Skitzocow Stone-Man-Warrior / Kelly Karl Sleight / America05906759 / socioterrific / StoneMa75807331 - Oregon schizophrenic who says he killed multiple governors and the Pope, gets attacked by child soldiers and lions daily, NOT DEAD (yet)

Ronnie Rocket

toxic talking turd
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm just happy the poor Dutch Brother Coffee is getting a much needed reprieve from rock throwers and vibrating dildos.
There actually WAS an incident at the Dutch Bros this week... it just wasn't very funny. :(

Monday, June 14, 2021: A motorist crashed into two vehicles next to Dairy Queen and Dutch Bros on Redwood Highway near Ringuette Street at 7:45 p.m. Saturday, then allegedly drove across the river and out Bridge Street, nearly striking two children in the process. John Joseph Smith, 35, Grants Pass, was jailed on suspicion of DUII, reckless endangerment and hit-and-run.
 

The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Since we all know Kelly's still stubbornly alive and intending to outlast every remaining terror soldier in Oregon, I think we need to get that poll removed/replaced with a new one.

(Though leaving it does give smug rights to those who held the faith that the bic-flicking terrortroop-launching defender of Oregon was still alive when it looked the darkest.)
 

Ronnie Rocket

toxic talking turd
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Don't get excited, he hasn't updated.

-- A woman called police saying a man was throwing rocks at passing vehicles, and that she had been hit in the cheek, at 1:32 a.m. Thursday at Redwood Avenue and Rounds Avenue. A half-hour later, a person was arrested and taken to the Grants Pass Sobering Center.

-- A woman at an "after party" in the 800 block of Northeast Eighth Street sliced open her knee after breaking a glass coffee table late Saturday night. She spit on officers when they tried to put in her handcuffs to take her to the sobering center.

Is Grants Pass so cucked that they have a "sobering center" instead of a drunk tank?

-- A silver BMW ran off the road into a yard in the 2700 block of Lower River Road, at 6:49 a.m. Thursday. The driver was not located.

-- A resident in the New Hope area called 911 saying his son dumped gas around the house and threatened to light it on fire, at 8:47 p.m. Thursday. The son was not located.

They can't seem to locate a damn thing!

-- A 24-year-old woman was arrested and lodged in the county jail Friday on suspicion of unlawful use of a weapon. Further details were not available.

-- A 57-year-old woman was arrested and lodged in the county jail Friday for improper use of 911. Further details were not available.

No details either!

-- A man was reported to have been driving "erratically" before pulling into a parking lot in the 400 block Caves Highway where he sat in his car drinking a beer at 3:45 p.m. on Friday. There were no deputies in the area to respond to the report.

And no deputies...

-- A 56-year-old man was arrested Sunday after he called the police to report that he had sprayed "another resident" in the face with mace at Bridge Retirement and Assisted Living during an argument about COVID-19 tests. He was booked on suspicion of fourth-degree assault and unlawful use of mace.

-- A caller wanted it documented that Jimmy Dean breakfast biscuits with sausage were stolen Saturday afternoon from a residence in the 2100 block of Collison Lane, in the West Harbeck area south of Grants Pass.

-- A woman who called 911 at 5:04 p.m. Friday from the Lil' Pantry in the 100 block Merlin Road said she wanted to "turn herself in." She admitted to being impaired but could not identify what she was guilty of.

Must be something in the water. OR THE AIR.

-- In Grants Pass, a caller Sunday morning reported two deer running down Fourth Street toward Bridge Street. She reported that she was not a "deer psychologist" but that they might have been lost and confused.

It's even affecting the deer!!

-- A caller was concerned that a woman was walking around carrying a fawn Monday afternoon in the 1100 block of Southeast Grandview Avenue. The information was forwarded to the Oregon State Police, which has a fish and wildlife division.

-- Music and the sound of "females having a great time" was heard on a so-called pocket dial to 911 at 4:44 p.m. Friday.

-- Deputies checked for signs of forced entry at Lincoln Savage Middle School in the early hours Tuesday after someone heard what sounded like a break-in. They concluded the sound was caused by sprinklers hitting a chain-link fence.

-- A large fight at a wedding party allegedly broke out Saturday night in the 2500 block of Jumpoff Joe Creek Road. When deputies arrived, a child was the only person to say there was a fight. Others denied it even though they had blood on their clothes.

-- A 30-year-old man was arrested Saturday night after using toilet paper to set his shirt on fire Saturday night in the bathroom at Shari's restaurant, 190 N.E. Agness Ave.

