Sonichu The Amazing Adventures of Christian West Chandler, aka Chris Gets Superpowers. -

[Randall Fragg]

Episode One.
The Two Brothers.
Mankind's fate has always hung in the balance of two entities, Brother Light and Brother Darkness. They've known many names, God and Satan, Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca, Ra and Apep. Brother Light is devoted to raising humanity, promoting peace, intelligence, learning, and understanding. Brother Darkness is devoted to dragging humanity to ignorance, greed, barbarity, and extinction. They are locked in an eternal game of chess, both trying to get the upper hand.
Over the millennia they have appeared to many humans. Some were called prophets. Most were called madmen. For the Brother's forms are incomprehensible. Brother Light appears as a human, or rather the ideal of a human, wrapped in a halo of scouring light. Brother Light is the perfect human, so perfect that one is made aware of all their flaws and imperfections, and driven to insanity in the nanoseconds before they are incinerated by the radiant glow Brother Light emits. Brother Light doesn't like appearing before mortals. Brother Darkness loves it however. It loves watching people gaze upon it, see their brains struggle to make sense of it, watch the dawning terror and insanity. Brother Darkness is just that, a complete absence of light, a shadowy, ever-changing form, occasionally forming maws or claws or tendrils, or reenacting some horror perpetuated by it's disciples.
Brother Darkness found CWC, and saw a potential instrument of destruction. Brother Darkness observed The One Who Shall Bring Devastation, and begun to plan.

The One Who Shall Bring Devastation was naked, staring at a Sailor Moon poster, furiously yanking his genitalia, and making noises akin to a dying hog. "Yeeawwgghernnnnn", Christian West Chandler cried, "Ynnnnungrrrgghhh". Drawn by the bizarre noise, Bob Chandler walked in. "Boy, what the hell are you - OHMYFUCKINGGOD!" Bob grimaced in horror at his son's greasy, naked flesh.
CWC jumped up and stumbled off his bed, falling flat on his face. "Dad, git outta my room, dis is my roowm", he sputtered. Bob was happy to oblige. Chris got back on his bed and resumed torturing his mangled duck. Spanking Sonichu was tiring work, and Chris fell into slumber minutes after achieving liftoff, not even bothering to wipe his comeuppance off of his hands and crouch. And bed sheets. And arms. And chest. And face.

 

[Dr. Meme]

Starts off promising, lets see where It goes from here.
That last paragraph was disgusting though. I've seen worse tho

 

[exball]

I was promised super powers not excessive detail of Chris whacking off.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Episode Two

In which Chris gets superpowers.

Chris crashed into slumber like a walrus flying a jet. He soon found himself in a fateful dream. He was floating in a void of darkness. Real darkness. He flailed around blindly, he was completely deprived of any form of stimuli. And then he heard a voice. At least, he thought he did;he wasn't sure if he heard it or it just popped into his mind. "Christian West Chandler. Out of billions of your kind, I have chosen you-"
"Well, of course. I mean, I'm the the creator of Sonichu." Chris thought he heard a groan. "Alright, so yes, because you created Soncu I have decided to bestow on to you-"
"I'm getting married? B-but, who's the sweetheart?"
"Well, His name is Josh- That's betrothed you fucking idiot! I'm bestowing on to you powers of an arcane nature, that shall make you a Titan among men."
It noted the blank expression on Chris's face.
"Look, I'm giving you superpowers, ok?"
Chris's face lit up. "Su-superpowers? Well, I certainly am the one to deserve dem".
Brother Darkness would have face palmed if it had palms. "Say, who are you?" asked Chris.
"Oh, just a friend".
And with that Chris could see, and immediately wished he couldn't. An immense Thing surrounded him. Blobs of pure shadow formed mouths, teeth, a giant unblinking compound eye. A tentacle approached Chris. It was made of human arms, skeletal, and stitched together. The tentacle grabbed him, and the arms went to work. They grabbed his legs and arms and pulled. Hands covered his face, as pain shot through his limbs. And then he was somewhere else. A muddy battlefield, filled with blood and rotting bodies. Chris felt something pull in his ankles, and he fell face first into the mud. It was a human chest, arms still attached, but missing it's legs and neck. Chris tried to escape, but was pulled other bits of gore. Intestines wrapped around him like rope, and pulled him into the mud. Then, out of the rain and smoke, came a figure. A lone man, clad in a trench coat, military uniform of some sort, helmet, and gas mask strode through the field. The man came up to Chris, and stooped down. Chris gazed into the eyeholes, each an event horizon.
Chris shat himself.
"Just a friend, Mr. Chandler".

