Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

HandsomeDan

Copy Gold Leader, Im already on my way out...
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My buddy likes to point out that there's a bit of a plot hole between the prequels and originals - made worse with all the expanded material (both original multimedia and CGI) - Owen & Beru.

Of course a lot of that is due to the films themselves since somehow Vader never thought to go check the house he knew his stepsiblings were staying for Obi-Wan.

His fix fic is that rather than Asoka, Beru should have been in her place and as a literal lost little sister (Beru Skywalker). Then rather than Rex, Owen should have been a regular soldier and war buddy of Anakin. In both the movies and the shows, this would give someone his own age to bounce off of and given the audience a viewpoint of how everyone else in the galaxy viewed the war outside of the Jedi, politicians, and clones. Eventually he would marry Beru and give Anakin more to lose in the war than just a wife and child. Through their friendship, we could watch Owen's horror at Anakin falling from the friend he used to know before he goes fleeing to Tatooine for refuge.

Then at least we could smile in the episodes when Obi-Wan shows up and drags Anakin and Owen off on a new mission for the war. Because then we would understand the line "He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did."



He should have sent Thrawn off into the unknown regions and then the sequel trilogy should have replaced Hux with him. (I mean you can still keep Domhnall Gleeson as the actor - paint him blue and I think he'd make a dang fine Thrawn.)
I always thought that Beru should always have been Anakin's actual sister, with an actual bitter relationship between Anakin and what he saw as her less than worthy husband Owen.
 

vern

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He should have sent Thrawn off into the unknown regions and then the sequel trilogy should have replaced Hux with him. (I mean you can still keep Domhnall Gleeson as the actor - paint him blue and I think he'd make a dang fine Thrawn.)
Or they could of just lifted the Thrawn trilogy wholesale and not do what they did with the ST.
Besides it was kinda to late to introduce him into the ST since TFA came out in 2015 and Thrawn wasn't re canonized until the 3rd season of rebels in 2016. If they really wanted to add him it would of been in TLJ but then there you would of risked the probably of Johnson using him as another form to subvert our expectations.
 
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GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
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Only because it tanked at the box office, if it made its money back or worse megabucks. Hollywood would have been flooding the theaters with more movies with that kind of CGI.
CGI which supposedly included giving all the cat people butt holes before being edited out. Imagine the world where Cats was a success and its "art style" became the norm...

Also the Tusken Raider language/alphabet is some kind of warped version of Arabic and Muslim calligraphy in Disney canon.
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I don't get it. Disney's Woke Brigade is willing to decry the Vong as "Islamaphobic" but Disney making savage sand assholes literal space muslims isn't? Then again, they have been trying to make them dindus and troons in some novels...
 

Gallofag

McIntosh hates Mexican Disney characters.
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CGI which supposedly included giving all the cat people butt holes before being edited out. Imagine the world where Cats was a success and its "art style" became the norm...

Also the Tusken Raider language/alphabet is some kind of warped version of Arabic and Muslim calligraphy in Disney canon.
View attachment 1203352
I don't get it. Disney's Woke Brigade is willing to decry the Vong as "Islamaphobic" but Disney making savage sand assholes literal space muslims isn't? Then again, they have been trying to make them dindus and troons in some novels...
The Vong is Islamic? How?
 
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Notgoodwithusernames

My wife’s boyfriend is my son
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The Vong is Islamic? How?
kind of reminiscent of when some people called the Covenant from Halo islamophobic (despite the covenant being more of a hybrid between the Catholic Church and Islam but with aliens). NJO and Halo aren't anti Islam but anti extreme religious fundamentalism to the point of (literal) xenophobia.
 

Mississippi Motorboater

Untouchable Busty Southern Belle
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The Vong is Islamic? How?
The claims typically go like this: a zealous religious society that believes in essentially cutting a bloody swath against the part of the world that doesn't cow-tow to their religious beliefs, all while committing acts of pseudo-terrorism like dropping moons on planets like Serpindal or bombing planets like Ithor into oblivion. It's worth nothing that the timing of the NJO story arc only made these comparisons all the more rampant. as they were coming out just pre and post 9/11.

Now, the thing that the cum-swilling soy brigade doesn't realize when they make these comparisons is that they're inadvertently making statements about Islam as a whole that the writers don't even vaguely hint at, which says more about them than the writers' intentions. Further, if there's any Islamic group that the Vong resemble, it wouldn't be the modern cabal of splinter terrorist factions---the Vong are not some small, ragtag threat: they're an entire legion, an empire waging a mass crusade in numbers that all but blanket the known galaxy. If anything, they have a stronger resemblance to the Ottoman Turks....sweeping into Europe, deflouring sacred capitals like Constantinople (or Coruscant, in this case), defiling holy sites and libraries to deal a blow to morale (which the Vong also do with the libraries of Obroa-Skai), and imprisoning and enslaving heretic civilians before indoctrinating them into their religion by force (the Enslaved Invasion Force on planets like Dantooine being similar to the Janissary Corps). The Vong's efforts have more in common with historical Islamic military efforts like the Ottoman Invasion, and even the Crusades, considering their behavior. But the biggest thing that Disney Drones completely omit in their assessment of the Vong is that for all the comparisons one could make between them and any Islamic movement, the fact of the matter is that the authors have explicitly stated that the Vong do in fact have a real-world cultural basis of inspiration...and that is Mesoamerican Tribal Culture, not Islam. In the Round Robin Table Interview that was included with the Unifying Force Bonus CD-Rom (which yes, I own), the authors state outright that sacrifical war-obsessed cultures like the Aztecs informed how the Yuuzhan Vong behaved, looked, and spoke. Their self-flaggelation, obsession with pain as some kind of celestial connection to the gods, their deities, their hierachies, and their sacrificial nature are all traced back to tribes like the Aztecs...who, yes, did the exact kind of depraved shit that the Vong do in the name of religious piety, to both themselves and innocent people within their culture. But of course, this kind of thing completely eludes the Disney Defense Force, because they're too busy touching themselves to hardcore BDSM erotica of Rey and Kylo to do anything even remotely resembling research.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
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So Marvel decided to start a whole new comic run based entirely around an old EU character from the 80s comics, Beilert Valance, the cyborg bounty hunter who escaped the Empire's ranks. This is the first Disney media to focus entirely around an old character that's not a donut steal version of them, which is odd, and they obviously take more creatively liberties to make it sequel friendly, like throwing in a lot of references to sequel shit like TLJ and Solo and sequel aliens like the Aboneedo things, also Aphra because why not I guess (gotta make sure to remind the readers that they're BBQ friendly despite that Aphra is an obnoxious reddit-meme spewing cunt). Its called Bounty Hunters. It also forces in Boba and Bossk to try and raise interest because the writers didn't think this character wasn't enough to sell by himself, and they're right since he's better known as a villain. And they probably want Aphra's chucklefucks to buy this shit too.

