Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

Dave.

Not all heroes wear brass.
kiwifarms.net
Not to completely derail the thread, but am I the only one that feels like Star Wars and Star Trek (Star Trek is really overrated to me) are a bit overhyped even before the Disney movement took them over? I have lots of respect for those movies and what they did and their influence on a cult community that followed, but I feel like these movies overshadow a lot of other influential films that maybe did the same things long before George Lucas took the helm but nobody's heard of them like Forbidden Planet. Not an attack on anyone who likes these films to death I totally get why people really enjoy it.
 

Getting tard comed

kiwifarms.net
Not to completely derail the thread, but am I the only one that feels like Star Wars and Star Trek (Star Trek is really overrated to me) are a bit overhyped even before the Disney movement took them over? I have lots of respect for those movies and what they did and their influence on a cult community that followed, but I feel like these movies overshadow a lot of other influential films that maybe did the same things long before George Lucas took the helm but nobody's heard of them like Forbidden Planet. Not an attack on anyone who likes these films to death I totally get why people really enjoy it.
I think it's hard to call Star Wars(A New Hope) a cult film when it's the first blockbuster in history(I'm aware of Jaws, I'll fight you on this anyway). Star Trek has always been a cult community relatively speaking but Star Wars was an ultra mega hit from the get go. It literally changed Hollywood and how movies were made. For better or for worse.

Besides the technology aspects and special effects Lucas and his crew invented to make the movie, it's really difficult in a post Star Wars world to understand the impact it had. The opening alone had never been seen before. I'm talking specifically about the Tantive IV being chased by a Star Destoryer. How loud, and fast, and relatively action packed that opening is, for a sci-fi movie, in space no less had never been seen before. Any other movies that are overshadowed by Star Wars kind of deserve to be as harsh as that sounds. Most were B movies which means they're not as polished or as tight and the acting and story isnt as well done. Lucas definitely built upon what came before him but he definitely improved on it in a way that doesnt make it close.

Due to its cultural prominence it's really easy to take everything Star Wars did for granted. It's growing up afterr Bonnie and Clyde has been around. You assume blood splotches in movies were always there not realizing it was a revolutionary choice when they first appeared. Or like living in a post Pulp Fiction world. Of course its mainstream to have pop culture references throughout your movie with witty dialogue and movies can definitely be completely out of order. It's hard to realize a significant change after it's become the norm.
 
The trailer was fine, apparently every Tie Fighter can fold now, I thought it was something extra for the Moff. Also extra nostalgia boners for the classic X-Wings, even though I know its pure nostalgia bait I cant help it.

I wonder if all these companies actually think people are going to subscribe to like 12 different streaming services.
All of them think that you'll subscribe to theirs. Because obviously they have the best content.
 

LORD IMPERATOR

kiwifarms.net
Nope Jedi Faggotry is getting involved so get ready for it to go to shit and lots of BABY YODA to sell that sweet sweet Merch to CONSUMERS.
Baby Yoda merch isn't moving as fast as it used to. I just went through Target and the Disney store near my house, and there's whole rows of Baby Yodas that haven't been picked up yet.

Jedi faggotry will most likely involve Filoni's orange waifu because she's a fan-favorite. TCW made sure of it.
 
Baby Yoda merch isn't moving as fast as it used to. I just went through Target and the Disney store near my house, and there's whole rows of Baby Yodas that haven't been picked up yet.

Jedi faggotry will most likely involve Filoni's orange waifu because she's a fan-favorite. TCW made sure of it.
Hence why it will be fucking garbage.

A trend from a year ago and Jedi Waifu, nothing new, nothing interesting. The exact polar opposite of what Star Wars should be doing right now.
 

LORD IMPERATOR

kiwifarms.net
Oh yeah it is Disney.

Star Wars has never jerked off to small corner of it's universe and ignored all the interesting shit that could be done before Disney. How many times is there a Hoth Stage again?
There were plenty of interesting shit they did back in the day, like the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight games, the KOTOR games, the Thrawn trilogy, Dark Empire/Crimson Empire, New Jedi Order, the Force Unleashed, among other things. Heck, Battlefront II classic was about the average day in the life of some Stormtrooper, and it still wound up being more compelling than all three Sequels:


So while there's a shit ton of Hoth levels, there's also a shit ton of other content that did its own thing.
 

