The Bad Fanfiction Hall Of Fame - Otherwise known as Make Dr. W Read Awful Fanfiction

[Antipathy]

Welcome to the Bad Fanfiction Hall Of Fame. The rules are very, very simple, so allow me to explain.

The Bad Fanfiction Hall Of Fame (BFHOF) is a game, and the goal is simple: find the objectively worst fanfiction you can, of any thing, in any medium, and post a link to it here. I (or every sucker in this thread) will read it through in full and then rate it, and hopefully we can find funny lines or potential lolcows in this manner. Ratings are ranked one to ten, one being generic and boring, and ten being the spergiest thing you've ever even seen. If you could provide a summary, that would be excellent as well, but it is not required.

Sonichu is off limits, we all already know of it.

Let us start strong. Probably the big dawg: My Immortal by Ebony "Enoby" Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

I remember reading through that and giving it about a six. I was unfortunately unable to guess whether it was a joke or not.

There was this one Super Smash Brothers fanfic I read called The Smashing Bumpkins.
It's https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10473327/1/The-Smashing-Bumpkins here.

Beware, it's a long and insane read. I rate it a nine.

 

[Admiral Mantoid]

https://www.fanfiction.net/Harry-Potter-and-Naruto-Crossovers/224/1402/?&srt=1&_g1=2&lan=1&r=10

Everything in this category.

 

[Antipathy]

https://www.fanfiction.net/Harry-Potter-and-Naruto-Crossovers/224/1402/?&srt=1&_g1=2&lan=1&r=10

Everything in this category.

I mostly look over Nintendo stuff for some reason.

Anyway, I'll try to find another bad fic like the one I posted. Closest thing I can also remember is "https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9723702/1/The-Project-and-the-Plumber", a Paper Mario fanfic that categorizes women by breast size and features the most obvious wish fulfillment I've ever seen.

 

[Admiral Mantoid]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010187/1/Just-Another-Day

[AU] Sakura transfers to a new school where she begins her sophomore year, but she is pulled into a series of spiraling events that are sure to get her kicked out. Diarrhea on the first day, pornography loving teachers, and her slight obsession with yaoi. Just another day for Sakura Haruno. : MultiSaku

Nothing like a hot steaming plate of diarrhea to start off the day.

 

[Antipathy]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11010187/1/Just-Another-Day

Nothing like a hot steaming plate of diarrhea to start off the day.

I should start reading yours, but the anime name reminded me of Shinji's Nightmare Cataclysm, a fic I found on the now defunct Project After forums.

https://pastebin.com/MewmwCeC
It's some anime crossed over very vaguely with 40k, misunderstanding the Warp and Slaanesh.

 

[Muttnik]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5813493/1/Torn-in-Two

A pal of mine and I were bored one day and decided to look up atrocious Sonic fanfiction for shits and giggles. This one topped our list. It's horrid from start to finish but it's impossible to look away. Like a car crash.

Features include:
-Knuckles as an alcoholic abuser
-Anorexic Sonic
-Shitty song lyrics
-LOL SO RANDUM humor
-Pointless subplots that go nowhere
-Furry yaoi that makes me want to gouge my eyes out
-Lots of weirdly sexual shit with children
-One offhand comment about a character dating their brother that no one acknowledges
-Borderline feeder shit

 

[Antipathy]

Well this thread is taking off. I've got two new badfics to read, and that's not even counting my current trawling.

See you on the other side, Kiwis.

 

[Admiral Mantoid]

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5813493/1/Torn-in-Two

A pal of mine and I were bored one day and decided to look up atrocious Sonic fanfiction for shits and giggles. This one topped our list. It's horrid from start to finish but it's impossible to look away. Like a car crash.

Features include:
-Knuckles as an alcoholic abuser
-Anorexic Sonic
-Shitty song lyrics
-LOL SO RANDUM humor
-Pointless subplots that go nowhere
-Furry yaoi that makes me want to gouge my eyes out
-Lots of weirdly sexual shit with children
-One offhand comment about a character dating their brother that no one acknowledges
-Borderline feeder shit

Sounds more like the painfully retarded Sonic Archie comics, or the even worse "Sonic the Comic" from britbongland.

 

[Gordon Cole]

In case you ever thought to yourself "What if Michelle from Full House went blind in a car accident?"

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2039640/1/When-Blindness-Strikes

 

[Antipathy]

I finished Just Another Day, and it was generic, dull, and boring, but I think it's because I don't really understand Naruto at all.

I'd give it a three. It was painful, but that was because it was bloated and mundane.

The pseudo almost rape nearly tripped it to a five, but sadly it wasn't up to par.

Onto Torn in Two.

Edit: Damn you, Alto. 114k words?! This is going to be fun.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

Ok my dudes, I deleted my first comment cuz I wanted to make an actual "analysis" of the masterpiece.

