The Brianna Wu Signature Collection Death March - A slow motion trainwreck you can't help but watch.

[Norvic]

I was bored, so I made a chart of True and Honest Campaign Staffer(TM) Warren Lynch's progress on collecting signatures to get Wu on the ballot.

It's, er, not going very well even if you assume every single signature is valid and he didn't need a buffer of several hundred signatures to get them all validated.

I wonder if Wu has any plans to address this problem? She certainly doesn't seem concerned enough to collect signatures herself, but she's still talking like it's a certainty she's going to be in the primary.... Maybe she's just bullshitting for the campaign contributions.

(Edit: Added a trend line to the graph for added lulz, currently trending for less than 800 signatures.)

Edit 2: Just for comparison's sake, the real campaigns are just finishing their signature collection drives around now.

They should all be done around the middle of April.

 

[millais]

Frank is too busy with day job to be canvassing for signatures except on weekends maybe, so I imagine he can only be around 1/10th as productive as Warren, if he is out getting signatures at all.

 

[Sissy Galvez]

Call me crazy but I believe John will make it on the ballot. I’d love to see him fail but I think it would be more fun to see him lose in the actual primary. Plus more chances someone in the media finally finds their balls and John’s skeletons come out of th closet.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Wu's campaign is not dissimilar from Homer Simpson's run against the longtime incumbent sanitation commissioner:

 

[RodgerDodger]

And I the end it all comes down to math and reality. Wu’s two archnemisis! And let’s be honest, Wu’s not going to be on the ballot. Not even the Massachusetts Dems want someone this unstable, insane, unpredictable and offensive on the ballot, even as a joke dark horse. Rules recommend at least 4000 signatures due to challenges. The Dems will make sure Wu needs the full suggested 4K. Warren’s work is not gonna cut it. Brianna will cry Muhsogyknees! But Johnny boy clearly failed to do the effort needed. Johnny always fails to do the effort needed.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Wu's campaign is not dissimilar from Homer Simpson's run against the longtime incumbent sanitation commissioner:

Not really. Wu’s ravings are almost exclusively on Twitter. How many Dustrict 8 residents actually follow or get Wu’s twitter? I’m thinking 4-5.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Not really. Wu’s ravings are almost exclusively on Twitter. How many Dustrict 8 residents actually follow or get Wu’s twitter? I’m thinking 4-5.

Exactly. "Nobody wants to hear"

 

[Kiras left nipple]

Won't make it, it'll be 'gamergate stole all the clipboards!'

Then wu will try to sell itself a some expert in political commentary...

 

[Norvic]

Call me crazy but I believe John will make it on the ballot. I’d love to see him fail but I think it would be more fun to see him lose in the actual primary. Plus more chances someone in the media finally finds their balls and John’s skeletons come out of th closet.

Well, I'm not saying it's impossible, but if they're going to manage it it's going to be an incredible scramble at the last minute.

They really need like 20 volunteers who can work every weekend from now until the deadline. God knows where Wu could dig up 20 reliable people who support her scampaign though.

 

[MasterDisaster]

God knows where Wu could dig up 20 reliable people who support her

By actually digging them up.

 

[Norvic]

By actually digging them up.

So when Wu said she was going to have people of colour on her staff, she actually meant Baron Samedi?

 

[Kroster]

I'll rate myself autistic for the depths of my bewilderment here, when it's all obvious, but I just don't understand how they can be screwing up so much. I have many friends collecting signatures for many different ballots right now and they're doing in a few days what he's spent all month doing. I know it's partially because they have friends, which makes it easier to find people to ask for a signature. But Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, this is painful and embarrassing. I feel embarrassed even watching it go down.

 

[valis]

Wu's campaign is not dissimilar from Homer Simpson's run against the longtime incumbent sanitation commissioner:

But Homer won.

 

[Eli Whitney]

I could envision a scenario where John fails to get ballot access yet still continues the scampaing claiming to be runnnig as a scrappy write in option. Hell, I could even see it going well beyond the actual election.

 

[jace821]

Call me crazy but I believe John will make it on the ballot. I’d love to see him fail but I think it would be more fun to see him lose in the actual primary. Plus more chances someone in the media finally finds their balls and John’s skeletons come out of th closet.

Bri won’t be on the ballot unless frank writes a huge check to get a company to get the signatures. I agree with the “will cry misogyny” or write in candidate option.

 

[RodgerDodger]

I'll rate myself autistic for the depths of my bewilderment here, when it's all obvious, but I just don't understand how they can be screwing up so much. I have many friends collecting signatures for many different ballots right now and they're doing in a few days what he's spent all month doing. I know it's partially because they have friends, which makes it easier to find people to ask for a signature. But Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker, this is painful and embarrassing. I feel embarrassed even watching it go down.

This is not hard to understand. Have you looked at the three members of the campaign staff? The only people on the WuCru? (I wait for the day Lego sues) I mean if Warren or Frank were to approach you in a parking lot the first second and only reaction of any sane person is to reach for the mace. If Wu itself were to leave it's filth laden den and attempt to engage you would run screaming and never look back. When Warren goes up to potential signers in a gas station I'm betting more people just give him some loose change than hear him out to sign his clipboard.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I could envision a scenario where John fails to get ballot access yet still continues the scampaing claiming to be runnnig as a scrappy write in option. Hell, I could even see it going well beyond the actual election.

She did say she'd keep running...

 

[Slap47]

Call me crazy but I believe John will make it on the ballot. I’d love to see him fail but I think it would be more fun to see him lose in the actual primary. Plus more chances someone in the media finally finds their balls and John’s skeletons come out of th closet.

Ideally, Wu wins the whole election and destroys the reputation of her party for decades.

 

[Norvic]

Ideally, Wu wins the whole election and destroys the reputation of her party for decades.

Oh, dude. Don't even whisper that. No possible outcome is worth Wu being given power and credibility. She'd be insufferable forever.

 

[Slap47]

Oh, dude. Don't even whisper that. No possible outcome is worth Wu being given power and credibility. She'd be insufferable forever.

Ideally they're a powerless opposition that has to deal with a person that will be insufferable no matter what.