Star Wars Griefing Thread (RISE OF THE SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

SuperSheep

75 Points of Flying Fluffy Damage
kiwifarms.net
Because they're forcing her into the position of being this trilogy's Boba Fett. But the thing is, you can't just make Boba Fett. Boba Fett just happens. I mean shit, the guy that shouted, "TRAITOR!!!" to Finn in the first movie is the closest thing we've got to a true Boba Fett type character. Mysterious, very few lines, pretty much a background character, did something badass, but the fans loved him anyway and want more.
I would argue that Captain Phasma is the Boba Fett of the new Trilogy. Boba Fett looked cool and had a cool set of armour, but ultimately went down like a punk.
 

Gordon Cole

Yep, he's dead
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
A female character with purple hair? Sabine Wren wasn't enough pandering?
Laura Dern is too good for this movie.
So, what do you say guys

Massive turd or surprisingly decent?
IIRC, J.J. Abrams was basically told to take a backseat with the future movies due to wanting to rehash New Hope over and over, so they're going ahead...and rehashing the next two movies.

Bite me Kathleen Kennedy, before we get to this trilogy's version of the Ewoks.
 

Vault Boy

Corporate Mascot of Vault-Tec.
kiwifarms.net
Say what you will about the Prequels, at least they have unique designs and conflicts that were ripe for expanding upon. So far, the Sequel trilogy is the Empire 2.0 vs. the Rebel Alliance 2.0, was there some kind of fucking technological dark age after Episode 6?

Still looking forward to TLJ, but I wish the ST was more of its own thing rather than trying to ape the OT so much.
 

Overcast

Perfection has no age
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net

Sure did. Why people think this character is a badass, I will never know. Boba Fett sucks.
Say what you will about the prequels, but his dad Jango was infinitely more badass. Well known bounty hunter, killed his partner to keep her from squealing, had an ENTIRE CLONE ARMY made from his DNA, and he went down fighting a Jedi in his prime. Head cut off and everything. He even had a semi-decent game starring him.

What did Boba Fett do? All he did was follow the main characters and told Daddy Vader where they were. That's literally the only thing I can remember him doing that wasn't just standing around looking cool.
 

Replicant Sasquatch

Do Lolcows Dream of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon?
kiwifarms.net
Say what you will about the prequels, but his dad Jango was infinitely more badass. Well known bounty hunter, killed his partner to keep her from squealing, had an ENTIRE CLONE ARMY made from his DNA, and he went down fighting a Jedi in his prime. Head cut off and everything. He even had a semi-decent game starring him.

What did Boba Fett do? All he did was follow the main characters and told Daddy Vader where they were. That's literally the only thing I can remember him doing that wasn't just standing around looking cool.
Jango was an idiot flunkie who got jerked around in the same arcane power game as everyone else. He wasted everyone's time by hiring his fuckup intern to do his dirty work and IIRC that bullshit with the bugs was his idea. Then instead of doing his job and killing his target while the Jedi were distracted he follows her so he can kill her for screwing up. And even though he could just blow them up he uses that dumbass poison dart which can apparently be used to track him. I'm not sure who's the shittier bounty hunter: Jango for being such an idiot or Zam for just blindly going along with his plans.

And of course he fucking dies like a bitch.
 

Replicant Sasquatch

Do Lolcows Dream of Electric Hedgehog Pokemon?
kiwifarms.net
They were fucking horrible and any new Star Wars movie, regardless of its relative quality, will automatically be better than them, like every other movie that has ever existed or will ever exist.
TFA had a few problems with the story but at least it wasn't fundamentally broken like The Phantom Menace.

I'm more nervous about the spin-off movies. Rogue One was alright but the last five minutes was fucking embarrassing. I've never wondered what the AAA Blockbuster version of a cumshot looked like but I guess I know now.
 
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