I sed stup flaming ok ebony’s name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

My Immortal is a piece of Internet history regarded as the worst fanfiction ever written, being probably the debut of Tara Gilesbie as a writer and most likely also her final attempt at doing so. The story starts this way:

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). [[I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

I hope you enjoy these naming scheme because it makes the usual Potterhead seem balanced.


Ebony is a vampire attending Hogwarts for some reason (besides the fact that it can be assumed she is not british) and cronicalling her outfits selections as a slutty goth underage girl. This segment always takes place at the very beginning and consist always of stereotypical white foundation, black eyeliner and borderline daddy issues fashion choices associated with her kind. All described characters have an almost identical description besides the color of the hair streaks.

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

Through the series Ebony shows off her love for emo-punk rock bands such as My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Simple Plan, Marilyn Manson, Good Charlotte and if not obvious for the name already, Evanescence. Specially fangirling for Joel Madden, whom for some reason decided to give a concert in Hogsmeade.
Must be also noted that our Mary Sue is somewhat of a musician herself and leads a band with her beanie bf Draco Malfoy, whom is also an emo and bisexual for Harry Potter, here named Vampire, other member of the band and obligatory love triangle pretendent.

“Oh Draco, Draco!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Vampire!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

Besides this generic bullshit, what lies beyond that is even more generic. If you read one, you have read them all. At best there are some really interesting selections taken from the first eleven chapters I bothered to reread.

We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn’t have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco’s and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. “I hath telekinesis.” he answered cruelly.

I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a steak) and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don’t kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!” I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

OH THE EDGE

Out of all the memorable quotes this trainwreck managed to make my favorite has to be in Chapter 4 with the introduction of the beloved Albus "Now Gay 4 U" Dumbledore, after he surprises our main edgy couple having sex in the Forbidden Forest.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

And the author excused this on Dumbledore having a "hedache".

 

[Antipathy]

Ok my dudes, I deleted my first comment cuz I wanted to make an actual "analysis" of the masterpiece.



My Immortal is a piece of Internet history regarded as the worst fanfiction ever written, being probably the debut of Tara Gilesbie as a writer and most likely also her final attempt at doing so. The story starts this way:


I hope you enjoy these naming scheme because it makes the usual Potterhead seem balanced.


Ebony is a vampire attending Hogwarts for some reason (besides the fact that it can be assumed she is not british) and cronicalling her outfits selections as a slutty goth underage girl. This segment always takes place at the very beginning and consist always of stereotypical white foundation, black eyeliner and borderline daddy issues fashion choices associated with her kind. All described characters have an almost identical description besides the color of the hair streaks.



Through the series Ebony shows off her love for emo-punk rock bands such as My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Simple Plan, Marilyn Manson, Good Charlotte and if not obvious for the name already, Evanescence. Specially fangirling for Joel Madden, whom for some reason decided to give a concert in Hogsmeade.
Must be also noted that our Mary Sue is somewhat of a musician herself and leads a band with her beanie bf Draco Malfoy, whom is also an emo and bisexual for Harry Potter, here named Vampire, other member of the band and obligatory love triangle pretendent.


Besides this generic bullshit, what lies beyond that is even more generic. If you read one, you have read them all. At best there are some really interesting selections taken from the first eleven chapters I bothered to reread.














OH THE EDGE

Out of all the memorable quotes this trainwreck managed to make my favorite has to be in Chapter 4 with the introduction of the beloved Albus "Now Gay 4 U" Dumbledore, after he surprises our main edgy couple having sex in the Forbidden Forest.

And the author excused this on Dumbledore having a "hedache".

Yes, and we're all almost certainly aware of My Immortal, probably before entering this thread. It's possibly a troll, possibly not, and one of the most well known ones. I want to share some obscure works here.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5386092/1/Burston-s-Sorrow

Max Goof copes with his father's suicide by becoming a Pokemon champion.

 

[Beth]

I nominate...

...And My Inner Life.

 

[Antipathy]

I nominate...

...And My Inner Life.

Less famous ones, please.

 

[Beth]

Less famous ones, please.

Well if that is the case anything by yurisgurl.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3403731/1/Catapult-Melons-Into-Nose-For-The-Best-Balls

This one in particular.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Can we write bad parody fanfiction and submit it to this thread?

Although I must admit that it'd be hard to do ironically what a lot of these authors are doing sincerely.

 

[Fareal]

Is RPS off limits? Because oh there are diamonds in those mines.

 

[SadClownMan]

There's this where someone took sonic the hedge hog and crossed it with resident evil: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9614566/1/Sonic-Evil-1
And the ever so infamous Garfield x Mass effect crossover: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5824573/1/Garfield-Effect-Galaxy-Adventure

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

Is anyone else familiar with the Harry Potter fanfic of the giant squid having sex with Hogwarts? (Not IN Hogwarts, WITH Hogwarts.) I think that one permanently scarred me, but I'm not finding it anywhere. We're truly in dark times if that one got purged.