Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

JambledUpWords

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I know everyone ages and you'd expect her to look better in her early years, but oof.
If Tess was serious about losing weight and dropped the FA bullcrap, she could maybe find more modeling work*

*Provided that she is honest about her sizing, treats people around her better and stopped biting the hand that feeds her.

All in all though, Tess would be better off not using social media for a while and getting a normie desk job. Modeling for most people isn’t long term and she’s really aging badly.
 

Whatthefuck

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Or she looks like a drunk person walking past a cop car, trying to look sober.

"Just be normal. Act natural. Just be cool. YEAH LOOK AT MY TITS OFFICER JUICY BOOTY! Ok act natural, perfectly normal, totally sober, just... just get to the store before you puke."
A proper walk on a runway requires walking foot over foot in a straight line. You have to be able to cross your legs or at least have them meet for a handshake. She's not physically capable of a proper walk.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

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Orange lipgloss and badly applied turquoise liner is not a good look, Tess.
You saying that got me thinking.

Aren't orange and blue on opposite ends of the color spectrum (or close to it)? Also, your skin tone matters when it comes to applying makeup. If you're warmer complected, warmer colors is a better idea (pinks, reds, corals, etc). If you're cooler complected, cooler colors make more sense (blues, purples, greens). She's wearing both. One is going to clash, and orange lip color isn't really a good idea anyway ever.

For someone who claims she's a model, she really doesn't know anything about beauty. I'm far from being a makeup connoisseur and even I can tell you she sucks at it. I can't imagine why she doesn't get modelling gigs anymore.
 

multiverse

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View attachment 931836

I know everyone ages and you'd expect her to look better in her early years, but oof.
Her big selling point was "big girl with a pretty and normal sized face". She used to have a very cute cleft chin, too - before it dissolved into fat and fillers. She was never going to be a high fashion model, but it was enough for catalog modeling and a good social media presence brand.
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She was an actual size 20-22 who could cross her legs when she first gained ground via campaigns for Domino Dollhouse and around the pinup / burlesque scene.
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But even before she got preggers however many times Nick has managed to breach her bulwark, he helped to fatten up his prize pig by 100 pounds or more. Not that I've heard her complain about it. But somehow, she claims she's only gone up to a "22-24" - and she's added the 24 with clenched teeth - dispite obviously having gained almost 200 pounds since the last photo above.
 

Salubrious

Feelin' Healthy
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Aren't orange and blue on opposite ends of the color spectrum (or close to it)?
Pretty much polar opposites.

It's a meme now that a good chunk of movie posters are essentially blues and oranges for this reason.


No need to archive the above; just a lazy Googled article.
 

sperginity

honest and open with everybody my entire life
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Her big selling point was "big girl with a pretty and normal sized face". She used to have a very cute cleft chin, too - before it dissolved into fat and fillers. She was never going to be a high fashion model, but it was enough for catalog modeling and a good social media presence brand.
View attachment 932136View attachment 932137View attachment 932138

She was an actual size 20-22 who could cross her legs when she first gained ground via campaigns for Domino Dollhouse and around the pinup / burlesque scene.
View attachment 932149

But even before she got preggers however many times Nick has managed to breach her bulwark, he helped to fatten up his prize pig by 100 pounds or more. Not that I've heard her complain about it. But somehow, she claims she's only gone up to a "22-24" - and she's added the 24 with clenched teeth - dispite obviously having gained almost 200 pounds since the last photo above.
and god damn, it isn't that hard to stay the weight she was at. She still would have had to count up the calories to keep herself a consistent weight, but she would have a lot of calories to eat each day however she wanted. Most people who make a career out of their looks have to work infinitely harder and deprive themselves constantly, but tess wouldn't do a trivial amount of work. Her husband's gross fetish and her complete refusal to maintain her appearance ruined a great opportunity. I was at the mall recently and noticed that there are a lot more stores for fat women these days, she really could have made a great career out of plus sized fashion. What a fucking idiot. She threw it away for what, cake? cheetos?
 

BIG DADDY

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and god damn, it isn't that hard to stay the weight she was at. She still would have had to count up the calories to keep herself a consistent weight, but she would have a lot of calories to eat each day however she wanted. Most people who make a career out of their looks have to work infinitely harder and deprive themselves constantly, but tess wouldn't do a trivial amount of work. Her husband's gross fetish and her complete refusal to maintain her appearance ruined a great opportunity. I was at the mall recently and noticed that there are a lot more stores for fat women these days, she really could have made a great career out of plus sized fashion. What a fucking idiot. She threw it away for what, cake? cheetos?
Far more lucrative careers have been ruined over addictions. Tess should have put a lot more effort into figuring out how to treat her emotional eating, but when you’re entitled I guess you just do what you want.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