Ghostse

Gorilla Channel Executive Producer
kiwifarms.net
Not to completely derail the thread, but am I the only one that feels like Star Wars and Star Trek (Star Trek is really overrated to me) are a bit overhyped even before the Disney movement took them over? I have lots of respect for those movies and what they did and their influence on a cult community that followed, but I feel like these movies overshadow a lot of other influential films that maybe did the same things long before George Lucas took the helm but nobody's heard of them like Forbidden Planet. Not an attack on anyone who likes these films to death I totally get why people really enjoy it.
You're wrong but not wrong.

I think one of the issues, especially as a modern watcher, is just embedded into other pop-culture the movies are. There is no shock, not even the tiniest bit of surprise or suspense when watching. There is something nearly timeless with Star Wars, but I can understand anyone who grew up in the age of CGI not getting it.

Star Trek also did a lot of firsts, but as hokey as some the episodes are, try holding their addressing of themes against any thing at the time. And I will fucking murder you with a baby yoda "The Child"/Porg dual-weild build if you fucking say Dr. Who), or really all the way to Next Gen.
 

Dave.

Not all heroes wear brass.
kiwifarms.net
You're wrong but not wrong.

I think one of the issues, especially as a modern watcher, is just embedded into other pop-culture the movies are. There is no shock, not even the tiniest bit of surprise or suspense when watching. There is something nearly timeless with Star Wars, but I can understand anyone who grew up in the age of CGI not getting it.

Star Trek also did a lot of firsts, but as hokey as some the episodes are, try holding their addressing of themes against any thing at the time. And I will fucking murder you with a baby yoda "The Child"/Porg dual-weild build if you fucking say Dr. Who), or really all the way to Next Gen.
I think it comes down to not being born during that time. The shock and awe that the films should've had on me is not there because I've never been immersed in the blockbuster hype the film had at the time. And that's not say I didn't enjoy the films as they are, as I said mad respect for what those films did at the time, I get a little fatigued seeing star wars references done to death in comedy or seeing some guy become a blubbering mess watching a trailer.

I will say this though, the video games had a bigger impact on me then the movies. KOTOR and those lego star wars games were the bomb.
 
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GeneralFriendliness

A.W. "Noa" Brimley
True & Honest Fan
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Just watched the Smacktalk video on Star Wars, it was pretty neat but wouldn't you know it? Plan IX's Rotten Tomatos score is stuck on 86% even to this day.
STILL?! After all this time? Despite getting backlash from both nu-fans and shill sites for supposedly devaluing TLJ and reducing Kelly Mary Tran to nothing? No wonder I hardly see Rotten Tomatoes be brought up as proof anymore by drones.
4: People's interest in Star Wars may be beginning to fade. Especially with real-world problems becoming worse every day. People have less free time when joblessness and urban riots become more of a problem. That, or people just re-watch, re-read, or re-play old Legends stuff while ignoring the new stuff.
Its likely varying degrees of all of that, but I also think it may be due to the fact that entertainment in general is failing to achieve its primary purpose: failing at being entertaining and offering no escapism from the hardships of real life. Instead content creators want to force as much irl drama, politics and wokeness as possible with all the subtlety of an oncoming train, effectively giving you no reason to engage in media when all you're getting into is the same misery you can find anywhere else. Only people who can find garbage like Disney Wars, Star Drek or Dr. Tumblr entertaining are spoiled brats who live up high on ivory towers who consider misery, revolutions, political drama and anarchy the ultimate escapism from their rich yet boring lives. Hence why most common joes these days who aren't just eating up whatever Netflix pumps out are just watching old stuff while kids play Minecraft all day while watching old stuff to build in Minecraft. Hell most people admit they only subscribe to Netflix and Disney+ for nostalgia if nothing else.
Man, even after the break I took from engaging with Disney Wars (so I don't get too depressed too quickly with the state of things), they're still finding new ways to deinigrate the series and their monopoly?

Boyega's a race-baiting bitchy boy, but broken clocks are right twice. Anyhow, I guess my questions are:

1) Any word on Squadrons? Looked like the only halfway decent Disney Wars product in a while.

2) Is Galaxy's Edge still a fucking travesty?
1) I posted about it before. First trailer got millions of views but all following trailer releases can't break past 200k or 400k, which is an overall decline shared by pretty much all SW content on youtube. Discussion for it is pretty much dead even on reddit and twitter. The game's interface is also subject to a lot of potential issues but the lamest revelation was that the game is actually a tie-in for the Alphabet Squadron series of novels starring that polyamorous queer protagonist with a rebellious attitude. I expect the game to do alright, but not great, not even Fallen Order good.

