Star Wars: Squadrons - Now featuring non-binary yellow aliens and gay-married imperial TIE pilots in your space-WW2 game for 12 year olds

[stuffandthings]

An excellent example of why indie games are the way forward. This game was shitty and rushed, so imagine what it could have been with a smaller studio. Stylized graphics as opposed to "realistic", more content produced in shorter time, more genuine and less "EA", and ultimately cheaper and less of an investment than a huge half-decade project.

I mean fuck sake, Clone Wars is the best Star Wars content period and it's basically a CGI cartoon for kids. This could have been a more "child-like" spaceship simulator and more or less have tried out the same concept at 1/4 the resources.

I agree that Clone Wars is the best Star Wars content. But that shit was NOT CHEAP to produce, each episode averaged out at more than 1 million bucks. The only reason it got the budget it did was because Lucas was a madlad wiling to burn money to warm his pet project baby. There's a reason Disney replaced it with Rebels, then replaced Rebels with the even cheaper Resistance. Disney gave us more Clone Wars because they were desperate to pander to their angered fans and Filoni had the power to push for it.

It's why all the animation you see now is either Cel-shaded CGI or Flash Animated simplistic garbage. Good CGI cartoons are pricey business. Just like good video games.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Mediocre space combat. Snag the Phoenix Rising mod if you want a full, proper experience. Just be careful about logging into the Discord server. Its shared and the owner might as well be the NPC meme, complete with blank-looking profile pic.

Yikes. I think I'll stay away until the server gets a new owner.

 

[Snekposter]

Oh no, the mod's great and some of the best fun you'll ever have since it was made by a guy who digs into the SW lore and canon (actual canon, not Disney bullcrap) like we dig into the history of lolcows, so each ship will have canon armament, or at least his best guess at it since things are well, not always in agreement or even detailed, and then either a historical upgrade path (so basic T-65 X-Wing all the way to the Vong-era XJ) or his best guess at what the upgrades would be. And yes, this means that a Star Destroyer broadside is absolutely terrifyingly ship-melting, and will also choke your CPU in major fleet battles since EaW does real-time projectile tracking, not hit percentages. He even manages to make land combat somewhat interesting!

 

[HandsomeDan]

How does this game even have the opportunity to get into the sex lives of the various characters?

 

[NerdShamer]

How does this game even have the opportunity to get into the sex lives of the various characters?

The gay TIE pilot made an passing reference about his husband towards the end of the game. But you'll be distracted by the two bitches on your team over the crap that they tell you between missions. One of them wants you to be a politician!

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

The gay TIE pilot made an passing reference about his husband towards the end of the game. But you'll be distracted by the two bitches on your team over the crap that they tell you between missions. One of them wants you to be a politician!

I eyerolled so hard when that happened, I think I'm permanently cross eyed...

Honestly, the only vaguely interesting character was Shen. That was largely because Cyborg man had a pretty good voice actor..

The original Tie Fighter had a more compelling narrative with practically no characters...

 

[NerdShamer]

I eyerolled so hard when that happened, I think I'm permanently cross eyed...

Honestly, the only vaguely interesting character was Shen. That was largely because Cyborg man had a pretty good voice actor..

The original Tie Fighter had a more compelling narrative with practically no characters...

Shen's good because he usually has something important to say. The senator's daughter is example of stroking your ego, considering how she's asking you to do something useful and go beyond being a TIE Baron and be an inspiration to the masses. But considering how the ending was handled, you won't be able to live out her expectations.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Shen's good because he usually has something important to say. The senator's daughter is example of stroking your ego, considering how she's asking you to do something useful and go beyond being a TIE Baron and be an inspiration to the masses. But considering how the ending was handled, you won't be able to live out her expectations.

Btw, wtf is Tie baron? What type of rank is that?

I guess they are trying to refrence the "Red Baron" which was a refrence to the pilots name..

Fucking idiots

 

[NerdShamer]

Btw, wtf is Tie baron? What type of rank is that?

I guess they are trying to refrence the "Red Baron" which was a refrence to the pilots name..

Fucking idiots

Basically, it's an Imperial fighter ace who is essentially a war hero. Gets to paint their TIE and helmet red, can assume command of a starfigher squadron. During the reign of the Emperor, might get rewarded with quality real estate. In this case, it's just jerking you off on how "great" of an pilot you are.

So yeah, feudal knighthoods IN SPACE.

 

[HandsomeDan]

Let me guess this "Tie Baron" is also female?

gay tie pilot, non binary flag colors, they/them, this all sounds horrible, I think I will pass.

 

[NerdShamer]

Let me guess this "Tie Baron" is also female?

gay tie pilot, non binary flag colors, they/them, this all sounds horrible, I think I will pass.

No, you're the TIE Baron. The rookie who somehow led the squadron to victory! Now, it's up to you to lead Titan Squadron to glorious victory in the upcoming DLC that'll never happen!

This game tries so hard, that it's kind of sad, tbh.

 

[White Devil]

The campaign for this game made me not want to play it anymore, which is sad because the actual gameplay mechanics / MP aren't too bad.

 

[NerdShamer]

The campaign for this game made me not want to play it anymore, which is sad because the actual gameplay mechanics / MP aren't too bad.

How far did you get?

 

[White Devil]

How far did you get?

Like three or four missions in. I think there's 11 or 12 total.

 

[NerdShamer]

Like three or four missions in. I think there's 11 or 12 total.

It was the Rebel's attempts at philosophy, wasn't it?

 

[White Devil]

It was the Rebel's attempts at philosophy, wasn't it?

Listening to Miss Binary prattle on made me want to kill myself. Honestly, I hated the Rebel cast way more than the Imperials although the Imps had more than their fair share of stupid woke stereotypes. And the complete and total absence of white men on either side stuck out like a sore thumb. I wasn't even looking for it, it was just so noticeable.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Like three or four missions in. I think there's 11 or 12 total.

Nope, 14. 16, if you count the prologues.

I platniumed the game the other day. The campaign is trash, with a couple ok moments..

Then again, the multiplayer was always the star. Even though it needs more content...

 

[White Devil]

I seriously doubt that game will get any real content updates beyond bug fixing.

 

[NerdShamer]

Listening to Miss Binary prattle on made me want to kill myself. Honestly, I hated the Rebel cast way more than the Imperials although the Imps had more than their fair share of stupid woke stereotypes. And the complete and total absence of white men on either side stuck out like a sore thumb. I wasn't even looking for it, it was just so noticeable.

The only thing that you would be missing out on is the stupidity that is Captain Amos and Shen's revenge on Anvil Squadron.

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

The only thing that you would be missing out on is the stupidity that is Captain Amos and Shen's revenge on Anvil Squadron.

Yeah, Shen's revenge was one of the only cool moments. That voice actor was wasted on that garbage..