Star Wars Griefing Thread (THE RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS) - Safety off

The Nothingness

The one with no body!
kiwifarms.net
In fact I'll need to check to see if Kenobi is ever referred to as Ben in front of Han or Leia in the first movie as I'm not sure he is.
Leia calls him "Obi wan" and it is Luke who suggested that Ben Kenobi might know Obi-Wan.
The only time Kenobi is referred to as "Ben" by Leia is when she first meets Luke.

Luke: I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit and I'm here with Ben Kenobi.

Leia: Ben Kenobi? Where is he?
 

RumblyTumbly

kiwifarms.net
Total sidebar, but as a kid, before the prequels, I always assumed that "Ben" was Kenobi's "Real" name and "Obi-Wan" was his "Jedi name". There is literally nothing to indicate this, but it was my own personal head-canon for reasoning why he would use "Ben Kenobi" as an alias for "Obi-Wan Kenobi". It isn't an alias! Its just his real name that he re-adopted after the Jedi fell.

But then the prequels happened and pretty much killed all of that, lol.
 

qu_rahn

kiwifarms.net
I would have named Kylo Ren "Lando", just to be hilarious.

Being serious, one thing I wish they had done with TFA: Instead of having everything boil down to a ANH repeat, why not follow the map idea to its conclusion and make it more of an Indiana Jones/Raiders style adventure?

The good guys have the map, the bad guys want the map, and instead of it being strictly a map to Luke, why not make it a map to an ancient Sith/Jedi temple that contains some sort of weapon that either side can use and it is a race to get it. Say that Luke went looking for it when the Jedi went down, but never returned and the new characters are taking up his search. Instead of Death Star battle Part 3, we can get a cat and mouse game with traps and all sorts of fun inside a Star Wars style death maze.
You just described the plot to Jedi Knight!


The storyline in Jedi Knight follows Kyle Katarn, who first appeared in Dark Forces. Katarn's father had been murdered by a Dark Jedi over the location of "The Valley of the Jedi" and the game follows Katarn's attempts to find the Valley and confront his father's killers.


The game is set one year after the events of Return of the Jedi. The player controls Kyle Katarn, who made his first appearance as a mercenary in Dark Forces. On Nar Shaddaa, Katarn meets with an information broker droid named 8t88 who tells Katarn that his father, Morgan Katarn, was killed by a Dark Jedi named Jerec, who also intends to rebuild the Empire under his rule. After a lengthy firefight, Kyle retrieves a disk from 8t88 that can only be read by WeeGee, the Katarn's family droid. The disk's message, coupled with WeeGee giving Kyle a lightsaber, compel Kyle to undertake a journey to confront his father's murderers and discover his own latent Force abilities. While on this journey, Kyle learns that seven Dark Jedi are intent on finding the "Valley of the Jedi", a focal point for the Force and sacred ground for the Jedi. Guided by Jedi Master Qu Rahn, who was recently cut down by Jerec, but who lived on as a force spirit, Kyle must defeat Jerec's Seven Dark Jedi in order to stop Jerec from gaining infinite power.

Katarn retrieves the Valley's location and travels with Rebel Alliance agent and close friend Jan Ors to Ruusan, the planet on which the Valley is located. Jerec captures Ors and offers Katarn the choice to execute her or die. The decision Katarn makes here depends on the player's actions within the game up to this point. If Katarn has remained true to the light path he spares Ors, but if he has fallen to the dark side he kills her. With both paths, Katarn has a final confrontation with Jerec in the Valley of the Jedi's core. If the player chose the light side, the game concludes with Katarn being reunited with Ors and carving a monument to Rahn and his dead father; if the player chose the dark path, the game ends with Katarn becoming the new Emperor.
 

GeneralFriendliness

A.W. "Noa" Brimley
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I found an incredibly comprehensive article about Galaxy's Edge and its construction written by a former Disney insider columnist (Al Lutz himself) who offers some new details along with some shit about cancelled elements I've posted about before but with new saucy bits, and best of all... BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA!
Its an interesting read and I suggest you all give it a whirl. It even goes into detail on the drama going on during the park's construction, and its verifiable since everything he says matches up with what I've said and posted about the interiors of the Kylo Ren ride, which he adds further by explaining that the reason the ride didn't open with the rest of the park was due to numerous technical problems and delays. Apparently the ride isn't working as intended. He also mentions a shit ton of other things that were cut including what happened to the aliens and performers that would be at the park, like the Nikto bounty hunter. In short, the reason the park is so bland and worthless is because it was designed for Instagram whores and Bob Chapek along with Disney execs are revealed to be fucking idiots at last! Its like that Tell All book we've been waiting for (almost)!

