Star Wars Griefing Thread (Formerly about Last Jedi) - It's nothing like Empire... like.... at all, we promise

[Oaat]

dark side degenerates

oversized, anime-style sword

whyyyy

Referenced portentously in The Force Awakens and glimpsed so very briefly during Rey's vision on Takodana, the Knights and their role in Kyles fall from grace were set up as a major piece of the Star Wars puzzle. That is until Johnson, who clearly didn't share Abrams' interest, dropped the idea, sweeping them briskly under the rug next to the mystery of Rey's parentage and the bisected corpse of Supreme Leader Snoke. "Let the past die," instructed Kylo Ren in The Last Jedi. "Kill it, if you have to." A sentiment, one could argue, that cut to the very heart of Johnson's film.
...
And so, just as the investigation into Rey's lineage looks set to be reopened, so too are the Knights back with a vengeance (not to mention Abrams talisman Greg Grunberg as pilot Snap Wexley). With Johnson's tenure over, we're playing in Abrams' yard once more, although our suggestion that he might somehow be trying to course-correct is given short shrift.
...
Ren, left pointedly bare-faced by Johnson throughout VIII, now hides his face once more. It's a development that, while not a rebuke to The Last Jedi, demonstrates the different touchstones that resonate with each director. Although, Abrams expands, reuniting Kylo with his mask is about more than just sinister aesthetics.

Ren's temptation by the light, like Rey's temptation by the dark, forms the spine of a moral ambiguity that Johnson built on in 'VII and very much carries over to IX, bringing with it a sense that George Lucas' more clearly defined duality might be a relic of a simpler time. Neither light nor dark, The Rise Of Skywalker and its characters exist more within what could be considered the grey side of the Force

And yet the conflict has gotten more black and white than ever. No real moral ambiguity is being added, it's just the philosophies of the Jedi and Sith that are being tossed out.

the striking lowlands known in Arabic as Wadi Rum ... will next year double as the eponymous desert planet in Denis Villeneuve's Dune.

But the planet was only informally called Dune. Ok that was nitpicky.

Today, though, Wadi Rum is a different part of the galaxy entirely, standing in for Pasaana: a new locale in the canon, and home to the bedouin-like Aki-Aki: a nomadic race of walrus-like aliens with twin tentacles dangling from their maws in place of tusks.

Pasaana, along with the nippier climes of snow planet Kijimi, is one of several new worlds visited by The Rise Of Skywalker. But most importantly, it's a place where the heroes we've become acquainted with over the past two films will come together at last.

Confirmed planets, although I don't see Exogol.

"Some people feel like we shouldn't revisit the idea of Palpatine, and I completely understand that," Abrams concedes. "But if you're looking at these nine films as one story, I don't know many books where the last few chapters have nothing to do with those that have come before.

This is why he made TFA a soft reboot with new characters rehashing the same scenario from chapter one, right?

I hate to do more "But what if it was GOOD" posting but

Unofficial Kiwi Farms donut steal Science Fantasy Setting when?

 

[BScCollateral]

Still, better than anything Disney has shat out, with the sorta exception of Rogue One.

I admit it's a minority opinion, but that whole plot point did nothing for me.

Maybe it's because I think of Tusken Raiders as "monsters" instead of "people," probably because we've seen absolutely nothing to suggest they're anything more than tool-using animals in cheap costumes. Everybody else is "Here, this is where he becomes Darth Vader" and I'm "You killed the Tusken Raiders? Fine with me."

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

I admit it's a minority opinion, but that whole plot point did nothing for me.

Maybe it's because I think of Tusken Raiders as "monsters" instead of "people," probably because we've seen absolutely nothing to suggest they're anything more than tool-using animals in cheap costumes. Everybody else is "Here, this is where he becomes Darth Vader" and I'm "You killed the Tusken Raiders? Fine with me."

With the force it always seems to be about what the person feels and not if the target of those feelings deserves it or not. Jedi can clearly kill all they want as long as it's for the common good and not out of passion, so from a force user's perspective it's less about killing the Tusken and more about flying into a murderous rage which had the by-product of a few dead Tusken and opened Anakin up to the dark side.

