Lovequest The Apology Letters

[Thetan]

Chris wrote these letters very early in his relationship with Catherine (they were his idea). He wanted to be able to shop and his favorite stores and hang out at the Fashion Square Mall with Catherine and believed that by apologizing, he could get the bans that these establishments had placed on him lifted. (This doesn't completely explain the Mary Lee Walsh letter though.)

The censored portions are where I redacted the addresses of the intended letter recipients. I didn't bother blocking out Mary Lee Walsh's information, since that is already well documented.

 

[chiefshittingbull]

jesus there are more words than a typical sonichu panel

 

[AdmiralPingas]

Sounds to me like he wants to ensure that Catherine, and Crystal when she comes along, can attend PVCC (possibly as students? Can't think of why else they'd want to go there, unless there's a reunion on campus or something). Let not the sins of the father...

EDIT: on further reflection, he's probably just trying to get all his bans lifted, presumably for peace of mind if nothing else.

 

[Dang Dirty Troll]

Chris wrote these letters very early in his relationship with Catherine (they were his idea). He wanted to be able to shop and his favorite stores and hang out at the Fashion Square Mall with Catherine and believed that by apologizing, he could get the bans that these establishments had placed on him lifted. (This doesn't completely explain the Mary Lee Walsh letter though.)The censored portions are where I redacted the addresses of the intended letter recipients. I didn't bother blocking out Mary Lee Walsh's information, since that is already well documented.

I like how he had to throw intercourse talk into the first and third letters. Like anyone who may read it doesn't know the difference between being in love and making love.
And does he think Mary Lee Walsh even remembers, or cares, about what happened over a decade ago?

 

[garbageraider]

I really don't think that Chris has matured that much or improved his self control over the years. He keeps on getting in trouble and does the same stupid stuff again and again. I think that it's part that he's desperate to get back into the places that he's been banned from, and part that he realizes that apology letters are a good way to try to get off the hook/get out of trouble after he screws up.

I'm of the opinion that these letters are just an empty gesture, a formality, for the most part. Or it could be that Chris genuinely does feel sorry, but that emotion, and the lesson to be learned, "goes in one ear and out the other" so to speak, and next time he's about to do something stupid, he doesn't remember, and allows himself to act out.

Chris is like a child in many ways, but he's different in at least one important respect: most children learn from their mistakes. Chris doesn't seem to.

 

[Marvin]

Chris is trying to squash his beefs. And bury the hatchet. And wipe the slate clean.

I'm not really feeling like reading these walls of texts, but he seems to have done a good job on the fashion square mall one. None of his usual "I'm sorry you were such a meanie" apologies.

 

[Shadow]

Did he actually send these?

More importantly, did he get any response?

Oh, to be a fly on the wall as MLW opens her letter...

 

[Kosher Dill]

God, the part about "NOT to be confused with the act of intercourse" - repeated in multiple letters, no less - absolutely kills me XD
And I'm kind of surprised that Chris wants his descendants to be able to go to PVCC after all that

The Mary Lee Walsh letter really is contemptible though. "I'm sorry, but this IS all your fault you know."

EDIT: and the part about Fashion Square directing their jerkops to stay as far away as humanly possible... LOL. Trust me, I'm sure those poor mallcops would like nothing more.

 

[Bridechu]

Because I'm procrastinating like a mofo right now, I'm going to transcribe the letters for posterity. I'll include all the wonky Capitalization, of course.

Spoiler: Dear Scott

Dearest Scott, Sir or Madame,

It has been long over Two Years since I was banned from the Mall for loud, outbursting miscondut[sic]/misbehavior, instigated from being repeatedly telephoned by Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, and the stress from said bullies, Life, and Loneliness.

I most sincerely, deeply apologize for my behavior that was uncalled for then. I am truly, deeply sorry. And, as I have better matured emotionally, and mentally, I humbly request readmittance into the Charlottesville, VA Fashion Square Shopping Mall. Also, I am in an emotionally mutual true and honest relationship with a lovely woman; It is very serious, and we deeply Love (NOT to be confused with the act of intercourse) and care for each other with honesty and compassion. I do not wish to inhibit her in our Shopping together, by leaving his Ban unresolved positively.

If indeed Scott [redacted] (if my memory serves me) is reading this letter, Please Respond with your answer, in the name of True Love, in writing immediately, via paper Letter and United States Postal Service Mail.

Otherwise, if this is NOT Mr. Scott [redacted] but a new manager who replaced him in employment office, Please Respond immediately via paper Letter and United States Postal Service Mail, with the details of if the Ban is still under effect. If so, Please Unban me immediately in writing, and Respond immediately in the same paper Letter format. AND I would really most appreciate having in the SAME writing that I have your utmost assurance and reassurance that the hired Security Staff of Fashion Square will leave ME, Christian Weston Chandler, My Family, and My Love, alone, at peace, unbothered, unabused, UnEscorted, and remain at the greatest distance humanly reasonable and possible from us all at ALL times while any of us are Shopping, Walking, Hanging Out and Dining
Anywhere within the Mall itself, and its Parking Lot.

