Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 5 0.5%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 71 6.8%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 211 20.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 245 23.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 178 17.1%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 114 10.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 48 4.6%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 171 16.4%

  • Total voters
    1,043

Crepidodera fulvicornis

Make Flea Beetles Green Again!
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She's trying to be a mommyvlogger?
Doesn't her eldest live elsewhere? Which is probably a good thing, because she was definitely sending him down the same path as she takes. He was definitely not a healthy weight when she used to post him.
She was on Parents magazine’s cover what else do you want from her
 

Zerodegreegurn

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Oct 23, 2021
I think she uses Rylee’s desire to avoid being photographed with her to pretend he actually lives with her. She says “at home with my boys” and never mentions “Rylee came home” or anything along the lines.
Yeah I did wonder if he isn't there, I can't remember if I read it here or a snark forum. Either way, the age he's at I can't imagine him wanting to be associated with such a cringewhore.
 

multiverse

Barb Came 4 CWC - survivor
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Yeah I did wonder if he isn't there, I can't remember if I read it here or a snark forum. Either way, the age he's at I can't imagine him wanting to be associated with such a cringewhore.
Rylee has been living with Ryann's ex boyfriend John ever since Nick took off in late 2019. Rylee was 14 at the time.

This was supposed to be a temporary thing - and she lied to Parents mag and said Rylee was living with his dad - but it was due to the Bradys (the Hollidays' real last name) being evicted and neither had any plans for how to course correct. Nick fucked off to Brisbane, Rylee was shipped to an ex's house, and Tess and Bowie spent the next ten months sponging off of Jolene in her one bedroom apartment.

Before she gave her eldest kid to her ex, Tess whined about how her kid was indeed embarrassed of her social media and how he had requested she not post anything about him. This was couched in narc speak about how much she RESPECTS HIS PRIVACY, but she breaks her promise whenever the mood strikes her. Rylee is probably better off with this John dude, no matter how painful it is to be kicked out of the house as soon as you start high school.

/child placement recap.
 

niente

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Joined
Mar 30, 2017
I'm a wee bit late, but with the coming film adaptation of Sandman why not cast Tess in the role as Funland..? They look just the same! 1635192591038.jpg
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
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Cheesegirl78

"I want to f**k you sex sex sex"
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Feb 17, 2017
I came across this while perusing something not even related. Her name must have wormed it's way into my search history. Yuck.
Imagine forking over 6k for a bag and some bling.
I'm on mobile if someone could archive? I searched the thread and couldn't find it it's about 5 months old.
I remember seeing this posted before, but she's never used the bag or shown it off, so I wonder if this was just for show and she returned it?
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
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I wonder if this was just for show and she returned it
100% just for show
Kiwi Girls, kiwi girls, calm down. You're all pretty. Unless you're fat. Fat people are gross.

Tess is still experimenting with becoming a mommy vlogger, since she can no longer attract sponsors or johns herself. The file size is almost as fat as Ryann, so let's hope it embeds.

Poor Bowie is so fucking desperate for her attention and praise. Of course, this was filmed BEFORE she left him again so he wouldn't cry.
View attachment 2655997View attachment 2655998
View attachment 2656051
The Russians are back and I love them.
Untitled.png
 

AbraCadaver

Important and Neat
True & Honest Fan
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Jul 10, 2017
"Sensual, beautiful, strong & capable" people would have the clout to not be erased from history & if they were that aspirational, historians would go out of their way to include them in oral & written histories.
If there’s one thing humanity is consistently known for, it’s ignoring the existence of beautiful women. Sure, Ryann.

“Throughout the centuries, very obese women have absolutely existed in the same numbers they do today and everyone found them super hot, but then there was a mass erasure of them from history at a certain point in time!”

I don’t know how she has the audacity to say she’s strong and capable when we’ve got photographic evidence of her being unable to stand up from the floor by herself, and that was 100 lbs ago. She even admitted if she gets down on her knees, she then has to crawl to the nearest bit of furniture to haul herself back up.

Much strong, so capable, wow.
 

Crepidodera fulvicornis

Make Flea Beetles Green Again!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 2, 2021
100% just for show

The Russians are back and I love them.
View attachment 2658751
Another bit of clarification for Russian comments:
Pozdnyakov — a guy, who organised web community “Male government” that doxxed and shat on those, who they don’t like. Similar to incels, I’d say.
For example - women, who slept with foreign tourists during World Cup, women who were photographed with race minorities etc.
Their latest to this date actions were:
— bullied grocery chain, because it had ads about “families of our customers”, which included all-female fam (two women, daughter and mother of one of them, iirc). Doxxed and threatened women so much they had to leave the country. Grocery chain failed to stand their position and went all “oh noes marketing department made mistake we r so sorry :(((“
— bullied kvass production company because it used Black guy in ads (among other people, including albino girl). Cause “ewww Western Propaganda fuck off your blm faggots from my turf” etc. This company though acted like a chad and doubled down.

Finally, Apple and Google demanded Telegram (where the whole thing was coordinated and talked about) to block “Male Government” channel, its copy and his own channel as well.