 

[Dr W]

So when's the clickbait articles coming out on how Klaud has been corrupted by the alt-right and is now a hate symbol? Can we get the blue checkmarks to start REEEEEEEEing about it, or best of all, get Klaud to the SPLC and ADL?

I think Based Klaud needs to get a foothold on Twitter, Reddit, and some other boards on 4chan. So far he's just a /tv/ meme.

Unofficial Kiwi Farms donut steal Science Fantasy Setting when?

Fuck it I'll get to writing.

 

[PeeveTheSheev]

Meanwhile, in my Youtube recommendations - LEGO attracting big viewer numbers, on the official channel with millions of subscribers no less.

 

[Dr W]

Meanwhile, in my Youtube recommendations - LEGO attracting big viewer numbers, on the official channel with millions of subscribers no less.

View attachment 964789

Make a burner Youtube account and start dumping spoilers ASAP.
We need maximum salt output.

Also feel free to use this image I made

 

[Kyria the Great]

Make a burner Youtube account and start dumping spoilers ASAP.
We need maximum salt output.
View attachment 964794
Also feel free to use this image I made

I expect an absolute Holocoaster of emotions from Klaud now.

 

[Sinners Sandwich]

Can't believe how fucking awful that thing looks. The dick from Fukushima.

This abomination sums up nu Star Wars pretty well.

 

[Dr W]

I expect an absolute Holocoaster of emotions from Klaud now.

Can't believe how fucking awful that thing looks. The dick from Fukushima.

Based Klaud and spoiler dumping are the best ways to punch the Rat

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

I wish I was on vacation already so I can post dank Klaud kontent.

It's weird in hindsight that Lucas would even want to take on the burden of writing and directing the Prequel trilogy all by himself, rather than take on an executive producer role, he took the hard way and it didn't pay off.

But I'm sure ego played a role, most people didn't know how much of a group effort the OT was back in the day, I certainly didn't even know he didn't actually direct the second and third films until many years after the fact, I'm sure most people just assumed Lucas did everything and the fact that he didn't probably ate at him and he wanted to "prove" Star Wars was truly his baby by doing all of the heavy lifting for the prequel trilogy.

I think it's a mix of ego and regret. The ordeal of the OT for George involved him--a self-admitted shitty writer who didn't enjoy writing--learning how to write movies as well as direct them, and learning how to make warm, people-friendly movies in conjunction with a solid team that challenged him frequently. His best work came out of these constant challenges, but they took their toll, and by RotJ, he just wanted it to be over.

By ESB, George's ultimate contribution to the film was learning to enjoy writing a screenplay, which he did when he wrote the twist about Vader being Luke's father. Credit where it's due; since Leigh Brackett had just passed away, he had to pick up the task. But by the end of it all, George hated the experience of working on ESB. He hated it because he was putting ALL of his money on the line, and he became extremely nervous with how Irvin Kershner was directing the film. In the best case, he would make money and be able to fund his dream of building Skywalker Ranch, which was more intended for indie avantgarde stuff than for more Star Wars; in the worst case, he'd lose it all and would never be independent. That's why he ended up parting ways with Gary Kurtz and Irvin Kershner with RotJ and hired Richard Marquand. Rich was easier to handle and direct from afar than Irvin, and George just wanted to make sure he could move on to Skywalker Ranch and put the experience of ESB behind him. Unfortunately, what followed RotJ was his divorce with Marcia.

Speak for yourself, I've never been this excited to not pay for a movie in my life.

Ya boi, welcome to the new age. It's not about getting excited for movies anymore, it's all about getting hype for their inevitable failure and the ensuing fallout.

West end Games had a chart of how the governmental worked i'll post as soon as i find it.
Edit: Oh that tweet, yeag unfortunately Hamill has TDS too and that wasn't the first time he targeted Trump but that was over the line
Edit 2:

And she's no Jedi, fuck remember how everytime she gets stronger in a fight she's clearly pissed off? Rey should never be on the good guy side, she's closer to being a dark force user
Did you guy knoe Harrison Ford is a friend of Polansky?

