The "Best" Of Steam Greenlight - $100 for GOTY -

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José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Steam-Greenlight.jpg
http://steamcommunity.com/greenlight/faq/

Steam Greenlight is a system that enlists the community's help in picking some of the new games to be released on Steam. Developers post information, screenshots, and video for their game and seek a critical mass of community support in order to get selected for distribution. Steam Greenlight also helps developers get feedback from potential customers and start creating an active community around their game during the development process.

To put in a positive look, Steam Greenlight is a very good system for game developers to release their games for a fee of $100. Some of these games have reached to the point of winning awards (Papers, Please is an example) and I do have to admit that I have owned some games which are greenlit and I enjoyed them.

But on the negative side, it reveals how the system is terribly flawed, and also brings discussions about how the quality on Steam has declined because of it. It's so bad that as far as I remembered, Gabe Newell wanted it to go away.

So here you go. Go to this link and post any cringey games being submitted, especially those which are greenlit. Please remember that the fee for submission for a game to be on Steam Greenlight is $100.

http://steamcommunity.com/greenlight/

Here are some examples:

1. Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=197667538
Not kidding, this notorious game got greenlit and mentioned a lot on several random threads on this forum. With the quality of the art style ranging from mediocre to terrible, this description will probably say a lot about it:

Gender BenderDNA Twister Extreme is a fun and silly game aboutsome guys turning into girls,some girls turning into guys, and some of them transforming into other fun things all in the name of SCIENCE!

Fun fact: Also includes scientists turning into furries if not changing into girls. Also includes lots of fetishes.

2. Air Control
http://store.steampowered.com/app/295810
Ah.. yes. I keep on mentioning this game as well. It's being advertised as the "best flight simulation in the history of computer games today" but the game is terribly horrible. The game is terribly unfinished, horrible gameplay (even to the point of having a fucking Flappy Bird clone there for no reason). It's so bad that Gamespot gave the game a 1.0 rating, with the likes of Big Rigs and Ride to Hell: Retribution.

Also, in a Earth 2066 style, the developer of the game has responded to negative reviews with "your computer is not functioning properly" or other terrible one-liner crap.

http://steamcommunity.com//id/0Bennyman/recommended/295810/#developer_response

At first, this review was made on weak computer.
Secondly I want to say you guys that this guy who recorded review did not read about game controls and that is why airplane fell down in the end.

This review was written by developer to clarify some moments.
 
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Cute Anime Girl

Anime Warrior
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Played a run through of Gender Bender for shits and giggles.

Never want to even see that bucket of shit again.
 
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Dee

Kawaii Garbage
kiwifarms.net
Played a run through of Gender Bender for shits and giggles.

Never want to even see that bucket of shit again.
I saw a lot of the screen shots you posted in chat, and I agree, this game is absolute miserable garbage.
I like this one a lot http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=279280628&searchtext=
"«Stone: The Game» is the multigenre game that tells the story about life of the Stone, named... Oh, wait, it doesn't really matter what his name is. "
 

spaps

I'LL FUCK YOU OFF AT NO COST
kiwifarms.net

Cute Anime Girl

Anime Warrior
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
WHAT THE FUCK

THERE'S TWO FUCKING ROCK SIMULATORS

FUCKING BITCH ASS SHIT DICK FUCK


Let's not forget the million Surgeon Simulator copies.

Greenlight was a good idea but it's seriously getting abused and just not used to it's full potential, no wonder Valve wants it gone.
 

Xarpho

Real talk: I miss comfy local news broadcasts
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Played a run through of Gender Bender for shits and giggles.

Never want to even see that bucket of shit again.
That was the one where the eyes were coming out of the hair! Wow, it's like a terrible fetish webcomic as a computer game.
 

spaps

I'LL FUCK YOU OFF AT NO COST
kiwifarms.net
Air Contol

Valve really needs to off Greenlight, or at least change the system. There are some legitimately good games on Steam that came from Greenlight, but they're all being overshadowed by shit like Garry's Incident, Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme, Rock Simulator, Castleminer Z and so many others.
 

spaps

I'LL FUCK YOU OFF AT NO COST
kiwifarms.net
Anyone remember Dead Trigger? It was an okay zombie FPS for IOS. Back in 2012, they promised a PC port on Greenlight, and said that it would be released as soon as it was greenlit. It was greenlit back in September 2013, and the sequel was released for IOS before the first one got a PC port. It's been almost a year, and they haven't even mentioned anything about the PC port. Incredible.
 

Watcher

Cishet dudebro
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Greenlight was created as a response to Valve being selective about what games they put on their service. I remember indies, unless they were uber popular enough to be considered, were shunned in favor of publisher based games that could rake more money.