2) Yes. More so than ever. To try and salvage it, Disney has been trying to force it down everyone's throats via terrible video games, which include a VR game and a Sims update which everyone hated and is now the most hated SW-related thing since the Resistance trailer. Disney also released animated shorts to promote the park but the videos got almost no views or even discussions anywhere outside of reddit. @Adamska gave a very good analysis of just how poorly the videos are doing.
The term that was used in episode 2 was unit which since the clones are military most people assumed the term was in reference to military units which meaning that the clone army was either 3.2 million companies, 3.2 million batallions, or 3.2 million regiments which are definitely large enough numbers to fight a galaxy spanning war. a force of 3.2 million soldiers is definitely a formidable one but its nowhere near enough to fight a war on a galactic scale. I think Filoni also had the same misconception of units= individual troopers because of that one arc in season 3 where Kamino lobbies for more funding
Oh he did, but Filoni somehow made it worse, listing it as only 1.2 million soldiers but then expanded it to 5 million as the series progressed. Adding to a whopping 5 million soldiers... A number which Disney still uses as the maximum capacity. In contrast to Dark Horse comics and other media which greatly expanded the numbers to a believable scale thanks to combining Kamino tech with Khommite tech to increase the production rate of clones while also incorporating local system militaries into the army. However Filoni Wars naturally ignored all of this and just sticks with the measly 5 million mark. It didn't help with how pathetically small the scale of battles were in this series compared to Genndy Wars or Dark Horse which looked and felt like actual wars. Hell in Filoni Wars the battles could hardly be considered anything close to large scale.
3: Baby Yoda has become an icon, as much as Ahsoka Tano. I wouldn't be surprised if they explain her absence in the Sequels by saying that she was taking care of Baby Yoda all this time, so when Rey gives up being a Jedi, Ahsoka can show up with Baby Yoda and rebuild the Jedi Order.
Speaking of the Baby Yoda part of the news, I found proof of the set crew using Baby Yoda as their new mascot.
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If this turned out to be true, then I have my doubts that they will give Baby Yoda away now. Just milk him for all he's got. I'm sure this won't backfire as badly as Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters.


Well time now for the Cosmic Shitpost.

For those who don't remember where I left off last time, here is a link to the previous post in the shitpost entry:
In that same posts are links to past entries (all links have been fixed) for those who just got here and have no idea what this is about which began in March around page 1444:
And for those who just got here, this is a fucking shitposting summary and compilation of SW lore from everything to George's original notes to Dark Horse to KOTOR combined with the info from the unreleased Supernatural Encounters supplement novella. The link to the first post in this series is in the links above.

Now to continue where we left off...
The forsaken corrupt children of the cosmos... the ignorant corruption of time, the selfish corruption of change, the reclusive corruption of spirit, and the arrogant corruption of matter... Splendid Ap, Cold Danda Sine, Horliss-Horliss and Tilotny. They are now the stars of this tale to which key events will now orbit.
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After the lone departure of Horliss-Horliss and forsaking all ties to their progenitors, Ap, Sine and Tilotny now remain alone, but determined to make the ambitious Tilotny's wishes become reality, with those ambitions being the foundation of a new world to rule as their own, bring about the destruction of the creators that made them and finally achieve true apotheosis so as to rule unchallenged. That was their sole motivation for existing now. And now we shall see whether these naive star children can truly achieve these malicious goals they have set out to do.

As Lluxos offer of peace and compassion was rejected, Cold Danda Sine wondered if they had made the right choice, but in the end, it did not matter to him, for he trusted no one, only himself and all he desired was to dissect this thing called reality and unravel every bit of it. Splendid Ap though remained... confused. Once again these things called "thoughts" plagued him. Having been constructed with pre-programmed knowledge but no upbringing to understand this knowledge left our spiral protagonist perturbed.
Lluxos' words and Tilotny's ambitions left the youngest and most ignorant of the trio in severe doubt as these "thoughts" formed and how both entities would impact him, but he remained with Tilotny, knowing that if he went with Lluxos, then their father Wutzek would no doubt wish to destroy them once more even if Lluxos' kind words were true, but Tilotny's ambitions would also likely result in their destruction... But if he defied Tilotny could she destroy him as their father would? If both are antitheses to his existence then what option could there possibly be left? Destruction for destruction's sake in accordance with the knowledge he inherited is this concept known as "Evil" which is apparently a "negative", but the knowledge he inherited came from his father who is of a negative nature due to his desire for destruction, but Lluxos is a positive and he shares this knowledge... but what if he's actually a negative? But what if not? Lluxos offered peace which is a positive and his father created them yet failed at destroying them, so they could not be the negatives. And since going with Tilotny, only destruction has occurred... SO IF THEY'RE THE POSITIVES THEN TILOTNY IS THE N-
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404 - Train of thought not found.
>-200 IQ points
>spiral axis hurts
>why wont big sis stop beating me
>tfw no quantum tendies to make the sad-sad go away
>if only big brudda Horliss wuz here


