Talk to Phil thread - Hey Phil I know you read the farms so...

[Scotty]

Hi, Phil. Long time viewer, first time commenter! Not really.

Actually, I almost forgot you existed (AGAIN) until ItAGundam mentioned you in one of his videos. You didn't exist in my little world until the king of thots made fun of you and I went "Why does that name sound SO familiar?" You see, my buddy back in college was a HUGE fan of yours. He'd send me videos of you raging and being an overall asshole - Friend Request Ridicule - even doing basic game mechanics was cringe. I digress. However, life went on. This is my personal message to the King of Gout himself, Dave Bennett!

Dave, I'm FAR from jealous of you: I wish I could've been half a million dollars in debt, I wish I could've flown some bitch I've never met across the country after Panda got the sense to leave the pigpen and dump your ass, I wish I could've thrown the only friends I've had in the world under the bus for that sweet sweet dollar. To relive the glory years of hanging out with John and Howard, bitching about living in CT and complaining about how "everything sucks" there, while bitching to your parents on why they wanted to live in such a shit-hole. I still wonder what would've happen if you got that Wolverine toy, but you had to wait to get the second edition. Feels bad, man. Too bad they were fucking stupid.

That said, it must suck to wake up from your gin nightmares and go: "I'm all alone." Kat sleeps in the other room "because of your snoring." Sure, Phil. It's your snoring. Not because you only shower once a week, before your day off to go run errands with your wife on Tuesday. Which, BTW, it a weird tradition, but if my lore is correct, you pick Tuesdays as your day off is because that's when your mom used to go do her grocery shopping. Hey! Whatever gets your gouty ass out of bed, I guess.

That said, I leave you with this, Phil. Know that you're all alone: no friends, a woman who's basically using you for a room and board, and while she's making friends, going out, and doing everything she can to get back onto her feet - let's be fair, Seattle Metro is pretty fucking expensive, but we know that Kat wanted out of Michigan and away from Subaru man. You've must've sold her a dream of solid gold. Was it the same dream you sold Leanna?

To recap: you're a piece of shit and I hope that the pigroach luck finally comes to an end soon. I mean, it has to. I hope Midfirst gets their money, you have to sell the WAKHANDO, you have to move back to CT and back with your parents, Kat leaves with Tyrone - or she convinces Travis to dump his long time girlfriend for her - and you're back at square one: a state you hate, with a overbearing father and mother, shitty internet, and that fresh Seattle air that cured your bad back a thing of the distant past.

 

[Lord_ Araxsus]

Phil, I just have to know, how are you so bad a video games? You literally play double to triple the amount I play and you're at least twice as bad as me if not worst.

 

[OverlySensitive]

Phil,

On this day of Christmas I have some simple if idealistic "hopes" for you, if indeed you read.

I hope you realize that when people spend their time and effort on you it means something more than money.
You may not quite comprehend this yet , but the time it takes for someone to waste asking for you to play a game, whether for a day or a year, to troll you or not, is of value because they spent life on you.

Time is finite for us, Phil. I know you probably don't see past today and the moment you live in from day to day, but the time someone takes to squander on you is important and should not be dismissed so flippantly as you always do.

You do not shame people for your own bad decisions.
It's atrocious and is the same as being an abusive significant other, father, sibling or friend. It is breaking people down emotionally and mentally, Phil. That's what that is. It's not jokes and it's not fun. It is abuse.

That is not okay.

It's not a joke when you mean it.

When people "vote" or "suggest" games in your very rigged and "I'll chose what I want to play regardless" polls and you somehow decide of your own volition to play a game that was oddly enough actually suggested, why don't you try making it....I don't know....fun?
Why not ask the person who suggested the game some questions about it while playing it? Would that have really been harder than humiliating them for an hour about how "people begged for a year for this! This is what you wanted! You all wanted this! You asked me every day to play this game! Someone even made a username and visits EVERY STREAM with the games name because they wanted me to play it so much!"

