Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

NeoGAF Lurker

An Niggo
kiwifarms.net
I want to buy this fat, black lady a cake of her choice like, right now.
She's got four huge strikes against her on the dating market, before you even get to the worst aspects of her personality.

She's massively fat. Nobody wants that but feeders and fetishists.

She's a single mom. Even fit, attractive single moms have a hard time finding men willing to date them, much less commit. On top of that, she's a shitty mother to the kids she's got, and should not be birthing any more (given her weight), so any decent man who thinks he might want to have kids, or is looking for a good stepmom for his own kids, is going to reject her on that basis. There are plenty of sweet, chubby, younger women with the potential to be good moms out there; Tessie ain't one of them.

She's effectively homeless, and unemployed. If she was making enough money to pay rent on even a tiny place, she would be doing exactly that for the sake of her kids, but she's not. That means she is probably also deep in debt and has a shit credit rating. She's financially unstable and irresponsible, and who wants to hitch himself to that? Again, if he likes fat chicks, there are plenty of younger, nicer ones out there who hold down jobs, pay their bills, and successfully keep a roof over their own damned heads.

She's a washed-up minor celebrity, still trying to play the fame game. Anybody in the LA area she might conceivably accept as a suitable dating partner is going to know exactly what a disaster that is, and stay the fuck away. The only exception would be somebody equally as Narcissistic and fame-hungry, but less well-known, who would use her minor fame to gain exposure for himself, ditching her the moment it was expedient to do so.

And yeah, I'm saying "he" when referring to these hypothetical partners, because that's what she's after.
Her jowls are developing nicely. I'm amazed she posted this pic.
Another big strike of course is that she feels entitled to be with an attractive man with a normal BMI. The best she could really do was a guy who could barely hide his preference for cock. So she doesn’t even want to be in the same league because of some HAES nonsense.

So she has set herself up to fail. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel in terms of getting stable employment, losing the weight, or anything other than continuing to be a dumpster fire posting woke shit on her Instagram. She may talk about therapy and self care but she’s the type of girl who will drop everything for the next guy she likes. She already dropped one kid, the other is as good as gone if she thinks it’ll help her snag a guy who meets her wildly unrealistic expectations.
 

Plastic Inevitable

Actually not a TERF
True & Honest Fan
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A man this size is like the male equivalent of Tess. Tess can say she doesn’t care about body size all she wants, but most FA are hypocrites when it comes to dating and attraction. She also has some mixed messaging in her comments by saying that she won’t “settle for less”, while saying that weight doesn’t matter. If Tess were to be offered a date from a male version of herself, she’d reject him.
I'm a Kinsey 1.5 and I'd far rather date this man than Tess any day of the week and he looks like he weighs 100 lbs less than she does (considering height). Attractive fat men can always get dates when compared to attractive fat women... and Tess is barely attractive anymore. The bloat and the fillers and the bad makeup just make her look like complete shit.
 

Barbarella

Guards! To the Mathmos with this winged fruitcake.
True & Honest Fan
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Somebody beat me to the jowl comment but wow-I’ve seen 60 year old women who don’t have hanging hounddog jowls like hers. The things that woman has done to her body in the name of cake...it’d almost be sad if she was a decent person because she could have been beautiful for many years. And nobody can convince me she still is, or really ever was. She temporarily had a pretty face that she destroyed.

As for bathing with kids-I couldn’t tell what that photo was at first and my mind went to some strange places! I’m glad it was commented on and made clear, but the argument about other cultures is a strawman one. Sure, the Japanese take ritualized communal baths but they also have a mannered culture with many unspoken rules and a society that values conformity over individuality, and they can be quite racist (much more than Tess wants to say we are.). It’s got a rich history and beauty and resilience-but every culture has good and not so good things, and comparing one tiny thing doesn’t work as an argument.

Tess lives in a western culture and here we don’t take relaxing baths with our prepubescent opposite-sexed children. It’s not unheard of but it typically will give others pause. Because they do it in Japan or have a different feeling about nudity has no bearing on our cultural habits and behaviors and it’s just not a valid comparison.

Blah blah, anyway. Tess could give that kid a haircut and he could learn to wash it on his own. That won’t happen because his long hair reflects on her, somehow, in her mind. (Still can’t figure out how.) I doubt that kid ever cared whether his hair was long or short, until he discovered it was important to mom. As long as she wants, it’ll be long. Someday he’ll get mad or need attention and off it’ll go!

Those don’t look like press-on nails to me. In CA, salons are closed, although you can get a manicure outside of a salon if can do it. I can’t imagine Tess sitting outside, in the heat, for an hour to get her nails dipped or have acrylics. So who’s risking Covid for her? And why? She can’t possibly afford it right now.
 

US Marine Hyde

AutistiCATS: the Musical
kiwifarms.net
lol, speaking of Nick, he posted a sexy new selfie on r/nonbinary titled "Giddy up in glitter."
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LOOOLLL

Looks like Nick and Tess both are feeling like stepping out into the dating sphere! Good luck, I’m sure they’ll both find wonderful normal people :optimistic: :optimistic:
What’s with those black felt hats? They had a moment a few years ago and now the only people you see wearing them are crazy.
 

bitter heaux

a gorl on the internet
kiwifarms.net
As for bathing with kids-I couldn’t tell what that photo was at first and my mind went to some strange places! I’m glad it was commented on and made clear, but the argument about other cultures is a strawman one. Sure, the Japanese take ritualized communal baths but they also have a mannered culture with many unspoken rules and a society that values conformity over individuality, and they can be quite racist (much more than Tess wants to say we are.). It’s got a rich history and beauty and resilience-but every culture has good and not so good things, and comparing one tiny thing doesn’t work as an argument.