I personally Thank You Very Much, and I wish you a good and safe day.

And I Promise the misbehavior will never ever happen again.

Sincerely,

Christian Weston Chandler

Spoiler: Dearest Mary

Dearest Mary,

It has been Years since I have attempted to apologize for having portraied[sic] you as a witch character within the pages of my hand-drawn and written comicbooks. I assure you now that the name of the character HAS been changed and edited Years beforehand, and in nowhere, shape or forme[sic], have I, or anyone I know even remotely, made any sales of anything containing the character, Original or Present Name, whatsoever. My family and I are currently just getting by financially; any lower we would be positively poor.

I have personally arrived on campus to personally hand deliver a lovely, framed original master Apology Drawing, and a written (or typed, I am not certain) letter explaining the piece and situation. I left these items with your secretary. A few days later, I find a pink slip of Trespassing, improperly left within the crack of my house's front door. My mother and father appealed the notice on my behalf.

I remind you the circumstances leading up to the creation of the witch character was from your deers of misunder-standing. In 2003, after I had turned 21 years of age, I had realized that I was at a time of my life where I felt requirement of a woman partner to become my honet[sic] to goodness Sweetheart, Girlfriend, and Future Wife, FROM the ground-up with honest FRIENDSHIP. Paranoid As I Was, And Very Shy from my own Life's Curse of AUTISM, I was most unable to initiate Conversation, much Less a Greeting, to ANYONE! And I felt sincere requirement of a Sign, "18-##-Year Old Single Female to be a SWEETHEART from the ground-up." And from the popular, later fully understood, MISCONCEPTION of my Humble, Honest Sweetheart Search, to be of unpure, tainted Solicitation For Sexual Pleasures, which was Truly Never the Case, you had intruded on my Sweetheart Search and Destroyed my Sign. I have perceived this as a most Villanous[sic] Act against True Love, not unlike the villains of the "Sailor Moon" Anime. And therefore, I have perceived YOU to be a Witch Leader, making it obvious to me that True Love was apparently most ILLEGAL in the state of Virginia.

Therefore, had your actions never take[sic] place, I would have never drawn you as a Witch Character; You would have never been made quite the spectacle among the Internet Trolls and Cyber-Bullies, and most importantly, I would have been more in my own inner peace, as it was then; You would have had Less Stress on your own life, Free of the Trolls and Bullies that have bothered, tortured, blackmailed, deceived, and still haunting me since November 2007; and PVCC would have been a Lot Better Off unrenamed the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens.

All that aside, I once again write to you, apologizing most sincerely for ever having drawn you as a Witch. I am sincerely, truly, deepestly[sic] sorry for ruining both of our individual lives by drawing you as a witch.

I have more matured emotionally and mentally, and in regards of the Pink Slip Trespassing Notice and everything, I humbly request to be NOT Banned from Piedmont Virginia Community College, and to be forgiven in writing for my graphical misconduct. I wish to be able to have the liberty once again, to attend on-campus events, and to attend classes, and for my family, present and future, to be able to attend on-campus events and classes as well.

And, simply put, I[sic] really is Miserable to be BANNED FROM ANYWHERE, PERIOD.

I sincerely apologize if the contents of this letter has offended you in any matter; I simply wish to finally resolve this issue positively, and with little to no offense in any matter.

Please respond simple and put in US Mail paper Letter. I do not want to desire any difficulties or problems or dilemmas. Just a simple written answer will most suffice.

Thank You Very Much for your time, and have a good and safe day.

Sincerely,
Christian W. Chandler

Spoiler: Dear WalMart

Dearest [redacted],

It has been long over one year since the mishap that occured from my frustrated behavior from this loneliness, life stress and online bully stress. I write to you today to most sincerely apologize for my misbehavior and humbly request readmittance into the Wal-Mart establishments.

I have matured mentally for the better. The original action of defacing Microsoft's Console, followed much later after and in repsonse to having been Banned in BOTH of the Wal-Mart establishments closest to my home of residence, of informing the Internet Trolls about your action. Both of my actions were most undignified and uncalled for.

I have seen the wrongdoing of my action, and in return the upset these actions have done unto the business income of your owned/managed establishment.

I humby[sic] and most sincerely apologize from the bottom of my human heart and my soul. I am truly, very sorry. I promise none of that shall ever happen again.

And I humbly request written consent of unbanning me from Both the Wal-Marts in Ruckersville, VA and Charlottesville, VA. It is more distance and mostly for me to take my faily walks at the Target. And I am in an emotionally mutual true and honest relationship with a lovely woman; It is very serious, and we deeply Love (NOT to be confused with the act of intercourse) and Care for each other with honesty and compassion. I do not wish to inhibit her, in our Shopping Together, by leaving this BAN left unresolved positively.

