• ”I draw the line at encouraging people to act more like the insane doxxing website full of complete fucking nutjobs who have made it their job to obsess about the personal lives of other people.”

The Bestiary of AutismA guide to all forms of autism you may encounter

Discussion in 'Lolcow General' started by GethN7, Jan 12, 2018.

  1. In the spirit of @Jaimas' own Bestiary of SJWs (who I am collaborating on this with), I am attempting to do a compendium of the various types of autismal behavior displayed by the various eccentrics that can be found having threads on the Kiwi Farms.

    Yes, I know, autism is autism, but it has many different types of display via the various eccentrics that are covered here, and this compendium will serve to identify them.

    Keep in mind the author of this is autistic himself, and since there are many who don't understand just how the autistic come to many of their decisions nor understand the underlying cognitive processes that define who their various autistic types come to their decision making and conduct, this is meant to give clarity and understanding, especially for the more neurotypical who find it hard to comprehend autistic logic.

    Also, these are guidelines, not hard and fast rules, and more than one sub-type of autism as categorized below may be displayed by any autistic or anyone who acts in a similar manner.

    If you have any advice on what I've missed, or good examples of these differing types of autist, I could use the help.

    1. The Fan Autist

    Prime Example: Chris-chan
    Prime Habitat: Forums, wikis, anywhere a fandom can and will congregate.

    This one is a classic. This autist is a fan of one or more form of media or some other subject for which there is a fandom, and they will take it super seriously and get offended if they are mocked for being an uber fan of whatever these things might be.

    The common denominator for these types of autist tend to be the following:

    A. Being fans of the past: Autistics often hate change, and their fandom obsession will generally focus around a specific "snapshot" of whatever they like and they will freak out if any change is made to it, whether by other fans or by the original creators of the fandom, unless they find they like the change because it appeals to their own ideas how the fandom could "improve".

    B. This is their "hugbox": Autistics tend to have their happiness reinforced by doing things they know give them joy, and indulging a fan obsession is a common "hugbox" for them.

    2. The "Respect Mah Authoritah!" Autist

    Prime Example: Gabe "Moleman9000/ResonX" Navarro
    Prime Habitat: Wikis and Forums, anywhere where they can seize power, preferably in control of these places

    This autist is obsessed with thinking they have power over people, especially their detractors, and despite being laughed at and humiliated at every turn, they will continue to believe they are in the right.

    Common factors for these tend to be as follows:

    A. Entitlement. These tend to be the type whose autism was pampered and coddled instead of molded and shaped so they could be a reasonably functional human being by bad parenting, and as such they developed a massive entitlement complex where they associate being coddled as a normal condition, and when normal people are obviously not going to bow to their every whim, they give orders as if they expect their force of will to command immediate obedience because, as far as they are concerned, that's how things should be.

    B. Obsession with control. Another defining trait of this form of autist is taking the usual autistic inability to handle change they find uncomfortable and marrying it to the first motive of entitlement, resulting in a paranoid conviction that they must have all aspects of their life they do not like under absolute control. This is commonly seen in those who feel they are under assault in some fashion and their sense of propriety is so irrationally honed they will try to force whatever makes them uncomfortable out of existence by demanding the world bend to their will.

    3. The Raging Autist

    Prime Example: Nate Spidgewood
    Prime Habitat: Anywhere where they can spew their venom.

    The raging autist is an autistic who is primarily driven by intense emotion, rage being the most common. While coming off like they are on a constant tantrum, there are many underlying reasons for this seemingly ongoing fit of lashing out common to most of their actions.

    A. Inability to control emotions: A common flaw of the autistic is lack of ability to exert nuanced control over their emotions, due to stunted ability to pick up on the cues of the emotional state of others nor detect inappropriate behaviors exhibited by themselves. While understandable on its own, if left untreated by bad parenting, lack of psychiatric oversight, or some combination of the two, this type of person can devolve into reacting to everything they do not like in a constant state of rage, as, on some primal level, it makes them feel better to discharge excess emotion they cannot comprehend how to handle in a more structured, socially acceptable manner.

    B. Fear. These types of autistics are scared of what they cannot control or understand and lash out because of their emotional inability to deal with their fear and ignorance, and since most autistics with the first point lack most emotional controls that "normal" people learn and/or exhibit, these unfortunate souls tend to see whatever they do not like as a personal affront no matter the scope of the problem and will react with incandescent anger in all cases, their fear being so pronounced it literally does not occur to them to consider whatever their fear is and try to find a way to conquer it in a more benign, reasonable manner.

    4. The Conspiracy Theorist Autist

    Prime Example: Autphag
    Prime Habitat: Blogs, forums, anywhere where they can spew their theories.

