Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

Robert James

Not your average John Smith
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So just destroy the foundation because you like the roofing? pretty backwards logic if you ask me.
I think it's more the owner already burnt down the house so this time let's rebuild it into a mansion. I mean I can't say it could end up any worse, and it gives who ever is writing it a lot more characters to fuck up so the main cast can actually stay the same but you can have new stories told. Mind you this all hinges on whoever is making the movie/series/book giving a shit about the OT and the lore and working in the new characters in an actually intelligent way.

Luke sure got some dick sucking lips in that comic, how much you wanna bet the artist is a fag who fantasizes about having Luke feel his force?
Because none of us have had enough pain
They've already made him jack off his alien lover and drink his splooge so dick sucking lips and trooning is the least egregious thing they did to Luke.
 

TruthSeekingDaimon

kiwifarms.net
But people are sick to death of remakes, especially with the truly beloved films of our culture. Remember the reaction that happened when it came out that some schmucks were thinking of remaking The Princess Bride? Yeah, pretty much everyone and their dog came out of the woodwork to say "STOP! DO NOT!" in a single unified voice. Now imagine that but with an even bigger and more rabid fanbase.
Something terrifying just crossed my mind. . .
What if Disney buys the Tolkien mythos?
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Something terrifying just crossed my mind. . .
What if Disney buys the Tolkien mythos?
Oh, the fucking hacks who own the license are already trying to wokify it on whatever streaming service they made, made all the easier since Christopher is dead.

The only solution is to either have them crash the industry, or you just storm Hollywood and Day of the Rope them.
 

jellycar

Now featuring 100% more Natasha Romanoff
kiwifarms.net
Excuse me, I need to Slaughter some Schmucks. The Princess Bride is perfect and will never need to be remade, anyone who wants to mess with it deserves to be exiled to The Moon.
Cary Elwes is against it. He vocally spoke out against it. William Goldman is dead unfortunately so it's up to Rob, Mandy, Robin, Billy, etc to speak out against it. It is unnecessary.

Cary is a treasure and I curse all that fat shamed him.
 

ExceptionallyExceptional

I farted in my hazmat suit.
kiwifarms.net
Cary Elwes is against it. He vocally spoke out against it. William Goldman is dead unfortunately so it's up to Rob, Mandy, Robin, Billy, etc to speak out against it. It is unnecessary.

Cary is a treasure and I curse all that fat shamed him.
I actually went out and bought a hardcover copy of his book "As You Wish" when it first came out, which was a damn good read! Lots of good Andre the Giant stories in there. Also a lot of interesting "Making of" shit, like the fact that him and Mandy actually learned to fence for their fight scene, Cary broke his foot riding Andre's ATV, and Rob Reiner had to recuse himself from the set because he couldn't stop laughing at Billy Crystal's ad-libbing and kept ruining takes.
 

jellycar

Now featuring 100% more Natasha Romanoff
kiwifarms.net
I actually went out and bought a hardcover copy of his book "As You Wish" when it first came out, which was a damn good read! Lots of good Andre the Giant stories in there. Also a lot of interesting "Making of" shit, like the fact that him and Mandy actually learned to fence for their fight scene, Cary broke his foot riding Andre's ATV, and Rob Reiner had to recuse himself from the set because he couldn't stop laughing at Billy Crystal's ad-libbing and kept ruining takes.
Cary seems like a fun guy lol. Hes in the most random shit.
He did that Oogyloves film with Chazz Palaminteri, Toni Braxton, Jamie Pressly, Christopher Lloyd, and Cloris Leachman. I can only assume all 6 were held up at gunpoint.
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Yes. I believe they were forced.
 

jellycar

Now featuring 100% more Natasha Romanoff
kiwifarms.net
He was in an episode of Law and Order and Emily Van Camp aka Sharon Carter played his daughter. What's doubly ironic is that she used to date Chris Pratt aka Star Lord....and they played siblings on a show. But then Crisp Rat also played his son in an indie film around 2007ish?

Oh and Cary was in the dreaded Wonder Woman pilot with Pedro Pascal.

I hope he doesn't appear in Star Wars because he deserves better.
 

