Star Wars Griefing Thread (Formerly about Last Jedi) - It's nothing like Empire... like.... at all, we promise

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slayer Regiment
kiwifarms.net
I wonder if GeekGirlDiva still works for StarWars.com. She used to spend her days on Twitter, shitting on the fans.

As for Vic Moradi... She's a survivor (subtle dog whistle to the wine aunts and cat ladies from access media), smart, has a sharp memory and she knows how to knit. WTF is that character?! Do they expect people to like her? I'm sure they wrote her that way to appeal to women but holy shit, it's like something out of the mind of some marketing guy from the 50s.
I honestly haven't heard of GeekGirlDiva since her "customer" controversy.

I just checked her twitter. She doesn't seem to post as much business shit as she used to.
Most of her tweets are just retweets or about boring things she likes which occasionally includes SW. She also changed her name to "Geek "I have nothing to prove to you."Girl Diva". Sounds like someone's upset. I'm not sure what her original description said before, but she lists herself as a Freelance Writer with no mention of SW.com or Lucasfilm or being involved in customer service but she does mention still doing bylines for SW as well as Wikia/FANDOM. The second doesn't surprise me since a lot of people working at Lucasfilm are now working on Wookieepedia which explains why the site devolved into a Disney site.
 

Basil II

National Opthalmologist of Bulgaria
kiwifarms.net
I think other posters nailed it with the licensing deal. Its not that they CAN'T use OT OH material, but they don't want to to avoid even the possibility of infringement claims. Just like Lens Flare Trek.

The licensing agreement that dissolved Viacom gave Paramount permission to use "Trek Volcabulary" but they never say 'Phaser' in the reboots, only "weapons".



The thing that bothered me was "Where the fuck did the New Order get the ships?"
I remember someone talking about an early draft where the notDeath Star was supposed to be an Imperial Black-site Project, which would have made sense. Derelict Imperial facilities and fleet just waiting to picked up by someone who had a map of the locations. Its a rip off of some EU plot lines, but it would have at least addressed it.

Which I think is what pisses me off about Didney Waz; its not just that they're injecting SJW shit, but they're doing it in the laziest, lowest effort way possible.
This is what's really fucked with the nu wars plot and barely anyone mentions it. How the hell did this empire split off manage to become more powerful than the entire republic and take it over? they didn't even set it up. It's so fucking ridiculous, this is the movie plot equivalent of if in April 1945, Hitler an heros and the day after Goebbels turns Super Saiyan and destroys the entire Red Army while also nuking Moscow, London and Washington in the process. It makes no fucking sense.
 
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Iceland Heavy

kiwifarms.net
This is what's really fucked with the nu wars plot and barely anyone mentions it. How the hell did this empire split off manage to become more powerful than the entire republic and take it over? they didn't even set it up. It's so fucking ridiculous, this is the movie plot equivalent of if in April 1945, Hitler an heros and the day after Goebbels turns Super Saiyan and destroys the entire Red Army while also nuking Moscow, London and Washington in the process. It makes so no fucking sense.
The closest thing to an explanation is that there's a lot of resources in the Unknown Regions which is as lazy a handwave as they come. It's more like Otto Skorzeny runs off with Eichmann, Mengele, and all the SS refugees into deepest Siberia rather than Argentina while both the US and the Soviet Union decide to completely disarm rather than arm up for the Cold War declaring that world peace is at hand. Then all of a few decades later the Nazi holdouts suddenly nuke Moscow, London and Washington DC and then roll over both the US and the Soviet Union with an army straight out of Wolfenstein (the only explanation being there's a lot of resources in Siberia, it doesn't matter though lol), and the only people who even bother to fight back are a bunch of boomers LARPing as their fathers.
 
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Dr W

Heaven is void of light
kiwifarms.net
The closest thing to an explanation is that there's a lot of resources in the Unknown Regions which is as lazy a handwave as they come. It's more like Otto Skorzeny runs off with Eichmann, Mengele, and all the SS refugees into deepest Siberia rather than Argentina while both the US and the Soviet Union decide to completely disarm rather than arm up for the Cold War declaring that world peace is at hand. Then all of a few decades later the Nazi holdouts suddenly nuke Moscow, London and Washington DC and then roll over both the US and the Soviet Union with an army straight out of Wolfenstein (the only explanation being there's a lot of resources in Siberia, it doesn't matter though lol), and the only people who even bother to fight back are a bunch of boomers LARPing as their fathers.
Not gonna lie, I'd actually fucking watch that if it were a TV show.
 