    The Conspiracy Theory autist is one who does not look at the world around them without trying to find some explanation for what they do not understand. While this is something anyone with intelligence and curiosity will do, they tend to draw bizarre conclusions that only make sense according to their myopic, distorted view of the world, then proceed to filter every subsequent thing they encounter through this predetermined lens.

    As a result, everything in life is generally interpreted in a fashion only they comprehend, no matter how illogical or bizarre it appears to other.

    Prime reasons for this include:

    A. Stunted social interaction. The autistic often find ordinary social interaction too difficult and often tries to find ways to explain what they cannot deal with adequately in a manner that makes sense to their confused and often simplified emotional state. Like young children, these types have a black and white view of the world, and since they lack or have difficulty understanding the world is complex and so are it's residents, they will try to find some simplistic motivation to compute whatever they cannot handle, even if to normal people the conclusions they reach are utterly wrong.

    B. Myopic intellectual worldview: Autistics tend to have intellectual gifts that are intensely narrow in some regards and very shallow in others. As a result, any gifts they have in perceiving the world are limited to what they can hyper-focus their cognitive ability on, and whatever else is not considered or even noticed because they limit themselves to what they believe they have perceived to be the state of their reality.

    5. The Utterly Deranged Autist

    Prime example: Terry Davis (creator of TempleOS)

    This autistic is a rather unfortunate case that is often a mix of the third and fourth types. They both have bizarre conclusions regarding the world around them and come to emotionally charged decisions as a result.

    As a result, these types come off as utterly unhinged, lacking anything resembling what others consider sanity.

    A common trait that explains this is often a tragic one, that being other underlying mental health problems like schizophrenia, paranoid-delusions, or other some other underlying neurological disorder that accompanies their autism.

    Extremely poor inability or utter lack of learning how to deal with their autistic impulses can lead to an otherwise reasonably functional and trainable autistic person to devolve into this from a young age if they recieve little or no help regarding any of their other autistic impulses.

    IMPORTANT NOTE: This particular kind of autistic does not have to be and by no means is required to be stupid. Extremely unstructured in their approach to most normal topics and unhinged in most regards, yes, but as seen with the prime example, quite brilliant and structured in some narrow fields of human endeavor, but these types are so socially crippled consistent relatively normal interaction is off the table for them.

    6. The Political Autist

    Prime examples: Shia Lebouf (left wing example), Micheal "Mikemikev" Coombs (right wing example)

    This autistic personality has shades of the conspiracy theorist, but tends to have a geometrically precise model of the world shaped by a political ideology, usually one of extreme left or right tendency, and will filter the world through this model and allow all their conduct to be driven by it with little to no variation.

    While markedly more rational than the straight up conspiracy theorist, said reason is limited to their political worldview and how it colors their intellectual and emotional perceptions.

    Common traits include:

    A. A desire for understanding: Political thought tends to be hyper-focused on explaining not only the sociology of human thought and interaction as societies, it also has become commonly extended to explain human beings and their place in the world for many, and autistics take this to an extreme. While the more neurotypical understand politics is generally theory and subject to change and revision, the lack of nuance comprehension most autistics display lead them to rigidly see the world through one generally static political viewpoint, and anything that doesn't fit means the world is wrong, not that their political views are either wrong or did not anticipate all spheres of human thinking.

    B. Emotional satisfaction: Politics is often cynically used by ideologues of all shades as a means of appealing to base needs and mores of the people they are meant to appeal to, and for the autistic person, this is particularly true. For example, Nazism appeals to a belief in the innate superiority of some people over others, while Communism appeals to the communal desire for all to share a common bond in terms of needs, and depending on whether an autistic person wants to compensate for a feeling of inferiority or desperately desires societal belonging, they wlll invariably be drawn in a fanatical way to whatever fulfills these emotional drives.

    7. The Anti-political Autist

    This autist would appear at first glance to be a distaff counterpart to the political autist, but there are key differences, as they usually tend towards an anarchist style mindset, defying all rules, laws, and any authority they deem antagonistic, even to irrational extremes and often for utterly childish reasons.

    A key facet of this type of autism is a belief on the level of religious faith that organized political thought is useless and/or ignorant, therefore they are wiser for rejecting all of it. Ironically, they will often show quite a degree of structured if inconsistent thought while trying to prove this particular point.

    Common traits include:

    A. Hatred of having limits: Autist people are stunted when it comes to learning social norms, and while many can adjust to the limits of society where eating crayons or mumbling to oneself constantly is considered bizarre and abnormal and can mostly rein in these habits, this particular autist sees an attack on their habits as a personal attack on them, and thus will angrily resent any authority figure who tells them to stop.

