Star Wars Griefing Thread (Formerly about Last Jedi) - It's nothing like Empire... like.... at all, we promise

Vault Boy

Corporate Mascot of Vault-Tec.
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JJ Abrams isn't useless. If I were one of the powers that be, I'd be happy to see him kick off a film series.

I'd then ban him from the lot while someone else tried to resolve his plot points.

He can't follow up with a successful conclusion. Never has, never will.
Uh, Lucasfilms tried doing exactly that with Star Wars. It didn't exactly go smoothly, to say the least.
 
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Reactions: GeneralFriendliness

Dom Cruise

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Bob Iger is already stepping down. He's been slated to step down since 2018, but he agreed to stay on to help with the Fox merger.
That's a relatively brief run, Eisner lasted 20 years, kinda surprising.

Though I'm not complaining, I want to believe whoever replaces him will do a better job, but who on Earth would it be? Abigail Disney maybe?
 

Safir

True & Honest Fan
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Isn't that one of the main villain's from the Resistance cartoon? That show seems to have failed in almost every regard. The only hype that piece of shit's gotten for its second season was a reference to a corny SNL sketch about Kylo Ren.
Hilarious considering they had Wreck-It Ralph 2 cut a joke about Kylo Ren.

First reported by IGN, the filmmakers behind Ralph Breaks the Internet were going to include a cameo of Kylo Ren acting like a spoiled child, but was changed by the request of Lucasfilm. Co-director Rich Moore further explained, "We went to Lucasfilm and said, here’s what we’re doing. And they said, well, we’d prefer that you don’t show him as a spoiled child. You know, he is our villain, and we’d prefer you don’t do that. So we were respectful of that.
 

TinCan Wizard

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Ihavetinyweewee

But massive grotesque balls
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I actually hope KK gets his job so that Disney will collapse even faster.
I suspect her taking the job at Lucasfilm, was ultimatley a 'stepping stone' to compete for just that(or more likely, Alan Horn's job).

At this point, I don't think she has any chance. Her reputation is too controversial, I think, with shareholders. Especially, if she was in competition with someone like Kevin Feige(if he wants the job)...

I think it's going to be more decided on two things:

1) How much the Fox executives have influence post merger? Do they want more of an outsider that won't JUST care about Disney's end. That leaves it open ended a bit...

2) If through internal promotion, It will come down to what area or venue they forsee as needing the biggest growth. So, parks, movies, streaming media etc etc...

Whatever area projected to make the biggest potential profits, will be the person(whose experise coincides with that area)they will promote...

So, good chance, it's someone you never even heard of....
 
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Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
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I can't wait for these idiots to cause a streaming crash because they split the properties to the point only trust fund dummies can buy them all to keep up with "pop culture".

And remember, Disney+ will not have their full library until they want to up the prices... and none of their "big" projects are coming out this year and most of next year too.
 

RumblyTumbly

kiwifarms.net
Honestly, the only things Disney+ has announced so far that I would even consider watching are The Mandalorian (which to be fair, looks like the Boba Fett Dollars trilogy style space western I've always wanted) and MAYBE Falcon/Winter Soldier show (mainly because my boy Zemo is the villain in it).

Other than that, I couldn't be bothered to give a crap. And even those are more "I'm going to wait and see what people I trust think before I dare put any money down for that service".
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
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@GeneralFriendliness They honestly remind me of the Illithids from Baldurs gate a bit
Come to think of it, you're kinda right. The face does sort of look like a Mind Flayer's, mostly the ones from the 2nd edition of D&D which had micro tentacles on their face, but overall the body is way different from a Mind Flayers, with all members of this species apparently being fat, hunched and manly...
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Oddly enough, her original concept art depicted her as an old tattooed human woman who looked like an asian Mama Murphy from Fallout 4.
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But now that I look at her colored art, I think I remember why she looks familiar. If she had a trunk, she'd look just like a Pacithhip (the elephant faced dudes) from The Phantom Menace, even having the same eyes...


Anyway back to the cancelled park characters/aliens and datapad bullshit.