GeneralFriendliness

General of Dokar's Soy-Slaying Anti-Lego Regiment
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Honestly, I can't imagine too many people being happy with remakes, especially since you just fucking know Disney will take plenty of opportunities to "improve" the movies in ways that are going to leave them more or less the same pile of shit that the ST is. They can't help themselves.
Frankly I'd just declare the ST non-canon or a "alternate timeline" or some shit, blame Kathleen Kennedy for her agenda driven meddling, then make Star Wars films that are set either long before or long after the events of the Lucas Star Wars films.
Hell, you could even justify bringing Luke back with an explanation that those in whom the Force is strong live much longer than normal members of their race, which was something the EU did. Set it, I dunno, 100 years after the events of the originals? Long enough that Han and Leia are both dead and their kids have had kids.
Pretty much this but Luke could just as easily be a Force Ghost too (not saying he can't be alive 100 years later, but its best Disney's shit takes place a bit further than that). Maybe Leia too, that's what they did with Legacy and it worked. One of the first pitches for a sequel I made in this thread was having it be set 200 or 300 years after the OT (that way the idiots in charge can do whatever the fuck they want without having to worry about consistency since that's clearly too damn hard for filmmakers these days), but have Luke serve as a guide in the form of a Force Ghost, have Leia also be a force ghost or Luke's flashback, Han doesn't need to appear because Ford didn't want to be in this anyway, so just keep him as a flashback or feature the Smuggler's Guild in the film and add a big statue or holo-statue of Han and Chewbacca somewhere in there that moves, and Lando can appear as a hologram somewhere important or on advertisements selling cheap products because I could honestly see Lando as the type of guy who would sell his image for profits. R2 and 3PO would be the only characters essentials for the cast since they are for all intents and purposes truly immortal physically and the narrators of the story, R2 being the chronicler and 3PO being his interpreter. Which is ironic considering how worthless they were treated in JJ's godawful sequels (fuck him for reducing R2 to a piece of furniture and 3PO as a one note joke), especially since it was they who carried the stories of the previous films for the most part. But like I said then, SW really never needed a sequel trilogy. ROTJ ended on a solid note that all you would need after that is continuations in other forms that simply serve to show what the gang is up to years later in stories unrelated to the primary plot of the original six films (stopping Palpatine) rather than carry on the narrative of those tales (much like how the Thrawn Trilogy and Luke's stories about his Jedi Academy did, and I'm talking about the actual academy that didn't suck, not Disney's). But if a sequel trilogy had to be made, then the best option would've been to just go with George's original outline as it took place in a period that was never explored before in any media (50 years after ANH) and featured a whole new villain faction and new characters that wasn't just a hollow OT repeat with lens flares that deconstructs everything to prop itself up.
Luke looked like a girl in the Star Wars Holiday Special because of the car accident
Everybody knows that. But his face wasn't feminine in ANH, ESB or ROTJ though (less plastic mostly in ESB). Just the Holiday Special.
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I half expect this one to be edited into something inappropriate.

The Tolkien mythos has already been dragged through the mud many times over the years. None of it sticks. I think it's different because the Tolkien canon is "closed" in a way that Star Wars isn't.
Being "closed" hasn't stopped modern media from trying to change it, and they will eventually. The problem with SW is that all this is happening while George is still alive, unlike Tolkien. Tolkien died before he could see people forcefully try to alter his works or the lore of his setting with new remakes, prequels or video games. George however just sold his baby off to Disney and hardly ever speaks out on the matter aside from a few quotes and a white slaver comment. It doesn't help that he kept trying to change the continuity of his films and was always inconsistent on his views concerning the Jedi, Force, EU, Han shot first, etc.
 
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Mississippi Motorboater

Untouchable Busty Southern Belle
kiwifarms.net
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I half expect this one to be edited into something inappropriate.
The easy, throwaway defense for this kind of thing is: "IT'S A COMIC INTENDED FOR REALLY YOUNG KIDS, OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO LOOK LESS REALISTIC AND MORE CARTOONISH!!!1!"

But there are ways to re-interpret the Original Trilogy for a younger audience without resorting to an art style that's titanically-ugly to the point of being repulsive. In fact, it's been done before.

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