    B. Constructing elaborate rationales for the hatred of authority: The political and anti-political autist have in common an attempt to explain to themselves where authority and political ideologies are the enemy, oftentimes explaining them away to themselves in a manner than runs counter to established fact or even remains consistent even inside it's own internal logic, but so long as the autist feels it explains the authority or ideology they so despise, they will accept this as fact and vehemently deny any and all attempts to persuade them otherwise, as they find their own explanations emotionally satisfactory.

    8. The Autism-As-Identity Autist

    Prime Example: Creigh Farinas (https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/pushing-autism-cure-messed-up/) (http://archive.is/utTYS)

    This autistic is what happens when they become aware of their autism, and instead just using it for mere pity (though this is a major factor for some), their autism centers around jerking off the symptoms and stigmas of autism for their own aggrandizement, and they will often conflate how it is either a benefit or a curse upon them, whichever aspect they feel is more appropriate to dwell on at length and whatever will best serve their needs to obsess over.

    These types tend be one of two different spergs about it:

    A. The Woe is Me type: This person is basically obsessed with autism for pity, often jerking off and exaggerating any real downsides to their autism and using it to excuse every flaw while turning it into the world's biggest crutch for their failures and foibles. Any real problems are essentially buried under their own distorted version of how they perceive them.

    B. The I'm Super Special type: This one basically revels in the autism, pointing to it's few known virtues like hyper-attention to niche topics as making them superior to others and often citing how their condition makes them like other famous people with autism, and they will disparage anyone who is not autistic or looks down on the autistic and less than human or at least as mortal enemies.

    Both types can overlap, and both tend to revile anything that would diminish their significance of their autism in their lives, especially any science or study that would give the lie to any of their claims.

    9. The Troon

    Prime Examples: Greta Martela/Kjel Anderson and Nina/Niraj Chaubal

    This is a special kind of autistic, as the term is derived from Something Awful's forums, which used the term as a portmanteau of "transsexual" and "goon", but is used in this context as the slur it has become to describe someone who acts like the worst stereotype of both groups, though the contemporary usage of the term is not confined to those from that forum, though many have originated from there.

    A troon, in the context relevant to autistics, is someone who generally is autistic and believes changing their gender will magically fix their problems instead of getting any sort of mental health treatment for other issues, and in some cases, their mental health is so degraded they latch onto the idea of a sex change as a panacea for any of their problems in life.

    On a more cynical note, the other is generally a male (though females are uncommon but not out of possibility) who is basically an autogynephile, obsessed with sex and feels themselves either a failure at their own gender or devoid of any benefits of their gender and thinks becoming a girl, "nonbinary", or whatever gender term Tumblr has invented will make them more desirable, drowning in sexual favors, and so on.

    Both motives can and often do co-exist, and both exhibit signs of the following:

    A: Peer pressure by other troons

    Autistics are socially stunted, many are acutely aware of this, and other troons tend to feel emotional pleasure from convincing others to sex change despite lack of trained psychological and medical personnel who are equipped to make sure that someone is physically and mentally prepared for a sex change or actually has any form of legitimately recognized gender dysphoria.

    As the ones who have rejected their own autism and other mental health concerns as non-factors or nonexistent and feel their attempts to change sex have proven a solution to their life problems, they, much like a cult, will attempt to convince others, autistics being rather vulnerable due to their stunted social knowledge and insight, to join them in this rather destructive path that is very devoid of licensed medicine and oversight (often relying on third party solutions like doctor shopping and unlicensed hormones). If anyone seduced into this later feel regrets, they are treated as a traitor, and thus other troons will enforce a feeling of shame to anyone who realizes they only magnified their mental health issues by mutilating their body and feeding themselves mind altering chemicals, and thus will often double down due to their own crippled ability to comprehend their real concerns and peer pressure, often resulting in a tragic downward spiral of rejection by former friends and family, unemployment, crime, even worse mental health issues, or even suicide.

    B. Autogynephilia

    Another major factor is that many autistics do not adjust well to puberty or any of the new secondary sexual characteristics that come with this, and the older they get, the more they become ill-adjusted and even maladjusted to sexual norms and behaviors, and many of these types are gullible, foolish, or deluded enough to be convinced they need to change gender to make it all make sense, and the more cynical types know on some level this is basically fetishizing of sexual characteristics taken to absurd extremes and reveling in them for sexual reasons, not because of any genuine medical or psychological concern, but merely obsession with sex as whatever gender they want to be.

    10. The Anti-Autism Autist

    Prime Examples: Johnathan Ross

    This autist is something of the antithesis to the autist who considers autism an identity, especially in that they vehemently deny their autism, deny any relation or identity with anyone who is autistic, and generally deny it any legitimacy.