Tess lives in a western culture and here we don’t take relaxing baths with our prepubescent opposite-sexed children. It’s not unheard of but it typically will give others pause. Because they do it in Japan or have a different feeling about nudity has no bearing on our cultural habits and behaviors and it’s just not a valid comparison.
as much as i want to take the piss out of americans for being so weird about nudity, you're right. she's definitely weird with her kids... possibly because she spent so little time with them, she has never developed any motherly instincts or a mother-child relationship.
lol, speaking of Nick, he posted a sexy new selfie on r/nonbinary titled "Giddy up in glitter."
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look at that sad sad hanging gut and gold fringe covering up his utter lack of musculature. you're a father, nick, put some clothes on
 

Smiling Honeybadger

Still not giving a fuck.
kiwifarms.net
lol, speaking of Nick, he posted a sexy new selfie on r/nonbinary titled "Giddy up in glitter."
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I know gay men who would be like: "Darling, tone down the faggotry! It's embarrassing!!" But it is also a testament how a person lacking in
creativity and personality tries his hands on "mahhh individuality!" Only to come out as an almost painful gay stereotype.

And concerning the discussion about nude bathing with Your kids. Sure different cultures have different views on this. But I believe, in the age of internet and the sick fucks inhabiting it, there should be one consensus. You don't blast photos of Your nude bathing child all over social media.
 

lamp shade

kiwifarms.net
LOOOLLL

Looks like Nick and Tess both are feeling like stepping out into the dating sphere! Good luck, I’m sure they’ll both find wonderful normal people :optimistic: :optimistic:
What’s with those black felt hats? They had a moment a few years ago and now the only people you see wearing them are crazy.
Oh man, I hope Nick finds a new partner soon. Not because he deserves it, he’s absolutely insufferable, but the freak outs from Tess will be GRAND. I would bet that she will suddenly be posting about all of the dates she’s going on (with no proof) and how great it is to be free.
 

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
kiwifarms.net
lol, speaking of Nick, he posted a sexy new selfie on r/nonbinary titled "Giddy up in glitter."
View attachment 1490368
FFS, Nicky-boy; how old are you? Way too fucking old for shit like this.

I'd be embarrassed for him if he wasn't such a useless pantload. C'mon lad; cultivate just a wee bit of dignity. It won't kill you.

Somehow, we're supposed to believe that Tess had no idea he was anything but a great guy, and failed to see any red flags that would have given a sane woman pause. Right.

That said, this was the absolute best Two-ton Tessie: Supermoddle could do in the man department.

Savor that thought, Kiwis.

If Tess could have done better; if she had any other acceptable options at all, she never would have had to import this "millionaire businessman" from the far side of the planet. And the years since she had to resort to Nick in order to get a man to complete her Narcissist's vision of a perfect life, with a husband who adored her fat self, have done her no favors. The brief glory days that made her attractive to an opportunistic fuckup looking to come to the US to get away from his failures back home? Those are over.

All she's going to get now are feeders and fetishists who don't want to be seen in public with her, much less be identified as her boyfriend, much less marry her and give her the financial bailout she desperately needs. Seems right.
 

DrainRedRain

Privilege King™
True & Honest Fan
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It would actually be a huge improvement for her online persona if she just knocked off the dumb teenager's lingo and BLM bullshit. Like, things like this get old FAST. Even the blacks who were protesting it a month ago toned it down by now. She just looks desperate for validation from the woke crowd. Protip Tess: You'll never please them. Never. See that trans(?) guy you're orbiting now? First ''microaggression'' by your part and you're done. These people will eat you alive before you even notice.

Also, mood: hungry? Isn't being hungry part of Tess' whole personality, after all?
 

multiverse

Not actually Merissa OR Heather
True & Honest Fan
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What if I can't pronounce his name?
I really can't.
That's probably not his real name anyway.

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They've never met in person? There's no mention of her on his Instagram. She has commented on a few of his posts.
He posts 24/7 woke crap. It's worse than her. She's using him for woke clout. He's non binary. (Or trans? Or trans non binary? Or something.)
He has more tattoos than her and has the acab one. (I had to look it up, all cops are bastards.) She commented she wants one too. Plus a t-shirt. Good luck finding one that will fit, Tess.
No, Tess has never met Olly in person. Only lives in London, so the chances that they'll meet any time on the next couple of years is slimmer than Tess's sense of boundaries.

Olly is a confused lesbian who thinks the only way to be butch is being a trendy nonbianary they/them thing. Olly is signed to a small but legitimate modeling agency.

What good ol' Olly is probably discovering is that like the original flash in the pan androgynous crossover success, Andrej / Andrea Pejic, after having a season or two of success doing the gender bending thing largely saw her jobs drop off after her sex change, the gender bending act has quickly diminishing returns. If you tattoo yourself like a middle schooler doodles in the margins of their notebook, this decline i creases further.

So I assume she and Tess are using one another for clout, a symbiotic circle of narcissistic suck.