This is a Narquois which never appeared in anything before Disney. They're just a donut steal version of Ugnaughts (the short pink pig men from ESB), even having the same background "short, brutish, balding, tech-savy, space dwarves who got enslaved a lot and then got their planet fucked and moved to other parts of the galaxy" now they live everywhere while effectively replacing ugnaughts in roles you would normally see them in. Now they're everywhere in the galaxy, very numerous and apparently always have been despite never seeing them before.
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The one pictured here is called Pru Sweevant who is the same from TFA's castle scene and has now moved to Batuu despite not actually being in the park like the other shits. It seems as though every alien from that castle scene moved to this fucking park. I don't know what mission he gives you but its for the Resistance. Supposedly, he was the personal slave of Nute Gunray (the CIS leader from TPM).

This is an Onoodle...? Its never appeared in anything before Disney. An ugly pink fucker that's got a long noodle scrotum for a face that extends to the back of its heads. It seems to be a really fucked up, munchkin-sized, donut steal version of a Kubaz (the squeaky snitching imperial spy alien from ANH), and it is the second kubaz knockoff that I know of.
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The one pictured here is named Gwelli and its also the same one from the fucking castle scene in TFA. His mission involves finding some kind of hood which you get by scanning a box. He also personally knows Han Solo and is a friend of his, he also who once had an argument with that pirate guy Hondo...

This is a... Die-something. I don't remember. Never appeared in anything before Disney. Looks decent because its just a breathing mask but its probably ugly if its ever given a real face. They have only appeared in the datapad and in TFA.
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The one pictured is named Atgore and its the same one from the castle scene in TFA who has moved to Batuu. He is a drug and goods smuggling bounty hunter whose mission involves scanning some piece from the lightsaber shop, he will then reward you with a piece of armor that's added to your datapad collection. He apparently knew Rey and knew about the map that led to Luke Skywalker and where it was all along... So like, were the Resistance the only dumb fuckers who were in the dark about that stupid mcguffin map?

Here we have one of the few pre-Disney aliens at the park, there's about 5 of them not counting the pirate guy, Dok Ondar and the toy maker, while Disney aliens have about 12-14 reps. Its a Pacithhip, a sort of elephant-faced alien with horn-like tusks, and stubby legs which it hides by using prosthetic metal legs to mimic the height and speed of other species. It first appeared in Dark Horse's SW comics, later in the 1997 special edition of ANH, and then more prominently in TPM.
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The one pictured in the datapad is called Bok who first appeared in The Phantom Menace where he was a friend of Watto's and an engineer... But now in the datapad and at the age of 90, Bok is now a female... So I guess he trooned out...? They also re-used the same exact model from TPM's visual dictionary. His mission involves helping him make money for his transgenderative surgery... I kid on that last one. Bok is only mentioned by that pirate Hondo as someone whose identity has stolen for a mission.

This is obviously an Ewok.
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But not just any Ewok... This is the Ewok from the awful book I talked about 3 or so pages ago where Han gets mansplained by a streetwise gungan security guard for being a racist human male. In the book, as I mentioned before, Peekpa is a super intelligent ewok girl child who knows everything about programming, hacking, engineering, navigation, droid repair, ship repair, etc etc despite being from a primitive species and she managed to learn all this in just 2 years, eventually becoming Han Solo's ship mate 2 years after the Battle of Endor... 30 years later she is now retired and living on Batuu for some reason. Her mission involves finding a hang glider by scanning a box.

This another old pre-Disney alien, a Sy Myrthian that only have one foot that looks like a hutt's tail. First appeared in TPM.
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This is Brookish Boon. In pre-Disney he was a famous journalist from Coruscant who was also a huge hypocrite. Boon would talk about political corruption but would happily take bribes and publish fake news for his own benefit. Under Disney Boon has also trooned out and is just a fat rich nobody who had zher identity stolen by the pirate guy.

There are only two other familiar aliens left but I don't know about them much or have their pics, I only know their species based on what I briefly saw in a video. One is a Quarren aka the original Mind Flayer-lookalikes of Star Wars who first appeared in ROTJ and shared their homeworld of Dac with the Mon Calamari (Ackbar's species) who they shared a heated racial rivalry with. All of that is still a part of Disney surprisingly except they changed the name of the planet.
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Despite looking like mind flayers, the similarities are only superficial and shared none of their inherit evil or supernatural abilities of Mind Flayers (unless they were sith) other than being creepy and occasionally less trustworthy. For actual Mind Flayer-like beings in SW, you'd have to go for the Anzati or Amphi for that.

The second and last familiar species in the park are the Nautolans aka jedi master Kit Fisto's species which first appeared in AotC and Genndy Wars. Like the quarren, they're also aquatic, except they're frog people with tentacle hair.
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That about covers all the aliens in the park, although supposedly all the other aliens from the castle scene in TFA also live in this park now for some reason despite not being seen.

