Star Wars Griefing Thread (Formerly about Last Jedi) - It's nothing like Empire... like.... at all, we promise

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slayer Regiment
kiwifarms.net
Happy birthday George! We sure miss you right now and wished Disney wasn't buttfucking your child right now.
I wonder if he throws parties like Notch now. Going all out with the set up but just prefers to sit in the corner alone.

"Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday to me...
Happy Birthday dear Georgie...
Happy Birthday to me..."

88r4eyu0.png


[CONDESCENDING LAUGHTER IN THE DISTANCE]
758556
 

SkeletonBias420

Mountain of Molten Lust
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I have a feeling the three-year gap after Episode IX was intended to let Disney gracefully shuffle Kennedy to an administrative role while no one is paying attention. I'm also convinced that the plan was to have Benioff & Weiss come in and fulfill the "Lucas" role of overseeing the creative side of things but that is clearly looking like less of a good idea right now.
 

Vault Boy

Corporate Mascot of Vault-Tec.
kiwifarms.net
I have a feeling the three-year gap after Episode IX was intended to let Disney gracefully shuffle Kennedy to an administrative role while no one is paying attention. I'm also convinced that the plan was to have Benioff & Weiss come in and fulfill the "Lucas" role of overseeing the creative side of things but that is clearly looking like less of a good idea right now.
I know that GoT's being viewed in a... less than stellar quality these days, but that was when they had no more material to work off of, right? Benioff & Weiss might not be good at telling original stories, but they seem to do well at adapting stories for the big screen.

I mean, give them something like KOTOR, tell them to follow much of its beats, and tell Rian & Kathleen to stay the fuck away, and it might turn out alright. May not be a masterpiece, but surely it'd be a hell of a lot better than something "original" like TLJ.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slayer Regiment
kiwifarms.net
I know that GoT's being viewed in a... less than stellar quality these days, but that was when they had no more material to work off of, right? Benioff & Weiss might not be good at telling original stories, but they seem to do well at adapting stories for the big screen.

I mean, give them something like KOTOR, tell them to follow much of its beats, and tell Rian & Kathleen to stay the fuck away, and it might turn out alright. May not be a masterpiece, but surely it'd be a hell of a lot better than something "original" like TLJ.
Kathleen will never fuck off sadly and they can't tell Rian to fuck off because he has a contract promising that he gets to make his own film(s) outside of the ST. So even if D&D aren't complete hacks who got lucky, the forces around them are too powerful to stop.
 

Godzilla@1989

Marlon Brando's eyes!
kiwifarms.net
I know that GoT's being viewed in a... less than stellar quality these days, but that was when they had no more material to work off of, right? Benioff & Weiss might not be good at telling original stories, but they seem to do well at adapting stories for the big screen.

I mean, give them something like KOTOR, tell them to follow much of its beats, and tell Rian & Kathleen to stay the fuck away, and it might turn out alright. May not be a masterpiece, but surely it'd be a hell of a lot better than something "original" like TLJ.
I agree with you, but Kennedy will go to great lengths to fire them. Expect a Solo repeat.

You know what, fuck it, give Michael Bay a shot with Star Wars.
 

Elwood P. Dowd

I am the lizard king. I can do ... anything.
kiwifarms.net
Star Wars Fandom Survey

There's a whole section on what you (yes, you!) think about feminism. The author of the survey, Claudia Grey, is affiliated with LucasFilm in the sense that she's authored several DisneyEra SW books.

Of course, it also important that every survey about Star Wars determine how Woke you are...


[/CENTER]


"Many women have a quality of purity that few men possess," might be my favorite fedora tipping survey question of all time. 🤔
The survey is now closed. Google surveys have a "response limit," apparently. Or mebee too many responses from wrongthinkers? 🤔

sw-survey03jpg.jpg

Itchybacca seems to have used my screenshots w/out credit, to either me or to KF, the naughty boy.

Claudia Gray Promotes “Loaded” Star Wars Survey


Whatever, since he's doing God's work on Earth.
 

Kiwi Lime Pie

Tasteful in all Spring weather. 🥝
kiwifarms.net
What i find interesting is that I've talked to a few people when the IX trailer dropped and they cannot remember if they've seen the previous film. I had to outright remind one of them they were with me when I saw it.

And these are more normie inclined folks. That is NOT a good sign for the last film if the public consciousness is trying to forget about the last jedi.
I'm not sure how many people are actively trying to forget TLJ, but this could also be the result of the movie having no worthwhile memorable events. Anything noteworthy was more for WTF reasons as opposed to OMG, that's an interesting twist.

