SWIMMING IN A STORM - 8/17/2019 (Day 60 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- Oh god, we're now in the timeline when Eric was doing a haul and mentioned the special coffee. (CROSSOVER EPISODE!)

- Shoving a dog on top of her gunt-shelf where it cannot escape and tries to paw its way to freedom or the sweet release of death after being that close to THE STANK ZONE = "loves meeeee"

- She's eating the fucking pudding that we ALSO saw in Eric's vlog! CROSSOVER EPISODE CONFIRMED.

- "I just want to chew! Carrots and chips!" (We ALL know that if she were handed any veggie and any non-veggie, she's scarfing down the non-veggie. Quit being a LAH.)

- Looks to be another day. It is stormeen. OTHER people are swimeen. She is not because PERIOD (but wait, didn't stop her that OTHER time she was in the pool...?)

- Close-up of hair-covered LEGGEENS as dogs are let outside, along with DISFATBITCH.

- No visible stormeen. Much visible swimeen.

- Oh, "it's stormeen but without the rain". (WORDS MEAN THINGS YOU INSUFFERABLE MONSTER.)

- Necky is swimeen in attire that is non-bathing-suit. (Hamber is deathly afraid of demonetization!)

- "Cuz I'm a *pig snort*" (Understatement of the century. You're an entire SOUNDER OF SWINE.)

- Hard to hear most of what Ricky was saying (as he was the only one engaging with HamBeast but from too far away and all we can hear is her heavy breathing from being in an upright position).

- Back inside. Admits her dandruff situation. Tries to explain she gets MORE dandruff the MORE she washes her hair. (*awaits the comment section to cover THAT particular LAH*) Flaunts her EXPENSEEV Nexxus shampoo that, again, doesn't actually get used because she doesn't fit in the shower.

- Later, DingyBra is shown as she is on the floor mattress and they are playing Mario (assumedly Party). Ricky made chicken noodle soup. She drank all the broth (because the noodles are too chewy?) and also he made CORNBREAD (also something that requires chewing?) None of this LAH is making sense.

- LOL MEMES. (All this nonsense random shit and STILL couldn't hit 10 minutes, Hamber?)

- "I like to edit PRONTO." (And then let the videos sit around in a queue for OVER A FUCKING MONTH.)

- Necky saw the movie Isn't It Romantic with family, but Hamber was too fat/unwanted to go, so Necky felt bad and bought yet another DVD so Hamber can see it. (Yet another close-up of the deteriorating nail polish. It's almost at the point where you can try to chronicle the timeline by the state of those pathetic unmaintained NAILS.)

- "I'm a fail at a vlogger." (New Understatement of the Century Champion?)

- It's been YET ANOTHER day. Oh no! Her timeline is catching up too fast!

- "If you want your house to smell as good as ours" (definitely a plug for something that REMOVES HAMBERSTANK) "you should use this candle from Bath & Body Works" (from the giant candle haul already seen weeks ago?) "I just wanna lick it" (because EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY WINDS UP DOWN THAT GULLET)

- Hamber is "up to no good" (bitch, you haven't EVER been "good", and you're almost rarely any sense of "up")

- She plans on watching blogs. Motion wobble as she moves and is IMMEDIATELY huffing and puffing.

- Yet ANOTHER close up of the hair-covered LEGGEENS? (You spoil us, Hamber!)

- It's nighttime! This timeline is moving at BREAKNECK SPEED. Yet ANOTHER plug of the Stephen King novella. SHE DID NOT LIKE THE ENDING! Send her a DM on Instagram! (Coincidentally, YESTERDAY she said she's NO LONGER responding to DMs on Instagram!) She will now be reading "The Program", and equates "thick'um" books to things people love in an attempt to garner love for her "THICK'UM" self.


Pudgy Bear Claws

Jesus, that slab of fat on her back creeping up her neck looks just like the ones on her legs that are drooping over her feet. She's some kind of Michelin Man sow with her row of tits, the mini fupa under her gunt and the tires around her thighs. So keep eateen that Velveeta mac and cheese, gorl, you're looking aesthetically pleasing.

Bubblez McGee

Something's Fucky
Why is this bitch so scared of storms didn’t she live in Florida? All it does in Florida is storm.
Nah...only in summer...It's just that in Florida, summer lasts from the beginning of March until the end of January.
Poor Trixie whimpers in terror when Amberlynn's holding her. "She loves meeeuhh!!" No boo boo, she wants to escape.
That dog looked and sounded so afraid, but Amber was either clueless or just didn't give a fuck. I feel genuinely sorry for any animals in Amber's "care." She claims to love them and coosover them, but she's neglectful at best, and abusive at worst. I feel bad for anyone in her orbit, but at least the people in her life have more or less of a choice whether they want to be around her. Her poor animals are just stuck with her.


I do admit that I take some pleasure in witnessing Amber's form becoming more and more twisted, deformed, sickly and mutant looking as she can't stop her rampant consumption. Because she always goes on about inner beauty is what matters blah blah blah.

No. Her outer appearance is looking more and more like the monstrous, husk of a human she is on the inside.

Keyboard Warrior

Man, the tension in this household! And this is from a month ago. Ricky's bacon comment made me chuckle. Amber thinks she's cute by getting to the punchline before anyone else can, but it really just highlights her insecurity. 🐽 Eric's vlog of this same day is really interesting in comparison, because she can't hide her discomfort with someone else being in control of the camera. It's like he's got a gun pointed at her:

I notice all their interactions with each other are them repeating what the other says in mocking fashion. It's so passive-aggressive, and it's really no wonder that Becky is so uncomfortable around her too. No matter what she says or does, it's all ammo for her girlfriend to mercilessly mock or shame her into submission. Amber falls completely apart when the barrel is pointed at her, as evidenced by the above video. Interesting how that works.

Duwager's Hump lookin' extra humpy in this one. A lifetime of super morbid obesity and poor posture is turning her into a modern day Quasimodo.


It would mess up my metabolism
I'm so tired of seeing that fucking pool.

Love seeing a almost 30 year old woman bleed profusely daily and call it her "period" then plop her ass down saying she wants chips. She had to say carrots first to give the illusion that she is doing ww still. Dirt caked bra, blood caked pad, grease and dandruff caked hair,dog hair covered clothes. All laced with Tahiti sunset bath and body works body spray. This is someone who knows shes fucking done for.

Her hands are also fuzzy wtf