Star Wars Griefing Thread (RISE OF THE SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

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Übertroon

Gotta go fast
kiwifarms.net
Been seeing a lot of videos pop up about Rise of Skywalker recently. Is this because the movie became available for streaming or something?
Personally don't like the ones that try and "fix" the sequel trilogy, seems a bit creatively banktrupt to just copy characters from the disney trilogy and put them in more logical situations. If this shit gets rebooted I better not hear the names Rey or Kylo Ren uttered ever again
 

King Dead

Cops are better when they're mecha.
kiwifarms.net
Only good thing I can think of is that it made a lot of people soften on the prequels because for the first time since the Holiday Special we got to see what a REALLY bad Star Wars film looked like.
I said it before, I'll say it again: the sequels as a whole make even the Holiday Special look good. I would rather strap in for an hour and a half of weird late-70's cheese with a vague dusting of Star Wars sprinkled on top than rewatch any of Disney's movies.

I'm trying to think about things I actually enjoyed in Disney Wars, but it's telling that most of what I can think of is things that I enjoy the concept and not the execution. Finn being a runaway stormtrooper: lot of neat things that could have been done, but instead he's sidelined for Marey Sue. Luke having a crisis of faith and becoming a hermit: could have had interesting ramifications on his character, but all it was used for was edgy "sUbvErTeD exPeCtaTiOnS" about how everything you (the audience member) like is shit. Even the twist of Kylo killing Snoke could have been great if Rey had actually decided to go along with him and they led the First Order together. That would have been a real subversion that could have led to some new and unexplored territory in the third movie. But of course our perfect bestest Jedi ever Marey Sue would never do a bad thing ever, so that went nowhere.

The only other thing I genuinely enjoyed is TR8-T0R, and only because it was the only meme-worthy aspect of Disney Wars. Five years of movies, and only one good meme. Embarrassing.
 

Notgoodwithusernames

My wife’s boyfriend is my son
kiwifarms.net
Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those. ;)

View attachment 1203851
Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those. ;)

View attachment 1203851
I said it before, I'll say it again: the sequels as a whole make even the Holiday Special look good. I would rather strap in for an hour and a half of weird late-70's cheese with a vague dusting of Star Wars sprinkled on top than rewatch any of Disney's movies.

I'm trying to think about things I actually enjoyed in Disney Wars, but it's telling that most of what I can think of is things that I enjoy the concept and not the execution. Finn being a runaway stormtrooper: lot of neat things that could have been done, but instead he's sidelined for Marey Sue. Luke having a crisis of faith and becoming a hermit: could have had interesting ramifications on his character, but all it was used for was edgy "sUbvErTeD exPeCtaTiOnS" about how everything you (the audience member) like is shit. Even the twist of Kylo killing Snoke could have been great if Rey had actually decided to go along with him and they led the First Order together. That would have been a real subversion that could have led to some new and unexplored territory in the third movie. But of course our perfect bestest Jedi ever Marey Sue would never do a bad thing ever, so that went nowhere.

The only other thing I genuinely enjoyed is TR8-T0R, and only because it was the only meme-worthy aspect of Disney Wars. Five years of movies, and only one good meme. Embarrassing.
OK you're so fucking wrong. The ST has plenty of great memes... The same way that The Room, Hunt down the Freeman, and Onision do.
 

ZMOT

kiwifarms.net
the concept of a casino planet like Canto Bight
the bomber from Last Jedi (even though it was impractical, it’s a nice nod to WW2 with the bombers needing to be escorted)
except nar shadaa and y-wings exist. even in isolation the first thing was brought down by the hamfisted MUH CAPITALISM message and the latter defies all logic just for effect. there's no point in having a good idea if you don't build on it. like if ruin really wanted to do jerk it to ww2 bombers (which, considering what a fucking soiboi he is is an incredible weird thing to do in the first place), just have the plot require them on a planet instead of breaking the laws of frigging gravity. not to mention y-wings had to be escorted too and star wars spacefights were heavily inspired by ww2 airfights already (as was a lot in the OT in general), so ruin didn't even come up with a novel concept but again tried to rip shit off like the hack he is.
rest is debatable and I'm getting "stop liking what I don't like" ranty already, but iirc renegade stormtrooper is an old pre-jarjar concept, so it's not even really disney.
EDIT because I'm a fucking exceptional individual and completely forgot something even predating that - who is kyle katarn?

nuwars is an expensive cake with shit smeared all over it. sure there's something tasty and edible somewhere but who'd really want to?
 