    There are many reasons for doing so, ranging from shame, disgust, and hatred of their condition, or, for some, they have convinced themselves or have been convinced by others to be an autism denialist for any number of reasons.

    The two major types will be covered below:

    A. Mundane reasons for denying autism: The most common type is the type who simply rejects autism applies to them, either due to ostracism or hatred of association with autism because they see it as a negative attribute. While this is not uncommon even for neurotypical people accused of being autistic, the actually autistic who are this type are particularly sensitive to this as a slur and go to great lengths to deny their own autism, whatever form it may take.

    B. Fantastical reasons for denying autism: These are the types who either deny autism exists, deny what we term autism exists for reasons commonly expressed in scientific literature, or considers themselves on another mental level than an autistic, often for some fallacious reason that makes sense only to them.

    While elements of the more mundane reasons for being an anti-autist commonly apply, this type is akin to a "race realist", a racist who attempts to apply some ethos, science, or fact to justify their bigotry, and in the case of this type of autism, race hatred is instead substituted for their interpretation of autism as illegitimate.

    11. The Artificial Autist

    Prime Examples: Vade, Aura

    This type is not truly autistic, or at the very least, may have such a mild form of autism that it's barely discernible or even able to be diagnosed, or someone who just believes themselves to be autistic.

    Whatever the case, much like those who consider autism an identity, they will adopt all the culture and stigmas of autism as their own, and generally will do so in a cynical, self absorbed manner for their own profit, aware on some level they are merely adopting the disguise of autism for their own gain.

    These types are the remoras of the autistic community, glomming up valuable space and attention as pretenders to having autism and often marginalizing or even persecuting actual autistics if they feel they are being denied attention for what they profess to have.

    IMPORTANT NOTE: While these types may not actually be autistic in any medical or psychological sense of the term, their actions and obvious theory of mind may come so close to resembling autism the difference appears moot, but typically, if it's an elaborate ruse, no matter how elaborate it may be, when push comes to shove, the ruse will be abandoned if there is no gain whatsoever in retaining it.

    12. The Iconic Autist

    Prime example: David Gonterman

    This isn't so much a sub-type as it's more someone who, to some great or lesser extent, has become to go to example of showing off autistic behavior and is so well known, especially on the internet for autistic behavior they are, to some extent, aware of this status.

    While they may or may not adopt autism as an identity, this type is more then well aware of the notoriety they have gained from being associated with being autistic and will often take advantage of it either consciously or unconsciously, and have gotten so used to the attention they have gotten, for good or ill, they will attempt to secure a constant flow of said attention, again, either consciously or unconsciously, and they are also renowned for this as well.

    Some defining aspects of this type are:

    A. Self-awareness to a certain degree.

    This particular autist is, to some greater or lesser extent, in on the joke. They know they have become an image of mockery and scorn or simply just laughter in general and have come to embrace it, either out of the awareness its unable to be escaped so they might as well embrace it, or because they have realized to some extent their actions are not normal and need some degree of adjustment, but they are unable or unwilling to abandon what earned them laughter or scorn entirely lest they lose the original attention they gained.

    B. Performance artistry as a pathos.

    While their actions were generally not originally deliberately set out to have their autistic compulsions mocked or derided, they have come to embrace the perception of such for reasons of attention and encourage the perception of attention whoring to some degree to retain the attention they have earned as a conscious goal.

    13. The Laser-Guided Autist

    Prime Examples: Samuel Collingwood Smith/Vordrak (and the Autistic Legion of Doom by proxy in regards to their actions vs. Null/Joshua Moon)

    This type of autist is something a niche filler. While potentially capable of acting rational and neurotypical in many situations, they have particular interests or triggers that have them exhibit all the classic behaviors of autism without fail.

    Generally, two different triggers exist:

    A. A target of adoration or scorn: If there is someone or something this person loves or despises, it will hyper-focus their autistic traits, to whatever degree they exhibit them normally, and it will be magnified to extremes of behavior, almost to the point it seems like parody, such as psychotic and repetitive gushing or hating on a people, place, thing, or even concept, and any attempt to draw away their focus from this subject of ire or love will only send them into a paroxysm of emotion and outrage.

    B. A particular interest or hobby: While otherwise capable of reacting normally to most things, this autist will take an interest, in, for example, balloons, and take it to obsessive extremes. They will know all the intricacies and trivia about the topic in question, go on at great and often unsolicited lengths about it, and they will forsake eating, sleeping, and relieving themselves for their obsessions, and thanks to their autism, will often not understand or even comprehend what could be abnormal, wrong, or unusual about doing so. If such topic happens to be criminal to pursue, it can be hard if not impossible to convince them to not pursue it, even if there are clear legal consequences for doing so.