Only thing left are some clothes featured in the datapad which don't appear in the park and are only found by scanning boxes or through "rewards". Mainly jawa clothes and an ewok hood. I assume that they were originally going to be sold as clothes in the park but were removed for budget reasons I guess.
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You can "equip" some of these via the datapad as part of a mission, but you don't actually wear anything obviously.

There's also armor for that failed Zuvio character that was hyped up for TFA but never used.
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That about covers the datapad bullshit. All that's left is to discuss the lightsaber ban and the little things from the park I didn't discuss before due to not seeming very relevant, but now that the park seems to be screwed, I might as well point out all the wasted effort since Wookieepedia is too busy dying.
 

RomanesEuntDomus

May contain nuts.
True & Honest Fan
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This one's called a WiggerWar or a WickerWar (can't remember which).
1568157561112.png

Its never appeared in anything before. Not even Disney shit, although supposedly it was an unused costume from Solo. It doesn't appear in the park much like all the other aliens and cast members (except Chewbacca and Dok), and the only place it does exist is in the shitty datapad app where one called Weaselman will give you a mission to scan some box near a trash can or something. Despite being unique to the park, this is not a native of Batuu, its actually from a planet called... 111. Overall it looks like a donut steal version of an Ugor. Note that all of the pics in the datapad are black and white.

I should note that when you scan something at the park, this is what will appear on your phone.
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Just a small pic with a bit of trivia. You will see these forsaken characters only when you scan shit or if you take on "missions".

This is a Bluetopian... Despite the name, they're not actually blue. This creature has also never appeared in anything but was also apparently an unused costume from Rogue One. This is the species of the tranny bartender who serves as the "queen" of Black Spire Outpost.
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I feel like I've seen this species before but not in Star Wars.

This is a Melttitto... It has never appeared in anything before Disney, but I'll go into detail of what Disney material it has appeared in below. Its basically a donut steal version of the Verpine but completely human in everything but the face...
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That's not a helmet. It just has no eyes, mouth or... anything. It sees with optical nerves or something on its face. It is actually an alien from TFA, except the alien here at Galaxy's Edge and in TFA are the same one and his name is Sarco Plank. For some reason, nu-Lucasfilm is really obsessed with Mr. Plank as he has appeared in a shit ton of Disney content. Seriously, he is the only member representing his species in the galaxy and he appears in a shit ton of novels, comics, etc, all as a background or unimportant character, except once where he was a villain who fought Luke Skywalker over some treasure. Now he's on Galaxy's Edge for some reason while simultaneously being on every planet in every time period.

This is a Mold Warp... A species that has never appeared in anything before Disney, only appearing in TLJ's dreadful casino scene.
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According to the datapad, it is the same one from TLJ, as the one in TLJ was also called Edmo Ectacle in a shitty guide, but his concept art name was Cantina Alien 37A since according to a bio with Kennedy I posted like a year ago in this thread, it was said that she only saw aliens as goofy comic characters to be laughed at and should only appear in cantina scenes, hence the casino scene was supposed to be TLJ's cantina... Sad part is this dumb fucker was probably the least ugly alien in the casino.

I'll discuss the rest of this shit in a bit.
All this stuff sort of reminds me of Worldbuilding for RPG campaigns:
Who the fuck cares if you wrote 500 pages of backstory for a character that just sits in the tavern, hunched over his beer, refusing to speak to anyone?

If it's something the players won't find out, you'd have done better just drawing a crude map of the tavern that bloke is sitting in to visualize it a little for the players.
It's about being economical of where you develope your world and where you get away with broad strokes.

Tolkien did this fantastically, when he described a few statues on the roadside, you really get the feeling that they are part of a giant, interconnected web of historical events and not just some throwaway line about some random rocks. Granted, he "just" developed the entire world and then whittled it down for the plot of LOTR... but you can't argue with results.

GE seems to have put a major aspect of their creative work into stuff no one truly gives a shit about. So what, I can "scan" a potted plant and receive the unfathomably amazing information that Ogbog Grumgaghlagh* brought this plant as a gift for Julöplöp K!luktuk* from the Planet Hurzfurz*. How about a ride that doesn't suck? Got that? No? Fine then, I guess, whatever. Random information, that doesn't amount to anything, isn't worldbuilding, it's just a collection of pointless nonsense.