Worse yet is the story about the Hamills forcing a woman to have an abortion.

People were saying stuff like "I always liked Harrison Ford better anyways, nyah", but he's a tool too. Look at him virtue-signaling his support for Greta Thunderberg.

 

[BR55]

Jesus, such arrogance. I can't believe he seriously believes that.

No J.J, The saga ended in May 25, 1983, with the "Return of the Jedi". The empire lost in that movie and we got a happy ending. We even got scenes about the whole galaxy celebrating.

You are only finishing the mess started by you in December 2015.

I suppose that's why he is bringing Palpatine back, to "finally" defeat the main villain of the saga... that was already defeated in 1983?

I still can't get over how...Parasitic this whole "The true end of a 40 year saga!" thing is.
Say what you want about stuff like the Vong or Darth Krayt but those were distinct threats with distinct origins.
They didn't try to desperately shoehorn Palpatine into those plots so they could claim that it was all part of some grand saga/plan from the beginning.
But with Ep9 we have all these sniveling little justifications that this was all part of the plan and you memba the Emperor right?
The Emperor is behind it all!
You love Star Wars don't ya you misogynerds?
This the true end of it all, you have to be here for this!
Leaching off of someone elses passion project in so obvious a way is the most Disney thing imaginable.

 

[Intelligent Calcium]

Can't believe how fucking awful that thing looks.

Imagine the smell. From the way his coloration gets darker at the bottom it looks like he just shits where he stands and then smears it around with his giant feet when he walks away.

 

[Standardized Profile]

No J.J, The saga ended in May 25, 1983, with the "Return of the Jedi". The empire lost in that movie and we got a happy ending. We even got scenes about the whole galaxy celebrating.

Not in 1983.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

Klaud mocking isn't hype for IX, it's pointing and laughing at how desperate Jar Jar Abrams is.

Oh my poor boy

KK loves Tentacle monsters.

She is why Klaud is in this

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

I dunno about Klaud. He's more a shambling dick with fat, fleshy antenna-whiskers than a tentacle beast.

If anything, KK is behind the giant sandworm that Rey heals.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

I dunno about Klaud. He's more a shambling dick with fat, fleshy antenna-whiskers than a tentacle beast.

If anything, KK is behind the giant sandworm that Rey heals.

His body is a Giant tentacle thou

 

[Poe-Shen Zcela]

That's fair. Klaud is just a really thicc tentacle with fat folds.

ThErE's AlL kInDs In ThE sTaR wArS uNiVeRsE

 

[NumberingYourState]

He's a mountain of earwax that forgot it was shit from the other orifice and became sentient.

 

[Dr W]

Looking over things, /tv/ has absolutely zero hype for EP IX, so I think I'll focus on spamming Based Klaud on Reddit/Twitter now. Remember that woke people, battered mousewives, and the occasional curious normie will show up to this movie, so these are the people we target.

In this three point plan, I suggest our plan of attack, demonstrating our targets:
Wokes: Klaud is racist omg JJ is a white supremacist nazi confirmed!
Mousewives: Spoilers, spoilers everywhere!
Curious normie: Distract them by hyping Jumanji 2 over EP IX.

And our plans should focus on R/starwars, r/saltierthancrait, and r/starwars leaks on Reddit, and on Twitter, the feeds of Hamill, Ford, Boyega, Marie-Tran, The Mary Sue, Lucasfilm/Disney, JJ, RJ, etc. On Facebook, just dump and run.

I'm mass dumping all the memes and spoilers here for use in this. I understand that I am being a nuclear autist right now but I think autism will be our greatest weapon.

 

[Start a war betamex]

So where do you guys think The rise of Skywalker is going to fit in the definitive starwars movie ranking?

1. Empire strikes back
2. A new hope
3. The last jedi
4. Revenge of the sith / Christmas special
5. Red tails
6. Return of the jedi
7. A phantom menace
8. Attack of the clones
9. Rogue 1
10. Solo
11. The force awakens