-- A deputy stuck his head into an RV window to investigate the smell of decay while checking out a camp Sunday morning near West Sixth Street in Cave Junction. The deputy determined the smell was not coming from inside.

-- Four teenagers were detained by police Friday night in connection with a series of complaints about a carload of youths driving recklessly around Riverside Park just before 7 p.m. Witnesses said the vehicle spun out in the parking and the occupants made threats against homeless campers, threw water on them and struck another vehicle while exiting the park. They were stopped on Redwood Avenue, with the driver subsequently being lodged in the county youth lockup on suspicion of hit-and-run. The incident was linked to reports of teens shooting at people with a BB gun two days ago.

Youths.

-- A 28-year-old woman and a 73-year-old man were arrested after they were reported having oral intercourse on a bench at the corner of Fourth and G streets Wednesday afternoon.

-- A 36-year-old man was arrested Wednesday at the BottleDrop redemption center, accused of attempting to meet a 15-year-old there for sex. He was jailed on suspicion of online sexual corruption of a child.

Pervs.

-- A man went to the jail lobby Thursday afternoon to report that someone on Instagram threatened to burn his house down on North Applegate Road, in case something happens.

-- A woman in Cave Junction is now $2,000 poorer after she was contacted by someone purporting to be Microsoft who required gift cards to unlock her computer. The woman reported the scam Tuesday afternoon and said she's working with her bank to make sure no funds are withdrawn.

-- In Selma, a resident on Lakeshore Drive complained Wednesday that he is surrounded by pot farms that "reek," and he is concerned that all of his belongings smell like marijuana so he could get in trouble if he gets pulled over.

I am pretty sure that's not how that works...

-- After the death of a baby duck, a 29-year-old man was arrested Tuesday evening at Riverside Park on suspicion of felony first-degree animal neglect. A second duck he had caught was in poor health.

-- A man said he popped a wheelie on his motorcycle Tuesday morning at Merlin Road and Monument Drive because there was a woman in the car behind him. He was warned for careless driving.

-- A caller reported an intoxicated man brandishing a walking stick and trying to start a fight Saturday night in the 300 block of Board Shanty Creek Road near Murphy. The altercation remained verbal and deputies advised the caller of civil options.

-- A trooper responded to a request for a welfare check of a man and his dog Tuesday afternoon at milepost 9 of Redwood Highway and offered them a ride to town. The man had a felony drug warrant out of a Jackson County, and was given a ride to the Josephine County Jail.

:semperfidelis:
 

cuddle striker

REAL MEN WASH PLATE
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Don't get excited, he hasn't updated.

-- A woman called police saying a man was throwing rocks at passing vehicles, and that she had been hit in the cheek, at 1:32 a.m. Thursday at Redwood Avenue and Rounds Avenue. A half-hour later, a person was arrested and taken to the Grants Pass Sobering Center.

-- A woman at an "after party" in the 800 block of Northeast Eighth Street sliced open her knee after breaking a glass coffee table late Saturday night. She spit on officers when they tried to put in her handcuffs to take her to the sobering center.

Is Grants Pass so cucked that they have a "sobering center" instead of a drunk tank?

-- A silver BMW ran off the road into a yard in the 2700 block of Lower River Road, at 6:49 a.m. Thursday. The driver was not located.

-- A resident in the New Hope area called 911 saying his son dumped gas around the house and threatened to light it on fire, at 8:47 p.m. Thursday. The son was not located.

They can't seem to locate a damn thing!

-- A 24-year-old woman was arrested and lodged in the county jail Friday on suspicion of unlawful use of a weapon. Further details were not available.

-- A 57-year-old woman was arrested and lodged in the county jail Friday for improper use of 911. Further details were not available.

No details either!

-- A man was reported to have been driving "erratically" before pulling into a parking lot in the 400 block Caves Highway where he sat in his car drinking a beer at 3:45 p.m. on Friday. There were no deputies in the area to respond to the report.

And no deputies...

-- A 56-year-old man was arrested Sunday after he called the police to report that he had sprayed "another resident" in the face with mace at Bridge Retirement and Assisted Living during an argument about COVID-19 tests. He was booked on suspicion of fourth-degree assault and unlawful use of mace.

-- A caller wanted it documented that Jimmy Dean breakfast biscuits with sausage were stolen Saturday afternoon from a residence in the 2100 block of Collison Lane, in the West Harbeck area south of Grants Pass.

-- A woman who called 911 at 5:04 p.m. Friday from the Lil' Pantry in the 100 block Merlin Road said she wanted to "turn herself in." She admitted to being impaired but could not identify what she was guilty of.

