggotry. One can only weep for TS Eliot. And avoid the combination of AIDS and rectal cancer by staying out of the multiplex.

As to the rest...

James Bond # Whatever is not releasing until well into 2020. April, apparently. Not competing directly with SW.

Wonder Woman 1984 - June 2020 release date, not competing w/SW directly.


Sanic - November 8 or November 15, 2019 - but who truly cares? - Look for this one to be Old Yellered out of theaters before TRoS releases, though 100 million spergs in China maybe save this the way they saved Ready Player One overall, this one had the bomb sewn into its clothing by that ISIS UK chick at least as far as US box office goes.

Wicked - 2021 release date? So, yeah.

Edit: The Terminator movie? Weird hadn't heard of it at all. Looks like an exercise in cringe, but even if it is good it is releasing November 1.
 
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GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Your information is out of date. The only real competition is Jumanji 3 and Cats. Meaning, probably not much.

Jumanji 3 release date 12/13/2019 but it is still being shot. I wonder if they'll be ready? And if it is ready if it will be rushed and awful?

Cats - 12/20/2019 - Only homos and middle aged cat ladies care about this exercise in enforced faggotry. One can only weep for TS Eliot. And avoid the combination of AIDS and rectal cancer by staying out of the multiplex.

As to the rest...

James Bond # Whatever is not releasing until well into 2020. April, apparently. Not competing directly with SW.

Wonder Woman 1984 - June 2020 release date, not competing w/SW directly.

Sanic - November 8 or November 15, 2019 - but who truly cares? - Look for this one to be Old Yellered out of theaters before TRoS releases, though 100 million spergs in China maybe save this the way they saved Ready Player One overall, this one had the bomb sewn into its clothing by that ISIS UK chick at least as far as US box office goes.

Wicked - 2021 release date? So, yeah.
That's what I get for quoting Forbes and Kotaku...
Frozen 2 is still set for late November though. That film is bound to make a killing.
 

Elwood P. Dowd

President of the Maxliam Fan Club.
kiwifarms.net
Frozen 2 is still set for late November though, which still puts it as a potential rival. That film is bound to make a killing.
Interesting. They kind of did the same thing in 2018 w/Mary Poppins and The Nutcracker. And neither movie did particularly well, with Nutcracker being an out and out bomb. Probably not analogous, given that both of these should do well. I guess Disney figures in 2019 with movies so weirdly front loaded they don't think it will matter that much. I mean, four weeks separate them.
 
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GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Interesting. They kind of did the same thing in 2018 w/Mary Poppins and The Nutcracker. And neither movie did particularly well, with Nutcracker being an out and out bomb. Probably not analogous, given that both of these should do well. I guess Disney figures in 2019 with movies so weirdly front loaded they don't think it will matter that much. I mean, four weeks separate them.
Wasn't there another Disney movie back in March 2018 that came out before Nutcracker that bombed terribly too? It was some fairy tail/time travel film that was marketed as being Disney's first film directed by a black woman with almost little mention of what its plot was about. Something "in Time"?
 
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The Shadow

Talk to the Hand
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RomanesEuntDomus

May contain nuts.
True & Honest Fan
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Wasn't there another Disney movie back in March 2018 that came out before Nutcracker that bombed terribly too? It was some fairy tail/time travel film that was marketed as being Disney first film directed by a black woman with almost little mention of what its plot was about. Something "in Time"?
A Wrinkle in Time. I don't even know the source material, but apparently, they went so overboard with being woke, they barely remembered to adapt the book the movie was based on...

The thing with Disney is that they always had a long lineage of shitty sequels, but nowadays, they don't make them straight to DVD, they push them into cinemas... or they try to sell the same movie over and over, after remaking them with a tiny, gimmicky twist that doesn't add anything to the story. Dumbo is the latest example. There's some lame b-plot about kids doing generic bland kids-in-a-Disney-cashgrab stuff, which to me looked like the directors caving in and admitting that there is nowhere to go with a remake of Dumbo, since there is literally nothing to change about the core story. So they introduce some foreign element in shape of a stupid family-focused storyline that has no reason to be in the movie outside of slightly altering it from the original.
 

Dr W

God Has Cursed Me For My Hubris
kiwifarms.net
That's what I get for quoting Forbes and Kotaku...
Frozen 2 is still set for late November though. That film is bound to make a killing.
No the big problem is that JJ is a hack, there was no respect for continuity, and there was no plan for a saga with a Ma-Rey Sue as the main character, killing any potential for character development and growth.
 

Plissken

Gunslinger, Outlaw, Escape artist.
kiwifarms.net
It doesn't really matter. Star Wars is stained in both the eyes of the average joe and the fans. The only ones it'd appeal to are the far-leftists, but they don't watch these movies. Remember; Solo was an absolute disaster, and it wasn't because it was a spin-off. Rogue One showed that spin-offs could do well, as it made more than double it's production budget in box office. Solo didn't even break even. Why? Well, Solo released after The Last Jedi and after all of the insults that Kathleen Kennedy, Rian Johnson, and JJ threw at the fans. That's to say nothing of the average joe's reaction to political dogma being thrown in, like changing Lando into a pansexual when he wasn't before.

This shit isn't popular, and it isn't liked by anyone. Hell, the Last Jedi fell short of the Force Awaken's domestic box office by 300 million dollars.. That's pretty bad.