    14. The Sex Crazed Autist

    Prime Example: Richard "Terra" Jones (Fire)

    This brand of autist is one who has become obsessed with sexual topics, often for the most base and perverse of reasons. While normal people can be sexaholics, this brand of autist has stunted social understanding of why such things must be kept discreet like the neurotypical sexaholic who would try to hide it, often letting their sexual mores be on proud display for the world, ignorant or even outraged if the world reacts with confusion, horror, or disgust.

    While sharing similarities and and even some overlap with the the Troon, the key differences are that this particular manifestation of autist is less hung up about their gender and more about sex and sex acts in general, though they can be some of both types at the same time.

    It's also worth noting these types of autist are quite commonly those with a criminal record for sexual crimes, often causd by their societal inability to realize that discretion and restraint are necessary, not to mention their inability to refrain from advertising their deviances and their predictable and quite usually inflated outrage when people react to such deviance with revulsion.

    Two general reasons are the cause:

    A. Hormonal problems: Actual autism is aggravated by hormonal imbalances and sexual drives are often affected as well, and these types tend to take whatever their sexual love or fetish is and lets it dominate their lives, and thanks to their social deficiencies and tendency towards obsession, they find it hard to restrain their sexual mores nor show any discretion about them, no matter how tame or depraved.

    B. Sexual Abuse: Autistics are often tragically mistreated and misunderstood by not only strangers, but even family members, especially those who will harm or exploit the autistic in question for their own reasons, and this combination of sexual abuse mixed with the often distorted or stunted view of societal norms autistics suffer will often result in them seeing sexual excess or depravity as normal, either to partake in or be subjected to.

    15. The Troll-Shielding Autist

    Prime Examples: Anthony Logatto, Micheal J.Hirtes, any halaled Kiwi

    This autist is something of a meta-autist. They are aware to some extent of their own autistic behaviors and deviance, and they feel some degree of shame or fear of them being used against them.

    The neurotypical person would seek to hide this information, as most people capable of being rational realize the nails that stick up get hammered down.

    The trollshielding autist, on the other hand, thinks they can deflect attention away from themselves by focusing intense scorn like the laser-guided autist on another target, thus lowering their profile, and when this invariably backfires as most people realize those that doth protest too much are obviously hiding something and said autist is uncovered to be just as bad if not worse than what they target for scorn, they will usually go through the usual histrionic, asinine things the typical lolcow will do to escape the backfire, including sockpuppeting, trying to get revenge on whomever ripped off their mask of autismal nonsense, and otherwise doubling down and making an even bigger ass of themselves instead of fading into the stonework like they should have done in the first place.

    The common reasons for this are:

    A. A desire to exonerate themselves.

    In some form or fashion, an autist exposed for attempting to trollshield their own failings by targeting another person feels intense shame or fear. Socially stunted autismal logic leads them to believe they can purge this guilt by tainting someone else as far worse than what they see in themselves, hence their attempts to trollshield.

    B. Fear of being a target and a desire to belong.

    As sites like Encyclopedia Dramatica and the Kiwi Farms are well aware, many who have attempted to a-log other people who have earned themselves ED pages or threads when it backfired did so to be above suspicion and be on the side of the mockers, not the mocked.

    Autistics are invariably socially drawn to others, but their inability to realize when discretion is wiser than valor leads them to assume acting boldly to appear socially acceptable is better than being quiet and unobtrusive, hence their attempts to ingratiate themselves to places that highlight people like them that do make asses of themselves so as to not be potential targets, the classic "wolf in a sheep skin" logic in reverse.

    In reality, since these types of autist always don't know when to quit, take it too far,and expose their own autismal failings trying to do this, they invariably discover they are actually a sheep and the middle of a bunch of wolves disguised as sheep, and the result is never pretty because they become a far bigger target of mockery than if they just never bother to draw attention to themselves by doing so to others in such an obnoxious way it backfires on them.

    16. The Religious Autist

    Prime Example: @Skylar Ittner

    This autist, while easily mistaken as a religion oriented political autist, has some key differences.

    First, politics deals with theory that has application to the real world, while religion, past it's historical fact, tends to deal with more intangible and ephemeral subjects, such as worlds beyond the grave, beings with power not currently explainable by science, and the existence of things beyond human understanding.

    Second, religion is man's attempt to understand what reason alone does not seem to cover for many people, and it's also a means of, for the more cynical, a way to have power over one's existence, and, while true of normal believers of a religious faith, it's a means of asserting one's innate dignity and place in the grand scheme of the known universe.