It doesn't seem to be attracting a lot of attention from Disney drones due to being based on an old IP, and old-only fans aren't talking about it much due to being mixed with new shit and Aphra. The only Disney drones attracted to it right now are Aphra waifufags due to her being part of this shit. Corona isn't helping it much either.

Its un-engaging from what I understand. Only positive thing I can say about it is that the art is nice, but the artist doesn't seem to put much though into why things look the way they do. Look at this shit.
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The character is doing a generic "super speed" anime slash pose, you know the one where a character swings their sword and then all of a sudden they teleport behind their targets and get slashed up, but here she's shooting them with her gun and then just does a superspeed anime slash despite already gunning them down, and how she even does this makes no sense without using anime logic. She's not even a jedi. And she cuts all of them at once with her tiny bayonet blade somehow. The art ranges from decent to "sloppy sketches that barely form shapes". Like they just draw a bunch of black lines and then pour ink over it. Its fast and cheap, as expected from Marvel.

Also the preview for the third issue of this comic implies they'll kill off Bossk possibly as a cheap sales gimmick attempt at boosting sales, but he won't actually die here because according to Disney shit, Bossk is already dead, having died on Jabba's barge in ROTJ because fuck it. Also Aphra might as well be as omnipresent as that Hondo pirate considering that she pops up in everything too. Honestly the presence of Aphra and the Abo thing alone is cringe enducing.
 
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Safir

The woman from Snowy River
True & Honest Fan
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The Vong is Islamic? How?
Disparate effect and semantic sleight of hand. There are no Christian theocracies (not counting the Vatican because you don't have to live there), so any modern criticism of theocracy in general is criticism of the theocracies which actually exist. Second, "anti-Islamic" as a conflation of "this has a negative effect on Islam" and "this is an illegal and deplorable infringement of Muslims' human rights".
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
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Or they could of just lifted the Thrawn trilogy wholesale and not do what they did with the ST.
Besides it was kinda to late to introduce him into the ST since TFA came out in 2015 and Thrawn wasn't re canonized until the 3rd season of rebels in 2016. If they really wanted to add him it would of been in TLJ but then there you would of risked the probably of Johnson using him as another form to subvert our expectations.
I mean ideally sure, but part of the problem is that it had been WAY too long in real life for a straight adaptation of Thrawn. Unless you want them to do that horrible Tarkin youth-a-izing to Mark Hanill for the entire trilogy and we have the problem of Carrie dying before it was finished.

No, we have to admit that there was no way Disney even with the best of intentions was going to be able to give us a Thrawn trilogy and that liberties would have to be taken to make it fit with the options we had in reality.
 

Notgoodwithusernames

My wife’s boyfriend is my son
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In more positive news Jedi Academy is apparently coming out on switch today and episode 1 racer is also getting a rerelease. Hopefully this means we’ll see other titles like the KOTOR games, the first 2 dark forces games, the rogue squadron trilogy, the x wing/tie fighter games, classic battlefront, and republic commando get modern console releases
 

Flexo

Can i get "kill all humans" on random.txt?
kiwifarms.net
In more positive news Jedi Academy is apparently coming out on switch today and episode 1 racer is also getting a rerelease. Hopefully this means we’ll see other titles like the KOTOR games, the first 2 dark forces games, the rogue squadron trilogy, the x wing/tie fighter games, classic battlefront, and republic commando get modern console releases
Thanks to GoG and Steam we've always had those. ;)

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Imperial Citizen

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That’s gotta be some good things about the Disney trilogy guys like, right?
Finn being a renegade stormtrooper, the riot armor of TR-8R, the concept of a casino planet like Canto Bight, that weird squid alien Han and Chewie were smuggling, and the bomber from Last Jedi (even though it was impractical, it’s a nice nod to WW2 with the bombers needing to be escorted)

Disney has a lot of concepts that would be interesting to explore like the Knights of Ren, the Cold War stalemate between the New Republic and the Empire, or Luke being disillusioned about being a Jedi, but they failed because they don’t care enough about the franchise. The executives looked at what they were being told would sell (JJ being attached to “nerdy” reboots, attracting a diverse audience, and big epic fights) and went with that because when you’ve spent $4 billion on an IP, you need to show your investors that you’ll make their money back.
 
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