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Imperial Citizen

kiwifarms.net
except nar shadaa and y-wings exist. even in isolation the first thing was brought down by the hamfisted MUH CAPITALISM message and the latter defies all logic just for effect. there's no point in having a good idea if you don't build on it. like if ruin really wanted to do jerk it to ww2 bombers (which, considering what a fucking soiboi he is is an incredible weird thing to do in the first place), just have the plot require them on a planet instead of breaking the laws of frigging gravity. not to mention y-wings had to be escorted too and star wars spacefights were heavily inspired by ww2 airfights already (as was a lot in the OT in general), so ruin didn't even come up with a novel concept but again tried to rip shit off like the hack he is.
rest is debatable and I'm getting "stop liking what I don't like" ranty already, but iirc renegade stormtrooper is an old pre-jarjar concept, so it's not even really disney.
EDIT because I'm a fucking exceptional individual and completely forgot something even predating that - who is kyle katarn?

nuwars is an expensive cake with shit smeared all over it. sure there's something tasty and edible somewhere but who'd really want to?
I thought Nar Shadaa was just an industrial crime planet and I don’t remember y-wings needing to be escorted. Then again I’m thinking from the video games here so other lore may contradict that.

And Canto Bight was a shitty metaphor for capitalism, but if you told me about a planet in Star Wars that was a resort/casino world with a lot of shady deals going around; I could think of a lot of interesting plots for that planet.

But that’s the problem; we all can think of ten different stories that could go on at Canto Bight, because we know Star Wars and the hacks at Disney don’t.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So apparently the sequel "cast" is now called Rey & Friends (despite that aside from maybe Finn none of them actually know Rey, also I find this funny since this is what I've been calling these assholes for months) as revealed in a new cartoon released on youtube which also reveals that right before Plan IX, Rey & Friends fought jetpack nutroopers and weren't the least bit surprised by them like in the movie. Its clear the animators are copying the scene from the film with the jet troopers, but did they watch it on mute or something and miss the part where the characters don't know what jet troopers are (which was a exceptional scene to begin with)?
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Lucasfilm really is more disconnected than ever if they can't even maintain the simplest shred of consistency, although we already know that after pages from Disney's Alien Archive were shared here.

Also a new comic reveals that Rey was taught how to pilot a ship "properly" by Poe which I guess is a retcon to try and show that she's not a skilled mary sue pilot and only piloted the Falcon out of luck I guess because fuck it.
1585275271648.png


Lastly Wookieepedia removed all the retcons and inconsistencies Plan 9 has from its Continuity section because they thought it was part of a troll campaign to point out the obvious. Even the most obvious ones like Luke's X-Wing suddenly being in working order despite being wrecked in TLJ. The Plan 9 novel goes further into this and "explains" that Rey fixed the wing by using the "door" to Luke's hut to patch it despite not being the case in the movie, and also there's the fact that the door's hut is the "door" to Luke's X-Wing.
1585275697348.png

So there's no fucking way any of this makes sense yet Wookieepedia removed all of these details and more despite keeping inconsistency notes for other articles, but the Disney shit gets a pass of course because whenever its faults are pointed out then its just the work of trolls apparently.
 
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HandsomeDan

Copy Gold Leader, Im already on my way out...
kiwifarms.net
I thought Nar Shadaa was just an industrial crime planet and I don’t remember y-wings needing to be escorted. Then again I’m thinking from the video games here so other lore may contradict that.

And Canto Bight was a shitty metaphor for capitalism, but if you told me about a planet in Star Wars that was a resort/casino world with a lot of shady deals going around; I could think of a lot of interesting plots for that planet.