That's public shaming Phil and that is wrong. You don't do that to someone.

While I am quite thankful your chatting people are mostly "those whom are aware" imagine being that person for a second (on the ever so slight possibility of them being a "genuine and true" fan of yours) You sat there for an hour on stream begging people for fifteen dollars of real life money after already acquiring 210-340$ in donations to "permit" you to quite playing such a horrible game.

Phil, on the .001% probability of it being a real fan of yours who may have wanted you to possibly genuinely play the game just so they could watch you enjoy it and have something to talk about with you (a persons whom opinion they value for some warped reason) going so far as requesting it for a years worth of days by your own admission, was their shame of their "idols" disregard worth the glee you felt at degrading them for an hour?

To be fair I don't want you to be a better person for some overall "enlightening" reason, Phil.

No one will ever hurt you worse than yourself and that is the truth.

Should you gain the ability to feel anything beyond jealousy and greed then it will be a truly fun time watching you die every time you stream and I look forward to that as minor as it my be. Its not fun when there is no real suffering and I think when reality finally finds you it will be beautiful.

Merry Christmas

 

[TheGoutburglar]

There are a lot of things I could say to you on this day, but I think I will keep it to the following:

Employees at Scopely really appreciate that you give them so much of your money, because today they get to enjoy a way nicer Christmas than you will ever dream of. It's the closest thing to a noble sacrifice that I'll ever see you make, however unintentional it is.

Ba-humbug, pigroach.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

Why did you have to rub it in to your parents that you had a better breakfast then they did? Are you so much of a little sissy that you throw shade to your parents in twitter on a platform that they definitely won't see your tweets to try and be some sort of disrespectful edge lord in order to sound cool?

Oh wait, your past tweets contradict you acting like a rebel brat and you try to frame yourself as a mature adult by receiving a desk calendar from your wife!

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Dunno if this was asked already, but has Phil heard of the other Phil? If so, what does DSP think of ADF?

 

[Paladin Derich]

Promise to shave your facial hair as a tip goal, and then promise to shave your head for double the tips goal. It will grow back, so you have nothing to lose you fucking sped.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Phil, you were on sesame street?

Where did all that sweet PBS money go?

 

[Full Race Replay]

Hey phil the reason that guy said you were contradicting yourself when you went on another rocking rambling retard answer about sex scenes and romance in video games is because at the beginning you said you are ok with romance in video games when it is integral to the plot and you don't like it when it is an unnecessary addition...but then you said you like Fire Emblem romance side-missions which are not integral and then you said you don't like last of us 2 sex scenes which are integral to the plot, and even affect how you emotionally feel about the main characters which you even said (you said how you wanted to punch the main characters). So which is it genius?

Also, why did you ban the person who asked you that, then said out loud "where did i contradict myself" and stare into the camera as if you were expecting someone to hack into your computer speaker and tell you, you exceptional individual?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Hey Phil, quick question.

How does it feel knowing that almost every other cult leader has multiple wives and gets to have sex with any cult member they want, yet you don't even get to sleep in the same bed as your real adult wife?

Are you going the Heaven's Gate route where all the members had to get castrated? If so, will you off yourself as well?

Thanks in advance!

 

[PieceofShet]

Hey Phil!

PUBG is running at 60fps on ps5. You should go back!

 

[Full Race Replay]

Hi Phil! I dare you to find a detractor or forum that tries to censor alternative viewpoints as much as you and your mods on your forums do.

And Kiwifarms mods moving people who defend you to the "Designated Whiner Shitting Street" thread doesn't count because that is even not as bad as banning people who post alternative viewpoints that don't fit your agenda and pignosis.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Phillypoops, I know your he-pussy was engorged and aflame with vengeance yesterday but even if Trumpy is literally the new Hitler at least he didn't go bankrupt collecting beefy manpixels.