Übertroon

Gotta go fast
kiwifarms.net
The closest thing to an explanation is that there's a lot of resources in the Unknown Regions which is as lazy a handwave as they come. It's more like Otto Skorzeny runs off with Eichmann, Mengele, and all the SS refugees into deepest Siberia rather than Argentina while both the US and the Soviet Union decide to completely disarm rather than arm up for the Cold War declaring that world peace is at hand. Then all of a few decades later the Nazi holdouts suddenly nuke Moscow, London and Washington DC and then roll over both the US and the Soviet Union with an army straight out of Wolfenstein (the only explanation being there's a lot of resources in Siberia, it doesn't matter though lol), and the only people who even bother to fight back are a bunch of boomers LARPing as their fathers.
You aren't that far off from describing Hellsing Ultimate, though to be fair those nazis were vampires
 

The Nothingness

The one with no body!
kiwifarms.net
In fact I'll need to check to see if Kenobi is ever referred to as Ben in front of Han or Leia in the first movie as I'm not sure he is.
Leia calls him "Obi wan" and it is Luke who suggested that Ben Kenobi might know Obi-Wan.
The only time Kenobi is referred to as "Ben" by Leia is when she first meets Luke.

Luke: I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit and I'm here with Ben Kenobi.

Leia: Ben Kenobi? Where is he?
 

RumblyTumbly

kiwifarms.net
Total sidebar, but as a kid, before the prequels, I always assumed that "Ben" was Kenobi's "Real" name and "Obi-Wan" was his "Jedi name". There is literally nothing to indicate this, but it was my own personal head-canon for reasoning why he would use "Ben Kenobi" as an alias for "Obi-Wan Kenobi". It isn't an alias! Its just his real name that he re-adopted after the Jedi fell.

But then the prequels happened and pretty much killed all of that, lol.
 

qu_rahn

kiwifarms.net
I would have named Kylo Ren "Lando", just to be hilarious.

Being serious, one thing I wish they had done with TFA: Instead of having everything boil down to a ANH repeat, why not follow the map idea to its conclusion and make it more of an Indiana Jones/Raiders style adventure?

The good guys have the map, the bad guys want the map, and instead of it being strictly a map to Luke, why not make it a map to an ancient Sith/Jedi temple that contains some sort of weapon that either side can use and it is a race to get it. Say that Luke went looking for it when the Jedi went down, but never returned and the new characters are taking up his search. Instead of Death Star battle Part 3, we can get a cat and mouse game with traps and all sorts of fun inside a Star Wars style death maze.
You just described the plot to Jedi Knight!


The storyline in Jedi Knight follows Kyle Katarn, who first appeared in Dark Forces. Katarn's father had been murdered by a Dark Jedi over the location of "The Valley of the Jedi" and the game follows Katarn's attempts to find the Valley and confront his father's killers.


The game is set one year after the events of Return of the Jedi. The player controls Kyle Katarn, who made his first appearance as a mercenary in Dark Forces. On Nar Shaddaa, Katarn meets with an information broker droid named 8t88 who tells Katarn that his father, Morgan Katarn, was killed by a Dark Jedi named Jerec, who also intends to rebuild the Empire under his rule. After a lengthy firefight, Kyle retrieves a disk from 8t88 that can only be read by WeeGee, the Katarn's family droid. The disk's message, coupled with WeeGee giving Kyle a lightsaber, compel Kyle to undertake a journey to confront his father's murderers and discover his own latent Force abilities. While on this journey, Kyle learns that seven Dark Jedi are intent on finding the "Valley of the Jedi", a focal point for the Force and sacred ground for the Jedi. Guided by Jedi Master Qu Rahn, who was recently cut down by Jerec, but who lived on as a force spirit, Kyle must defeat Jerec's Seven Dark Jedi in order to stop Jerec from gaining infinite power.

Katarn retrieves the Valley's location and travels with Rebel Alliance agent and close friend Jan Ors to Ruusan, the planet on which the Valley is located. Jerec captures Ors and offers Katarn the choice to execute her or die. The decision Katarn makes here depends on the player's actions within the game up to this point. If Katarn has remained true to the light path he spares Ors, but if he has fallen to the dark side he kills her. With both paths, Katarn has a final confrontation with Jerec in the Valley of the Jedi's core. If the player chose the light side, the game concludes with Katarn being reunited with Ors and carving a monument to Rahn and his dead father; if the player chose the dark path, the game ends with Katarn becoming the new Emperor.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slayer Regiment
kiwifarms.net
I found an incredibly comprehensive article about Galaxy's Edge and its construction written by a former Disney insider columnist (Al Lutz himself) who offers some new details along with some shit about cancelled elements I've posted about before but with new saucy bits, and best of all... BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA!
Its an interesting read and I suggest you all give it a whirl. It even goes into detail on the drama going on during the park's construction, and its verifiable since everything he says matches up with what I've said and posted about the interiors of the Kylo Ren ride, which he adds further by explaining that the reason the ride didn't open with the rest of the park was due to numerous technical problems and delays. Apparently the ride isn't working as intended. He also mentions a shit ton of other things that were cut including what happened to the aliens and performers that would be at the park, like the Nikto bounty hunter. In short, the reason the park is so bland and worthless is because it was designed for Instagram whores and Bob Chapek along with Disney execs are revealed to be fucking idiots at last! Its like that Tell All book we've been waiting for (almost)!