It’s a whole thing now. E501361E-A92C-45EF-88D8-C1E9EBB02B54.jpeg

I suppose for someone that's never watched GoT and is indifferent about it, this statement may actually prove true since there's a lot of indifference about Episode IX from the people that don't sperg out over anything Star Wars and think Disney can do wrong.
 

Flexo

serial #3370318
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure how many people are actively trying to forget TLJ, but this could also be the result of the movie having no worthwhile memorable events. Anything noteworthy was more for WTF reasons as opposed to OMG, that's an interesting twist.
Bingo - that was exactly what I was going for. For all the sperging online... the movie was ultimately forgettable.

This is what Rian Johnson fails to realize and what's I've gone on about before: cargo-cult-writing. "Luke, i am your father" is a subversion, true. But it's not the subversion itself that makes that moment (and as a consequence, ESB) memorable. It's all the moments that led up to it - all the things that got us emotionally invested into the characters. The story lured us right to the edge of our seats before yanking it out from under us.

And when you look back at the story - you realize all the clues you missed and it looks so obvious now.

Nothing in TLJ does that.

Let's take a moment and pull together several threads from earlier pages (pinging @Mola Ram since he might also appreciate this sperging). Let's think a minute about Rose.

  • So start off - well first, we begin this movie after a time jump. It just solves so many plot holes I'm shocked Rian didn't do it. (ok, not that shocked)
  • Finn is a gunner on board one of the resistance bombers. They're going after the dreadnaught, there's lots of action and stuff - when something goes wrong. Finn gets the word - his pilot, someone he's trained with now for months, is injured. The bombs can't deploy.
  • Finn crawls out of his gunner position and discovers this fact. He heroically moves to the manual release for the bombs then radios Poe for a pickup. He tries to get the pilot to safety too, but it's too late and she dies after passing her necklace to him to give to her sister.
  • Finn puts on an emergency evac suit (maybe a helmet) and jumps into space, where Poe's Xwing gets him and takes him back to the fleet.
  • Later scene, Poe & Finn talk and get the audience up to speed as Finn is treated for vacuum exposure. He asks if anyone knew Paige's sister.
  • Finn goes around the ship while they're on the run from the First Order - his search giving us an excuse to meet some new characters and aliens.
  • Eventually he finds Rose - she's all covered in grease and stuff but she smiles when he shows up. She reveals that her sister wrote and talked about him and Rose feels like she's known him forever. Finn now feels extra guilty when he has to give the necklace to Rose.
  • Rose falls to her knees sobbing in grief and all Finn can do is hold her.
  • Poe radios Finn - they need him.
  • On the bridge, they bring up that the FO keep following the Res too quickly. They have checked, double checked, and checked again - there are no trackers. Does Finn know anything?
  • He brings up that he heard rumors the FO was working on a hyperspace tracker but it was always just a theory.
  • Well now it seems to be fact. What can they do?
  • Finn brings up that he knew a civilian that was helping on the project. They could go ask him.
  • Poe is ready to go on the mission, but the leaders want him & his squad flying defense against the TIE fighters.
  • Rose mentions she knows how to fly, but isn't great at it. She's sent along with Finn.
    • Probably give them a moment on the ship, revealing that Rose can't do fancy flying, but she knows how to get the most out of an engine - say make the ship go faster than normal.
  • NOW they go to the Casino planet. At first it seems like they won't even "get past the front gate" you might say, but Finn uses his experience as a stormtrooper to bluff their way through.
  • They realize they won't get far looking like they do, so Finn & Rose stop at a shop to get dressed & cleaned up.
    • Finn looks smashing in his tux (maybe even has a comment like "I like this uniform.")
    • Rose comes out, dressed to the nines with her hair down and she looks damn sexy. (maybe even that's Finn's line "damn")
    • (here the chemistry is rising)
  • Scene on the casino planet. They run into a problem getting the former scientist to help them. They have to solve it. Maybe help some slave kids out.
    • This is where I would probably put Phasma. Maybe even reveal that after Starkiller, she was reasigned to guarding this guy as "penance."
  • Everything else flows from there. One side advances, the other side counters, etc etc. Eventually the heroes are driven to Crait.
  • Things happen, it looks like the BFG is going to win the day and Finn is like, "Fuck that!" and just starts driving straight at it.
  • NOW! BAM! Rose blind sides him and knocks him off course.
  • Finn is all like, WTF? And Rose just screams at him something like, "What difference does it make if we have nothing left after the fighting?" (and maybe kisses him this time)
See? THAT'S how you do subversion. You set up the characters, you put them on their arc. You set up little signs here and there like... when their on the casino planet, Rose never ever lets Finn split up the group. THEN when the subversion happens, it all seems obvious and organic in retrospect.

