The Birth Control Thread - Because Aunty Flow Motherfucking Blows

[NoodleFucker3000]

Ngl, I'm trying to doctor shop for a uterine ablation, but none in my area seem to perform them on a childless woman. :/ which quite frankly, is absolute fucking bullshit nonsense, I don't need a doctor assuming my life choices for me based on their own emotionally-charged opinions. Either give me a medically based reason to not perform it, or fuck off. "But babies are a miracle!!!" Is not a medically based, objective response. And no, a child I bore would not be a "miracle", it would likely be a deformed garbage rat from all my defect causing psych meds, or worse, get fucked up beyond all recognition from the fact that I am nuts and can't be without those same drugs. Maybe mentally ill women shouldn't reproduce at all! For completely practical, rational, reasons.


Surgical options like ablation, cryofreezing, or even tubal ligation- are without the long term medical complications from hormonal options, do not have the same risks as long term implants or IUDs, and are put patient or in office procedures. Long gone are the days wherein a crazy woman's only option was a hysterectomy involving being sliced left to right. Bring back sterilization.

 

[Szfynks]

I had that stupid Nexplanon implant in my arm. The first three months were great until I randomly started to get sick practically every other day, then every day, then every single night. I couldn't lay down, I couldn't sit, everything was uncomfortable in my body and I even lost weight due to this bullshit because who the hell wants to eat food when you're constantly puking your guts up. The mood swings/changes got pretty bad too, and it ultimately led to me demanding that a doctor pull the bullshit out. The E.R. first denied me because "oh well we didn't do it so it's not our responsibility", so I went to a Planned Parenthood copycat and demanded they take me in due to the fact that I was sick nearly every day and couldn't function properly.

All in all, fuck birth control. Your fiance/boyfriend is a retard if they can't successfully pull out every time. Condoms also are fine, just invest in Okamoto/Crown, they're thinner than your usual Trojan so I don't want to hear bullshit about how your dick "can't feel a thing".

My friend got an implant and reported similar problems. It got even worse later due to her depression meds. I've already had two mental breakdowns in my life even without messing with my hormones, so I know for a fact it's not the method for me.

My high school friend is a midwife and when we had our small hs get togethers during uni years, all our former classmates would swarm her and ask questions about gyno stuff. Girls "on the pill" learned that all of them were misusing them - they were taking them too long, without breaks, didnt change them after some years of use etc. Worse part? Their gynos didnt tell them shit about the safe use of it exept basics like "remember to take them every day", some of them didnt even bother to ask them about smoking. Their approach is too casual.

 

[Android raptor]

Does ablation stop periods and make you completely sterile? If so that sounds like something I need. The IUD has been great so far but I don't like the fact that I technically have a very slight risk of pregnancy (I fear rape and live in the bible belt). I'm in the same boat, batshit crazy and pregnancy/childbirth would probably end in a bloodbath.

I wish it was as easy for women to get sterilized as prolife men seem to think it is.

 

[Calculus]

Does ablation stop periods and make you completely sterile?

Usually ablation is done with sterilisation. I don’t think it always stops periods completely but does make them much lighter anyway.

 

[BrownPhillip]

Ngl, I'm trying to doctor shop for a uterine ablation, but none in my area seem to perform them on a childless woman. :/ which quite frankly, is absolute fucking bullshit nonsense, I don't need a doctor assuming my life choices for me based on their own emotionally-charged opinions. Either give me a medically based reason to not perform it, or fuck off. "But babies are a miracle!!!" Is not a medically based, objective response. And no, a child I bore would not be a "miracle", it would likely be a deformed garbage rat from all my defect causing psych meds, or worse, get fucked up beyond all recognition from the fact that I am nuts and can't be without those same drugs. Maybe mentally ill women shouldn't reproduce at all! For completely practical, rational, reasons.


Surgical options like ablation, cryofreezing, or even tubal ligation- are without the long term medical complications from hormonal options, do not have the same risks as long term implants or IUDs, and are put patient or in office procedures. Long gone are the days wherein a crazy woman's only option was a hysterectomy involving being sliced left to right. Bring back sterilization.

