Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Landwhale model, Body positive activist, and gigantic fraud

[NeoGAF Lurker]

Rylee's dad wised up early and never sent Ryann a dime, knowing it would never reach his son and only give Ryann ammo. I'm sorry for Rylee that his dad is a deadbeat, but I also can't blame the dude knowing what Ryann is really like.

I’d bet a champagne cake from the Madonna Inn that Ryann does not actually know who Rylee’s father is. The state will do the legwork for her to DNA test potential fathers but if she doesn’t even know the guy’s name, they can’t track him down and do a DNA test. Probably just some drunken, sloppy hookup that Tess barely remembers the morning after.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Probably just some drunken, sloppy hookup that Tess barely remembers the morning after.

Ah, Tess’ fuckin’ years. Long gone and fondly remembered. It’s been a while since her knees bent any way but backward, and her tits pointed any way but down.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Or he got relentlessly bullied for being an overweight son of an obese attention whore and dropped some weight. I don't trust anyone associated with Tess to be a decent person, I believe any success Rylee has is only due to his own effort and his teachers and not the existence of a decent adult that's associated with his mother, especially not someone who dated her and didn't run away after learning about her nasty personality.

Usually I wouldn’t trust anyone who knows Ryann either, but the guy Rylee now lives with was decent enough to take in and raise a kid he didn’t even father, and a teen at that. Not a lot of deadbeat arseholes would do that, even if Ryann was throwing them some paltry monthly stipend for it. I think if Rylee was suffering in a different-but-similar neglectful home, he wouldn’t be looking as well as he does now. I think he’s got some home structure in his life finally, maybe sports, and I say good for him.

Also for the “there are no kids’ parties in America anymore” posters, yes there are. Won’t PL but I lived in America and kids’ parties rentals and party characters do a brisk business, or at least up they did until Covid. Neighbourhood birthday parties were common where I was, especially among the faux-mansion middle class.

Our fat friend Kelly Lenza, she of the ultra-woke, ultra Covid precautions, even documented herself at a totally necessary kids’ birthday party some months ago, where they totally social distanced, HAD to go, it was vital...and she or someone else caught Covid at it.

 

[Umaibae]

Kid parties are probably still common with Basic White Pinterest Moms, Mormon Moms and Midwestern Moms. But I lived in the same area as Tess for almost all of my life, and the hipster millennial parents aren’t really doing the massive kiddie birthdays anymore, at least from what I know and saw.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Kid parties are probably still common with Basic White Pinterest Moms, Mormon Moms and Midwestern Moms. But I lived in the same area as Tess for almost all of my life, and the hipster millennial parents aren’t really doing the massive kiddie birthdays anymore, at least from what I know and saw.

I wonder if this has more to do with Covid, shrinking social circles, or just parents not emphasizing celebrating their children like that.

With Bowie at least, Tess doesn’t seem to arrange play dates often or seek play dates with anyone but her BFF of the day’s children.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Bottom line, her pussy smells SO bad, it literally made a man run away into the night.

Where was the aroma of her nether regions discussed?

 

[Black Death]

Bottom line, her pussy smells SO bad, it literally made a man run away into the night.

"Jingle bells, Ryann smells,
Black dude ran away..."

 

[Gay Mouth]

Where was the aroma of her nether regions discussed?

If I recall correctly she had a Chantal parallel episode where she made out with a guy and got groped in a car, only for him to dip like 15 minutes later, because she’s an annoying bint but more likely because her yeasty grey folds reek.

Tess would not deign to tell us which, she just mewled that cis men were trash, imagine ghosting Queen Crisco.

 

[Ogg66]

If I recall correctly she had a Chantal parallel episode where she made out with a guy and got groped in a car, only for him to dip like 15 minutes later, because she’s an annoying bint but more likely because her yeasty grey folds reek.

Tess would not deign to tell us which, she just mewled that cis men were trash, imagine ghosting Queen Crisco.

Im sure there are creatures in those yeasty folds that are banned under chemical war laws

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Probably just some drunken, sloppy hookup that Tess barely remembers the morning after.

Wonder why she didn't go through abortion; that's definitely wasn't “wanted, long-awaited“ pregnancy

 

[NoReturn]

I don’t think one of my sibling’s kid’s has ever had a kid birthday party, and this kid just turned 10.

On the one hand, this isn't necessarily a bad thing if you consider how many "kids' parties" Boomers put on were actually for the parents, but something tells me this isn't being replaced with anything better for the children. Also, wouldn't they see things like birthday parties in media and wonder why they don't have them?

I’d bet a champagne cake from the Madonna Inn that Ryann does not actually know who Rylee’s father is. The state will do the legwork for her to DNA test potential fathers but if she doesn’t even know the guy’s name, they can’t track him down and do a DNA test. Probably just some drunken, sloppy hookup that Tess barely remembers the morning after.

Her Afalona profile literally says this is the case:

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

If I recall correctly she had a Chantal parallel episode where she made out with a guy and got groped in a car, only for him to dip like 15 minutes later, because she’s an annoying bint but more likely because her yeasty grey folds reek.

Tess would not deign to tell us which, she just mewled that cis men were trash, imagine ghosting Queen Crisco.

That's so, so, so, tragic!!! And it must be some sort of Stockholm Syndrome that she, the Great Queer Goddess, always tries to hook up with these dang dirty cis-males, instead of trying to date other women, trans men, trans women, some other gender flavour.

And making pathetic little remarks, that immediately get shot down by your part time gender special room mate, or cringy kisses with other women don't count.

