Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

Bender

I bend the truth.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
When I was younger I thought that God was synonymous with Santa Clause.
I thought that Canada was a barren wasteland that housed one cabin.
I thought that Human skin was a rubber substance.
I thought that a principal was supposed to be a Willy Wonka type Amusement Host.
I thought that Bikes rode automatically.
Have you ever considered you might be an actual, certifiable redard?
 

Liber Pater

#FreeUnzReview
kiwifarms.net
I used to think that urine and semen were stored in the same place and that a man wishing to impregnate someone would therefore have to completely empty his bladder before sex in order to avoid accidentally ejaculating urine.

I also used to have elaborate superstitions involving good luck and what kind of rituals were necessary to obtain it.
 

TheMagician

Just lost The Game
kiwifarms.net
I though actors killed on-screen would die in real life.
I thought that for live-action shows, the episodes were aired live each time they were shown (even reruns), and that the actors would be just doing the whole episode again each time it aired. I remember wondering if there would be slight differences each time an episode was aired, or if they ever made mistakes.
 

saralovesjuicyfruit

kiwifarms.net
As a toddler I thought a tornado was actually giant potatoes or tomatoes riding in a car though neighborhoods. The siren was to worn people to get away from them or they would kill you. I thought was from their car too and they were giving you a chance to live. But if you were out and about they would gun you down. I suppose I thought this because tornado, tomato, and potato all have "toe" sounds at the end.
RIP my sides
 

Coffee Druid

Your friendly caffeinated chevalier
kiwifarms.net
When I was a kid first hearing the term “balls” I thought it was referring to breasts. I was a young girl and while I knew boys had something hanging down there I didn’t quite know that testicles were a thing. So the closest pair of round things I thought of were boobs.
 
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Kinnie

kiwifarms.net
I thought cars were telepathic so that's how they knew when to put the turn signals on.

When I was a kid first hearing the term “balls” I thought it was referring to breasts. I was a young girl and while I knew boys had something hanging down there I didn’t quite know that testicles were a thing. So the closest pair of round things I thought of were boobs.
You're not entirely wrong. In Chinese, the word for "ball" (like the toy or shape) is also used to refer to boobs.
 
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