Must be something in the water. OR THE AIR.

-- In Grants Pass, a caller Sunday morning reported two deer running down Fourth Street toward Bridge Street. She reported that she was not a "deer psychologist" but that they might have been lost and confused.

It's even affecting the deer!!

-- A caller was concerned that a woman was walking around carrying a fawn Monday afternoon in the 1100 block of Southeast Grandview Avenue. The information was forwarded to the Oregon State Police, which has a fish and wildlife division.

-- Music and the sound of "females having a great time" was heard on a so-called pocket dial to 911 at 4:44 p.m. Friday.

-- Deputies checked for signs of forced entry at Lincoln Savage Middle School in the early hours Tuesday after someone heard what sounded like a break-in. They concluded the sound was caused by sprinklers hitting a chain-link fence.

-- A large fight at a wedding party allegedly broke out Saturday night in the 2500 block of Jumpoff Joe Creek Road. When deputies arrived, a child was the only person to say there was a fight. Others denied it even though they had blood on their clothes.

-- A 30-year-old man was arrested Saturday night after using toilet paper to set his shirt on fire Saturday night in the bathroom at Shari's restaurant, 190 N.E. Agness Ave.

-- A deputy stuck his head into an RV window to investigate the smell of decay while checking out a camp Sunday morning near West Sixth Street in Cave Junction. The deputy determined the smell was not coming from inside.

-- Four teenagers were detained by police Friday night in connection with a series of complaints about a carload of youths driving recklessly around Riverside Park just before 7 p.m. Witnesses said the vehicle spun out in the parking and the occupants made threats against homeless campers, threw water on them and struck another vehicle while exiting the park. They were stopped on Redwood Avenue, with the driver subsequently being lodged in the county youth lockup on suspicion of hit-and-run. The incident was linked to reports of teens shooting at people with a BB gun two days ago.

Youths.

-- A 28-year-old woman and a 73-year-old man were arrested after they were reported having oral intercourse on a bench at the corner of Fourth and G streets Wednesday afternoon.

-- A 36-year-old man was arrested Wednesday at the BottleDrop redemption center, accused of attempting to meet a 15-year-old there for sex. He was jailed on suspicion of online sexual corruption of a child.

Pervs.

-- A man went to the jail lobby Thursday afternoon to report that someone on Instagram threatened to burn his house down on North Applegate Road, in case something happens.

-- A woman in Cave Junction is now $2,000 poorer after she was contacted by someone purporting to be Microsoft who required gift cards to unlock her computer. The woman reported the scam Tuesday afternoon and said she's working with her bank to make sure no funds are withdrawn.

-- In Selma, a resident on Lakeshore Drive complained Wednesday that he is surrounded by pot farms that "reek," and he is concerned that all of his belongings smell like marijuana so he could get in trouble if he gets pulled over.

I am pretty sure that's not how that works...

-- After the death of a baby duck, a 29-year-old man was arrested Tuesday evening at Riverside Park on suspicion of felony first-degree animal neglect. A second duck he had caught was in poor health.

-- A man said he popped a wheelie on his motorcycle Tuesday morning at Merlin Road and Monument Drive because there was a woman in the car behind him. He was warned for careless driving.

-- A caller reported an intoxicated man brandishing a walking stick and trying to start a fight Saturday night in the 300 block of Board Shanty Creek Road near Murphy. The altercation remained verbal and deputies advised the caller of civil options.

-- A trooper responded to a request for a welfare check of a man and his dog Tuesday afternoon at milepost 9 of Redwood Highway and offered them a ride to town. The man had a felony drug warrant out of a Jackson County, and was given a ride to the Josephine County Jail.

:semperfidelis:
people say lefty cities like Portland are chaotic but they've never seen the chaos of a red county with only small towns in it. duck murderers.

no deputies available is par for the course. I love these updates and continue waiting for news from Stoneman.
 

Aunt Carol

four-letter word for a female
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
-- A woman at an "after party" in the 800 block of Northeast Eighth Street sliced open her knee after breaking a glass coffee table late Saturday night. She spit on officers when they tried to put in her handcuffs to take her to the sobering center.

Is Grants Pass so cucked that they have a "sobering center" instead of a drunk tank?
To best describe their motives, the adjective I would go with is "cheap."

It's not in the jail; the sobering center is a separate nonprofit that takes drunk-but-not-criminal person delivery and watches over them until they sleep it off, then tries to refer them to counseling.

The sobering center can monitor for alcohol poisoning or aspirating on vomit. The idea is to free up the cops and the ED to deal with serious cases.
 

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