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The 2017 NFL Season

Discussion in 'Hulkamania' started by El Porko Fako, Aug 12, 2017.

  1. I've noticed there is virtually no discussion about the upcoming football season, so here we are. I'm hoping this can turn into a general NFL thread where we can talk about everything from games, teams, hilarious bad commentary, players who display idiotic behavior and could be considered sportscows in there own right, the works.

    Preseason can be fun/hilarious to watch (ex: the Broncos/Bears game on Thursday where a snap to proposed starting Bears QB Mike Glennon somehow shot 90 degrees into the fucking air), but it's often meaningless and rarely is it an indication of how good your team is going to be. So I thought I'd start this thread in a different way while we wait for the regular season to start. What is everyone's predictions for standings in each division?

    Here's how I think it's going to go this year.

    AFC West
    1st.Kansas City Chiefs
    2nd.Oakland Raiders
    3rd.Denver Broncos
    4th.Los Angeles Chargers

    AFC South
    1st.Houston Texans
    2nd.Tennessee Titans
    3rd.Indianapolis Colts
    4th.Jacksonville Jaguars

    AFC East
    1st.New England Patriots
    2nd.Miami Dolphins
    3rd.Buffalo Bills
    4th.New York Jets

    AFC North
    1st.Pittsburgh Steelers
    2nd.Cincinnati Bengals
    3rd.Baltimore Ravens
    4th.Cleveland Browns :briefs:

    NFC West
    1st.Seattle Seahawks
    2nd.Arizona Cardinals
    3rd.Los Angeles Rams
    4th.San Francisco 49ers

    NFC South
    1st.Atlanta Falcons
    2nd.Tampa Bay Buccaneers
    3rd.Carolina Panthers
    4th. New Orleans Saints

    NFC East
    1st.Dallas Cowboys
    2nd.New York Giants
    3rd.Washington Redskins
    4th.Philadelphia Eagles

    NFC North
    1st.Green Bay Packers
    2nd.Detroit Lions
    3rd.Minnesota Vikings
    4th. Chicago Bears

    Despite the Browns being dirty crapped briefs and the whipping boys of the NFL this past offseason, I honestly think the Jets are probably going to end up with the worst record in the league this year. The Browns at least got a decent WR in Kenny Britt in free agency. The Jets don't have an offense to speak of.
     
    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  2. Raiders will win the AFC West, Titans will somehow win the South by going 8-8.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
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  3. I'd love for the Raiders to win the west, but I don't think their defense is quite there yet and I think that's going to be there downfall.

    I'm taking a shot in the dark about the Texans winning the AFC South. That division is complete garbage and it's a toss up who's going to clinch it really. The only thing I'm certain of is that the Jaguars aren't going to win it.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  4. I agree with the OP on everything save the West divisions

    AFC West will be won by the Raiders

    NFC West will be won by the Cards as the Seahawks continue their descent and might actually come in 3rd to a resurgent San Fran
     
    TiggerNits

    TiggerNits Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
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  5. Don't know if anyone else watch the preseason game between the Rams and the Cowboys, but god damn that game sucked, even for a preseason game it was bad. I don't know how you manage to fumble the ball 9 times in one game, but these 2 teams found a way.
     
    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  6. This time next year, the 2017 Football season won't matter, so there's no point.

    Besides. We all know the usual she-bang, don't we? The lesser teams duke it out, with the Miami Dolphins doing the usual better performance, but still gets taken out mid season despite high hopes that, maybe, for fucking once since the 70s, the Miami Dolphins makes the Super Bowl. But of course not.

    And, of course, the Super Bowl will be have either Denver, Seattle, New England, Baltimore, or New Orleans.

    And the halftime show at the Super Bowl will probably feature Beyonce Knowles, her twin babies, and will include another illuminati performance while the "fans" blindly give Beyonce Knowles (I can never call her by just her first name) their energy. Exactly what she's asking for.

    And then it will FINALLY be Basketball season again.

    I love Basketball so much better than Football. In Football, all I see is people running around, and the public crowd cheering over what I call "Not-scores"
     
    TrippinKahlua

    TrippinKahlua The Pink Sphere
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  7. thats why there will be a thread for the 2018 season
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    CatParty

    CatParty Boo
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  8. The Jets are a train wreck, but the smart money says the Browns will crash and burn their way to the worst record in the NFL in 2017. With the exception of the 2008 Lions, I can safely say no team has been more consistently or mind-blowingly awful in the past decade than Cleveland. Their front office is so dysfunctional it makes the Trump White House look like a well-oiled machine; their coaching staff seems at times to be on the verge of civil war; their player roster has all the work ethic and motivation of a lobotomized sloth; their principal owner can legitimately be described as an incompetent lunatic. They are, in a word, the biggest disaster Ohio has seen since the Cuyahoga River caught fire.
     
