Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

Water-T

ONISION GOT DEMONETIZED!
True & Honest Fan
The most hilarious part of her partnering with this particular clothing company is that she tried them on in that Buzzfeed video where she didn't fit anything that wasn't stretchy(basically one dress from forever 21) but SWORE she is 'usually a 3x in everything'. She couldn't even get the skirt up and the jeans didn't cover her ass at all.


LOL. That was 5 years and at least 100 pounds ago, when Tess' arms were just starting to go from water wings to to ham hocks. Even back then she was claiming to be a size 22 and a 3X when that was CLEARLY not the case. The other girls easily put those sizes on but Tess is struggling to get that shit past her KNEES. I would love to see a video with Tess now trying those same sizes. I'd die on the floor laughing as Tess would sweat and struggle just to lift her massive cow legs off the ground.

The two other women in that video would make better models than Tess. They have cute smiles while Tess can only do her dead-eyed stare into the oblivion that is her career.
 

SpeedOSanicRee

Gotta Scroll Fast
That fucking video...how did they get Tess to agree to it? Everyone else is slipping out of the clothes and she's barely able to fit into them. She tried to play off the Torrid shorts and imply they run really, REALLY small ('normally I'm a 22, but according to the sizing guide, I'm a 28, so' then you're a 28, bitch. Shut up), but the other two seemed to think they ran large. Half the comments are 'uhh, Tess is nowhere close to being the same size as Kristin and Sheridan'. I've seen it before and I think about this every time I do because it's ridiculous.

This is why companies don't usually feature plus size models. Fat distribution is very different the larger you are. I'm still not sure how Tess was ever featured as a model anywhere. I get that she usually has, like, one gig per company before she ruins it for herself, but I don't get how she even gets a gig. She's short and fat, two no-nos in the modeling world.
 
That video is pandering rubbish.

Tess is clearly a size or two larger than either of the other women. The measurements that said she's a size 28? That's likely her true size even back then. These days, she's a 32+

They open with 'we took the measurements of three women' then at no point actually tell us what those measurements are, likely because it would blow the idea that they are all the same size out of the water. I expect it is yet another example of Tess being booked for a job on the basis of fake measurements /size then showing up and wrecking the plan for the day. So they avoid telling us the real measurements and pretend it's the clothes' and manufacturers' fault.

On a side note, is anyone as annoyed by Tess's way of speaking as I am. That attempt at drawling and uptalking like a dumb valley girl is grating as fuck. The other two at least speak clearly and not like they have a brain injury.
 
That fucking video...how did they get Tess to agree to it? Everyone else is slipping out of the clothes and she's barely able to fit into them. She tried to play off the Torrid shorts and imply they run really, REALLY small ('normally I'm a 22, but according to the sizing guide, I'm a 28, so' then you're a 28, bitch. Shut up), but the other two seemed to think they ran large. Half the comments are 'uhh, Tess is nowhere close to being the same size as Kristin and Sheridan'. I've seen it before and I think about this every time I do because it's ridiculous.

A lot of the comments for that video are fucking insane:
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 1.29.14 PM.png
Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 1.29.41 PM.png
Yeah, why would someone's true size matter at all for a try-on video with the explicit premise of comparing sizing between brands?

Tess stans are seriously demented.
 

Water-T

ONISION GOT DEMONETIZED!
True & Honest Fan
And best of all, she shared these lovely images of black rings around her necks. Filth rings she can't clean? The beetus? Little of columns a and b?

Both. Poor circulation from having blood like gravy, and because those garbage bags full of rocks that she calls her arms prevent her from lifting her arms high enough to scrub her neck clean.
 

Tragi-Chan

A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
This is why companies don't usually feature plus size models. Fat distribution is very different the larger you are. I'm still not sure how Tess was ever featured as a model anywhere. I get that she usually has, like, one gig per company before she ruins it for herself, but I don't get how she even gets a gig. She's short and fat, two no-nos in the modeling world.
Tokenism. The fashion industry and the media that feed off it are famous for being absurdly demanding, pushing beauty standards that no ordinary person could realistically achieve. Give Tess the odd photo spread and you can claim “No, we think all women are beautiful!” while you fill the rest of your magazine with Photoshopped anorexics.