 

[Wurstbrot]

Phillypoops, I know your he-pussy was engorged and aflame with vengeance yesterday but even if Trumpy is literally the new Hitler at least he didn't go bankrupt collecting beefy manpixels.

He managed to become the PRESIDENT of your country and one of the most influental person on the planet.
And you Phil, you managed to achieve nothing with your education.
You beg on the internet to a bored audience of children and retards,
covered under the sheet of badly played videogames and hateful rants of vengeance,
in a sad manbaby-room in solitude and complete loneliness.
For the rest of your miserable life.

 

[OverlySensitive]

Tamale's are tasty. Try 'em, but not something frozen or prepackaged, okay?

 

[Cistern Rumbler]

Hi DipShitPhil, this is your life effectively summed up with two spliced clips:

Making money doing dumb shit that provides nothing of substance to the world as you pretend to work your ass off and whine about having it tough. That's you, an entitled parasitic mongoloid.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Hey Phil, which sweaty man jpeg will you have open on your phone as the last erg of battery it'll ever have slips away?

 

[Schmeckel]

Tamale's are tasty. Try 'em, but not something frozen or prepackaged, okay?

Mother-in-law makes the BEST goddamn tamales. I don't know what she does to them, she could spit in them for all I care, but when she calls up the missus and I hear "Mija, do you want some tamales?" I shout "YES!". Then Schmeckel gets to enjoy him some tamales. And the beans... Mmm. And the barbacoa... I may need to go raid MIL's fridge.

Hey, Philly boy. Does your MIL make anything tasty? Does your mom make anything tasty that's not procured from QVC? If they don't, it's a damn shame. Aside from the super secret "30 shakes of sugar" kool-aid, which is damn nasty, I can't fathom that Mama Burnell made anything more extravagant than the box-slop that your soul-maid does.

 

[OverlySensitive]

Hey Phil,

I am going to tell you something because I do believe in Karma and it came for me on behalf of you because of my toxic thoughts, okay?

Yes, people like me are mentally ill , you know why? It's addiction. Like to gambling ,drugs, or drinking. Its from the high you get, that endorphin rush, that keeps you addicted and inevitably you always have to just push a bit more to get that satisfactory ascension to the gates of heaven feeling again and you provide that well, very well and so effortlessly.

It's the worst because I really really want to be your friend so bad right now and its disgusting but that's just how twisted I am. When I find something delightful I want to be closer to it you know? Its tingly Phil and that's how I know its wrong and you have nothing but enablers around you which is just the best thing ever and you tempt people really badly to do some fucked up shit and its your own fault, you bring it upon yourself.

Why did you have to flaunt your egotism, huh? Why did you have to tweet out that murder suicide email you claim to have received? Because all it served was to make me reflect a long while, to this damn day the feeling of wanting to do some real stupid shit just because I can is with me and it would be so fun to appease the curiosity. That's the bitch of it. You can know all you like but its the experiencing that matters and makes it worth it. The experience is it. All of it.

I wont though because as I said I believe in Karma and considering I now look like a genuine redhead with cobalt blue streaks in my hair out of a plain brown color of L'Oreal im thinking that was decent if minor karmic reinforcement to keep me in detox from you because I've been thinking of you a lot. I am easily triggered by you Phil. It's really wrong of you to do these things to innocent people with addiction problems but I will check back in on you down the road and I hope you do indeed stroke out live because I am a vile person who enjoys wallowing in the toxicity way to much.

I'm not saying I wont slip, I am typing to you now because I just cant help myself but I think if I can pretend to ignore the Cyberpunk refund I can Ignore you all together I am giving it a go. It's the more mentally healthy rout or so im pretending because God Damn Phil I think you are divine right now and you need to go back to being sludge.

 

[Full Race Replay]

hey phil stop acting like such an asshole to other people on twitter, you're just a loser who publicizes fake death threats for pity bucks.