As for now, the new channel for MG his own channel is invite-only, so I don’t know what exactly in Tess IG provoked this, but I hope the context above could be helpful

ETA oh, forgot to add - this “organisation” of his was ruled as extremist one by a court. Guess that makes it harder to learn what was said about Tess.
Is she too stupid to use the translate-button or is she sure all the russians are just praising her?
Aren’t Slavs considered “uwu minority” there? Maybe she doesn’t want to risk (:optimistic: ) her SJW face, bickering with poor russkies who do not know her language well.

Also lol’d
C2CF1855-241F-4E96-963A-839F835C9111.jpeg
“Ass wider than EU”
 
Last edited:

Smiling Honeybadger

Still not giving a fuck.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 7, 2017
If there’s one thing humanity is consistently known for, it’s ignoring the existence of beautiful women. Sure, Ryann.

“Throughout the centuries, very obese women have absolutely existed in the same numbers they do today and everyone found them super hot, but then there was a mass erasure of them from history at a certain point in time!”

I don’t know how she has the audacity to say she’s strong and capable when we’ve got photographic evidence of her being unable to stand up from the floor by herself, and that was 100 lbs ago. She even admitted if she gets down on her knees, she then has to crawl to the nearest bit of furniture to haul herself back up.

Much strong, so capable, wow.

Tess is about the last person to talk about anything history related. Very obese women did not exist in the same rates as today, and they weren't considered desirable. They were seen as freaks. See the side show ladies touted as the "fattest woman on earth". To add to the amusement of the masses, the managers of the shows staged weddings between the fattest lady and the thinnest man - often called the "living skeleton".

Another example of how persons of Tess' size were seen as freaks of nature would be Eugenia Martínez Vallejo. Her nickname was "La Monstrua" which requires no further translation. She was a jester at the Spanish royal court in the 17th century and kind of a living specimen for a cabinet of curiosities or Wunderkammer, which were all the rage back then, and were stuffed with all kinds of freakish shit. Hence why the king had commissioned two portraits of her. One in her court dress and one nude. She was about five years old and it is believed she suffered from Prader Willi Syndrome.

What Tess is going for, is the Rubenesque woman. And in my books even for his time, Rubens was kind of a chubby chaser. But I post some paintings.

4313375ded4e6b06430df6633c5079f19e7c55c9_peter_paul_rubens_-_het_pelsken_1636-1638-1.jpg


Peter-Paul-Rubens-Ankunft-der-Maria-de-Medici-in-Marseille-1622-1625.jpg


And for good measure photo of a fat lady from the side shows. And now you can tell me, dear Kiwis: Who does Tess resemble Tess more?!

Coney-Island-Dreamland-Circus-Side-Show-Freak-Jolly-Irene.jpg


Thanks for dialing into this round of "Smiling Honeybadgers Art Autism". Have a nice day wherever you are!!
 

FuckDuckSeagull

Fucking hell, Bekah.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jul 8, 2020
Honestly, those women Rubens painted have at least some muscles and yes, they are fat but by today's standards barely smallfats. If you saw gorl like that at the beach you wouldn't look twice. It's also hilarious how Ryann/any FA seem to think they look exactly like these women, when in reality they resemble the lady in the last picture (who seems to have more style and grace than our gorl ever could).
 

Smiling Honeybadger

Still not giving a fuck.
kiwifarms.net
Joined
May 7, 2017
Honestly, those women Rubens painted have at least some muscles and yes, they are fat but by today's standards barely smallfats. If you saw gorl like that at the beach you wouldn't look twice. It's also hilarious how Ryann/any FA seem to think they look exactly like these women, when in reality they resemble the lady in the last picture (who seems to have more style and grace than our gorl ever could).

That's just from the top of my head, but I think several of the more famous fat ladies also knew how to play an instrument, sing or hold a pleasant conversation with the audience. So, they were not just fat but also show performers. From what I have read about them, they were light years ahead of Tess.
 

AbraCadaver

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FA gorls love to throw around “rubenesque” but actual Rubens painting women would be shouted down for “thin privilege” today and belittled for being able to shop in straight-size stores.

I’ve never understood this argument anyway: history is filled with massively obese people who used to be considered very attractive until The White Man ruined it with patriarchy…but also they were erased and overlooked by history and that’s why they’re non-existent in historical records? Then how do you know they were so idolized, if there are no records?

You’d think if Ye Olde People were so mad for 600 lb women, there would be more (any) paintings of them. And they wouldn’t be featured as sideshow freaks or court jesters because they’d be seen as normal, since there were so dang many of them and they were so beautiful and strong and capable.

Tess can’t even put her own shoes on, she has to wear slides or other shoes she can easily wedge her feet into without hands. Nobody five hundred years ago survived on the daily without the mobility to do basic tasks. I’d love to see Tess get up at dawn, light a fire, dress herself in several layers, cook everyone’s breakfast, clean the house, scrub several tubs of laundry by hand, feed the animals, bring in firewood, and by then it’s not even noon.
 

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