Chris bolted up in bed, and was immediately aware that the shitting himself part wasn't a dream. After cleaning himself up, he returned to his room and thought. He decided to test if he had powers or not. First, he tried to make a cup of coffee boil with heat vision. Nothing happened, and he had cold coffee. Then, he tried to see if he had night vision, and got stuck in a closet. Finally, he sighed and concluded that he didn't have powers. He glanced over at a drawing of Sonichu. Something seemed different. Instinctively, he thought "make Sonichu real".
A giant electric rodent appeared in Chris's bedroom. "Hello Father, isn't today a wonderful day? Sonichu zap to the extreme!".
Chris ran through the hallway.
"Sonichu's real, Sonichu's real!".
Barb heard this, and just mumbled "that's nice dear". Chris ran to find his dad. Bob was watching the Military Channel and trying to forget Chris when Chris came barging in. "Dad, dad, I made Sonichu real with my mind, come see come see!"
"Great" thought Bob, "Chris finally snapped." Bob looked over at Chris, and saw him standing next to a five foot tall electric rat. Bob looked back at the TV, and then back at Sonichu. Bob screamed. "Yeah, I'm so happy I could scream too!" Said Chris, mistaking his dad's terrified yell for one of joy. Bob huddled behind his chair, hoping that the yellow thing would leave and stop glaring at him with it's soulless eyes. He got his wish, as Chris and Sonichu proceeded outside. Chris had thought of the first thing he wanted to do with his powers. Get revenge. He angrily blasted a trashcan to bits with an energy ball, just like in his comics, as he thought of a certain Manajerk who had banned him. He was going to take down that mean troll who had dragged him to court.

 

[Randall Fragg]

The Amazing Adventures Of Christian West Chandler.

Episode Three: The Wrath of the Manajerk!

Micheal Snyder was returning from his lunch break. As he walked through the parking lot towards The GAMePLACe, he heard an all too familiar voice. "Micheal Snyder, or should I say Manajerk! At last we meet!".
"Ah, Christ," thought Micheal, "he's back". Micheal turned around. "Chandler, what the hell are you doing? You're banned from the store. And what the hell are you wearing?"
Chris had created a crude costume out of a dirty red and blue striped shirt, a cape made out of a white t-shirt with "Christ Chan and Sonichu" scrawled on it with magic marker, tight fitting and stained jeans, a pair of his dad's boxers on the outside of the jeans, and a "Sonichu" medallion. A toy pistol was stuck down the front of his pants, and he carried a plastic guitar. "Evil doing Manajerk, you reign of terrur on the go-good people of Charlottesville and Ruckersville shall end! Prepare to do battle!". Micheal stared in bemusement. "Chandler, you're banned. You can't come in the store. You already got arrested over this. Look, just calm down and go home, ok?"
"You, you can't sic your cops on me again, Manajerk! You umilialed me in your kangaroo court, but I have returned to deal justice is what I am doing!"
It dawned on Micheal that Chandler may have finally snapped. He started backing away, planning on calling the cops. "You have have underestimated me Manajerk," called Chris, "for I have Sonichu on my side! Sonichu is strong, and you are weak!"
"Great, now he's ranting about that goddamn comic of his", thought Micheal. "Sonichu, come here, lets defeat the Manajerk by zapping to extreme!".
Micheal's suspicion that Chris had gone off to la-la land were confirmed. He resumed backing away. "Hey Chris, look, I'm really sorry that I banned you. Look, how about I unban you, and you can come into the store and do whatever you want and not try anything bad, ok?" Micheal said, trying to get Chris to calm down while he called the police. "Doesn't that sound- HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT?"
Micheal was referring to the large, bright yellow abomination that had stepped out from behind a car. "Father, we shall destroy the jerk" the deadeyed monstrosity yelled.
Micheal's confusion was short lived, as he failed to notice Chris hurl an energy ball at him.
Micheal exploded.
Chris screamed in excitement. He had defeated the Manajerk! He had freed the GAMePLACe! He was a hero. He barged into the store. People ran from him. "He blew up Mr. Snyder", someone yelled.
"Peepul of GAMePLACe, the diabolic rule of Snyder is over! I have freed you all from his tiertranny! Hurray for Chris!".
Chris turned and ran, heading off to save the day once more.

