Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

Smaug's Smokey Hole

no corona
kiwifarms.net
I thought cartoon characters were real people wearing costumes. I remember hoping the actor playing Sylvester was okay after Tweety Bird smashed his head in with a hammer.
When I was 7 or 8 I thought that episodes of cartoons were made between the time each episode aired and having done some animation(stick figures on a block of of post-it notes) the work schedule must be hell.

Growing up, we had a female cat and a male dog. A lot of cartoons made the cat female and the dog male as well. Therefore, four year old me assumed that they were the same species, and that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.
I've met a lot of immigrant kids(muslim families) that believes that in the last couple of years. They ask if they can pet the dog, of course they can and the dog wags its entire body from all that cooing attention. Then they ask his name, I tell them it's a she and you can tell that they're trying to process that information.

Not my dumbness, it was a friend who was dumb. As a kid, 6 or 7, he decided that it was the cape that made Superman able to fly so he tied a bath towel around his neck and jumped from a roof in his pajamas and... broke his leg. As a teen he hated his parents bringing up that story.
 

Slowboat to China

Drinking Toilet Duck
kiwifarms.net
Awww, I did the same thing! One time my mom caught me dipping my finger into a glass of water and patting our dear, sweet, patient kitty on the nose in an effort to make him feel better. She asked me what I was doing, I proudly said that I was helping him to feel better, and she just let me continue thinking that I was helping because she knew how much I loved that cat. I always made sure it never went up his nose because I hated getting water up the nose and knew he wouldn't like it, either.
Oh thank goodness, I'm glad I'm not the only one that did that. :biggrin: Our cat was a scarred-up old tom, and it's a damn miracle he didn't shred my fingers for putting water on his nose all the time.

I also believed I could outrun my shadow. It just made sense to me, y'know? This thing can't keep up forever!
 

The Un-Clit

After the Dimensional Merge, pussy eats YOU!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I used to think m.i.l.k came from white cows and chocolate m.i.l.k came from darker cows. With strawberry, I never had an answer.
My fucking father told me that with a streight face, and re-enforced it too as I got a bit older. He thought it was the funniest fucking thing in the world when I tried to tell my friends this little fact about cows. (strawberry tard cum didn't really exist where i was at the time) 20 years later, he tried to pull that same shit with my daughter and I shut him down fast. He had the nerve to call me a spoilsport.

asshole.

also much MUCH later,

In Jr. High school (8th or 9th grade, an age where he should fucking know better) a kid I didn't know sparked up a conversation with me and tried to tell me that Transformers were real, and that the U.S. military was building them as we speak.

I actually had to give a teenager an explanation about the cost/effectiveness of developing and building an incredibly complex machine that can transform between a humanoid robot and a jet plane or a car and a tank, vs the cost of building multiple jet planes and tanks and the insane cost of developing combat AI for 'transformers' when there were millions of humans capable of flying jets or piloting tanks in the 1980s.

Amazingly it seemed no one had ever told him this before because he looked at me like i had just completely crushed his worldview and he never spoke to me again, LOL.
 
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