Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

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Autumnal Equinox

I hope you relish it as much as I
kiwifarms.net
I had read Tom Sawyer when I was around 7 or so, and noticed they used the phrase "fagged out" a few times to mean being very tired. I had never heard that before and asked my dad what fagged out meant. He was kind of taken aback, but confirmed that yes it meant very tired but means something else nowadays and didn't elaborate further.

I had wanted to impress my English teacher by knowing old time slang and words, so I told her one day that I was feeling a bit fagged out after gym class that day.

I found out what it meant in current slang shortly after my mortified dad found out I said it.
 

Slowboat to China

Drinking Toilet Duck
kiwifarms.net
I think I mentioned this somewhere else, but I'll be damned if I can find it ... Anyway, we had a cat when I was young, and I asked my parents why his nose was wet. They told me a damp nose was a sign of a healthy cat. Me being five and dumb as hell, I decided that having a wet nose was what made a cat healthy, and I would surreptitiously check his nose to make he was okay. If his nose felt dry, then he was sick, and I would dab water on his muzzle to make it damp and therefore healthy again. Five-year-old me was sure she was a medical genius.

That cat put up with a lot of shit from us. Fortunately, he gave as good as he got. RIP, you furry bastard.
 

MerriedxReldnahc

World's Okay-est Proctologist
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I still don't know a whole lot about the movie making process but there's a few misconceptions I had until, like adulthood basically. I had these neat Lord of the Rings movie trading cards as a kid that showed some behind the scenes shots and I remember being suprised by the image of a very-beardless Ian McKellen having his Gandalf wig applied. I was sure that he just had to grow out a lengthy wizard beard for the role, or that they hired actors who already posessed wizard-like qualities. For some reason it never occured to me that actors might wear wigs.
I do like to think that Christopher Lee's hair/beard was his own and he simply grew it out in the course of three days from sheer willpower and badassery.

I also thought that all movie scenes were shot in the order they happen in the movie. It didn't occur to me how annoying that would be to accomplish until I read up on the making of The Room and how Tommy Wiseau insisted on doing exactly that and how it was in fact, utterly annoying for everyone involved.
 
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Microondas

constant headache
kiwifarms.net
Not me, but a friend asked another friend on the way back from school why the dye from her hair was "falling off" from her roots, and the tips were still intact. I said "hair grows" and she just told me "But... hair grows from the tips, wouldn't the tips be the natural color?"

The we laughed the whole way to the subway.

We weren't that little either, like 15 or 16. I asked her why she believed that and she said she just assumed it was like that and the subject never came up until then
 

madethistocomment

welcome to god's mosh pit
kiwifarms.net
I think I mentioned this somewhere else, but I'll be damned if I can find it ... Anyway, we had a cat when I was young, and I asked my parents why his nose was wet. They told me a damp nose was a sign of a healthy cat. Me being five and dumb as hell, I decided that having a wet nose was what made a cat healthy, and I would surreptitiously check his nose to make he was okay. If his nose felt dry, then he was sick, and I would dab water on his muzzle to make it damp and therefore healthy again. Five-year-old me was sure she was a medical genius.

That cat put up with a lot of shit from us. Fortunately, he gave as good as he got. RIP, you furry bastard.
Awww, I did the same thing! One time my mom caught me dipping my finger into a glass of water and patting our dear, sweet, patient kitty on the nose in an effort to make him feel better. She asked me what I was doing, I proudly said that I was helping him to feel better, and she just let me continue thinking that I was helping because she knew how much I loved that cat. I always made sure it never went up his nose because I hated getting water up the nose and knew he wouldn't like it, either.

As for original dumb things that I thought as a kid, I used to think that the warped floorboards in the kitchen were actually me seeing the curvature of the earth. A little part of me thought that that was kind of silly, because surely the earth is bigger than that, but my child brain thought being able to see the earth curving was so cool so that stuck with me until I was about 7. Also, I thought the mosque in the city was the Taj Mahal, despite the fact that I live in the Midwest.
 
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