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  9. No. You're 1 of 5. Unless every other team and their players in the NFC die in several plane crashes, the New Orleans "no defense" Saints are not going to the Super Bowl for several years.

    You're in luck then. I'm planning on making an NBA thread when the season comes around.
     
    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  10. It really sucks that we have to put up 42 points and that still isn't a guarantee that we'll win. I miss the Dome Patrol, best linebacker corps in history. Pat Swilling, Sam Mills, Rickey Jackson, and Vaughan Johnson. Even with Jim Mora's extremely conservative coaching, using Morten Anderson to win games with field goals and using the legendary defense to keep the opponent from scoring, they still did well even without a great offense.

    Saints fans fantasize about a high powered Brees offense with the dome patrol on defense, they would be winning Super Bowls like San Francisco was in the 80's.

    We have Adrian Petersen this season but I'm not too optimistic about that. Like you said they need a damn defense. It sucks that New England has been winning Super Bowls so often because whenever they play the Saints, we usually whip the piss out of them.
     
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    Coleman Francis

    Coleman Francis I'm... gonna... keep... doing my thang.
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  11. i keep reading articles about the effects of tanking season has on the team economies. from good to bad effects. it is an epidemic. its so accepted these days that the jets openly are tanking this and possibly next season.
     
    CatParty

    CatParty Boo
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  12. I predict the New England Seahawks will win the premiership cup.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    Ariel

    Ariel Sorbet
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  13. I thought the Raiders moved to Las Vegas?

    The Steelers need a new quarterback to train up. Ben is getting old, and the only reason they'll stay in the top is because of who is in their division.
     
    neverendingmidi

    neverendingmidi it just goes on and on and on and on...

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  14. The Raiders are moving to Vegas in 2020. The stadium is still being built.

    I don't blame them at all. That team is devoid of any talent and their is no reason for any name player to go there unless they're in the twilight years of their career and they can't land a job anywhere else. Their best option is to tank and hope that someone really good comes along in the draft. It's really a shame too, because I honestly believe like Todd Bowles could be a great coach in the NFL. The Jets organization continues to give him nothing to work with though.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  15. I feel bad for Howie Long, having a boy that's such a goddamed cuck
     
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    TiggerNits

    TiggerNits Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
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  16. the Raiders had a shot last year, but their defense hadnt gelled yet. this year they might.
     
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    Maiden-TieJuan

    Maiden-TieJuan DTF You IRL
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  17. Yeah, their defense is good enough for a spot in the Divisional round, Kansas City is a solid team, but something about them doesn't feel like they'll make the playoffs and Denver, while having a lights-out defense doesn't have enough power on offense to be a real contender yet for anything past a wildcard
     
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    TiggerNits

    TiggerNits Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
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  18. If that Rams preseason game is any indication, I'm not that hopeful. They were struggling against the 1st string Rams offense with all there starters in, which was really hard for me to watch as a fan. I'll give that Rams offense credit though, Cooper Kupp is looking like he's going to be a great go-to target for Jared Goff. God knows he needed it since Kenny Britt went to the Browns.

    I'm hoping that once Conley is healthy and playing, he lives up to expectations. That Raiders secondary is going to need it.

    The team that really shat the bed this weekend though was the LA Chargers. Their first string offensive line was getting penetrated by the fucking Saints of all teams. That Chargers O-line made Manti Te'o look like Lawrence Taylor. It was really pathetic.
     
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    El Porko Fako

    El Porko Fako You know you've been a real bad girl Gwen
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  19. Football sucks.

    And people who get all pissed off after "our team" LOL lost suck even more.
     
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  20. I think Houston is on the verge of a very strong run, possibly as deep as the super bowl. Their defense is attacking the ball and playing smart in the secondary, their offense is shaping up to be an effective power running team with solid protection in the pocket. I think they'll struggle in the first 3 games before it clicks for them though, Savage isn't the guy I'd be pushing as the starter, but a few games on the bench will be good for Watson to get a feel for the pace of the pros
     
    TiggerNits

    TiggerNits Yankee vampire living off the blood of the poor
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