Plus it sells the illusion that you can cram your maw with eclairs all day and still be desirable, which is certainly going to appeal to a certain number of women.
 

multiverse

Made Misty Michelle Henry Rage Quit
True & Honest Fan
Tess pretends she looks like her fan art
Screenshot_20200214-135643_Chrome.jpg

She gave herself weed for Valentine's, and made Jolene give her a gift, too
Screenshot_20200214-135840_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20200214-135723_Chrome.jpg

She posted photos from something called Hunger Magazine, which is hilarious both because of the name and because I've never heard of it.
Screenshot_20200214-135925_Chrome.jpgScreenshot_20200214-135942_Chrome.jpg

The photos she chose to share aren't much like the photos the "magazine" was promoting
Screenshot_20200214-140023_Instagram.jpgScreenshot_20200214-140043_Instagram.jpg
 
Tess pretends she looks like her fan art
View attachment 1144991

She gave herself weed for Valentine's, and made Jolene give her a gift, too
View attachment 1144992View attachment 1144993

She posted photos from something called Hunger Magazine, which is hilarious both because of the name and because I've never heard of it.
View attachment 1144994View attachment 1144995

The photos she chose to share aren't much like the photos the "magazine" was promoting
View attachment 1144997View attachment 1144998

These are worse than usual. There is literally no hiding her girth or jowls.
 

America's Giggling Gigolo

Pustulant, devoted servant of grandfather Nurgle
So in addition to all the money she spends (where the HELL does she get it?) on makeup, fillers, tacky nails, etc we learn she is also buying weed. How long has this been going on? Marijuana is quite an expensive vice. I'm sure her children must be so filled with gratitude, so proud of their badass mom, as they eat stale, day-old popcorn for dinner while mom gets high and gorges on Tony Roma's.
 
So in addition to all the money she spends (where the HELL does she get it?) on makeup, fillers, tacky nails, etc we learn she is also buying weed. How long has this been going on? Marijuana is quite an expensive vice. I'm sure her children must be so filled with gratitude, so proud of their badass mom, as they eat stale, day-old popcorn for dinner while mom gets high and gorges on Tony Roma's.
Nah, she's gone to a few events for Lowell. I'm pretty sure they send her free PR shit
 

JambledUpWords

Stairs are my worst enemy
True & Honest Fan
I'm sure her children must be so filled with gratitude, so proud of their badass mom, as they eat stale, day-old popcorn for dinner.
She only has Bowie living with her at the moment. Even so, like most things to Tess, he’s a prop to use. The kid looks like he gets fed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she neglected to feed him every once in a while.
 

Water-T

ONISION GOT DEMONETIZED!
True & Honest Fan
So in addition to all the money she spends (where the HELL does she get it?) on makeup, fillers, tacky nails, etc we learn she is also buying weed. How long has this been going on? Marijuana is quite an expensive vice. I'm sure her children must be so filled with gratitude, so proud of their badass mom, as they eat stale, day-old popcorn for dinner while mom gets high and gorges on Tony Roma's.

Some of the stuff, like makeup and fancy ice cream, were freebies in exchange for promotion on Tess' IG. I suspect the rest is from feeder paypigs who ether meet her in person or get access to private cam shows.

she looks like a fuckin couch. like 3-4 people could sit on her stomach comfortably.

I would not be surprised if there is a TV Guide, a remote control, and $3.50 in change stuck in her folds.
 

Similar threads

VenusAngelic's mom, batshit narcissist, homeless stalker, river Kappa
Replies
7K
Views
2M
  • Poll
Edgy king of the tweens, Vegan with deformed dick, Pedo, Destroying the Environment. Serial Domestic Abuser, Served the wrong Chris Hansen.
Replies
41K
Views
10M
  • Poll
Fat, Rapidly Declining Divorced "Nice Guy" Middle-Aged Youtuber, Former Edgy Porn Blogger
Replies
20K
Views
5M
Top