And to show Disney/Lucasfilm/Jake Lunt's "WTF" decision-making when it comes to aliens, the picture below was their new take on Banthas which were going to be used at Galaxy's Edge before getting replaced by a Dewback which got it quickly cancelled.
Bantha.jpg

And here's the unfinished and cancelled Bantha/Dewback animatronic.
1565751066114.jpeg


Also here's a very fitting meme.
1565750403314.jpeg
 
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Relic 31

kiwifarms.net
I found an incredibly comprehensive article about Galaxy's Edge and its construction supposedly written by a former Disney insider columnist (Al Lutz) who offers some new details along with some shit about cancelled elements I've posted about before, and best of all... BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA!
Its an interesting read and I suggest you all give it a whirl. It even goes into detail and drama going on during the park's construction, and its verifiable since everything he says matches up with what I've said about the interiors of the Kylo Ren ride, which he adds further by explaining that the reason the ride didn't open with the rest of the park was to numerous technical problems and delays. Apparently the ride isn't working as intended. He also mentions a shit ton of other things that were cut including what happened to the aliens and performers that would be at the park, like the bounty hunter. Its like that Tell All book we've been waiting for (almost)!

And to show Disney/Lucasfilm/Jake Lunt's "WTF" decision-making when it comes to aliens, the picture below was their new take on Banthas which were going to be used at Galaxy's Edge before getting replaced by a Dewback which got it quickly cancelled.
View attachment 889891
And here's the unfinished and cancelled Bantha/Dewback animatronic.
View attachment 889902

Also here's a very fitting meme.
View attachment 889893
Thanks for linking that article, it was very informative. I really think this part says a lot about the whole situation:

“By 2017, the most cynical execs in Burbank defended the removal of the dinner show by insisting visitors would Instagram photos of their high priced cocktails and thus be entertained just as much as they would have been watching an expensive to operate dinner show.”

The arrogance is staggering.
 

Ghostse

Waffle SS Untermenchenfurher
kiwifarms.net
And we are literally unable to get into "the machinations of the New Republic" since there is nothing of that sort. Until the movie novelizations (that no one reads) came out, no one had any clue what the fuck was going on in Abrams-Wars politically. And even after that, I'd argue that it's still just a really vast void of nonsense, since I doubt that the ones writing the novelizations are particularly clever or educated and thus lack the writing skills to come up with more than "Mon Mothma decided to abondon the military, since she was dumb enough to not realize what would happen in such a situation." There are no "politics" in the movie, most likely since JarJar couldn't lift a scene that establishes just what the hell is going on in the galaxy far far away... and he didn't think we might neet some establishing of how "The good guys won" went to "everyone is miserable, incompetent and is a massive failure."
There are plenty of real life historical examples of victors shooting themselves in the foot in roughly these sorts of ways.

They could have even done their #woke horseshit by having the Republic Military largely outsourced to elements that were open to corruption by secret Imperial sympathizers so when then FO shows up, armed with imperial-design weapons made of components made in Republic shipyards and factories but shipped to the hidden FO bases for assembly, the traitors in the Republic Military turn on any loyalist factions.
Then they destroy Republic command and control, leaving only planetary militia and scattered & isolated Republic forces - outposts deemed small or isolated enough they could be dealt with later. you could even have a nice "This isn't what I agreed to!" moment with one of the traitor generals.

The rest of the movie is surviving Republic elements regrouping for a counter attack to try to stem the advance and give the planetary militia and whatever is left of the Republic fleet time to prepare and fleet by taking out the nuDeathStar.


I still think the best thing they could've done that would've made audiences happy and allow JJ to rip off old plotlines was to make Starkiller Base into a Star Forge-sort of superweapon which eats stars to gain their metals and spits out warships and whatever else they need, so all they need is the crew and shit (which is where people like Finn come in). This was in Dark Empire too IIRC which they're ripping off in Episode IX. There, now you made a scary fucking weapon which could shit out a million of Snoke's flagship if you give them the chance instead of just Death Star but bigger.
That would be have been pretty cool and made sense about how the FO was able to build a fleet.

Boy StarWars.com is really desperate to try and salvage Galaxy's Edge OC hero Vi Moradi. They wrote a whole article describing everything about her with oodles of glorification. Seriously, why would you make a complete nobody the hero of your new STAR WARS park? A character who has never been in anything except a shitty novel about Phasma and periods.
What the utter fuck.


Total sidebar, but as a kid, before the prequels, I always assumed that "Ben" was Kenobi's "Real" name and "Obi-Wan" was his "Jedi name". There is literally nothing to indicate this, but it was my own personal head-canon for reasoning why he would use "Ben Kenobi" as an alias for "Obi-Wan Kenobi". It isn't an alias! Its just his real name that he re-adopted after the Jedi fell.

But then the prequels happened and pretty much killed all of that, lol.
Same.
 
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