________________________________________________________________
* Not scheduled to appear in any official SW whatsoever
 

HeyYou

seriousposter
True & Honest Fan
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I don't know if it was mentioned earlier or if it was a fever dream of mine, but what was the problem some people had with Eckhart's Ladder? I was reminded because YouTube will not stop recommending his shit.
 

Übertroon

Gotta go fast
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It's just them stealthily trying to tie Empire Strikes Back to The Last Jedi. With Rian saying he didn't like it as a kid because the heroes lost, but warming up to it as he got older. And the article implying that Empire Strikes Back supposedly had a lot of critics when it came out.

They're really desperate in trying to turn the Last Jedi into the next generation's Empire Strikes Back
 

HeyYou

seriousposter
True & Honest Fan
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It's just them stealthily trying to tie Empire Strikes Back to The Last Jedi. With Rian saying he didn't like it as a kid because the heroes lost, but warming up to it as he got older. And the article implying that Empire Strikes Back supposedly had a lot of critics when it came out.
They're really overplaying how much the Rebels lost in ESB compared to TLJ. In ESB, Luke learns a valuable lesson about being a dumbass and loses his hand, but the worst he can be blamed for is caring too much about his friends. It's not like he causes Han's situation, he would have been frozen with or without Luke's involvement. This flaw isn't even a fatal flaw, because it's turned on its head and leads to Vader's redemption in the next film, with Luke once again refusing to follow Yoda's and Ben's advice. Leia loses her boy toy, but is otherwise okay. Han is the worst off and is frozen for ~a year. The larger Rebellion barely plays into the story and Hoth was a mostly successful operation. After that, the rest of the movie is a very personal story centered on character development.

Meanwhile everyone in the Last Jedi comically fails. Most of the time their fuck-ups lead to terrible shit happening to other people, and at the end of the movie they end up with like 20 people on the Millennium Falcon. There's nothing heart-wrenching about what happens to them, because if this were any other movie this would be a tragedy about how terrible decisions can lead to an entire organization's demise.
 

Übertroon

Gotta go fast
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They're really overplaying how much the Rebels lost in ESB compared to TLJ. In ESB, Luke learns a valuable lesson about being a dumbass and loses his hand, but the worst he can be blamed for is caring too much about his friends. It's not like he causes Han's situation, he would have been frozen with or without Luke's involvement. This flaw isn't even a fatal flaw, because it's turned on its head and leads to Vader's redemption in the next film, with Luke once again refusing to follow Yoda's and Ben's advice. Leia loses her boy toy, but is otherwise okay. Han is the worst off and is frozen for ~a year. The larger Rebellion barely plays into the story and Hoth was a mostly successful operation. After that, the rest of the movie is a very personal story centered on character development.

Meanwhile everyone in the Last Jedi comically fails. Most of the time their fuck-ups lead to terrible shit happening to other people, and at the end of the movie they end up with like 20 people on the Millennium Falcon. There's nothing heart-wrenching about what happens to them, because if this were any other movie this would be a tragedy about how terrible decisions can lead to an entire organization's demise.
Just shows that even as an adult Rian mistakes bleakness and desperation for failure.
 

Ghostse

Waffle SS Untermenchenfurher
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They're really overplaying how much the Rebels lost in ESB compared to TLJ. In ESB, Luke learns a valuable lesson about being a dumbass and loses his hand, but the worst he can be blamed for is caring too much about his friends. It's not like he causes Han's situation, he would have been frozen with or without Luke's involvement. This flaw isn't even a fatal flaw, because it's turned on its head and leads to Vader's redemption in the next film, with Luke once again refusing to follow Yoda's and Ben's advice. Leia loses her boy toy, but is otherwise okay. Han is the worst off and is frozen for ~a year. The larger Rebellion barely plays into the story and Hoth was a mostly successful operation. After that, the rest of the movie is a very personal story centered on character development.

Meanwhile everyone in the Last Jedi comically fails. Most of the time their fuck-ups lead to terrible shit happening to other people, and at the end of the movie they end up with like 20 people on the Millennium Falcon. There's nothing heart-wrenching about what happens to them, because if this were any other movie this would be a tragedy about how terrible decisions can lead to an entire organization's demise.
I think you are understating a bit how (to a normie movie watcher) bad ESB was for the Rebellion.
The crawl informs you despite blowing up the Death Star they've been forced off Yavin IV. They are scattered and forced to try to set up a base on a damn ice planet because that's the only safe place; and they've only just barely got it semi-operational before they're forced to abandon it again. They get their people and presumably most of the most valuable equipment away, but that's still a lot of hardware (not to mention sweat & blood) they've been made to leave behind.