Do THAT whole arc in the movie, and I guarantee you that people will remember it. Heck you want to make it even more memorable? Have Rose's actions lead to her and Finn getting caught by the FO.

THAT'S the difference between truly writing something that works, and aping the structure. That's why TLJ is forgettable - because it's a cake made only of icing, there's no core, no substance to it.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slayer Regiment
kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure how many people are actively trying to forget TLJ, but this could also be the result of the movie having no worthwhile memorable events. Anything noteworthy was more for WTF reasons as opposed to OMG, that's an interesting twist.




I suppose for someone that's never watched GoT and is indifferent about it, this statement may actually prove true since there's a lot of indifference about Episode IX from the people that don't sperg out over anything Star Wars and think Disney can do wrong.
As much as I hate TLJ, I honestly felt that its the most memorable Disney SW movie, and not in a good way, just that stuff from that shit definitely stuck with my memory more and left a more prominent imprint than any of the other Disney Wars films. Its a painfully disgusting imprint, but it actually left an unwanted mark. With TFA, the first and strongest memorable imprint that comes to mind is "TRAITOR!" and that it was A New Hope redone but weaker and more formulaically screen-tested for max audience approval. Rogue One is too overcluttered and I honestly can't remember a single fucking name from that movie and the closest thing to memorable is how horrified I was at the CGI Peter Cushing. Solo didn't leave much of a mark either, it was just sort of there, outside of that Maul scene I guess. In short, they're all forgettable. TLJ however is a foul and more insulting turd than any other but it inspires a wide range of emotions: anger, disgust, distaste and other negative things but its that influence of negative emotions that made that piece of crap stick with me more than the other films in terms of memorability, albeit its something I wish I could forget. Sea sloth tits, Luuuke the deadbeat, hideous casino, Allahu Holdo Ackbar, Rose Tico, fucking pug penguins, Supreme Leader Goldmember, Ben Swolo, and so much more... So much more ingrained into my memory to torment me forever. So yes, the memorability comes from WTF rather than OMG. This movie will also be talked about for generations to come because of how awful and divisive it is. Just look at how ridiculously insane the debates over it are online. The arguments on reddit or 4chan over it feel like they could go on for days...

TL;DR
A nasty scar on your hand (TLJ) will be remembered and stay with you far longer unlike a brief slap on the wrist.

I'm not that into GoT either, but when I look at it from this perspective, I can understand why they're so upset over these last few episodes. Its probably not as titanically foul as TLJ, but it certainly comes close, especially since they've invested over 8 seasons of their lives for such a terrible payoff while with SW there were plenty of conclusions available before Disney to keep fans happy for either hardcore fans or OT-only fans. I'm just thankful some of my loved ones who were big on SW aren't around to see these messes.
 
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ZehnBoat

beep
kiwifarms.net
This is what Rian Johnson fails to realize and what's I've gone on about before: cargo-cult-writing. "Luke, i am your father" is a subversion, true. But it's not the subversion itself that makes that moment (and as a consequence, ESB) memorable. It's all the moments that led up to it - all the things that got us emotionally invested into the characters. The story lured us right to the edge of our seats before yanking it out from under us.
alfred hitchcock once said something akin to: if you have two men talking to each other in a restaurant, and a bomb suddenly goes off and kills them.. it's shocking but has no lasting impact
BUT
if you show that same scene but clue the audience in about the bomb, it becomes intense and a scene everyone remembers
"will they discover the bomb"?
"will they get out in time"?
"will someone do something about it"?

good writing is like bbq that's been slow cooking all day
people like rian write like a microwave dinner... sure it's quicker... but are you going to remember it?
 

SteelPlatedHeart

Politics are fucking dumb
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
alfred hitchcock once said something akin to: if you have two men talking to each other in a restaurant, and a bomb suddenly goes off and kills them.. it's shocking but has no lasting impact
BUT
if you show that same scene but clue the audience in about the bomb, it becomes intense and a scene everyone remembers
"will they discover the bomb"?
"will they get out in time"?
"will someone do something about it"?

good writing is like bbq that's been slow cooking all day
people like rian write like a microwave dinner... sure it's quicker... but are you going to remember it?
It was the difference between “suspense” and “surprise”
BF9622CB-FA68-41FB-AD2C-A8973EE45190.jpeg48DA908D-B70D-447C-A78D-843D357E3D3E.jpeg
 
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