The Bent Duck -

[JULAY]

OK, we have all speculated on why Chris's duck is bent, how it became bent, and how funny it is that even his penis is autistic. But this thread asks a different question: How would the bent duck perform at intercourse? Has anyone here ever been penetrated by a bent / curved penis? I'm a straight guy (with a straight penis), so I lack any personal knowledge of how a crooked dick works (or fails to work). But surely someone here, either a straight woman or a gay man, has been with someone whose junk was slightly askew... If so, please, enlighten us!

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

You forgot bi women. Just sayin'.

I used to go out with a guy who was ridiculously overendowed. Cervix whacking was actually a problem. The last two inches or so of his zucchini (if a normal one is a pickle, right...) were bent slightly to his right -- not so much that he had any trouble using a urinal, I'm sure, just a few degrees. This was actually useful -- if you've ever seen pictures of vibrators that are very slightly curved at the tip in this way, they can help with finding a g-spot or prostate.

People who cling to stereotypes will be surprised to learn that Zucchini Man is white -- he grew up in Scotland during his formative years and then the family came to the US, so he's kind of like John Barrowman in that his accent is uninflected American but he'll still come out with usages like "ring up," the "boot" and "bonnet" of a car, etc. Alas, Zucchini Man got away -- I live in the eastern US and he now lives in Portland, Oregon, making boatloads of money massaging hipsters. (I can't blame anyone for moving to be closer to their kids, but I miss hanging out with him. And the zucchini.)

 

[Hyperion]

My friend told me she was trying to blow a guy, but his duck was too bent for even that. I showed her the CWCki which is why her experience with bent penises came up.

 

[DevilDog]

It's Pyronies. A disease affecting about 10% of all men. It's plaque, poor circulation and inflammation. Some guys get better over time. Chris probably won't given his health, which makes most healing of such disorders difficult.

 

[LM 697]

Limit discussion of body parts and functions. Chris is gross. Discussing his incontinence in detail is unnecessary and disturbing.