Ay up mi cow
The sugar community combines the awfulness of adultery, polyamory, sex work, mental illness and incestuous child abuse fetish in one disturbing package.
It's different from other types of sex work because the sugar babies do not see themselves as prostitutes (they prefer "sugar girlfriend" or "spoiled girlfriend") , and the johns see themselves as saviors who are doing them a favor.
From r/sugarlifestyleforum's glossary:
The Sugar Babies
Sugar babies do not believe themselves to be "like other prostitutes"(link), and will be very offended if anyone suggests otherwise.
Sugar babies come from all walks of life, although many come from dysfunctional households and have money problems. The "daddies" take full advantage of this (horror stories), to the extent places like r/SugarBABYonlyforum have been created. There's also sugar babies from well to do families who sugar because they think it's "cool", until they get raped or scammed.
"Mom said it would help me prepare for interviews"
Some do it to get ahead in their careers, with predictable results.
"Strong independent STEM woman learns the hard way"]
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"Many are mentally ill and self-harm"
The gays are particularly drama prone because while a female SB will just cry to the hugbox, a male SB can get a lot angrier.
"Gay SB tracks down SD and gets a restraining order"
Summary of the saga: gay guy has a SD for about 2 years. During that time they never had sex. The SD gave him a small allowance and the young guy gave him attention and went on dates with him. (source)
SD grows cold (source)
Remember, this isn't sex work.
SD stops replying to him, so he tracks him down. (source)
Remember, it's not sex work.
Restraining order (source)
Troons can be spotted occasionally, but the daddies don't like them much. (A Brief Quip As To Why LGBTQ+ Sugaring is Harder!)
Many sugar babies have a Freudian fantasy that daddy will marry them and have babies with them, and lack any empathy for daddy's current family and actual kids. (Is not feeling guilty about affairs/infidelity a fundamental character flaw? / a)
"Kid finds homewrecker's social media and is given no sympathy"
More from this SB. She's a middleschool tutor.
There's plenty of Sugaring tips&tricks on the internet, particularly on Tiktok.
The Sugar Daddies (and Mommies)
They are usually married or divorced with kids, but like to advertise themselves as "single". They often lie about their age.
If they are married they will likely be in a dead bedroom, or maybe the wife is just literally dying (source).
The ones that have families, they are as fucked up as you'd expect.("My father is a sugar daddy, and I'm a sugar baby.")
One of the most repugnant things about these sugar daddies is how much they like to screw kids, both literally and figuratively.
They have no understanding of parent-child relationships..
"'How dare my wife give more attention to our kids than me.'"
"'My actual daughter knows and supports it'"
Some of them are very old, and show signs of dementia. A lot have either ED or weird looking dicks.
Yes they do snore a lot. (link)(link)
One place they congregate is reddit on r/sugarlifestyleforum, where you can often see posts about
- Scams and splenda daddies
- Erectile dysfunction and the sexual workings of middleaged men
- Creepy old man fetishes
- "Is my sugar daddy a psychopath?"
- "Is my sugar daddy senile?"
- I got an abortion and my daddy paid for it
SeekingArragements which is SLF Tinder basically.
TagTheSponsor which outs sponsorettes and their "gastronomic" adventures in Dubai.
Dishonorable mention: The Daddies and Littles thread
The community does not see this as prostitution. From r/sugarlifestyleforum's wiki:
Is sugar dating prostitution?
No. Sugar arrangements borrow some of the features of both traditional dating and escorting. It is distinct in itself as a lifestyle choice and stands on its own. While sugar relationships almost always include sex, they also normally include emotional and non-sexual components (e.g., experiences) that are far more similar to vanilla dating.
From a legal standpoint, no news articles have been found covering a solicitation arrest (let alone a successful prosecution) based on a sugar relationship. This is also an argument to follow the recommended SLF best practice of having a platonic M&G prior to your first date, which is a clear differentiator between sugaring and escorting.
Note that there have been prosecutions for solicitation of underage girls, so if you're having an M&G with a young-looking SB, you should verify that she's at least 18 by asking her to show her birth date on her government-issued ID, perhaps while she covers the name with her thumb to preserve her anonymity.
The jargon (see a more comprehensive list here/archive)
Splenda (daddy): a broke sugar daddy
Sugar: money (if from the SD) or sex (if from the SB).
Salt (daddy): A "bad" sugar daddy who is manipulative and doesn't pay
Rinsing: it's when the SB leads the SB on for money and doesn't give sex
SR: Sugar Relationship
M&G: Meet and Greet, a sort of first date for the SB and the SD where she figures out whether he might be a serial killer or a scammer
Platonic: despite the sugar community's focus on the whole mentorship aspect of SRs, platonic is frowned upon.
She looks across the table at me, the dummy (...) who has spent far more time and energy writing this story than a commensurate amount of blow jobs would require.
For Tigress, the question is not whether she's a prostitute. It's whether the rest of us are idiots.
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