    Autistics tend to grasp for a feeling of power over their reality and often seek to find a source of strength to draw from when the tangible world does not seem to provide, a source of comfort when reality is cruel, and a source of power when reality gives them none, and since autistic people often have stunted logic and social understanding, they will cling to faith in some cases even more than a relatively neurotypical person because it fills in holes in both their logic and fractured emotional control that they cannot otherwise find in politics or secular ethics, and so they will often become fanatics that would make otherwise neurotypical people who are devout think they are overdoing it.

    Common traits of this type are:

    A. An absolute belief their dogma is superior to illogical extremes.

    While common to any devout believer of a religion, the autistic has their own spin on this supremacy of their religious dogma above all others.

    For one, they will have little to no social tact or decorum except in whatever manner they discern given their stunted social adaptability is reasonable to express their religious convictions, and laws, rules, and even simple requests to moderate their approach in socially acceptable ways will be met with arrogance, intolerance, and utter unwillingness to do so, even if it would strike a person more capable of pragmatic thought that doing so would be more effective at winning others over.

    This extends to when their socially unacceptable displays of fanaticism blow up in their face, as they will continually double down, even to the point of destroying any sympathy or ability to be taken seriously because their social behavior is crippled by their autistic tendencies they cannot, except via their own distorted world view, comprehend what they are doing is inappropriate.

    B. A sense of power over a world that otherwise grants them none

    Like many believers in a religious creed, autistics who take the first point to it's insane ends are obsessed with power over their own lives and believe the model they have placed over their destiny in the form of whatever religious dogma they have adopted cannot be challenged in any way, as that would threaten their reality and their control over it, and while the more socially able understand that not everyone will agree or understand with this conviction, autistics tend to fail to pick up on the social hints their behaviors come off as deluded, sociopathic, and carrying cult like tones of demanding obedience, and since these social warnings from others elude them, they constantly find themselves nursing an exaggerated persecution complex as a result of completely missing the point of why their attempt to impose religious dogma not only on their lives but on that of those around them makes them outcast.

    IMPORTANT NOTE: An atheist autistic would fall under the same as the above, but in an inverse matter. The same socially unacceptable behaviors, irrational decisions, and arrogant belief in their own rightness despite how bizarre they appear to others in practice are all the same, except they apply this to asserting the LACK of power religious dogma and/or deity/deities have, but the same socially distorted behaviors are essentially unchanged save for this point.

    17. The Imitationist Autist

    Prime example: Alex Mahan

    Imitation is commonly held to be the sincerest form of flattery, and when done well or by those who can add their own unique touches in an innovative manner, autistic or neurotypical, then upon that foundation high art is created.

    However, the maladjusted autistic is essentially a distorted parody of this ideal, in that they seek the same basic goal as a successful imitationalist in trying to create art, philosophy, or some form of creation with their native talents, but they are either not up to the task, their work is slipshod, they suffer from ego inverse to their skill, or some combination of the above, and when married to the autistic inability to understand social faux pas and proportion both emotionally and otherwise, you get a prima donna who attempts to take a city of wood and leave a city of marble like Octavius Caesar once boasted of, and they will try to do the same by painting the wood white, calling it the same thing, and not understanding why their attempt is grossly inferior, is derided as shoddy, and why they draw such scorn for slipshod work.

    Autistics often find proportion hard to fathom or realistically determine emotionally, socially, or logistically, save for those fortunate autistics who are able to hyperfocus their talents in those areas. Many who cannot thus see the world through a cracked, foggy lens, assume their vision is normal, and thus all their works are retroactively crap because they cannot understand they cannot determine quality like the neurotypical or the genuinely gifted autistic. To them, they are El Greco, who was believed to have an astigmatism that affected his work, but unlike the famous artist, it works against them instead of with them, so they often produce slipshod work that is terrible to those who see what it actually looks like, but they see their work as genius because their distorted view of reality will not permit them to see what they have really created for what it is.

    18. The Self-Appointed Hero Autist

    Prime examples: Kurt Eichenwald, Russel Greer

    This breed of autist is a bit of an odd duck, in that what they want is not bad in and of itself, and if they went about in the right way, would not be bad but instead laudable, but the execution of this desire makes them this kind of autist.

    The Self-Appointed Hero is just that, they deem themselves a self-appointed champion of some cause or purpose, and have deemed themselves a noble paladin of said cause, it defines them to the point they must make sure the whole world knows they are this archetype of virtue, no matter how much of an obnoxious buffoon they make themselves out to be in process.

    Another aspect of this is that the actions they take are a bastardized reflection of actual heroism. For example, a guy who runs down a mugger of an old lady, takes him down and does a citizens arrest and turns him over to competent law enforcement ASAP would be an actual hero.

    The autist version would try to be a bad parody of Batman and skip the last part,hoping to be showered with accolades for their heroism and then attention whoring about their valiant deed so they can continue to be praised for heroism.