Tilotny had enough of the doubts that plagued her siblings, once again reminding them of the glory that awaited them but while also reminding them that only through her could their goals be achieved, as maintaining dominance over the two was essential to her plans.

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Eons passed, but what may have only seemed like a few moments to our trio, they remained in their hideaway planning and silently observing the Celestials as they gave rise to new galaxies, birthed new life, helped to guide newborn civilizations and so much more. All the while Tilotny's anger and jealousy grew, she detested watching how the Celestials bonded with one another and how their offspring loved and respected them. She craved this feeling, the desire to lord over others and be adored, but she refused to prostrate herself before the Celestials or be forced to have no direct control over the tiny lifeforms. She wanted to control them all and for all to bow to her. She wanted to stand above all. No... she commanded it. And more and more did the darkness within her grow. Becoming more and more corrupt, destroying any innocently cruel child-like ignorance that remained within her as she became a true incarnation of greed, anger, hate and suffering. It was then that she began to adopt the title of "Onrai", a long forgotten word from the days of the Old Ones which meant "honorable" in their twisted tongues, but "without light" in the tongue of the Celestials. A fitting name for one who was slowly becoming a creature of darkness.

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During this time of observation, the trio came to understand a piece of knowledge within them that had long perplexed them thanks to watching the tiny lifeforms, this knowledge was that a decree was forged for both the Celestials and their creations. An ancient pact that has existed since first decreed by The Maker... So long as mortal life did not war with one another and desired the care of the Celestials, the Celestials could remain to guide them and protect them, but if they should war with one another or no longer desire the presence of their creators then the Celestials would have to depart to allow their creations to flourish and care for themselves as this sacred law of the Four Precepts demanded that the Celestials never control the free will of their creations for they are only guides, not masters.

It was then that Tilotny knew how to be rid of the Celestials forever more and rule over creation unchallenged, for what good is being a deity if she could not destroy the will of those who stood beneath her and above her? "Oh yes", she thought. She "would make for a far better Maker than the so-called Maker" she believed. Soon she would plant the seeds of "rebellion" and "war" into the hearts of all life forms.
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Time continued to pass and now the time was right, with Tilotny now feeling assured in her newfound understanding of her powers as well as in the belief that the Celestials had long since dismissed them as a threat due to their inactivity, so now would be the time to act. As her first decree, Tilotny ordered Splendid Ap to use his distorting talents to project her presence across every world in the Galaxy so that her form and voice would be seen and heard by all life. It would be on this fateful day that the Force itself would be shaken for the first time since the days of the Old Ones and Galaxy would finally come to know their "Mother"...
“Children of the galaxy, I am the Architect who shaped you and all the things in your world. I have come to complete your training! I am the Goddess Onrai, Queen of the Stars, Lady of the Land and Sea, your Maker and Mother. Here too are my brothers, the ineffable Cold Danda Sine and the incomprehensible Splendid Ap. We are the shapers of your future and have come to right a great wrong. The ones who have positioned themselves above you claim to be your benefactors, but they are afraid you will amass greater power than they and have held back your true potential! Bow to me and you shall be given far more than these paltry gifts your jealous overlords have sparingly apportioned out!”
These cold words of propaganda echoed across space to many worlds and inspired great fear in all who heard this creature's voice, but more so than fear there was even more confusion. Many could not comprehend what "Onrai" had said, and the those that could such as the Firstborn were left bewildered by what she had implied... Power? Overlords? Worldly desires? That the Celestials had lied to them? Nonsense. This could not be so. They had no need for great power and materialistic "paltry gifts", such things were completely foreign to them and they certainly had no reason to doubt the Celestials who had given them so much. Surely this "Onrai" is a deceiver who seeks to stir disorder... And yet... not all thought this way at that moment as they gazed up at the beautiful emerald titan that covered their skies. Some mesmerized truly began to question "but what if she's right? What if all we know is falsehoods? Why do we live in peace yet feel as if we are limited?" Even if only a small few thought this way, this was all Tilotny needed... Her words fell on many deaf ears, but if even a few took her words as fact, she knew she succeeded for now she had planted the seeds of suspicion and doubt into the hearts of these tiny movers. The seeds which would lead to the fall of those that stood in her way.

