Celebrity Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

SpeedOSanicRee

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Here’s what the dress looks like on the store model:
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How exactly do you feel queer Tess? Also, those shoes look ugly with that dress.
You know, I can't imagine why she isn't a model anymore.

Also, I can't really imagine what those shoes would look good with. They're extremely clunky. Maybe they'd look better on someone who didn't look like, well, that, but I don't know.
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I’m super cereal guise. I’m really queer.
Where to begin....
1. You just 'came out' 6 months ago. It hasn't been anywhere close to a year. And you came out just after attending a gay wedding in which you kissed your friend but then swore you were NOT dating her, which I would think would only matter if you didn't want to be seen as queer.
2. Neither of those excuses work for you, sweetie. You live in fucking SoCal. It's one of the safest places in the country to come out. And why wouldn't you (as in, Tess specifically) want to? I'd think if you really were queer you'd have come out much sooner, since you hang around gay people and your hubby is gay. If it was truly about your sexuality I'd think you'd have been more vocal sooner.
3. 'My relationship status is no one's business'. SINCE WHEN? Oh, right, since it looked bad on you.
4. Also, a note--if she truly struggled with putting a label on her sexuality, I'd think she'd pick something better than queer. Queer is what you pick as a copout when nothing else works but you want to be included. I would think if anything, she'd come out as 'queer' and say she's trying to find a better word to describe it and then maybe later decide that bisexual or trans or whatever other letter she wants fits better. Queer is used for two things--when you want to fit into your special snowflake box, or when you're still wondering what you are, you just know you're not cishet (thus why the 'Q' in 'LGBTQ' often stands for questioning instead).
 

LetThemEatCake

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I’m super cereal guise. I’m really queer.
I'm yet to understand what 'queer' even means to people who use it in the contemporary context. I know 'queer' used to be a slur against gay men, specifically. Who then 'reclaimed' it, etc etc.

Now? It seems to be used exclusively by mostly female, 100% heterosexual misfits who would not dream of eating hair pie, but still desperately crave oppression points, entry to gay/trans culture which they fetishize for reasons that elude me, and to be seen as (buzzword klaxxon) 'transgressive' and edgy when they are nothing of the kind. Also see: 'genderqueer', an even more obnoxiously meaningless self-appellation.
 

Water-T

I MEANT TO FILE CHARGES AGAINST THE WRONG CHRIS!
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Now? It seems to be used exclusively by mostly female, 100% heterosexual misfits who would not dream of eating hair pie, but still desperately crave oppression points, entry to gay/trans culture which they fetishize for reasons that elude me, and to be seen as (buzzword klaxxon) 'transgressive' and edgy when they are nothing of the kind. Also see: 'genderqueer.
Bingo. Tess is 100% about the dick. Calling herself "queer" is just an easy way for her to score oppression points and access to the Kewl Kidz Klub
 

JambledUpWords

Y’all are attracted to me, lez be real here
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Given the attraction of this type to drag and gay male (as opposed to lesbian) spaces, I'd say it's just another way of being around dudes, but ones who share an interest in hair, clothes and maybe make-up.
The only dudes that would go for her at this point fall under these categories (with lots of overlap):
  • Men desperate for attention and willing to latch onto a D list celebrity for it
  • Feeders
  • Men with very low standards
  • Men with low self esteem that would put up with narcs
  • Self loathing gay men that need a beard (Nick’s case)
Tess is not a good catch, and likewise, she’ll attract men that are as low quality as she is.
 

Torrent-Tino

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I’m super cereal guise. I’m really queer.
Oh fuck off Tess, it's 100% performative. Coming out as queer seems to be the latest trend for fatties, and it's 100% because they're not getting the attention they hope with the BPos movement, because it's was 'hijacked' by non-fats or some shit. I know 3 obese chicks IRL who are suddenly queer. All married to men you know, but "Mah journey". Calling it 'coming out' is almost as insulting to genuine gay people who've struggled with coming out, as their schtick that they're in the same in the same discrimination as race is to POC. The MO for the online fatties seems to be: I love my body, praise me -> I'm not getting enough praise for loving my body, so here are some lingerie pics -> You guys, I'm QUEER! But please don't ask logical questions, my queerness is my own private business.
 

Water-T

I MEANT TO FILE CHARGES AGAINST THE WRONG CHRIS!
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I honestly wish that one of Tess' "friends" would call her queer bluff. The next time Tess pulls that "OMG I'm so queer y'all and I want to make out with all my queer friends, y'all!", one of them should respond with, "OK, let's make out then!" and watch Tess backpedal fast enough to time travel.
 