    The roots of this stem from two sources.

    A. Fractured self image.

    This form of autist has a damaged ego. Something shattered their sense of self-worth so badly they must attain a constant feeling of virtue to obscure or deny the pain this blow to their ego has caused them, and this drive is so intense it has consumed their reasons for being to the point it is their reason for being.

    B. Protesting too much.

    This form of autist practices a unique take on trollshielding in that they try to obscure their lack of virtue with a manufactured version, so as to hide or deny their less honorable, depraved, or evil acts.

    Often against all reason,this results in them trying to pretend to be better than the flawed species that is humanity to the point they take offense to be reminded they are flawed like everyone else, and this is because whatever evil, depravity, or moral failing has caused them so much conscious or subconscious guilt is so powerful they feel they must trollshield it away by overcompensating a facade of virtue.

    This can run hand in hand with the first motive and often does.

    19. The Inept Attention Whore Autist

    Prime examples: Bryan Dunn

    First, before we go further, attention whoring is a trait neurotypicals can display at times, but like all things autism encounters, this particular autist has their own unique take on bastardizing the concept.

    Unlike the Iconic Autist, they are utterly incompetent at making their autism entertaining. If anything, this particular autist is so poor at getting attention, positive or negative, the mere attempt at doing so, regardless the method, makes them look the utter fool.

    Positive attention is something they fail at because they lack charisma, talent, or any trait that would make however they try to gain the attention laudable. They even fail at getting negative attention successfully because it's so obvious they are angling for it they just look like they are trying too hard to be edgy or caustic, much like a failed attempt at imitating the style of late comedian George Carlin, who at least had genuine intellect, was likable as a human being, and actual talent for knowing just how far to push being offensive.

    In essence, they try so hard to get people to notice them, either for good or ill, that they just come off as utterly foolish and annoying.

    Motivations for this are as follows

    1. Imitationalism for gain done poorly.

    The imitationalist autist and this version differ in one key aspect. The former actually has a vested interest in proving their talent in some degree, even if only in a lazy and self serving manner. This one, on the other hand, whatever talent they want to prove is just a cheap shroud for the real goal, and that is to be the center of attention.

    Whatever genuine abilities they do have are irrelevant in the end, they are just a means to whore for glory or disgust, but their incompetence at showing any talent or the appearance of talent is so pronounced all that is left is sad attempts at attention whoring, like the obviously transparent shyster shilling a charity or someone trying to be a caustic comic and instead just sounding like someone who believes constantly cursing makes their rants funny.

    2. Desire for recognition at any cost

    This take two forms, a real life and internet version.

    IRL: They will do anything to be newsworthy or be talked about in public, even if they must do things that even the people who did Jackass would balk at because it's too foolish even for them.

    Internet: They will do anything to get the internet to pay attention to them, and they are so obsessed with being talked about, they will try to be a shining jewel of whatever internet community they reside in, and will often try to redirect all focus to themselves, even if in doing so they become universally hated, as to them, as long as people focus on them, even hatred is preferable to being ignored.

    For both types, being ignored is worse than death, and they will often crank their attempts to be noticed in the most clumsy manners possible up to eleven if they must rather than suffer that fate.
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    #1 GethN7, Jan 12, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2018

    Verified True & Honest Fan

  2. Which category would Dobson fall under?

    Also, great work.
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    Coconut Gun

    Coconut Gun He's the gun member of the coconut crew

  3. You should probably place yourself somewhere in this.

    Also probably me too. And definitely @Jaimas.
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    AnOminous boo
    True & Honest Fan Retired Staff

  4. okay, a pretty interesting topic. Can I see the Bestiary of SJW's if it's up yet
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    andr0id psycho sho(ker

    andr0id psycho sho(ker I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!

  5. What, no Kiwi Autist?
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    dunbrine47 Rumpy Fish's Brother: Grumpy

  6. Would enablers be their own category? I think a lot of autists who have difficulty understanding what is normal behavior and what isn't get enabled by their online hugbox.
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    Wallace Cram it in me, baby!

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    Verified True & Honest Fan

  7. I'm just laughing because MovieBob fits like 6 or 7 of these all on his own.
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    PurpleDude Pussburglar

  8. Thanks.

    Dobson is a mix of the Fan Autist, Raging Autist, Sex Crazed Autist, and Political Autist.

    Good idea. PM me anything for a possible entry and I'll add it.

    I might need to add a "Trollshielding Autist", like how many halaled Kiwis typically are guilty of this, as are many lolcows whose autism center around a-logging other people.
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    Verified True & Honest Fan

  9. What do you think of people like Varg, the guy with the autistic wife, who think it's a return to normal human behavior? Or people who think it's the next stage of human evolution?