"Leather thong, bare exposed chest? Come on man, it so freaking obvious!"
"Hey, Eternia is like in the dark ages, that sort of shit is like the dress code there!"
"Cleatus, he's a young man who leads a secret double life as a dude who runs around half naked. Don't tell me you don't so no homoerotic subtext there."
"He-Man ain't queer, he's just con-fo-dent in his masculinity! Why the hell we even talkin bout this Tyrus?"
"Because, hey wait, the radio is doing stuff."
Officer Tyrus sit up and picked up the radio receiver. "Hello, this is Officer Tyrus, I'm with Officer Cleatus in squad car 7."
A confused voice sounded over the police radio. "Uh, yeah, we're getting calls out from, uh, the GAMePLACe, about somebody being blown up by a fat dude in a costume and an, uh, giant yellow sonic the hedgehog. Could you go check into that, we think someone just dropped a shit ton of LSD in the parking lot and called us."
Tyrus turned the car on and rolled out of the conviniance store parking lot. Cleatus grinned. "Oh man, remember the last time we had a guy trippen in the back? That was fucking hilarious. Fucker was all like 'rainbows are flying outta ma ass, and dolphin purple moon'. HwooWhee them was good times."
Tyrus grinned. "Yeah, and the he started licking the seat 'cause he thought it was pizza. An when we go to pull him outta the car he all like 'no, this is my magic dolphin pizza. It shows me the future of juice and the future is banana!'"
Tyrus turned the car into the parking lot of the GAMePLACe, and they both immediately knew that this wasn't just some stoned teen. Mostly because of the body parts. The squad car stopped. The people gathered around in the parking lot looked at it as a scrawny white cop with a confederate flag belt buckle and a cowboy hat and an muscular black cop with a serious look on his face emerged. Tyrus gazed across the scene. A group of people was wandering around in shock. Body parts were everwhere. Tyrus went back and grabbed the radio. "Uh, I think we got something bigger down here than someone tripping. I'm gonna need backup. And you might want to get a forensics team or something, 'cause we got..."
He looked back at the result's of Chris's revenge. A chunk of intestine slid off the side of the GAMePLACe roof and made wet splat. Cleatus threw up. "Uh, we got, well, organ mush."


Next time, on The Amazing Adventures of Christian West Chandler, Chris founds a city-state with his warped imagination, and attracts government attention.
Tune in next time for Birth of a Nation!

Yeah, so I have some ideas that I just want to get out and I don't really care if I'm talking to an empty wall here.
So, Chris founds CWCville in real life with his demonic power of imagination. This attracts the attention of General Mills (don't you fucking make a crack about how I'm the commander of the strategic coco-puffs reserve! That fucking joke wasn't fucking funny when you made it at my West Point Graduation and it isn't fucking funny now!), who has also been given reality bending powers, but by Brother Light. General Mills seeks out others who have been given powers, such as ManGuido and Liquidity (no points for guessing who they're ripping off), and forms The Regiment Of Legendary Legionaries, an organization dedicated to stopping Chris's reign of terror. They travel in a giant zeppelin shaped and colored like a pickle because why the fuck not.
Future plot line ideas include Chris trying to raise Pattie from the dead and starting a zombie apocalypse, trying to summon the Anti-Chris and other Sonichu "villains", which requires one of the original Sonichu books to act as a catalyst, which requires Liquidity to shapeshift into a female form and survive a date with Chris, and whatever the hell I feel like. Open to suggestions for stuff.