But that’s the problem; we all can think of ten different stories that could go on at Canto Bight, because we know Star Wars and the hacks at Disney don’t.
In ANH, the XWings were the escort for the YWings, that's why Gold squadron went into the trench first.
 

Uranus Pink

kiwifarms.net
Y-Wings were slightly faster than X-Wings but also were less maneuverable in the OT. SW video games nerfed the Y-Wing by making them much slower while changing their class from strike fighter to strike bomber.

Two massive WWII bomber points Ruin completely missed, were light, medium and heavy bombers had to be fast. Otherwise bombers would be free kills no matter how well armed and/or armored they are against fighters. Interwar period and the Spanish Civil War bringing final confirmation to that.

Second point, when heavy bombers are used to attack shipping like the RAF sinking battleship Tirpitz or USAAF B-17s in the Pacific carried either a huge bomb like Tall Boy or torpedos. Not the same iron bombs use to landscape a city.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Crime dramas or Weekend at Bernie's style stories would've been a good twist and different from the normal Star Wars. Nar Shadaa and even Canto Bight (though I still prefer spelling it Kantobyte) would be great for those.

Seriously, imagine the dark comedy potential of a Gamorrean and a Twilek pretending their dead Hutt boss is still alive, and then getting into serious shit with bounty hunters and Imperial troopers. Or doing a Chinatown or some Dick Tracy style shit on a corrupt shithole like Nar Shadaa.

Star Wars is great splice material for stories.
 

Save the Loli

kiwifarms.net
Crime dramas or Weekend at Bernie's style stories would've been a good twist and different from the normal Star Wars. Nar Shadaa and even Canto Bight (though I still prefer spelling it Kantobyte) would be great for those.
They kind of tried doing that with Solo but nobody saw the movie anyway. Which is too bad, since it's the best of Disney Star Wars (aside from maybe Rogue One but that movie was utterly forgettable outside of the last hour). They should've just cut Han Solo from it entirely, since his actor gives a barely passable performance and he ends up being outshined by Woody Harrelson's character the entire time. Shit, they could've even kept Chewie in the movie and had it end on a line like "so there's this guy named Han Solo who wants to meet us on Kashyyyk". Or have Han himself show up in the last few minutes just like Darth Maul did.

But the biggest problem is Disney's family friendly bullshit would get in the way, like how Han Solo can't smuggle spice anymore because that's a drug reference so he's hauling crystals, tentacle monsters, whatever.
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
kiwifarms.net
So apparently the sequel "cast" is now called Rey & Friends (despite that aside from maybe Finn none of them actually know Rey, also I find this funny since this is what I've been calling these assholes for months) as revealed in a new cartoon released on youtube which also reveals that right before Plan IX, Rey & Friends fought jetpack nutroopers and weren't the least bit surprised by them like in the movie. Its clear the animators are copying the scene from the film with the jet troopers, but did they watch it on mute or something and miss the part where the characters don't know what jet troopers are (which was a exceptional scene to begin with)?
View attachment 1204337View attachment 1204338
Lucasfilm really is more disconnected than ever if they can't even maintain the simplest shred of consistency, although we already know that after pages from Disney's Alien Archive were shared here.

Also a new comic reveals that Rey was taught how to pilot a ship "properly" by Poe which I guess is a retcon to try and show that she's not a skilled pilot and only piloted the Falcon out of luck I guess because fuck it.
View attachment 1204340

Lastly Wookieepedia removed all the retcons and inconsistencies Plan 9 has from its Continuity section because they thought it was part of a troll campaign to point out the obvious. Even the most obvious ones like Luke's X-Wing suddenly being in working order despite being wrecked in TLJ. The Plan 9 novel goes further into this and "explains" that Rey fixed the wing by using the "door" to Luke's hut to patch it despite not being the case in the movie, and also there's the fact that the door's hut is the "door" to Luke's X-Wing.
View attachment 1204345
So there's no fucking way any of this makes sense yet Wookieepedia removed all of these details and more despite keeping inconsistency notes for other articles, but the Disney shit gets a pass of course because whenever its faults are pointed out then its just the work of trolls apparently.
This should just be the reaction emoji for this board to everything Disney is doing star wars related.
1585323724980.png
 
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