Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

Wyzzerd

The elves are behind it all!
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Can we plaster this on her gravestone, obituary photo, and every tabloid that will come out once she croaks? I can't think of a better picture to encapsulate Tess, the only thing to complete it would be a quadruple bacon cheeseburger in her hand.
(Insert joke about that all her tits are made of anyway)
 
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Cheesegirl78

"I want to f**k you sex sex sex"
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Can we plaster this on her gravestone, obituary photo, and every tabloid that will come out once she croaks? I can't think of a better picture to encapsulate Tess, the only thing to complete it would be a quadruple bacon cheeseburger in her hand. (Insert joke about that all her tits are made of anyway)
Her toes are hanging over her shoes...that's the final shit icing on this.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

Gotta Scroll Fast
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ETA: She posted this on her story, presumably in response to anyone who might criticize her trashy behavior on the runway. lmfao
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Imagine wearing the trashy label as a badge of honor. And she's not fooling anyone with those quote marks. I certainly didn't forget about the time someone called her trashy in a comment and she shared it on her story saying 'it's ya girl' like being white trash is something to be proud of.


Can we plaster this on her gravestone, obituary photo, and every tabloid that will come out once she croaks? I can't think of a better picture to encapsulate Tess, the only thing to complete it would be a quadruple bacon cheeseburger in her hand. (Insert joke about that all her tits are made of anyway)
I completely agree with you. This definitely sums up the legacy she'll leave. I sometimes wonder if she has moments of clarity, where she wonders what her legacy will be. Then I remember how narcissistic she is and I realize that she very likely actually thinks everyone will remember her fondly after she dies.
 

DelicateMageflower

It's Algonquin for bloodsport.
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JuniperFalls

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Huh. I never knew that was a problem for hyper-obese people. So, while other parts of her body stretch to proportions far beyond normal human ratios (I still can't get over the size of her upper arm compared to her head), I guess her individual toes remain more or less the same size no matter how fat the rest of her gets?

EDIT: Fixed a couple of typos
 
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Dean Pentel

White, meek, totally non-threatening
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Can we plaster this on her gravestone, obituary photo, and every tabloid that will come out once she croaks? I can't think of a better picture to encapsulate Tess, the only thing to complete it would be a quadruple bacon cheeseburger in her hand. (Insert joke about that all her tits are made of anyway)
No doubt someone has stated this already, but those tattoos on her arms would be full chest or back pieces on normal weight human beings.
 

Cheesegirl78

"I want to f**k you sex sex sex"
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Off-topic a bit, but man, I unapologetically loved Anna Nicole. Hate what happened to her.
I've always had a huge soft spot in my cold black heart for her.
She was truly beautiful, and when you learn about how she was treated in her youth, it's heartbreaking.
Even after she got famous, her family always had their hands out wanting more.
 

multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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Huh. I never new that was a problem for hyper-obese people. So, while other parts of her body stretch to proportions far beyond normal human ratios (I still can't get over the size of her upper arm compared to her head), I guess her individual toes remain more or less the same size no matter how fat the rest of her gets?
It's the bones of the feet that crack and spread, the toes just follow suit with the spread. It's incredibly painful... so the megafats simply stop walking.
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
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Is there video of Tess waddling down the runway? I’d like to see that.

I’ve never heard of Chromat or whatever it is. Not only was it a questionable decision to use Tess as a model, it also appears they couldn’t afford a makeup artist or stylist Her teal eyeliner is uneven. Her royal blue earrings look like plastic beads, something ALR would buy and they clash with the makeup. Her shoes don’t fit and her toes are hanging on for dear life, and the whole things is pulled together by the industrial strength bra strap that shows as she bends to wiggle her droopy melons at the audience.

Anna Nicole and she have nothing in common, nothing. It’s nervy to mention them in the same sentence. If we want to remember Anna Nicole, look no further than her very pretty daughter who is being raised as a proper young girl should be.

Tess is nothing more than a circus freak. All these deathfats take themselves so seriously, insisting the world consider them healthy, attractive, and worthy of every job and item of clothing there is. Political correctness has been drummed into our heads for 60 years, so people now don’t say anything. Secretly though, everybody is either laughing at the freak, disgusted, or feeling sorry for it.
 

Cheesegirl78

"I want to f**k you sex sex sex"
kiwifarms.net
Is there video of Tess waddling down the runway? I’d like to see that.

I’ve never heard of Chromat or whatever it is. Not only was it a questionable decision to use Tess as a model, it also appears they couldn’t afford a makeup artist or stylist Her teal eyeliner is uneven. Her royal blue earrings look like plastic beads, something ALR would buy and they clash with the makeup. Her shoes don’t fit and her toes are hanging on for dear life, and the whole things is pulled together by the industrial strength bra strap that shows as she bends to wiggle her droopy melons at the audience.

Anna Nicole and she have nothing in common, nothing. It’s nervy to mention them in the same sentence. If we want to remember Anna Nicole, look no further than her very pretty daughter who is being raised as a proper young girl should be.

Tess is nothing more than a circus freak. All these deathfats take themselves so seriously, insisting the world consider them healthy, attractive, and worthy of every job and item of clothing there is. Political correctness has been drummed into our heads for 60 years, so people now don’t say anything. Secretly though, everybody is either laughing at the freak, disgusted, or feeling sorry for it.
I'm so happy ANS's mother didn't get her claws into her granddaughter. Or that creep she had as her lawyer.
Tess, you're no Anna Nicole Smith.
 

AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
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Apparently, Nick's family have been telling him that his grandfather doesn't have much longer so he ought to come say goodbye. However, this coincided with Tess and the kids moving out and him doing a bunch of art fundraisers and making public promises that he's gonna do better by his wife and kids. He's also launching an actual store for his art now, despite having lived stateside for more than 4 years and having ostensibly earned his living as an artist prior to being a kept man.

It sounds like they're either broke or broken up or both.
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Meanwhile: Tess is trying to drum up work in NYC, whilst having become too fat for ANY major plus sized designe to fit her off the rack. That tent is "custom" because of course it is.
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As ever, a massive :semperfidelis: to the brave Getty Images photographers. They risk stench and getting caught in the gravitational pull of this planet to bring up back a GORGEOUS 3/4 side view. Though her "custom" size 30 dress was designed in slimming black and cleverly blends into the background to obfuscate her bulk, that faux Elizabethan ruffle collar only accentuates the fact that she is now easily as wide as she is tall. That industrial strength corset is fooling exactly no one, jabba.
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FASHUN CRITIQUE: the dress is far too long for someone Tess's height and bulk - though clearly some wrangler has been engaged to steam the dress after arrival and pull it straight for photographs, unlike the last events where she's shown up in akimbo and wrinkled off the rack clothes. I would assume it's the designer or an employee of the small design shop, sent to keep the dress an advertisement for them instead of an embarrassment. The dressmaker specializes in plus sized gowns for Hollywood events (including gowns for hulking transwomen actors) and doesn't seem to have any East Coast presence, hence them agreeing to dress Tess for this Harper's Bazaar event. And why was it custom? Well, they only go up to size 28, you see.
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Tess has gone from SWAG accessories from Kate Spade and free dresses from Siriano and international designers, to shitting on the small national line Eloquii for two years straight until she physically outgrew them, to a local specialty dressmaker with 7k followers.

In fact, whatever happened to her supposed connection to Siriano vis-a-vis his ex husband? Christian was at the same party as Tess last night, swathed in A-List celebrities (note: Tess was photographed with no one)...
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... oh, his chosen fatty this season is the fashion plus sized (sized 10-12) Ashley Graham. Even though Ashley is pregnant and a good 6 plus inches taller, Tess still has at least 150 lbs on her former "rival".
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Tess has hated Ashley Graham with a vehement passion for at least 10 years; early in their respective careers, Tess -then known as Tess Munster - considered Graham to be her bitter rival in the plus sized modeling world. In reality, Tess never stood a chance as an actual working model, whereas Ashley has had consistent work for all of that time. Tess mistook notoriety from that People cover as a sign that jobs from every big name plus sized designer were going to be rolling in nonstop. Though Tess would regularly proclaim she was the very first plus sized model signed to a major agency (and PS. M.ilk Model Management is not one of the biggies), Ashley Graham is a client of IMG Models (which IS one of the biggest agencies).

Ashley also attended the same party as Tess last night. But only one of them got press coverage for it:
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The fuck was this designer thinking? Tess’ positives are her big lyxurious hair look and her still somewhat not totally fat-jowled face. Her WORST points are those big hams she calls upper arms. So you pull her hair back to make her head look smaller, increase the visual size of her body with a platter-style collar and leave the arms uncovered? Ffs.

Leave her hair down, give it an old Hollywood glam wave style, cut that absurd collar in half and use both halves to make flared sleeves that cover the upper arm but still allow movement. There, I made this look more tolerable by 200% percent.
 

Candidae

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More sad shit from hubby. Interesting exchange in the comments.
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Count me optimistic as fuck but I hope this come to Jesus moment is legit for the sake of his kids and family back home. If he does have BDP then he honestly does have a chance at getting better if he works on his issues, studies show that it's much easier post 30 anyways. If he's been an ass then I hope he got his personal slap in the face and gets better. If this is caused by his dying uncle then that's super sad but it could be enough to snap someone out of their shit, mentally disordered or not. I dunno, I'll hold out hope even if I shouldn't

So that show she was going to, uh moddle in? This is the result of inviting Mississippi white trash to your fancy fashion show. It's more spectacular than I could ever have expected.
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God that dress is horrible. It'd look awful on anyone but Tess manages to make it worse even before the trashy boob grab thing. It also just feels like a mean inside joke for everyone there. The sample size parts just seem to say "hey look guys, this whale is the size of four regular models! She can't fit in one so we cut a bunch up and stitched them together to make her a shitty dress!". Not that Tess deserves better but ouch, intention or not I bet a bunch of people laughed internally
 

AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
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She’s the best kind of model, the kind that makes a walk all about herself and her own personal ego brand, not about the outfit she was hired to walk in.

I bet the designer was cringing backstage at that titty grab and weird oreo-induced orgasm face, just like everyone in the audience cringed inside. Why do your job right when you can be a huge attention whore? She’s not doing the brand favours by acting a total prat mid-fucking-walk.

The most meteoric models all had their own “thing.” But it didn’t interfere with their work and they were professionals, not idiots dragging the focus away from the clothes and trying to spotlight themselves personally. She is such a shite model. Any designer who sees that performance won’t trust her to walk for them and will give her even more of a pass than they do now. She’s not drumming up attention for the brand by acting outrageous, she’s just being a cringy, ill-mannered boor.