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Though many rejected her words while a few had embraced their doubts, one thing united all mortals at this time... Fear. The fear that "Mother" was spreading just by her presence alone. What could they do now? Even if they knew she spoke falsehoods, would they have to submit to her whims to survive? What will become of them no-
“Do not give in to fear of this "Onrai", for she is a "goddess" of nothing. Please, do not be induced to serve her out of fear or lust of her secrets, for then we would be forced to depart from you, our children, and this would grieve us, for you are our offspring and we are your loving guides who ask for nothing but love in return, and obeisance we pay to the Eternal alone.”
The voice of the Celestials rang across all worlds, disrupting Tilotny's message, cautioning all life to not give into her hollow fear and lies. These words freed many of the fear that plagued them and they knew that this "Mother" would do them no harm.
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Alas, the hearts in which the seeds of doubt had rooted themselves in could not be mended by the Celestials without breaking the most sacred law of the Four Precepts which forbade them from forcing their will onto mortals, and as such they could only offer warnings... For among the Firstborn, the ones most moved by Tilotny's words were none other than one of the great races of the Firstborn closest to godhood, the compassionate Kwoth, the beings who would one day give rise to the founders of the Je'daii Order. The Kwoth did not believe Tilotny's claims of being the "Maker" and their faith in the Celestials and the Force remained unshaken, but as the most curious of the Firstborn, they desired to know what secrets this mysterious "Mother" held. What was she really? What gifts did she speak of? What powers could she grant them? Surely if they learned these powers, they could use them to help their fellow Firstborn, as well as the Celestials by helping to understand this emerald titan. This however, would prove to be their ultimate undoing and would begin their fall from grace... Tilotny could not ask for more as her message was silenced, as now she knew what puppets to use for her grand scheme.

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When the Kwoth beckoned her presence of their own free will, Tilotny made herself known to them. With the aid of Cold Danda Sine, she taught the Kwoth how to manufacture their own Infinity Gates similar to those of their sibling race, the highly intelligent Gree. "Why should the Gree alone be famous for their portals?" she teased. It was she who taught them the Gree's technology and allowed them to produce far grander gates that proved far more impressive in range, size and power.
(I've alluded to this before in the Kwoth's entry back in a previous shitpost.)
The Kwoth happily accepted this newfound knowledge, hoping to use it to better aid their fellow Firstborn, all the while completely unaware of what cruel plans Tilotny had in store for their gates into the unknown. At this time, the Gree watched as the Kwoth mimicked and corrupted their technology, seemingly for the greater good, but the Gree only saw this as an insult. And thus, the first step in what would be the coming of many conflicts began as the Gree cut all ties with the Kwoth and the element known as hostility began to form.
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All is proceeding as she has foreseen...
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Tilotny? Transmission over? Can Ap close portals yet? Sis...?
Ran out of space. Next up in this over-dramatic summary is the real zinger, the Precursors, anathema of the Firstborn and the origins of the those troublesome bastards, the Notron (again, if you forgot which is which, the links to past posts are linked above and are separated into appropriately named sections for easy searching, as I mentioned the Notron a few times in previous posts as being a mischievous species that caused no end of troubles).
 
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There were plenty of interesting shit they did back in the day, like the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight games, the KOTOR games, the Thrawn trilogy, Dark Empire/Crimson Empire, New Jedi Order, the Force Unleashed, among other things. Heck, Battlefront II classic was about the average day in the life of some Stormtrooper, and it still wound up being more compelling than all three Sequels:
All shit involving Jedi and The Empire.

You know what would be great? A show about a dude..lets make him a Bounty Hunter..who is on the outer edge far away from The New Republic and The First order's gay ass slap fight..hunting down criminals..Wholly unconnected to anything involving the eternal dick measuring contest between two fucking brain dead cults.
 
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