JambledUpWords

Y’all are attracted to me, lez be real here
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More like missing not having to raise kids.
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Tess is really trying to hammer in the trauma angle.
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Most companies would lose money trying to make clothes in your size. Fat distribution can get insane the larger someone is. Also, textiles are expensive and people might not want to waste good fabric on bodies like yours.
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Great, more junk she doesn’t need.
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Why couldn’t you do homemade cookies? They are easy and more satisfying to make.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

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Anyone who calls themselves queer is 100% an annoying attention whoring asshole.
EXACTLY. I've never known of someone who identifies as queer who wasn't just pandering or trying to make their sexuality their entire personality. News flash: Being a special snowflake isn't a personality trait.
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More like missing not having to raise kids.
You know what, at this point I don't even give a fuck that she's never with her kids. They're probably better off the less exposure they have to her.
 

ADHD

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She’s as hopeless as Amberlynn
At least Amberlynn has had the decency not to calf. though.

I'm yet to understand what 'queer' even means to people who use it in the contemporary context. I know 'queer' used to be a slur against gay men, specifically. Who then 'reclaimed' it, etc etc.

Now? It seems to be used exclusively by mostly female, 100% heterosexual misfits who would not dream of eating hair pie, but still desperately crave oppression points, entry to gay/trans culture which they fetishize for reasons that elude me, and to be seen as (buzzword klaxxon) 'transgressive' and edgy when they are nothing of the kind. Also see: 'genderqueer', an even more obnoxiously meaningless self-appellation.
Before this current usage, I understood the word to mean "weird" or "strange".
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
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More like missing not having to raise kids.
Gee, Tess, maybe if you hadn't kept lying about your size, and hadn't eaten your way out of fitting into virtually all of the "stylish" plus size lines, maybe you'd still have a career, and be invited back to London.
Or, in the case of Tess, she may in fact be avoiding you, because she's suffered a massive narcissistic injury, has't yet figured out a way to reframe events so she looks good, and is thus avoiding people who know both her and Nick too well to buy that she's the innocent, traumatized victim in all this.

Or you might just ask her uncomfortable questions about what kind of work she has lined up, or where she's living now, or when Nick is coming back, and...she just can't be having that.

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Most companies would lose money trying to make clothes in your size. Fat distribution can get insane the larger someone is. Also, textiles are expensive and people might not want to waste good fabric on bodies like yours.
If only there had been a solution to the problem of the best clothes never coming in anything close to her size. If only she could have changed that situation by consistently making different decisions--decisions that favored fitting into clothes like that, as well as being able to afford them--over a long period of time.

Even if Alexander McQueen made that suit in her size, it would not look anything like that on Tess. The way that suit looks, and that it's as gorgeous as it is, is because it's cut to fit and accentuate lean bodies, and is being displayed on one that is very lean. The sharp lines, impeccable tailoring, and perfect fit, even if they could be graded up to accommodate Tess's proportions, would be obliterated by the blobby, bulging, shifting mass of her body. The only thing she might possibly get out of it would be bragging rights about wearing McQueen, while making the clothes look like shit.

There's a reason the highest-end designers don't do plus sizes (and ones like Christian Siriano only do bespoke gowns for individual fat women, where they know all of the wearer's measurements and exactly how their fat is distributed). On fat women, the clothes are going to look bad, especially in ready-to-wear. It does not help preserve a brand's exclusivity and desirability to make RTW clothes for fats, and never will. You want to wear those clothes? You've got to prioritize having a body that will fit them. You want to be a fatty? Well, you get Modcloth and Torrid and Eloquii--oh, wait, Tess can't even fit in Eloquii any more? Oh, fucking well. She's made her choices, one mouthful at a time.


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Great, more junk she doesn’t need.
She is too fucking old for glitter, and no amount of fillers and Botox and filters is going to change that.
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Why couldn’t you do homemade cookies? They are easy and more satisfying to make.
Because she's white trash. And because her kid isn't worth expending the effort to make and decorate homemade cookies, then clean up afterwards.
 

multiverse

Absolutely, 100% Merissa
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one_time_user

liar. obviously
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the thing is, even superfats have plenty of nice clothing options they just won't get model contracts from them and will have to pay for the clothing.

for example, I shop here: eshakti, they go up to size... 30? 36? and they do custom fit where you measure a shitload of different body parts, distances etc and they make everything to your specific measurements and height.they have lots of things that would work with her aesthetic.

it's not that difficult to dress oneself unless one is just being lazy.
 

multiverse

Absolutely, 100% Merissa
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Tess believes her fat, greasy, juvaderm'd visage is "dewy". (Side note, what's up with the u-haul? Did Jolene finally grow a backbone, or are they all moving to a larger place? I can't imagine Jo had more than a 2 bedroom rental)
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And in other news that will totally help her skin, she's went out drinking last night. Again.
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