So having just gotten fucking served and chased off another planet with what look like fairly heavy casualties, Luke our hero, the most kick ass guy in the Rebellion who took out a fucking 80ft walking troop transport solo and ON FOOT after his snow speeder was shot out from under him, goes and has real jedi training.

The Falcon is in sorry shape and they can't even jump to light speed, and Hans our smart & clever rebel, is betrayed and he and Leia (our stand in for leadership of the Rebellion) are captured.

So Luke, freshly amped up and empowered from his training montage, suits up and goes to rescue them. He encounters vader who proceeds to not only kick Luke's ass, but reveals that he is Luke's father, making things even worse. The guy who killed your father figure (Uncle Owen) and then turned your replacement father figure (Obi-Wan) into a blue-tinted ghost in a bathroom, and who is also Space Hitler But More Evil, is your actual absentee father.
(also demonstrating that you got your ass solidly whooped and he was purposely taking it easy on you)

So the movie ends with Hans captured, Luke the most powerful guy the rebellion has is completely beaten - hand removed, light saber lost - the Empire overrunning Cloud City, the Rebels without any (in movie) bases. Shit's bad yo.

But at the very end of the film, you see Luke with the rebel fleet, getting a new hand, being determined to complete his training, rescue his friend, and face down Vader; Lando joining the rebellion and going to help find Hans. Things are bad, but they aren't hopeless and they're looking up.

Ruin Johnson's just salty because ESB actually accomplished its story telling goals, and his was a nonsensical pile of flaming garbage trying to shamelessly copy something better.
 

HeyYou

seriousposter
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I think you are understating a bit how (to a normie movie watcher) bad ESB was for the Rebellion.
The crawl informs you despite blowing up the Death Star they've been forced off Yavin IV. They are scattered and forced to try to set up a base on a damn ice planet because that's the only safe place; and they've only just barely got it semi-operational before they're forced to abandon it again. They get their people and presumably most of the most valuable equipment away, but that's still a lot of hardware (not to mention sweat & blood) they've been made to leave behind.

So having just gotten fucking served and chased off another planet with what look like fairly heavy casualties, Luke our hero, the most kick ass guy in the Rebellion who took out a fucking 80ft walking troop transport solo and ON FOOT after his snow speeder was shot out from under him, goes and has real jedi training.

The Falcon is in sorry shape and they can't even jump to light speed, and Hans our smart & clever rebel, is betrayed and he and Leia (our stand in for leadership of the Rebellion) are captured.

So Luke, freshly amped up and empowered from his training montage, suits up and goes to rescue them. He encounters vader who proceeds to not only kick Luke's ass, but reveals that he is Luke's father, making things even worse. The guy who killed your father figure (Uncle Owen) and then turned your replacement father figure (Obi-Wan) into a blue-tinted ghost in a bathroom, and who is also Space Hitler But More Evil, is your actual absentee father.
(also demonstrating that you got your ass solidly whooped and he was purposely taking it easy on you)

So the movie ends with Hans captured, Luke defeated - hand removed, light saber lost - the Empire overrunning Cloud City, the Rebels without any (in movie) bases. Shit's bad yo.
But at the very end of the film, you see Luke with the rebel fleet, getting a new hand, being determined to complete his training and face down Vader, Lando joining the rebellion and going to help find Hans - things are bad, but they aren't hopeless and they're looking up.

Ruin Johnson's just salty because ESB actually accomplished its story telling goals, and his was a nonsensical pile of flaming garbage trying to copy something better.
They're a Rebellion, by its nature it has to move around a lot. I recall them mentioning that Hoth is just the last in the many bases they've had to hide out in. They had to do that before Yavin IV and the Death Star, the Empire just started taking them a bit more seriously. The movie gives plenty indication that there's still tons of Rebels kicking around, it's not like they've been pushed to the absolute brink. Like I said, it's really personal and emotional roadblocks that exist at the end of the movie, and Luke's "hot-headedness" ends up working in ROTJ. It's almost absurd how badly TLJ ends in comparison.
 
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