Also, if I may ask... If they aren't desperate as hell to win back fans, why would they include Palpatine? At all? There's no reason for it.

No, they know that the franchise is fucked, and are trying to scramble to plug the sinking ship by having last minute inclusions of characters from the old days before Disney, failing to realize that the reason the ship is really sinking is that they built it out of balsa wood, rather than taking the functional, albeit gaudy ship that was the previous iteration of Star Wars.
 

Flexo

serial #3370318
kiwifarms.net
A Wrinkle in Time. I don't even know the source material, but apparently, they went so overboard with being woke, they barely remembered to adapt the book the movie was based on...
I do know the source material and well...

Screw it. I'll just quote the best pwnage I saw.
(dunno why, but this got marked as spam on the website, so here's an image).
727134
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

Tastefully gobbled. 🥝🥧🐈
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Also, there's a lot of talk going on about whether or not this show will succeed since it will be a Disney+ exclusive, Disney+ being Disney's new Netflix wannabe which is said to be expensive and doomed to fail unless they play their cards right, possibly costing the company billions due to the investments they've made into some very expensive Marvel and SW shows.
Apart from Disney/SW diehards who would watch 24 straight hours of a test pattern with the SW logo on it, Disney+ might flop because cable tv prices - even for the most basic of packages - increase significantly year to year. Unless there's plans for a Disney+ mobile app with a nominal subscription fee (akin to the Disney XD app that Rebels appeared on?), many people will be unwilling to pay whatever fees are necessary to subscribe to a new channel that provides nothing but niche content. Also, keep in mind how many people cut the cord each year both in terms of Cable/satellite television and television in general thanks to the availability and proliferation of Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, etc. that one can use for little to no cost.

Could Disney's new network succeed? Yes. However, things could fail in an epic way if Disney manages this new service and its content as poorly as they've managed the Star Wars franchise since they acquired it.

I don't think for a second Palps is going to be anything more than marketing fodder. And so far it's working.
You could be right. But with Disney introducing time travel at the conclusion of Star Wars Rebels, anything is on the table in terms of Palpatine - especially since he was using what people here refer to as the "Space Anus" to follow the protagonists through time in an attempt to ensure that events in that era and beyond played out to his benefit and his alone.

Considering I haven't watched Clone Wars, I am curious if you can go into more details about this.
Alright, @Flexo, I'll do my best to elaborate from my POV:
During the Ahsoka Fugitive Arc - what proved to be the final arc of both the show and the series (lost missions, et al notwithstanding) - the trailers for each episode in the arc seemed to pull out all the stops with as much action and suspense packed into that minute as possible. Whomever did that certainly knew what they were doing because I - and others I knew - wanted to watch the coming episodes to see what all took place.

However, the action scenes were few and far between when the episodes were viewed as a whole and a four-part arc - making them come across as unimpressive at best.

Although unrelated to the trailer discussion, this arc had so many logical inconsistencies that would drive the planet Vulcan to commit mass suicide and result in any competent attorney (or character that knew SW galactic law) being able to point out the fact that all the evidence against Ahsoka was circumstantial at best and question Tarkin's credibility under even the most cursory of cross examinations. Few non-diehards I know actually enjoyed this arc despite the puffery found in the trailers.

To reiterate, I believe the trailer for Episode IX is pure puffery to pique fans curiosities and an attempt to persuade disillusioned old school fans to reconsider their plans to avoid the film even though I suspect the final product we see on screen won't live up to hype.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
All this talk about Palpatine being in and I don't think he'll even be more than a cameo. He'll be a flashback or a disembodied force ghost voice taunting Rey before her final ultimate victory against whoever the villain is but I don't think for a second Palps is going to be anything more than marketing fodder. And so far it's working.
What about Matt Smith playing a young Palpatine?
 

Dr W

God Has Cursed Me For My Hubris
kiwifarms.net
All this talk about Palpatine being in and I don't think he'll even be more than a cameo. He'll be a flashback or a disembodied force ghost voice taunting Rey before her final ultimate victory against whoever the villain is but I don't think for a second Palps is going to be anything more than marketing fodder. And so far it's working.
No, Palpatine is there for several reasons, let me go over them:
First and foremost: TLJ nuked any possibility of having Snoke be a surrogate Palpatine, which is what JJ wanted. With his antagonist OC destroyed, he went to the deepest depths of his creativity and ripped someone else off. Again.

Secondly, this is another bullet wound to the perforated mess that is now the character of Luke. By making his turn of Vader and the subsequent death of Palpatine effectively pointless, it retroactively makes Luke's entire existence meaningless and a failure.

Finally, Palpatine exists to be effortlessly dispatched by Rey Sue to demonstrate her superiority to the cast of the OT and PT. The nemesis that nobody, not even Yoda could best for forty years, the brilliant mastermind undone by only the tiniest mistake being utterly obliterated by a rank amateur with the Sue Force and Crylo Ren at her side will be the final insult to the OT and yet more damning proof that Disney holds nothing but contempt for the IP that fought it for so long.

The ST is not Disney doing their best to make money, this is Disney taking the piss out of Star Wars in the most cathartic way possible for the suits who remember when A New Hope destroyed the box office: by fundamentally unmaking it, tarring it, destroying everything that everyone loved about it and driving the old guard away, this is the final step in the process of the creation of a slave to the Mouse: all identity must be destroyed, all love must be removed, all creativity and joy must be siphoned out, and the IP must be milked dry and then discarded.
 
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