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and god damn, it isn't that hard to stay the weight she was at. She still would have had to count up the calories to keep herself a consistent weight, but she would have a lot of calories to eat each day however she wanted. Most people who make a career out of their looks have to work infinitely harder and deprive themselves constantly, but tess wouldn't do a trivial amount of work. Her husband's gross fetish and her complete refusal to maintain her appearance ruined a great opportunity. I was at the mall recently and noticed that there are a lot more stores for fat women these days, she really could have made a great career out of plus sized fashion. What a fucking idiot. She threw it away for what, cake? cheetos?
I don't know that she could have. She still fits into Torrid clothing. But she doesn't work there. She lost that gig not because of her size, but because she tried to demand more money than she'd signed off to in her contract. Even if she managed to stay a 20/22 forever, I don't think she'd have many more gigs. Her narcissistic ass would find a way to burn bridges no matter what.
 

dopedodo

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I don't know that she could have. She still fits into Torrid clothing. But she doesn't work there. She lost that gig not because of her size, but because she tried to demand more money than she'd signed off to in her contract. Even if she managed to stay a 20/22 forever, I don't think she'd have many more gigs. Her narcissistic ass would find a way to burn bridges no matter what.
Catalog model with a supermodel attitude.
 

JambledUpWords

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Catalog model with a supermodel attitude.
Even though she’s burnt all those bridges and is a has-been, she has had a pretty good career as a niche plus size model. Besides Ashley Graham, Tess is one of the most well known plus-size models at the moment. The problem for Tess though, is that she’s ballooned so much and has had way too many demands to make anyone want to hire her (and if they do, it’s only for social clout). Ashely on the other hand has been far more humble, stayed roughly the same weight and has worked hard in maintaining good relationships with those that would hire her. Tess has had far more luck than she probably deserves. Even most regular size catalog models don’t get to have the recognition Tess has. Tess peaked when she signed onto M1LK management and it has been downhill since then. I can’t imagine how jealous Tess is of Ashley though.
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
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Even though she’s burnt all those bridges and is a has-been, she has had a pretty good career as a niche plus size model. Besides Ashley Graham, Tess is one of the most well known plus-size models at the moment. The problem for Tess though, is that she’s ballooned so much and has had way too many demands to make anyone want to hire her (and if they do, it’s only for social clout). Ashely on the other hand has been far more humble, stayed roughly the same weight and has worked hard in maintaining good relationships with those that would hire her. Tess has had far more luck than she probably deserves. Even most regular size catalog models don’t get to have the recognition Tess has. Tess peaked when she signed onto M1LK management and it has been downhill since then. I can’t imagine how jealous Tess is of Ashley though.
I'm not a fan of Ashley Graham, but even I will point out that she actually works at keeping her body in decent shape. Yes, she carries a lot of extra fat, but you can't tell me she doesn't work out in order to maintain a certain shape--fat hangs differently on a person with actual muscle mass than it does on a sedentary couchweight, and underneath it all I'll bet she's pretty damned fit. She also has good skin, and a much healthier glow about her than most ordinary women her size, so I doubt the calories needed to maintain her level of chub don't come from eating garbage--no devouring quarter-sheet cakes all by herself.

Ashley Graham has to maintain her body at certain measurements in order to keep working steadily, just like any other model, and she's obviously got the discipline and respect for those who hire her to do that, and makes it a priority. Tess, in the meantime, keeps lying about her size as she grows ever fatter, rougher-looking, and more unhireable, while still maintaining an attitude of, "Fuck you, I'm Tess Holliday, and I'm a supermodel!"

Ashley Graham is still fat, and I would not have sex with her, but she's a professional at what she does, and I can respect that. I also expect that when her modeling career comes to an end, she's smart enough to have a new career waiting in the wings. Tess? She's a lucky amateur who thinks she's a pro, and she'll probably die of a heart attack during a feeder fetish livestream. She has no fucking clue.
 

Paleololicon

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Her big selling point was "big girl with a pretty and normal sized face". She used to have a very cute cleft chin, too - before it dissolved into fat and fillers. She was never going to be a high fashion model, but it was enough for catalog modeling and a good social media presence brand.
View attachment 932136View attachment 932137View attachment 932138

She was an actual size 20-22 who could cross her legs when she first gained ground via campaigns for Domino Dollhouse and around the pinup / burlesque scene.
View attachment 932149

But even before she got preggers however many times Nick has managed to breach her bulwark, he helped to fatten up his prize pig by 100 pounds or more. Not that I've heard her complain about it. But somehow, she claims she's only gone up to a "22-24" - and she's added the 24 with clenched teeth - dispite obviously having gained almost 200 pounds since the last photo above.
She's a 22-24 in Layne Bryant/Torrid size, which is like 16x what human sizes are.

Her face is her biggest tragedy too. Like, she would be a solid 8 or 9 if she lost about 300 elbees. She won't however. It's probably for the better that she's as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside.
 

JambledUpWords

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She's a 22-24 in Layne Bryant/Torrid size, which is like 16x what human sizes are.

Her face is her biggest tragedy too. Like, she would be a solid 8 or 9 if she lost about 300 elbees. She won't however. It's probably for the better that she's as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside.
I don’t know about that. It honestly would be nice if she lost the weight and gained an even bigger ego because of it. It would also ensure that she would produce more milk because she’d be living longer. It would be funny to see her try to backtrack on the #effyourbeautystandards as well.
 