And to show Disney/Lucasfilm/Jake Lunt's "WTF" decision-making when it comes to aliens, the picture below was their new take on Banthas which were going to be used at Galaxy's Edge before getting replaced by a Dewback which got it quickly cancelled.
Bantha.jpg

And here's the unfinished and cancelled Bantha/Dewback animatronic.
1565751066114.jpeg


Also here's a very fitting meme.
1565750403314.jpeg
 
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Relic 31

This is good... isn't it?
kiwifarms.net
I found an incredibly comprehensive article about Galaxy's Edge and its construction supposedly written by a former Disney insider columnist (Al Lutz) who offers some new details along with some shit about cancelled elements I've posted about before, and best of all... BEHIND THE SCENES DRAMA!
Its an interesting read and I suggest you all give it a whirl. It even goes into detail and drama going on during the park's construction, and its verifiable since everything he says matches up with what I've said about the interiors of the Kylo Ren ride, which he adds further by explaining that the reason the ride didn't open with the rest of the park was to numerous technical problems and delays. Apparently the ride isn't working as intended. He also mentions a shit ton of other things that were cut including what happened to the aliens and performers that would be at the park, like the bounty hunter. Its like that Tell All book we've been waiting for (almost)!

And to show Disney/Lucasfilm/Jake Lunt's "WTF" decision-making when it comes to aliens, the picture below was their new take on Banthas which were going to be used at Galaxy's Edge before getting replaced by a Dewback which got it quickly cancelled.
View attachment 889891
And here's the unfinished and cancelled Bantha/Dewback animatronic.
View attachment 889902

Also here's a very fitting meme.
View attachment 889893
Thanks for linking that article, it was very informative. I really think this part says a lot about the whole situation:

“By 2017, the most cynical execs in Burbank defended the removal of the dinner show by insisting visitors would Instagram photos of their high priced cocktails and thus be entertained just as much as they would have been watching an expensive to operate dinner show.”

The arrogance is staggering.
 

Ghostse

Waffle SS Untermenchenfurher
kiwifarms.net
And we are literally unable to get into "the machinations of the New Republic" since there is nothing of that sort. Until the movie novelizations (that no one reads) came out, no one had any clue what the fuck was going on in Abrams-Wars politically. And even after that, I'd argue that it's still just a really vast void of nonsense, since I doubt that the ones writing the novelizations are particularly clever or educated and thus lack the writing skills to come up with more than "Mon Mothma decided to abondon the military, since she was dumb enough to not realize what would happen in such a situation." There are no "politics" in the movie, most likely since JarJar couldn't lift a scene that establishes just what the hell is going on in the galaxy far far away... and he didn't think we might neet some establishing of how "The good guys won" went to "everyone is miserable, incompetent and is a massive failure."
There are plenty of real life historical examples of victors shooting themselves in the foot in roughly these sorts of ways.

They could have even done their #woke horseshit by having the Republic Military largely outsourced to elements that were open to corruption by secret Imperial sympathizers so when then FO shows up, armed with imperial-design weapons made of components made in Republic shipyards and factories but shipped to the hidden FO bases for assembly, the traitors in the Republic Military turn on any loyalist factions.
Then they destroy Republic command and control, leaving only planetary militia and scattered & isolated Republic forces - outposts deemed small or isolated enough they could be dealt with later. you could even have a nice "This isn't what I agreed to!" moment with one of the traitor generals.

The rest of the movie is surviving Republic elements regrouping for a counter attack to try to stem the advance and give the planetary militia and whatever is left of the Republic fleet time to prepare and fleet by taking out the nuDeathStar.


I still think the best thing they could've done that would've made audiences happy and allow JJ to rip off old plotlines was to make Starkiller Base into a Star Forge-sort of superweapon which eats stars to gain their metals and spits out warships and whatever else they need, so all they need is the crew and shit (which is where people like Finn come in). This was in Dark Empire too IIRC which they're ripping off in Episode IX. There, now you made a scary fucking weapon which could shit out a million of Snoke's flagship if you give them the chance instead of just Death Star but bigger.
That would be have been pretty cool and made sense about how the FO was able to build a fleet.