    There's also a theory (maybe not a theory) that autism is just neanderthalism. Neanderthals were not dumb as the colloquial insults imply.
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    Jewed Hunter

    Jewed Hunter C O N F R O N T

  10. That's a variation of the autist as identity, albeit a distorted, highly self serving interpretation of autism.

    Verified True & Honest Fan

  11. This is a thing?

    You're posting on this forum, nothing else need be said.
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    Jaimas Spooky b/w Scary
    True & Honest Fan Wiki Sysop

  12. That would be the autism cultist, he who worships autism as the strings that bind the world.
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    Jewed Hunter

    Jewed Hunter C O N F R O N T

  13. @Fuck you jewish cunt , I saw you rated one of my posts negative.

    Not that I mind, you're certainly entitled to that opinion, and I'm not going to melt down over a neg rating, but I am curious why you think my post you rated dumb was indeed dumb.

    No sarcasm intended, I would genuinely appreciate some more information.

    Edit: Got a response on my profile, appreciate the clarification.
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    #14 GethN7, Jan 12, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2018

    Verified True & Honest Fan

  14. @GethN7 I must admit that this is quite impressive and I do like how you've categorized the major autism archetypes on the internet.

    I do have a suggestion for a category for religion-centered autists, whether they be your fundamentalist Christian types, fedora-tipping euphoric Atheists, or even wacky New Agers and Neopagans. I can't name any specific autists or lolcows off the top of my head in this category other than Varg and his pseudo-Viking neopagan shaman antics, but I know we've covered them on this site.

    Although the religious autists may just fall into a sub-category of the political autist.
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    Syaoran Li

    Syaoran Li Vampire Mom

  15. I probably need to make one for religious autists, they have their own unique quirks that differentiate them from political autists.

    For one, politics deals with issues that can be tested and proven in the real world, while religion is, past a certain point, a matter of literal faith.

    Second, while both can overlap, political autists tend to reach for facts in favor of their position, while the religious autist tends to try to and prove the superiority of their beliefs over any others, as past the historical basis of a religion, you either believe or don;t believe in it's deities, miracles, and other subjects that you can't assign facts and figures to.

    Also, I'd lump fedora lords under the religious autist, since they ironically do many of the same things religious autist do to prove their beliefs, just in reverse.

    Edit: Added the trollshielding and religious autist to the OP.
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    #16 GethN7, Jan 13, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2018

    Verified True & Honest Fan

  16. andr0id psycho sho(ker

    andr0id psycho sho(ker I destroy internet memes with my creepy stare!

  17. Excellent work.

    The one addendum I'd suggest would be something I've seen referred to as Cardboard Castle syndrome elsewhere on the internet, but I'm not sure if it's warranted. Several cows are completely defined by the concept though to the point where it outshines all their other forms of autistic behavior.

    Cardboard Castle autists see someone do something (building a castle) and gaining respect and fame from it. They rationalize that if they do the same they'll receive a similar amount of praise, so they set out to do the thing on their own and eventually succeed to the extent that whatever they create is markedly and visibly inferior to the original. The autism comes from their complete and utter inability to differentiate quality between the original medium and their interpretation of it, to it to the point where they violently reject anything they can interpret as criticism ("Hey, is your castle made out of cardboard? It looks good!") and utter belief that they can do no wrong and their backwards, self-taught methods must be adequate and/or superior because they worked So Hard on them.

    Andrew Dobson and YandereDev/EvaXephon are the two examples I can think of prominently.

    The important differentiation here is that while artcows who make terrible art are common, they can change. Tim Buckley and Rob Liefeld for example have both taken criticism to heart and moved on to the point where their art is competent. Dobson now is indistinguishable from Dobson in 2013.
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    #18 ducktales4gameboy, Jan 16, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2018

    ducktales4gameboy git push -a -m "fixed #221 (goddammit unity)"

  18. Interesting concept, and I think it's unique enough it could be it's own entry, so I'll try to write something up for it soon.

    Verified True & Honest Fan

  19. Excellent analysis on autists, @GethN7.

    @x86x2 (Barneyfag) would definitely fit in the Trollshielder, Anti-Autism, Conspiracy Theorist, Laser-Guided, Fan, Raging, Respect Mah Authoritah, and (maybe?) Artificial categories. Or should there be a special category dedicated to autists like him known as "The 'Barneyfag' Autist" which combines all these traits?

    Since there's a "Fan" category, I wonder if there's an "Anti-Fan Autist" category out there. That would identify autists like Barneyfag who are an antithesis to fans in which they hyper-focus on hating something to the point where it has power over their lives.
    Echs Why Zed

    Echs Why Zed I Hate Kids With SU Profile Pics

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