I had the exact same issue with my vasectomy.
The doctor told me I was too young. Now that I'm older I have to aggree with his assessment.

 

[The Last Stand]

I'll birth control myself. No kids for me, no sirree.

 

[Sriracha]

Fuck it, I'll overshare.

I've got a hormonal IUD and pretty much what everyone said is right. You bleed lightly everyday for about 4 months, which kind of sucks but after it adjusts you pretty much don't get your period at all and if you do, it's very light.

I've always had problems with my period and before people suggest lifestyle changes, I have always been very active and healthy and my doctor has told me that there is absolutely nothing I can do to improve it. I've got a hormonal IUD because it's reducing my risk of endometrial cancer and I'd highly recommend anyone who has irregular periods to get one if you're not planning on getting pregnant in the meantime.

It does kind of suck in the beginning, but once you adjust you kind of forget about it. If you're thinking about getting one, make sure you go to an experienced doctor. The only times you'll have issues is if the doctor fucks up and doesn't put it in correctly.

 

[General Disarray]

God damn I LOVE menopause <3

Spoiler: Chick stuff

eta: I used to get terrible cystic acne on my chin every cycle, terrible cramps, TONS of blood the first few days, BC pills made me crazier than I already was.

A few months of hot flashes more than makes up for no more hormone rushes. I've never been more clear-minded, emotionally stable and acne free in my LIFE and I could not be happier. No more pads, tampons, cramps, ibuprofen... it's amazing.

I have yet to experience any decreased libido or vaginal dryness either and I am six years in (but I did get mine a little earlier than most women).

 

[Caffeine Tangerine]

I can't wait for menopause. I tried the pill but it turned me into a zombie! I feel for you all with terrible cramps/pms. Shit fucking sucks.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

God damn I LOVE menopause <3

Spoiler: Chick stuff

eta: I used to get terrible cystic acne on my chin every cycle, terrible cramps, TONS of blood the first few days, BC pills made me crazier than I already was.

A few months of hot flashes more than makes up for no more hormone rushes. I've never been more clear-minded, emotionally stable and acne free in my LIFE and I could not be happier. No more pads, tampons, cramps, ibuprofen... it's amazing.

I have yet to experience any decreased libido or vaginal dryness either and I am six years in (but I did get mine a little earlier than most women).

GORL I am going to be there in the next few years and I can't wait. Endometriosis (and resulting hysterectomies) run in my family and I'm fucking relieved to be staring down a relatively "normal" menopause. And since HRT-related breast cancer ALSO is a problem I'll won't be fucking with medication in any way, shape, or form. The troons can have all the pregnant mare urine for their crazy selves.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

TMI time but I'm on my 4th consecutive implant and it's been a revelation. Maybe I lucked out but the only "side effect" has been either my periods becoming really short and light or sometimes stopping altogether.

All in all, fuck birth control. Your fiance/boyfriend is a retard if they can't successfully pull out every time. Condoms also are fine, just invest in Okamoto/Crown, they're thinner than your usual Trojan so I don't want to hear bullshit about how your dick "can't feel a thing".

There's a word for people who use pulling out as a method of contraception; they're called parents.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Plan B is abortion.

It's not. It's aborting the possibility of pregnancy. You should be prepared though, your partner might feel like shit after taking it so be prepared for that.

 

[georgyjobe]

Y'all my mom had hot flashes for almost a decade straight. I wish I could be excited but I'm probably more uncomfortable when I'm overly hot than I am on an average crampy day.

GORL I am going to be there in the next few years and I can't wait. Endometriosis (and resulting hysterectomies) run in my family and I'm fucking relieved to be staring down a relatively "normal" menopause. And since HRT-related breast cancer ALSO is a problem I'll won't be fucking with medication in any way, shape, or form. The troons can have all the pregnant mare urine for their crazy selves.

This is actually the first I ever heard of this. Thank you Lolcow Salon!

 

[lamictal]

Total oversharing, but oh well. I've been on the same pill for almost ten years now. I feel extremely lucky to have gotten a pill that works mostly well for me on the first try, especially because I have a real bad case of endometriosis. I skip the sugar pills (doctor's recommendation) so that I can avoid having a period altogether, but I still get the occasional breakthroughs, and phew are they just as bad as they were before I started birth control! I have noticed, though, that the breakthroughs are starting to become a little more frequent lately, so that has me a little concerned about if I need to switch it up or not. Seeing the gyno about it soon.