Greenlight was meant to change that but it more or less brought a ton of crap.

I mean is the system imperfect? Sure. But there are very few alternatives beyond going back to the old system that had independent game makers jump through ridiculous amounts of hoops to get their games on the most popular digital distributor in the world.
 

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=278816302
FREE 2 PLAY.

After falling asleep, one developer must now flee from the criticism of the internet in his never ending nauseating nightmare, will he escape? Will he find the magic turtle to cure his limp leg? It's up to you!

Upcoming/features:

-Randomly generated terrain
-Tons of achievements
-Ability to put your own quotes into the game (Coming soon)
-Completely free
-Randomly generated quotes (Coming soon)
Remember, $100 for this shit.
 

Takayuki Yagami

Justice is Blind, and Autistic
kiwifarms.net
Valve needs to deal with more than Greenlight. When a bunch of old, shitty point-and-clicks from when I was like 8 are crowding everything off the front page; Steam is having serious problems.
 

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Hey, do you know what Steam needs? Surgeon Simulator ripoffs!

1. Baking Simulator
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=271706715

Surgeon Simulator... with baking a cake.

2. Ampu-Tea
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=151961877
Store page: http://store.steampowered.com/app/289090/
It’s time for rehabilitation! You’re a recovering amputee, fitted with the latest modern technology. The KS-001 Robo-arm is capable of delicate tasks – if used efficiently.

What better challenge for the son of an Earl than to make tea for his father?

Good luck son.

You'll need it.
Basically, the whole game is Surgeon Simulator like the above one, but you can only move one robotic hand and all you do is serve tea. Get it?

Fun fact: The link to the store page leads to Rover Rescue.
 

Coster

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Gender Bender DNA Twister Extreme

It will never stop infuriating me that this bullshit got greenlit. Greenlight is a great system, but in many cases it has shown that the system has failed us. Fucking DeviantArt-level animu scribbles combined with the stupidest plot/lack thereof I've ever seen. And the only reason it was greenlit was because of the LGBT side of Tumblr caught wind of it and decided that transgenders should be represented on Steam/in games in what is the worst way possible.

I recall when Greenlight started up there were a bunch of fake submissions, one of which being "Wawda Melone Intercourse Simulator 2013" or something like that, with the preview picture being a naked black guy holding a watermelon in front of his crotch. I would sincerely prefer playing that over this visual garbage.

Hell, I'd much rather spend like $10 on a hammer so I could go around and break shit with it than buy Gender Bender DNA Disproportionate Animu Fetish Extreme. Not only would it be infinitely more entertaining, but I'd actually get my money's worth.
 

spaps

I'LL FUCK YOU OFF AT NO COST
kiwifarms.net
I tried to look at Greenlight again. Terrible as usual. It's like the proverbial train wreck, absolutely horrifying, but you just can't look away.

So what horrors have I witnessed today?

Nyan Cat: Lost in Space
Hey, remember that one game based on that funny maymay that hasn't been funny or relevant since 2012? Well let's put it on Steam!

Smoking Simulator
Another awful joke simulator made to be shitty so that LPers will give them free advertising. Remember when games, good or bad, actually had effort put into them and weren't just ironically bad cash-grabs?

Can You Survive?
Game Maker game with MS Paint graphics and terrible-looking gameplay. No wait, he's taking it down. False alarm.

Pony World 3
MMO that blatantly tries to cash in on MLP by using bronies who can't get a real MLP MMO. Though no bronies are actually going to buy this, because it's not actually MLP. What were they thinking?

Greyfox
Okay, so this one isn't as bad as the others, but it's still a generic RPG Maker VX Ace game that still uses the default art style and assets. Pathetic.
 

José Mourinho

The Special One
Global Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
1. Grass Simulator 2014
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=276683987
For fuck's sake. It's just exploring an area filled with grass. That's it.

2. Super 3D Noah's Ark Fuck Farts
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=287164593
This is not a joke. An unlicensed SNES game is gonna make its way to Steam.

3. Flappy Potato Salad
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=283634512
637x358.resizedimage
Only this image is shown. Need I post more?

4. ASTRALFOREVER YOUR DREAMS FOREVER
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=233371322
The best submission ever on Greenlight. No contest.
 

A-Stump

Dr Robotdick
kiwifarms.net
You knuckleheads and dang dirty trolls wanna know something funny?

The 'developers' of Gender Bender Return of the Unnecessarily Long Name are asking 25 dollars for their product. Yes, the slide show of public domain music, terrible writing which isn't even grammatically correct or spelled properly, and animu drawings which weren't even produced with anatomy, knowledge of layering, or any form of creative design

Twenty five dollars.

Twenty five dollars.

Twenty five dollars
 
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