Tess it's Pride Month, go outside and enjoy Your totally true and honest Queerness!!!

 

[Gay Mouth]

Yeah, real “jocular” relationship they have going, with Rylee embarrassed to be her son and Tess constantly passive aggressively outing him to her millions of viewers

 

[blue gopher snakes]

On the one hand, this isn't necessarily a bad thing if you consider how many "kids' parties" Boomers put on were actually for the parents, but something tells me this isn't being replaced with anything better for the children. Also, wouldn't they see things like birthday parties in media and wonder why they don't have them?

Her Afalona profile literally says this is the case:
View attachment 2226008

Is the text translated from another language? It has a blunt matter-of-fact quality to it that I associate with translation. Either that or Tess wrote it herself. Personally I would find either option equally believable.

 

[Antipathy]

On the one hand, this isn't necessarily a bad thing if you consider how many "kids' parties" Boomers put on were actually for the parents, but something tells me this isn't being replaced with anything better for the children. Also, wouldn't they see things like birthday parties in media and wonder why they don't have them?

Her Afalona profile literally says this is the case:
View attachment 2226008

By her own admission she did not love her son until he was a toddler.

 

[Big Ben]

Her Afalona profile literally says this is the case:
View attachment 2226008

Wow. I can't imagine how emotionally messed up I'd be as a teenager if my mom straight up called my dad, half of the couple who brought me into this world, a pump and dump. That's so fucking depressing.

And she's such a bad narc she didn't even love him when he was a cute baby. This shit is so fucking sad, no wonder Rylee never wants to be around his POS 'mother'. He basically has a sperm donor and egg donor as parents. How utterly alienated he must've felt throughout his life.

 

[Umaibae]

I wonder if this has more to do with Covid, shrinking social circles, or just parents not emphasizing celebrating their children like that.

With Bowie at least, Tess doesn’t seem to arrange play dates often or seek play dates with anyone but her BFF of the day’s children.

No no no. This was a thing long before coronavirus.

And yes, Bowie seems terribly isolated from other kids. Tess doesn’t seem to live in a family-oriented apartment building, so I highly doubt he even has neighbor kids around. If he isn’t going to school, he’s not getting that interaction either. Long story short, he should have been in F/T school starting last year. Pre-K is good for kids.

On the one hand, this isn't necessarily a bad thing if you consider how many "kids' parties" Boomers put on were actually for the parents, but something tells me this isn't being replaced with anything better for the children. Also, wouldn't they see things like birthday parties in media and wonder why they don't have them?

As I mentioned in my original thread about this, a lot of the “I’m a mindful parent” hipster parents are opting for things like family-only gatherings (ie mom, dad and grandparents) or doing “special birthday days” where the kid gets to pick a place they want to go for the day with the parents and siblings — you know, like a zoo, museum, amusement park, the beach whatever. Personally, I think that’s OK? Kind of prevents kids from becoming little shithead narcissists if a birthday is a day you only spend with your immediate family.

Also, to be perfectly clear, I’m taking about kids around ages 3-8. I have no idea if teenagers still do sleepovers and shit. I’m also seeing a growing trend of no baby birthdays — which I support wholeheartedly. Your kid doesn’t know it’s turning 1. This is more for mommy to show off than for the kid.

Do kids watch 90s movies? Because I don’t get the impression the big birthday bash is something shown in the current crop of kids crap.

Anyway, this is the last I’ll speak of this. Believe it or not. (Lots of stuff online to back it up though.) All I can say is that in California, this is a dying trend. Good riddance. I don’t wanna go to your baby’s birthday party.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

By her own admission she did not love her son until he was a toddler.

Why would she even mention that? What does she think Rylee feels when he sees that?

Just when I think I can't loathe this sloppy, fatass more, she does something to make me hate her even more.
I will take all the top hats now.

 

[Free the Pedos]

By her own admission she did not love her son until he was a toddler.

That’s really strange and off putting to me. Humans are programmed to love infants so we don’t kill them while they’re screaming and shitting everywhere. Sure, someone might not love the baby stage best, but to say you didn’t feel maternal towards him while he was a baby sounds like the background of a serial killer. Kids in foster care for 6 months end up with RAD.

 

[Gay Mouth]

It really bugs me how Ryann moans about how hard it was to be a young single mawm with Rylee. So you had to put in a couple more hours at the Walmart. It wasn’t a teen pregnancy, she was 20 when she had him. I know that’s still young, but it’s old enough to either choose an abortion or pony up and raise your child. Your life isn’t over when you have kids, unless you’re a shiftless loser who didn’t have anything going anyways, and you decide you want to be even MORE useless than before by abandoning your child too.

If you compile in his whole life to figure out the times he’s stably lived with her-

• 1-2 grandma raised him

• Basically every summer he went to grandma

• Grandma raised him in Ryann’s one bed apartment while she got Nick on the hook, approx 7-10 years of age

•finally a tiny bit of “stability” -which Ryann now claims was a torrent of abuse- when he had Nick as a reluctant dad (“I hate kids” or somethin) and Bowie is conceived and born, 10-14

• the relationship blows up and Nick promptly stops calling him his son

• Rylee moves with some non-related ex who Tess bad mouths, ironically placing him in safety and stability

She’s been flinging him off on anyone she could his whole life.

Rylee, if you ever read this, you don’t deserve such an evil, self centered, bloviating whale for a mother. Love your grandma and the man who treats you like a son, because they care about you beyond being an accessory to trot out once a month for likes.