 

[A-Stump]

This is a good example of what not to do.

 

[Randall Fragg]

This is a good example of what not to do.

Shit, really? Any suggestions on how to fix it?

 

[A-Stump]

You're in a place where it's pretty easy to become an in-joke so I guess just consider how your peers would think of...uhh...whatever it is you've written. Nobody wants to be the next Peppy.

 

[Randall Fragg]

You're in a place where it's pretty easy to become an in-joke so I guess just consider how your peers would think of...uhh...whatever it is you've written. Nobody wants to be the next Peppy.

Shit, I just wanted to write something stupidly funny because it's fucking Sonichu. I think I tried to write it too seriously. You know what, screw it, I'm going to write this as over-the-top as possible, like if Sonichu was made as a 60s live action superhero show. Because that's what I really want this to be.
Also, kind of new, who's Peppy? I mean, I can infer that he did something stupid, me is no total moran. But what did he write?

 

[A-Stump]

Peppy is a guy who wanted to buy Bob's clothes, inquired if Barb scraped shit out of Chris's underwear, and was spooked hardcore by Ouija boards.

 

[Silver]

the fact that you can't write according to typical style conventions and apparently don't use spell check doesn't help your case

 

[BT 075]

We don't really need erotic fiction starring Chris, do we? For God's sake what if babby Dormie read this!

 

[EI 903]

Shit, really? Any suggestions on how to fix it?

Step One: Ask a moderator to be kind enough to delete this thread

Step Two: Never speak of this story again

Step Three: Next time you have an idea, thoroughly think it through. Write your thing, edit it, and send it to someone you like on the forums and ask them if it is any good. If they say yes, it's probably okay to post.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Alright, look. I want to apologize for posting this. I think I have a good core idea, but I really should have written it all down first before posting. I'm sorry for everyone who's time I wasted posting this shit. I'm sorry you read my shit. This is all shit. I'm going to forget about this shit and go back to the drawing board.

 

[Satoru182]

I read it, not that bad, don't understand what is the drama about. The first part with the CWC masturbation scene was disgusting, just like CWC is so in kind of fits there. The part with the super powers was not that bad, however I suggest you to proofread before posting. Your tale has a (very light) lovecraftian quality to it, maybe your should rework it in that way.

 

[OtterParty]

I thought this was quite an entertaining story, but you posted it in the wrong board again. Content like this should go here. In the future, if you have any creative thoughts, or any thoughts for that matter, consider directing all of them to that thread.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I read it, not that bad, don't understand what is the drama about. The first part with the CWC masturbation scene was disgusting, just like CWC is so in kind of fits there. The part with the super powers was not that bad, however I suggest you to proofread before posting. Your tale has a (very light) lovecraftian quality to it, maybe your should rework it in that way.

I was going to try to rework the idea and style it as a tv show screenplay, like Calvin and Hobbs The Series. Have all the dialog written as actors lines like,
CWC: "Sonichu! You're here! Yayyyy!"
SONICHU: *grins stupidly and looks at CWC* "Come on Chris, lets zap to the extreme!"
Like that. And also include a Sonichu Sez PSA at the end of each chapter, which provides lessons such as "reading anything other than Sonichu turns you homo" and "When you have superpowers, you're above the law kids!"
I don't really think the Lovecraftian angle really fits because it's Chris with superpowers. I really should have made it more like 60s live action batman. I'm giving up on this version of the "Chris gets superpowers" idea because it was my first attempt and it sucked. I'm going to try and retool it and instead of posting it immediately, edit it and send it to someone to proof-read first.