So I just got a phone call that represents everything I hate about telemarketers and their scams. (I know it's easiest to just hang up on them, but why spoil my fun in catching them in their lies?)
(Phone rings)
ME: Hello?
MAN: (with heavy Indian accent, other Indian accents in background) Hello. This call is for Mr. Richard?
ME: Yes?
MAN: Is this Mr. Richard?
ME: Yes.
MAN: Mr. Richard, I am pleased to be telling about the government grant you are going to receive.
ME: Uh-huh.
MAN: This is a grant of cash from the government which does not have to be repaid, do you understand?
ME: Uh-huh.
MAN: And you receive this cash within two days after you talk to my supervisor and answer a few simple questions.
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: First he will ask if you have internet connection and you will say yes.
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: Then he will ask if you are currently enrolled in a school and you will say No.
(At this point I was getting genuinely curious where he was going with this, as it was different from other calls of this ilk I have received.)
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: Then he will ask you when you are planning to enroll in school and you will say 1 to 3 months.
(Bingo!)
ME: But that's a lie.
MAN: Then he will--what?
ME: That's a lie. You're telling me to lie.
MAN: No, Mr. Richard, I am telling you when he asks when you plan to enroll in school you say 1 to 3 months.
ME: But that's a lie. I have no intention of enrolling in school.
MAN: Don't you want your government grant? It's free money!
ME: Not if I have to lie to get it.
MAN: Who is telling you to lie?
ME: You're telling me to lie!
MAN: No, I am telling you how to answer the questions when my supervisor gets on the phone.
ME: Can I explain something to you?
MAN: What?
ME: You don't work for the government. I can tell because of all the background noise that you are calling from an office in India. When your supervisor gets on the phone, the last thing he will ask me to do is send out a sum of money -- let's say $150 -- by Western Union to confirm my location so they can send me my grant. Is that about right?
MAN: Um...
ME: Did I miss something?
(short pause, click, dial tone)
I hate getting these calls, but I do love messing with their heads. How about the rest of you?
(Phone rings)
ME: Hello?
MAN: (with heavy Indian accent, other Indian accents in background) Hello. This call is for Mr. Richard?
ME: Yes?
MAN: Is this Mr. Richard?
ME: Yes.
MAN: Mr. Richard, I am pleased to be telling about the government grant you are going to receive.
ME: Uh-huh.
MAN: This is a grant of cash from the government which does not have to be repaid, do you understand?
ME: Uh-huh.
MAN: And you receive this cash within two days after you talk to my supervisor and answer a few simple questions.
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: First he will ask if you have internet connection and you will say yes.
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: Then he will ask if you are currently enrolled in a school and you will say No.
(At this point I was getting genuinely curious where he was going with this, as it was different from other calls of this ilk I have received.)
ME: Mm-hmm.
MAN: Then he will ask you when you are planning to enroll in school and you will say 1 to 3 months.
(Bingo!)
ME: But that's a lie.
MAN: Then he will--what?
ME: That's a lie. You're telling me to lie.
MAN: No, Mr. Richard, I am telling you when he asks when you plan to enroll in school you say 1 to 3 months.
ME: But that's a lie. I have no intention of enrolling in school.
MAN: Don't you want your government grant? It's free money!
ME: Not if I have to lie to get it.
MAN: Who is telling you to lie?
ME: You're telling me to lie!
MAN: No, I am telling you how to answer the questions when my supervisor gets on the phone.
ME: Can I explain something to you?
MAN: What?
ME: You don't work for the government. I can tell because of all the background noise that you are calling from an office in India. When your supervisor gets on the phone, the last thing he will ask me to do is send out a sum of money -- let's say $150 -- by Western Union to confirm my location so they can send me my grant. Is that about right?
MAN: Um...
ME: Did I miss something?
(short pause, click, dial tone)
I hate getting these calls, but I do love messing with their heads. How about the rest of you?