Boy StarWars.com is really desperate to try and salvage Galaxy's Edge OC hero Vi Moradi. They wrote a whole article describing everything about her with oodles of glorification. Seriously, why would you make a complete nobody the hero of your new STAR WARS park? A character who has never been in anything except a shitty novel about Phasma and periods.
What the utter fuck.


Total sidebar, but as a kid, before the prequels, I always assumed that "Ben" was Kenobi's "Real" name and "Obi-Wan" was his "Jedi name". There is literally nothing to indicate this, but it was my own personal head-canon for reasoning why he would use "Ben Kenobi" as an alias for "Obi-Wan Kenobi". It isn't an alias! Its just his real name that he re-adopted after the Jedi fell.

But then the prequels happened and pretty much killed all of that, lol.
Same.
 

GeneralFriendliness

A.W. "Noa" Brimley
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The more I read the more I want to know...
Instead of professional performers, by 2018 Chapek’s team had pivoted to an idea that the much lower paid Operations Castmembers who would staff the shops and rides and restaurants could be used to elevate the experience at a cheaper pay scale and would interact with the visitors with themed phrasing and gimmicky greetings. All of the interactive land performers, the roaming droids and drones who would be controlled remotely by higher-paid professional puppeteers, plus the rooftop stunt shows and unique alien characters that would not have come cheap were all cut by early 2018.
This explains so much. All the named shop owners and aliens with bios and descriptions who don't exist (which I've mentioned before) and all the little details and the obviously vacant areas feeling like they're missing essential occupants, it all makes sense. Not to mention all the treads and footprint markings from droids and animals in the park despite their absence. I mean for those who didn't read my GE info dumps (which start at page 500), each store in the park has an owner with unusual attention to detail despite not existing. This explains so much of that, all cut for the sake of cheapness and thinking Instagram whores and the SW label would be enough to bring in park goers and make cash. The absolute arrogance.
 
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Dom Cruise

kiwifarms.net
I just really can't get over how incredible this all is.

I remember in the 2000s Disney went through a rough patch, a lot of people seemed to just kinda be over them or at least discontent with their current state, I remember the "save Disney" campaign around 2004/2005 that ousted Michael Eisner.

Then a funny thing happened as the decade ended and the 2010s began, Disney became cool again, people liked them and were interested again.

So it took less than a decade for Disney to revive it's public image only to then fall flat on it's face again, it's just mind blowing.

How I long to return to 1998, when I got the Star Wars trilogy on VHS for Christmas of 1997 (granted it was the SE but that's all I knew as a kid) and I could watch the movies as much as I wanted, back before the Prequels, before the Sequels, before all this bullshit.

I still have that VHS boxset too.
 
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millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I just really hate how they handled Phasma. Here I was, thinking she was gonna be this cool dominatrix badass villain, then they killed her off in the most stupid way possible in TFA, resurrected her, then made her die like a chump again in TLJ. For all the talk on "strong independent wahmen characters" they sure love to fuck her up.
I can understand their thought process. They rather sacrifice the opportunity to set up a credible, competent antagonist who can actually pose a serious challenge to the protagonists, in favor of making sure it's very obvious who is the real Mary Sue that the audience should be cheering on.
 

Relic 31

This is good... isn't it?
kiwifarms.net
The more I read the more I want to know more...


This explains so much. All the named shop owners and aliens with bios and descriptions who don't exist (which I've mentioned before) and all the little details and the obviously vacant areas feeling like they're missing essential occupants, it all makes sense. Not to mention all the treads and footprint markings from droids and animals in the park despite their absence. I mean for those who didn't read my GE info dumps (which start at page 500), each store in the park has an owner with unusual attention to detail despite not existing. This explains so much of that, all cut for the sake of cheapness and thinking Instagram whores and the SW label would be enough to bring park goers and make cash. The absolute arrogance.
It was already an uphill battle basing the park on the sequel trilogy characters and ideas, but then they cut so many things in the interest of greed and laziness that the park was always doomed to it’s current failure.

Anything even remotely interesting or creative was burned away, and all that remains is the echoes of someone’s ideas.

The funniest thing is that these idiots thought they were guaranteed success, that people would pay their ridiculous per day ticket prices, buy their overpriced food and drinks, and be satisfied with half-baked stores and poorly conceived rides.

Actually, I take that back. The funniest thing is seeing it all blow up in their faces.
 
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