Whatthefuck

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I'm not a fan of Ashley Graham, but even I will point out that she actually works at keeping her body in decent shape. Yes, she carries a lot of extra fat, but you can't tell me she doesn't work out in order to maintain a certain shape--fat hangs differently on a person with actual muscle mass than it does on a sedentary couchweight, and underneath it all I'll bet she's pretty damned fit. She also has good skin, and a much healthier glow about her than most ordinary women her size, so I doubt the calories needed to maintain her level of chub don't come from eating garbage--no devouring quarter-sheet cakes all by herself.

Ashley Graham has to maintain her body at certain measurements in order to keep working steadily, just like any other model, and she's obviously got the discipline and respect for those who hire her to do that, and makes it a priority. Tess, in the meantime, keeps lying about her size as she grows ever fatter, rougher-looking, and more unhireable, while still maintaining an attitude of, "Fuck you, I'm Tess Holliday, and I'm a supermodel!"

Ashley Graham is still fat, and I would not have sex with her, but she's a professional at what she does, and I can respect that. I also expect that when her modeling career comes to an end, she's smart enough to have a new career waiting in the wings. Tess? She's a lucky amateur who thinks she's a pro, and she'll probably die of a heart attack during a feeder fetish livestream. She has no fucking clue.
To piggyback on this:tomgirl: Ashley seems like a nice person who sees her modelling as a genuine career rather than an attention grab which is why, to my knowledge, she’s not featured here. She’s a pretty girl who truly has gone both sides of the modelling spectrum and still manages to get high profile, lucrative work. Tess has managed, much in Amberlynn fashion, to find a weird niche. I’d compare her more to Anna than anyone else in the fashion world.
 

Paleololicon

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I don’t know about that. It honestly would be nice if she lost the weight and gained an even bigger ego because of it. It would also ensure that she would produce more tard cum because she’d be living longer. It would be funny to see her try to backtrack on the #effyourbeautystandards as well.
Tess is a disgusting person. She's incredibly vain and petty, moreso than your average female. She's also extremely disingenuous. She flaunts body positivity but encourages body shaming if the target girl looks attractive. I hold no hope that she'll ever be a positive role model because she always blames someone else for why she looks gross.
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
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... Like, she would be a solid 8 or 9 if she lost about 300 elbees....
More like, "She could have been a solid 8 or 9 had she never gained 300 elbees in the first place."

Her body is perma-rekt. Were she to lose 300 lbs, she'd be a sloshy mass of wrinkled, sagging skin, probably with big, tumor-like lumps on her pannus and thighs, covered with deflated, drooping tattoos. She would require extensive skin-removal surgery for her body to even look human again (good-bye, Divine and Dolly.; hello, massive scars). Her face would look like hell, too, saggy and deflated, and her fillers would look nightmarish.

She's just about hit the end of the road, looks-wise, and she's never coming back.
 

Qi Meng Dealer

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So that show she was going to, uh moddle in? This is the result of inviting Mississippi white trash to your fancy fashion show. It's more spectacular than I could ever have expected.
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I'm not clued in to the fashion industry, but I had always thought that runway shows are where designers are supposed to show people "Hey, I design clothes that make you look good, so here's what I have and make sure to buy and/or commission me!" This particular designer did himself/herself a disservice by getting Tess to work for him/her. Not only was the designer unable to make a great outfit for Tess, Tess also made it worse by looking like an absolute dipshit with her walk and "pose". She's very lucky to have even gotten a single gig in this whole fashion week, and like many of you have mentioned earlier, Tess' modelling career is precipitously falling off a cliff.

Her Anna Nicole Smith spin story is hilarious. I think she's trying to make the association that Anna got fat later on in life, so they're supposedly kindred souls now or some shit like that. Tess is a very shallow person and is trying her darnedest to keep clinging on to relevance (except for losing fat, of course), so expect more of these tenuous associations and elevator stalking photos with celebs from Tess moving forward.

Right, she can’t do the fierce strut most models do by crossing one leg over the front of them as they sashay, because she can’t get her legs to cross like that. There’s just too much fat.

You can see what an ordeal this clompy walk is for her and how it’s a lot more effort than she usually puts out, simply by the fact that she keeps glancing down to make sure she’s not going to walk into something or trip. She is SO BAD at walking a runway, how does she expect to get work? An absolute novice off the street would do a better job. She also looks miserable as she walks. I guess her “mouth open in vintage surprise-style, with tongue clamped to roof of mouth to minimize neck waddle” isn’t something she could reasonably do all the way to the end of the runway. And it’s her only look.
The mouth open look also helps her catch her breath after walking quite a distance (for her). Is it just me or did she open her mouth even before reaching the end of the runway (there's one around the 15-second mark in the video)? It could be she was trying to sneak in gulps of air because just breathing through her nostrils like normal people do when walking casually doesn't get her enough of the air she needs. I could totally be mistaken here, though, it's pure speculation on my part.