I feel for all the gorls that are unable to find bc methods that work for them. Periods fucking suck.

 

[draftdodger]

TMI time but I'm on my 4th consecutive implant and it's been a revelation. Maybe I lucked out but the only "side effect" has been either my periods becoming really short and light or sometimes stopping altogether.

There's a word for people who use pulling out as a method of contraception; they're called parents.

My implant has been great too. I haven’t menstruated since about a month after getting it (have had short bouts of very minor spotting about 2x a year though) and I haven’t experienced any of the other issues that so many people report. I feel like I got extremely lucky there because I’ve read how badly it fucks with some people. I’m not using it to prevent pregnancy (though it is a good bonus) but because I have extremely painful periods and was sick of the pill. It’s not like they’re going to check I have endometriosis if I respond well to the implant. I think I’ll keep replacing it until I hit menopause, it’s just too convenient.

 

[Weed Eater]

There's a word for people who use pulling out as a method of contraception; they're called parents.

When I'm a parent I'll eat my own words, until then I've been doing just fine.

 

[Ronnie Rocket]

Plan B is abortion. Please stop being a nympho that needs a do-over button when consequences happen.

How about you use a condom or get a vasectomy?

 

[UntitledKiwi]

I’m on my third implant and I’ll be honest, it’s been pretty great. I had the second one replaced a year and a half early due to a long stint of antibiotics causing constant spotting for me (antibiotics fuck with birth control as we all know) and the third one is doing great.

This one will probably be my last before I change methods though, since I’ll want children.

My best friend also loved Depo and didn’t have a lot of side effects from it, so I guess most people I know have been pretty fortunate with the progesterone forms of birth control.

 

[artilleryfroth]

Condoms suck and it ruins my enjoyment. I'm pro-pill and pro-pill accessories(like depo, Plan-B and SSRIs).

SSRIs are not a contraceptive...

But then I turned 30. I'm a smoker. And everyone knows that smokers over 30 who take the pill have a higher risk of stroke.

That’s purely a function of hypertension. Your GP should have been testing your blood pressure before every script, and considering putting you on a medication like Idaprex.
Also, please quit smoking. The best success rate I have seen so far is controlled vaping of pure nicotine oil, slowly tapering off.

 

[Speakeasy Electric]

I was on the depo shot for 6(!) years starting at like 16 at the urging of my mother (who was a first gen American and teen mom). I started my period quite young (9) and always had “bad moods” and cramps. No one told me when I started having horrible cystic acne all over my cheeks, how likely it was that it was my birth control.
Not my GP who prescribed and administrated the shot, not the dermatologist he referred me to. She put me through a round of Accutane (Isotretinoin) which is a terrible drug, literally made my joints hurt for the whole time, dried out my skin/eyes, etc. Long story short the accutane DID clear my skin up for about 6 months before the acne started coming back. I was crushed.
I got off of depo provera and switched to Yaz. Within 1 cycle my acne was gone, GONE.

I’m actually getting married this year and have recently gotten off of all hormonal bc, and have began to start to understand my hormonal cycles and how to “ride the wave” rather than fighting it. I have a lot less shame about this stuff now too. I think it’s important to talk to other women about these topics. I thought I had PMDD but I’m honestly not sure, I get cranky during my luteal phase but I dont feel like punching walls out of rage like I did all those years on bc? It makes me feel a little bitter sometimes.

An interesting site I’ve found on my journey of learning about reproductive health is sisterzeus.com which is how I learned how to successfully induce my period with parsley tea and vitamin c, and has loads of information from things like Fertility Awareness and herbs affecting the menstrual cycle to herbal contraception and herbal abortion.

Imo information like that on sisterzeus is highly likely to be censored and should be protected. I’m certainly not anti bc but hormonal bc is kinda fucky and I’m glad to be done with it. Idk if I have a teen daughter if I would encourage her to get on it honestly.