Please Respond with your answer, in the name of True Love, in writing immediately, via paper Letter and United States Postal Service Mail.

Thank You Very Much, and Have a good, safe day.

Sincerely,
Christian Weston Chandler

Mmm, watcha say... Mmmm, that you only meant well? Well of course you did...

 

[Mollybdenum]

Things of note, in no particular order:

• "Humbly", I don't think he knows what that word means, but he does know it's one of those magical words, that seemingly gets people what they want when they're being repentant.
• "Oh em gee, we're going shopping because we're so girly!"-trips... to Wal-mart.
• He didn't try to apologize to Michael Snyder?
• When Chris' version of reason doesn't work, he goes right again to trying to elicit pity.
• So. Many. Adverbs.
• He wants to be left alone by mall security, even though to a certain reasonable extent, their job is to watch him.

 

[Shadow]

Or it could be that Chris genuinely does feel sorry

Nahhhhh. In MLW's case at least, he still blamed her completely misunderstanding his intention as the reason he was banned. Chris is just lazy, and can't let go of certain places and it drives him mad to be banned from them. He "apologised" to Snyder to try and get unbanned from the Gameplace, and then hit him with his car.

 

[Satoru182]

Tl;dr version:

"To MLW: im soowy I draw as a witch in my comic, but it was your fault for being mean to me and misunderstanding my luv quest. Sooowy let me in the campus again so I can loiter around with my sweetheart" (I hate when he talks about Sailor Moon!)

"To Manajerk: Am soowy let me in again plox. Write me back with the unban, use USPS you dipshit don't you dare to use China Post or Correos de Costa Rica, I apologies so you have to now, and let me a my hearsweet hang around the mall and keep the danm jercops at bay."

"To Manajane from Wallmart. Sorry for vandalizing let me in again, it wasn't my fault it was the trolls who where giving me shit, so you have to let me in againg with mi girlfriend that I love, but I don't meant sex you idiot is romantic love see."


He really cant get to any of those places any more? Or is he such a chicken shit that just wont dare to return there? Those bans are enforced by law or something?

 

[Kosher Dill]

He didn't try to apologize to Michael Snyder?

Of course not, Snyder can't unban him from anything so he's not sorry.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

If Chris really sent that letter to "dearest Mary", I think the cops would have pulled up to his house with another pink slip. Is a creepy letter considered tresspassing?

 

[Enjoy your spaghetti]

With apologies like that, how could he possibly still be banned?

JUSTICE FOR CHRIS CHAN!

 

[Ruckersvillian]

The Fashion Square Mall letter is fairly well - and sincerely - written, but with the Mary Lee Walsh one, its like Chris gets sidetracked in telling his side of the story instead of apologizing.

Not sure what the point of being unbanned from PVCC would be. If he's not a student, there'd probably not be any real reason for him to be there anyway.

 

[Haesindang Park]

The letters for the mall and to Wal-Mart are hilarious but the one to PVCC is just plain sad. Pink slip on door for trespassing? At first, I was thinking about 14 BLC since the home is not ready to move in yet but he probably meant he tried to trespass PVCC during his ban there and local authorities found out and stuck the slip on 14 BLC at the time it happened. This has been like what, seven years since he graduated from PVCC? This is tragic because he can't mentally move on and obviously, he hasn't changed much. I'm still erring to the side that Chris is spiraling downwards with depression and 2015 will be the year of the depression saga which as always, will take a toll on his health. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly loses interest in Lego once his depression gets to the point that literally nothing in his life will make him happy.

 

[Thetan]

I really don't think that Chris has matured that much or improved his self control over the years. He keeps on getting in trouble and does the same stupid stuff again and again. I think that it's part that he's desperate to get back into the places that he's been banned from, and part that he realizes that apology letters are a good way to try to get off the hook/get out of trouble after he screws up.

I'm of the opinion that these letters are just an empty gesture, a formality, for the most part. Or it could be that Chris genuinely does feel sorry, but that emotion, and the lesson to be learned, "goes in one ear and out the other" so to speak, and next time he's about to do something stupid, he doesn't remember, and allows himself to act out.

Chris is like a child in many ways, but he's different in at least one important respect: most children learn from their mistakes. Chris doesn't seem to.

You're right, he learned absolutely nothing. Just about 3 months after writing these letters, he was banned from Target.

 

[Dang Dirty Troll]

Nahhhhh. In MLW's case at least, he still blamed her completely misunderstanding his intention as the reason he was banned. Chris is just lazy, and can't let go of certain places and it drives him mad to be banned from them. He "apologised" to Snyder to try and get unbanned from the Gameplace, and then hit him with his car.

You've never hit anyone with your car to let them know you're sorry for your past actions?

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Did anybody else catch the daily walks around target part in the Walmart letter?

They must just fucking love him over there.

\\\
Edit\\\

Oops we all posted about target at the same time.